Mama's boys (sigh)

On 1 hand, I can respect all day a man who deeply respects & appreciates his mother. I think it's awesome when a man has a good relationship with his mother, b/c it most of the time depicts how he treats other women that mean alot to him.

I used to like even more the men who were self-proclaimed "mama's boys." I was naive in thinking that just b/c they were close to their mothers, that they must've understood us women and/or know what it takes to treat a lady the right way.

HOWEVER...Some men who give themselves titles as "mama's boys" mess it up for everybody! 1 guy told me, "My mother will always come 1st," & at 1st I was thinking, hey that's awesome! It shows he really respects his mother. BUTtttt over time & as I got to know him, I realized that he meant that literally! His mother made all of his financial, emotional, & relationship decisions. She had wayyyyy too much of an influence in his personal life. His mother didn't know her place, therefore whenever we'd argue, she'd be the 1st 1 getting in the middle of it. THAT's when I realized, there's a difference b/w a man who truly loves his mother vs. a "mama's boy."

-I can't deal with a man that still has his mother doing his laundry, paying his bills and/or cooking for him.
-I can't deal with a man who has to call his mother every time him & I hit a rough patch in the relationship.
-I can't deal with a man who needs his mother's approval for every single thing he does.
-I can't deal with a man whose mother feels the need to conveinantly "stop by" every day (just to be nosy)
-I can't deal with a man who is so attached to his primary family that he can't even fulfill his duties and/or be the head of household by the time he's ready to start his own family!
-HA! A friend of mine's has a fiance whose mother rearranged all of the furniture in their house!

Obviously a man's mother should always be the #1 lady in his life. She birthed him for goodness sakes! BUT, there comes a point when a man has to be ready to cut the umbilical cord. Even more important, I need a man whose mother will allow her son to be a man & make his own decisions. I don't ever want to feel like I'm competing with his mother, nor do I ever want a man's mother to use their close relationship as an excuse for why she's jealous and/or can't handle her son loving any other woman other than her!

Now when I hear the term, "Mama's boy," I'm not so quick to get excited. Is it just me...or

I have always considered myself a momma's boy. I actually call my mom, momma. Thankfully though, she taught me and my brothers independence. My family is there for each other if needed but we have (and are individually in control of) our own lives.

Posted by krysrenee7

-I can't deal with a man that still has his mother doing his laundry, paying his bills and/or cooking for him.
-I can't deal with a man who has to call his mother every time him & I hit a rough patch in the relationship.
-I can't deal with a man who needs his mother's approval for every single thing he does.
-I can't deal with a man whose mother feels the need to conveinantly "stop by" every day (just to be nosy)
-I can't deal with a man who is so attached to his primary family that he can't even fulfill his duties and/or be the head of household by the time he's ready to start his own family!
-HA! A friend of mine's has a fiance whose mother rearranged all of the furniture in their house!

Damn! I'd make fun of that guy too. Part of being a man is taking care of your own responsibilities not passing everything off to mommy. Haha.

Hey, like I said, there is a HUGE difference b/w a man who merely loves his momma VS. a "mama's boy."

I assume that most men love their mothers. Simply loving your mother is not what I'd consider a "mama's boy." When I think of mama's boys, I think extreme. I think of the men who attached to their mothers in an unhealthy way, so much so that it negatively affects all other relationships they have with other women. That's not a good thing.

The price for loving your mother shouldn't be that every other woman in your life has to suffer and/or compete with your mama. If it even gets to the point where the wife/girlfriend feels the need to compete (or vice versa) something has gone terribly wrong!

A man can AND should love his mama all day long, BUT there is unhealthy love/attachment even b/w a parent & their child. Just b/c the unhealthy attachment is b/w mother & son doesn't mean that it's not as unhealthy vs. persay it was unhealthy b/w a wife & husband. Any time 1 relationship becomes toxic to other outside relationships, that's a problem. And to me, I consider "mama's boys" to NOT be a good thing.

Once again, there is a difference b/w a man who simply loves his mama vs. a mama's boy. Hell, we all go into every relationship assuming (hoping) that every man loves his mama. That should be a given. The only reason they're even such thing as a "mama's boy" term is b/c that term represents sort of an EXTRA (sometimes unnecessary) attachment.

What kills me is that some mama's boys convince themselves that if they're emotionally/financially dependent on their mothers that they are somehow betraying and/or abandoning their mothers.

It's already bad enough to see a man looking for a replacement for his mother. It's even WORSE when the mama enables/encourages that! That's very manipulative b/c of course that's a battle no other woman will ever win!

Posted by krysrenee7

Once again, there is a difference b/w a man who simply loves his mama vs. a mama's boy. Hell, we all go into every relationship assuming (hoping) that every man loves his mama. That should be a given. The only reason they're even such thing as a "mama's boy" term is b/c that term represents sort of an EXTRA (sometimes unnecessary) attachment.

I hadn't looked at it like this before. I took mamma's boy as good and said the ones who were weird with it were just extremes. I guess the extremes could be why they came up with the term to begin with...

I guess I adopted the term momma's boy after my friends started calling me that in high school. It was one of those teasing names that stuck. I got it because I got into some nasty fights with people talking about my mom, haha. I know it's immature but it was high school, what can I say. My mother is very important to me but it is my life and both of us prefer that I am in charge of it.

Posted by LibraSid

Posted by krysrenee7

Once again, there is a difference b/w a man who simply loves his mama vs. a mama's boy. Hell, we all go into every relationship assuming (hoping) that every man loves his mama. That should be a given. The only reason they're even such thing as a "mama's boy" term is b/c that term represents sort of an EXTRA (sometimes unnecessary) attachment.

I hadn't looked at it like this before. I took mamma's boy as good and said the ones who were weird with it were just extremes. I guess the extremes could be why they came up with the term to begin with...
.

click to expand

Yeah that's how I took it. They came up with the term "mama's boy" to coin the men who go to the extreme. But I guess it all depends on perception.

I can def. appreciate a man who loves his mama. Hell, if anything I'm a little leary of dating any man who has a horrible relationship with his mother; doesn't necessarily mean that he'll treat me like crap, but if a man's relationship with the woman who birthed him is messed up, there's def. a HUGE chance that he's been affected by that somehow and/or that his attitude towards women probably isn't as healthy/good as it would've been persay he had a great relationship with his mother.

It's just the men who take it to the extremes that I can't handle.

My brother is a momma's boy. It's kind of cute, actually. He goes to our mother when he's having problems (or had problems) with girls, or now with his wife (not extreme ones, just typical stuff); he also goes to her when he needs advice. While he is in the military and very much starting his own family, I'm sure he always has this urge to come back home and be close. He isn't a momma's boy in that he is weak and relies on her; he just respects and loves her much; he also didn't grow up with his father around, so he is even more attached to our mother.

Yea my Aqua brother is a total mamas boy. Calls her everyday without fail, discusses all his issues with her. She was never the type to clean for him and all that stuff, so he's independent and all. He just really loves his mama.

Posted by MsPisces.
Yea my Aqua brother is a total mamas boy. Calls her everyday without fail, discusses all his issues with her. She was never the type to clean for him and all that stuff, so he's independent and all. He just really loves his mama.

This is pretty much how I am too. Back in the day my mom used to run down to the sidelines during games yelling "That's my son! That's my son!" and giving high fives to me and my teammates after I did something crazy in-game. All the while my dad would be sitting in the stands shaking his head in embarrassment. My mom is my biggest fan and I'm hers.

Posted by deb963
I feel its good to some extent to be a momma boy.. If hes a mommas boy and loves his mom and treats her with respect and love.. They will treat their girlfriends with that respect or wife etc.. oh thats what my momma told me in looking for a guy..Mommas knows best...🙂 So your rite krysrenee7.. Wise moms..🙂

This exactly. My brother really knows how to treat women well, like extremely well. He may be stubborn (he's a taurus), but he's such a gentleman and good-hearted guy in general.