Cap Man Virgo Woman

Hello all!
I'm a virgo woman with Venus in scorpio and have been persued by a cap man for the last several years. Like 10 to be exact. He also has a Venus in scorpio.

I've declined his advances many times even though I do like him but he keeps coming back. We really have a lot in common and similar goals. Even though he hasn't expressed this to me I can feel that he is extremely controlling, and even possesive... Much like myself. I can admit that. But I can also tell that he is extremely passive aggressive and I think that's what turns me off. Both of my parents are passive aggressive so that's not something I wish to deal with.

I've flat out said no. How do I get it across without being brutal that it's not a good idea for us to date? I don't want to irrevocably do unnecessary damage.

Posted by MMzphit
Hello all!
I'm a virgo woman with Venus in scorpio and have been persued by a cap man for the last several years. Like 10 to be exact. He also has a Venus in scorpio.

I've declined his advances many times even though I do like him but he keeps coming back. We really have a lot in common and similar goals. Even though he hasn't expressed this to me I can feel that he is extremely controlling, and even possesive... Much like myself. I can admit that. But I can also tell that he is extremely passive aggressive and I think that's what turns me off. Both of my parents are passive aggressive so that's not something I wish to deal with.

I've flat out said no. How do I get it across without being brutal that it's not a good idea for us to date? I don't want to irrevocably do unnecessary damage.

You sound passive-aggressive too.

Posted by cheekyfaerie
Hmm. You did say you like him. Is it possible you've sent mixed signals? Not saying that would excuse the unwanted advances, but hope is a dangerous thing for someone that fits the description you gave.

We've talked and I've explained my feelings pretty honestly. I don't want to cause harm which is why I'm seeking advice. I feel like there's nothing else I can say short of being vulgar and crude.

Posted by Palerio

Posted by MMzphit
Hello all!
I'm a virgo woman with Venus in scorpio and have been persued by a cap man for the last several years. Like 10 to be exact. He also has a Venus in scorpio.

I've declined his advances many times even though I do like him but he keeps coming back. We really have a lot in common and similar goals. Even though he hasn't expressed this to me I can feel that he is extremely controlling, and even possesive... Much like myself. I can admit that. But I can also tell that he is extremely passive aggressive and I think that's what turns me off. Both of my parents are passive aggressive so that's not something I wish to deal with.

I've flat out said no. How do I get it across without being brutal that it's not a good idea for us to date? I don't want to irrevocably do unnecessary damage.

You sound passive-aggressive too.

click to expand

I can be if I feel I've been wronged. I have no problem admitting that. But I do make verbal efforts to avoid that from happening.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by MMzphit

Posted by cheekyfaerie
Hmm. You did say you like him. Is it possible you've sent mixed signals? Not saying that would excuse the unwanted advances, but hope is a dangerous thing for someone that fits the description you gave.

We've talked and I've explained my feelings pretty honestly. I don't want to cause harm which is why I'm seeking advice. I feel like there's nothing else I can say short of being vulgar and crude.

Gotcha. Sad to say, but when you've exhausted all other options, some people need the snap. Not saying you're there, I have no way of knowing that, but I had a situation with a Scorp sun that only got better when I finally lost my cool. What's the nature of your relationship? Friends... work mates...

click to expand

We're just casual friends with similar interests and haven't shared any romantic interactions. I don't want to hurt him but I'm not really sure what to do. The passive aggressive thing to do would be ignoring him but I've learned first hand that tends to cause resentment issues.

Posted by MMzphit

Posted by Palerio

Posted by MMzphit
Hello all!
I'm a virgo woman with Venus in scorpio and have been persued by a cap man for the last several years. Like 10 to be exact. He also has a Venus in scorpio.

I've declined his advances many times even though I do like him but he keeps coming back. We really have a lot in common and similar goals. Even though he hasn't expressed this to me I can feel that he is extremely controlling, and even possesive... Much like myself. I can admit that. But I can also tell that he is extremely passive aggressive and I think that's what turns me off. Both of my parents are passive aggressive so that's not something I wish to deal with.

I've flat out said no. How do I get it across without being brutal that it's not a good idea for us to date? I don't want to irrevocably do unnecessary damage.

You sound passive-aggressive too.

I can be if I feel I've been wronged. I have no problem admitting that. But I do make verbal efforts to avoid that from happening.

click to expand

He keeps coming back because he can sense you like him a bit and that chemistry is there, you said it yourself after all. It's been 10 years now, thus I can only see two scenarios: you either give him the chance to date you for real or decide to cut contacts and lose him.

"I don't want to irrevocably do unnecessary damage" is passive-aggressive and too convenient.

You're forced to be brutal this time.