Venus conjunct pluto in synastry

I am venus leo, and his pluto(virgo)conjuct my venus. I am going through a painful attraction towards him.
His pluto conjuct my pluto, and his sun conjunct my pluto, and his mars conjuct my sun.
I have never experienced this before. I feel like fish without water if I don't see him.
I have done some research, and I have read that pluto transforms venus. This is scary, because since I saw him I grew into him. He looks very scruffy and mysterious not my type of guy, but I was mesmerized by him.
I don't know how I started to look better. I lost weight. I start listening to music. I changed my style. I can see admiration in his eyes and 2 years have been bitter and sweet. I have gone back to school to impress him with my activities.
Can somebody tell me is this obsession only on my side. I know he is into me I don't know how intense his feelings are.
If he is not interested then my venus in leo will kick in, and I will try to walk away...
I thought the attraction is coming from his venus in scorpio and my venus leo, but this pluto thing is scary...
Please someone explain..how does pluto feel in this situation, and what does transformation mean..

I thinkPluto with an aspect to any of your personal planets can trigger intense attraction or obsession. I am in a long term relationship, and recently got a new job. I work with a guy who has his Pluto square my moon, and it's been a really hard thing for me to deal with. There's a mutual attraction there, but neither one if us available.

I've read that in these situations, the Pluto person has the upper hand, calls the shots, so to speak. I have never experienced this kind of attraction before, even with my current guy (and we have a very strong connection between us). I've read that pluto/moon connections are so strong that they can be responsible for people leaving otherwise happy marriages when they wouldn't ordinarily even consider it. From what I'm experiencing, I can see why.

I feel for you!

Venus/Pluto aspects are a real killer. Obesessional. Addictive. Painful. It is said to bring growth but I just can't see anything positive about it. I've been struggling for a long time now...

It's like I can't even let go. I curl up and cry even if I decide that, or he comes looking for me, and we are back to square one with pulling and pushing, chasing and all that. This is gonna kill me. Some body save me please...

Posted by nazasif
It's like I can't even let go. I curl up and cry even if I decide that, or he comes looking for me, and we are back to square one with pulling and pushing, chasing and all that. This is gonna kill me. Some body save me please...

How long have you been living this? It's been way too long for me but I just can't let go in my head.

Posted by nazasif
I am venus leo, and his pluto(virgo)conjuct my venus. I am going through a painful attraction towards him.
His pluto conjuct my pluto, and his sun conjunct my pluto, and his mars conjuct my sun.
I have never experienced this before. I feel like fish without water if I don't see him.
I have done some research, and I have read that pluto transforms venus. This is scary, because since I saw him I grew into him. He looks very scruffy and mysterious not my type of guy, but I was mesmerized by him.
I don't know how I started to look better. I lost weight. I start listening to music. I changed my style. I can see admiration in his eyes and 2 years have been bitter and sweet. I have gone back to school to impress him with my activities.
Can somebody tell me is this obsession only on my side. I know he is into me I don't know how intense his feelings are.
If he is not interested then my venus in leo will kick in, and I will try to walk away...
I thought the attraction is coming from his venus in scorpio and my venus leo, but this pluto thing is scary...
Please someone explain..how does pluto feel in this situation, and what does transformation mean..

Sooo... what's the problem?

Is he married?

Posted by starlover

Posted by SpiceNSugar
Venus/Pluto aspects are a real killer. Obesessional. Addictive. Painful. It is said to bring growth but I just can't see anything positive about it. I've been struggling for a long time now...

True

I think it has the ability to almost destroy a person..is there any need to go to those lengths to learn and heal, i wonder? Maybe once bitten, twice shy is a good philosophy to have

click to expand

In many way, I feel destroyed by this experience. Twice shy?! Let's try a hundred times shy! 😛

Related question: how long till the destruction?

Our Venus squares Pluto, Pluto opposes Moon synastry is still going strong!

Posted by starlover
True

I think it has the ability to almost destroy a person..
is there any need to go to those lengths to learn and heal, i wonder? Maybe once bitten, twice shy is a good philosophy to have

I don't think so, no.

Anyway

Venus and Pluto... is this not the story of the woman who was,

quite literally, dragged to Hell?

Heh... one of her own construction, in some cases.

Having the aspect natally, myself... I've had more than one

relationship with Venus/Pluto in synastry-- its effects may

be highly individual, considering ones own nature (and weaknesses).

Some of us just need to learn that we aren't always going to get

Our Own Way-- and no amount of crying or tantrum-throwing is going

to change that-- no matter HOW generous the Universe may have been

to us in the past (and continues to be in the Present).

I was talking to an Astrologer not too long ago, and she pointed to

the natal conj in my chart and said, "You already know about this...

right?"

I said something like 'I think so?' lolol

She said much of it (the dynamic) is Immaturity-- like Illa-lupus

said in another thread: Obsession is NOT love.

Always good to see you, Starlover. 🙂