Gender Roles and Power Struggles

What are your power struggles within your relationship?
How is it/has it effected your relationships?

Are the roles in your relationship defined?
If so what kind of role do you both play?

Ladies do you submit to your man?
How important is this to relationships?
Men do you have a woman who submits or doesn't submit to you and how does it effect your relationship?

Should women know when to speak up and when to shut up?
Should men man up more?
Do men have a problem with wearing the pants, being the protector, provider and taking charge?
How important is it to have a partner who challenges you?

Are the roles in your relationship defined? Other than I have one Y and she has two X's, no.
If so what kind of role do you both play? The extent of our role playing is done in video games.

Men do you have a woman who submits or doesn't submit to you and how does it effect your relationship?
I want a dynamic with my SO. I want input and to share feelings and take both into account. Unless we're talking about the bedroom...?

Should women know when to speak up and when to shut up? EVERYONE should know when to do both.
Should men man up more? What does that even mean? "Man" up? Like, be "bros" and work out and whistle and women and fix clogged drains and sh!t? Or prove something to the woman about "Who's boss"?

Do men have a problem with wearing the pants, being the protector, provider and taking charge?
I expect my wife to be just as much the protector, provider and take charge WITH me.

How important is it to have a partner who challenges you? It'd be a pretty boring marriage otherwise. I married the ONE person who CAN challenge me! 😄

What are your power struggles within your relationship? None really, except I'm more forward about making plans.

How is it/has it effected your relationships? We go and do a lot more! lol!

Are the roles in your relationship defined? We are equals.

If so what kind of role do you both play? He's the man, I'm the woman. We have to plan out sexy time and I'm the one wanting more of sexy time, he's the one wanting quality time.

Ladies do you submit to your man? Yes, usually.

How important is this to relationships? I think the man needs to be allowed to be the man.

Men do you have a woman who submits or doesn't submit to you and how does it effect your relationship?

Should women know when to speak up and when to shut up? Yes. Don't talk during the game, that's what commercials are for! 🙂

Should men man up more? Yes, men should be a man, and they should be allowed to be.

Do men have a problem with wearing the pants, being the protector, provider and taking charge?

How important is it to have a partner who challenges you? Very, it keeps things interesting.

I get really angry when people associate being submissive as the opposite of speaking up. Not speaking up doesn't make you submissive, nor does speaking up make you dominate

Speaking up means just that. The confidence in yourself to stand up for what you believe is right. Both submissive/dominant women AND men can do this.

I'm really conflicted on what people mean when they say, "A man should be a man." What does that really mean? The guy who is muscular is just as much a "man" as the guy who has no muscles. The guy who cries is just as much a man as the guy who never does. A man that stays at home with his kids is just as much a man as the guy who works/provides for his family

Enough of this gender role crap. Whatever happened to just being friends first, enjoying the connection, making each other laugh, being intimate, being there for EACH OTHER, enjoying each other's companionship & taking from the other person what you may lack?

Enough of these "Relationship by the book" stuff. People get so caught up in it that they forget to just freakin enjoy the person. They're so obsessed with how to be, how they should act, etc. It's like, so if you're just naturally a dominant person, what, you're just going to completely shut that side of you off all b/c you're in a relationship?? That's crap!

Just be you! If that means you're more dominant than other women or the man, who cares. There is someone out there for everybody!

Men say they want a woman that is loyal, and will be there for them through thick and then

Well if that very same man gets offended when his woman steps in, takes over the finances or becomes the breadwinner when he loses his job & his ability to be society's version of a "provider," then that's an indication that the whole gender role thing can actually make a relationship more complex than it has to be

Men aren't invincible. They get hurt. They get laid off. They lose jobs. They get sick. And a man who thinks his woman stepping up to provide for him, protect him or do "manly chores" is a bad thing or something to be offended over, he'll really miss out on a loyal woman & seem unappreciative if the only reason he's offended is b/c of some society gender role rule.

Things should be equal! Both genders doing the chores. Both genders providing. Both genders stepping up where the other lacks or stepping down where the other excels.

These things shouldn't be a "gender thing." They should be a "Love thing."

Power struggles are nothing more than inner insecurities that you unfairly project onto another person

Some people try to enforce gender roles in their relationships w/o ever really knowing WHY they even believe in them in the 1st place lol

If you actually think about it, this whole gender role thing is extremely irrational!

Relationships last longer when both people have MORE in common, than not. 2 people can't be in align with each other if everything they do is different.

If you've got 2 people who BOTH want to cut the grass, provide for the family unit, have control over the finances & have some say so in things, what the F is wrong with that?!!!

I have to admit, I like power struggles in my relationship. It's not so intense as it was in the beginning, now it's more mellowed, and it is harmonious. It's not the kind of power stuggle that is "physical" but the psychological warfare kind. Now that astrology has opened my eyes a bit more....
Still dumb about it, but it's just kind of funny. Before astrology I never really thought much of that, it just came Naturally
Now that astrology gave it more of a defining "definition" with words, I see it.

Here is a good site:

http://www.loveatfirstfight.com/relationship-advice/conflict/overcome-power-struggle-stage/<BR>
The Paradox of LOVE
Paradoxically, it takes falling out of love to spark the next stage of your growth, both individually and as a couple.
If you??re both willing to grow, you can get beyond the tug of war and learn how to share power between you in a fluid, productive way.
Only then can you move beyond the Power Struggle stage of relationship into a deeper, more mature love that can be even more passionate, exciting and connected that what you??ve experienced in the Romance Stage.

This one is more of the "fighting" power struggle, but either way, both need to go into the stage of "growth" ....

What are your power struggles within your relationship?
I've been told I'm too aggressive and/or powerful. To that I say either keep up or get left. Only the weak complain about someone else's strength.

How is it/has it effected your relationships?
Some people feel secure and love it, some people get mad and want to challenge me. They want me to stop what I've been doing since birth so they can take over. (not gonna happen)

Are the roles in your relationship defined?
I don't see roles. I see it as let me be who I am without trying to put me in a box. You be you. Either love me or hate me; IDGAF

If so what kind of role do you both play?
I know who I am, what I want, what I wont tolerate and what I will. Sorry, that's never going to change so play the role of loving me for who I am, and I will give it in return. Leave your expectations behind.

Ladies do you submit to your man?
Submit how? If I feel like doing something nice I will, but I will not give into demands, or act like how someone else thinks I'm 'supposed' to. You'll get a headache bringing that nonsense.

How important is this to relationships?
It's important that my sense of identity is respected. If you cant deal with it, you know where the door is. I compromise some things, but never who I am as a person.

Men do you have a woman who submits or doesn't submit to you and how does it effect your relationship?
IDGAF.

Should women know when to speak up and when to shut up?
I say speak your mind, because no one is a mind reader. Say what makes you happy, and what crosses you. Let your feelings be known. If the one you with doesnt like it, you dont need to be with them.

Should men man up more?
A man is a man. It's not what he does that makes him a man. It's how he carries himself. If they are men, the 'manning up' has already been established.

Do men have a problem with wearing the pants, being the protector, provider and taking charge?
In the past, some men loved who I was and how I carried myself. Others complained that I 'didnt let a man be a man.' To that I say, I have NOTHING to do with your masculinity. If you feel threatened by the strength of a woman, what kind of man are you in the first place?

How important is it to have a partner who challenges you?
Keep me mentally stimulated and feed my thirst for knowledge, but do not try to do underhanded shit to challenge my prowess because you think I should fit a certain role. You will get degraded, hu

damn cut off, but yeah you get my point.

and i like women anyway. men are just good friends.

Thanks everyone for you responses.