How bad is this synastry

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gee_jayne
@gee_jayne
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 10 · Topics: 3
Oppositions:
Saturn/Mars, Mars/Mercury, Jupiter/Jupiter, Moon/Uranus and MC/Pluto

Sextiles:
Venus/Neptune, Sun/NN, Jupiter/Uranus

Trine:
Ascendant/NN, Saturn/Mercury, Mars/Mars

Squares:
Venus/Saturn, Mercury/Venus, Sun/MC, Pluto/Mercury, Mars/Moon, Ascendant/Ascendant

Conjunctions:
Ascendant/Venus, Venus/Pluto, Pluto/Moon

The composite is an even bigger disaster. We have 11 squares (one Mars/Saturn and another Venus/Saturn), 4 oppositions (includes Venus/Mars and Saturn/Ascendant), 3 conjuncts (one Saturn/Neptune), 6 trines and 4 sextiles.

I'm not sure how much my natal Venus square Pluto affects everything. Interpretations says I manipulate in relationships. I'm very good at drawing someone in, then when I do, forever question whether we're meant to be or if it's real. I will blow hot and cold because I'm unsure. I'm cynical about marriage, especially because of infidelity (not on my part). I'm the type to ask "why" to a proposal. I really feel unlovable and as if I'm tricking someone in loving me. And then I'll criticize myself for being so narcissistic to even think that and it's just a cycle.

Please help! What's your take on our synastry (and maybe composite)?