Sex bans?!

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by libra sun on Sunday, December 5, 2010 and has 30 replies.

Profile picture of libra sun
@libra sun
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

I've never understood why people put these on their partner. One of my friends has banned her boyfriend from sex for a month because he hasnt been paying her enough attention, im sure not sleeping with him will get her even less attention! I have always found it to be an odd punishment, because isnt she punishing herself too?? I understand that maybe if your really annoyed removes some extra's lol but a full ban?!

The only time I could see me doing this is if I had forgiven my partner for cheating on me (which I probably wouldnt ever do) Then It wouldnt quite be a ban but me holding off on the physical side while we sorted out the emotional side, but other then that I really dont get it.

Profile picture of Shadows
@Shadows
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Yeah...I really think that's just going to make an already bad situation worse.

On the flip side, my friends wife barely has sex with him anymore and won't do a lot of things (sexually) that she used to do before they got married. I suggested he hold back on fulfilling her emotional needs until she understands that his sexual needs are just as important. 😄

Profile picture of curious visitor
@curious visitor
16 Years500+ PostsLibra

it's not my thing, but apparently "withholding" is very effective with some men. they're the same ones who need to be "forced" to "respect" a woman, ones with virgin-whore complexes who think there are good girls and bad girls, and the only women worth loving are the ones who hate sex and only let you have it if you kiss their asses.

unfortunately, that's most of the men who like relationships in the first place. the ones it doesn't work on usually are selfish assholes who treat all women like garbage.

so it seems like it's a win-win. either he'll do what she wants, or he'll cheat/leave her, and she'll be rid of one of the bad ones.

i don't like to play games, but then i also only seem to get jerks.

Profile picture of Dianasart
@Dianasart
16 Years500+ PostsSagittarius

haha here I was planning to do sex surprises for a future partner lol like on a random day just saying "hey baby let's have sex" "now?" "yes now!" "but I was going to watch this movie and it's about to start" "fine I'll just sit here all naked and sad while you watch your damn movie." haha I was just imagining it like that... 😆

But how would I punish my lover if he ever crossed a line..?... hmmm I can't think of anything. I'd probably make him feel guilty and give him the nasty eye -.o

Profile picture of soap
@soap
15 Years1,000+ Posts

sex is also A great workout! plus it feels amazing! who wouldnt want too have sex....

im just say! its a win-win for everyone 😉

plus if that happened too me..... which I dont see why that would be. lol. I'd say see yea later!

Profile picture of ReallyNiceAriesPerson
@ReallyNiceAriesPerson
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by curious visitor
it's not my thing, but apparently "withholding" is very effective with some men. they're the same ones who need to be "forced" to "respect" a woman, ones with virgin-whore complexes who think there are good girls and bad girls, and the only women worth loving are the ones who hate sex and only let you have it if you kiss their asses.

unfortunately, that's most of the men who like relationships in the first place. the ones it doesn't work on usually are selfish assholes who treat all women like garbage.

so it seems like it's a win-win. either he'll do what she wants, or he'll cheat/leave her, and she'll be rid of one of the bad ones.

i don't like to play games, but then i also only seem to get jerks.

Hear Hear Curious Visitor... you would think that SOMEWHERE out there, there is still a couple of great guys left who would like to be married to a chick who loves sex and is not into stupid game playing b/s.

A couple? One guy? Anyone...

Profile picture of lildol
@lildol
16 Years5,000+ Posts

And there are clearly chicks who would like to be married, love sex and aren't about playing games... of course, they spend their time on DXP a lot LOL

Profile picture of lildol
@lildol
16 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by soap
sex is a must! 5 times a day minimum 😉

Really? And where do you find the time?

5x per day would be great, but who has 5 hours (or even 2.5) to waste on sex... OR would it only be like 5 min total— I might have 5 min to spare 😄

Profile picture of MsPisces.
@MsPisces.
16 Years1,000+ Posts

Eh, it must be effective if she's doing it. She wants something, he wants something. If she doesn't get what she wants, he doesn't get what he wants! Whatever works for them.

Profile picture of candyapples88
@candyapples88
15 Years

I won't have sex with my man if I'm mad at him. When I'm mad I'm not in the mood and the last thing I want is for him to touch me.

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@enfant_terrible
17 Years10,000+ PostsLeo

Posted by libra sun
One of my friends has banned her boyfriend from sex for a month because he hasnt been paying her enough attention, im sure not sleeping with him will get her even less attention!

Wow are you for real? That is so humiliating, how can he even go back to having sex with her when she obviousely doesn't enjoy it, otherwise she wouldn't ban it. If my gf did that I'd just get myself a dish on the side...

- Where were you?
- I was just out having sex. Good night.

Profile picture of i love ewe
@i love ewe
18 Years1,000+ PostsAries

thats kinda stupid. i understand being mad for a day or 2 and not wanting have sex but purposly forcing yourself to drag this situation out for an entire month is unnecessary. the dude probably doesn't even know that she's mad either. i bet she never told him "im not getting enough attention" because she's hoping that he'll figure it out on his own, but she knows what he will figure out first is that she isn't having sex with him, forcing him to ask "why won't you have sex with me" so she can FINALLY say (and not have to be the person initiating the conversation) "because i don't get enough attention".

couples with poor communication skills such as this never stay together. these kind of sex bans don't make sense to rational people 🙂

Profile picture of USCTaurusGal
@USCTaurusGal
18 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Amandus
Men "cheat" because of this.

Yes, Jason, they do. Some men will cheat for any reason, so in this respect it's like giving them a reason (not that I'm condoning, just saying...). Anyway, I never understood that; even if I was mad, I would have sex with my ex-fiance, but then I would go back to being mad 🙂 not that it happened much, but I'm like, "I got needs, so let's do the damn thing, then I'm done with you." Men like to be used *tee hee *
@ Soap - 5x's a day! Yawzaaaaaaaaa...now THAT'S something, and I am NOT mad atcha'. I wouldn't go so far as to say 5x's a day, but I would be very, very happy with 5x's a week (or slightly more) 😉

Profile picture of libra sun
@libra sun
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

Posted by QLIbraMale
she'd be better of taking his tv away instead sex. that like tell him we ain't fucking "Cloud of smoke" (Zooom) go look elsewhere. He took of in the middle of her high n mighty speech lol.

lol my ex would have been more upset if I hid his PS3 then removed sex!

Profile picture of i love ewe
@i love ewe
18 Years1,000+ PostsAries

Posted by QLIbraMale
she'd be better of taking his tv away instead sex. that like tell him we ain't fucking "Cloud of smoke" (Zooom) go look elsewhere. He took of in the middle of her high n mighty speech lol.

lol when my ex aries and i broke up, i took his remote control with me on the way out because i knew he would go insane looking for it

Profile picture of soap
@soap
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by lildol

Posted by soap
sex is a must! 5 times a day minimum 😉

Really? And where do you find the time?

5x per day would be great, but who has 5 hours (or even 2.5) to waste on sex... OR would it only be like 5 min total— I might have 5 min to spare 😄

click to expand

LOL, not all of them last for an hour.....aries remember were quick 10mins. then you take an hour like a the night one when you are home

Profile picture of Dianasart
@Dianasart
16 Years500+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by lildol

Posted by soap
sex is a must! 5 times a day minimum 😉

Really? And where do you find the time?

5x per day would be great, but who has 5 hours (or even 2.5) to waste on sex... OR would it only be like 5 min total— I might have 5 min to spare 😄

click to expand

oohhhh 5 times a day? doesn't sound so bad. I'd probably put effort to make time haha every lunch break he'll have to come over, one in the morning, one after work, that's 3 so far. One after dinner (desert) and one before bed. There. 5. Imagine days off!

Profile picture of Dianasart
@Dianasart
16 Years500+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by i love ewe

Posted by QLIbraMale
she'd be better of taking his tv away instead sex. that like tell him we ain't fucking "Cloud of smoke" (Zooom) go look elsewhere. He took of in the middle of her high n mighty speech lol.

lol when my ex aries and i broke up, i took his remote control with me on the way out because i knew he would go insane looking for it

click to expand

wow that is TOO funny!!!! Wayyyy too funny!!! I love it!

Profile picture of Dianasart
@Dianasart
16 Years500+ PostsSagittarius

Now, when I'm mad, I'm MAD. Don't come near me, don't look at me, don't touch me. Next day, when all is forgiven (being a Sag I can't stay mad), I'll tease. I'll tease like there's no tomorrow! That's how I'll torture him. But only for an hour or so. And then we can have fun 😉

Profile picture of Itsme
@Itsme
15 YearsLeo

Nope. Why punish myself— I don't understand this mentality, I would rather have angry sex than no sex. There are other ways to make a man know you are ticked at him.

Profile picture of Shadows
@Shadows
15 Years1,000+ Posts

I don't get how every man I know constantly complains...and is very cranky...about not getting any from his wife (or girlfriend...depending on the man), yet it seems like every woman here would have sex many, many times a week.

Profile picture of libra sun
@libra sun
16 Years1,000+ PostsLibra

Posted by Shadows
I don't get how every man I know constantly complains...and is very cranky...about not getting any from his wife (or girlfriend...depending on the man), yet it seems like every woman here would have sex many, many times a week.

Yeah I have never understood this, I was contemplating making a thread to see if married women really dont have/want sex! I can honestly say I have never had a "hecadache" when my partner has been in the mood lol.

Me and my ex used to have sex many times a day, he was the one who couldnt keep up! lol

Profile picture of i love ewe
@i love ewe
18 Years1,000+ PostsAries

Posted by Shadows
I don't get how every man I know constantly complains...and is very cranky...about not getting any from his wife (or girlfriend...depending on the man), yet it seems like every woman here would have sex many, many times a week.

i get it. when i was in college i was down for the sex 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every single day! all i had to do was do to class, study and occasionally go to the gym. i went out during the week and didnt have to worry about waking up deathly early, and even when i did i didn't have to be at my best (going to class hungover isn't that bad). now, most of us work everyday for at least 40 hours a week and the thought of being drunk on a tuesday is tiresome. i get home after work and all i want to do it sit on my ass for a while, maybe make dinner and go for a run. when all of that is done it's like 9:00 or 10:00pm so i get in the shower and want to pass out.

the likely solution to the problem is to have sex earlier right? well, not so much. im effing starving after work cause 9 times out of 10 i worked through lunch. and it doesn't matter how fantastic the sex is, sitting on my ass after work feels 5426891506342785647810 times better lol. im sure it's also a lot more complicated when you throw 3 children into the mix and everybody had to get picked up and dropped off at school, soccer practice, piano lessons, etc etc etc.

Profile picture of Dianasart
@Dianasart
16 Years500+ PostsSagittarius

Posted by i love ewe

Posted by Shadows
I don't get how every man I know constantly complains...and is very cranky...about not getting any from his wife (or girlfriend...depending on the man), yet it seems like every woman here would have sex many, many times a week.

i get it. when i was in college i was down for the sex 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, every single day! all i had to do was do to class, study and occasionally go to the gym. i went out during the week and didnt have to worry about waking up deathly early, and even when i did i didn't have to be at my best (going to class hungover isn't that bad). now, most of us work everyday for at least 40 hours a week and the thought of being drunk on a tuesday is tiresome. i get home after work and all i want to do it sit on my ass for a while, maybe make dinner and go for a run. when all of that is done it's like 9:00 or 10:00pm so i get in the shower and want to pass out.

the likely solution to the problem is to have sex earlier right? well, not so much. im effing starving after work cause 9 times out of 10 i worked through lunch. and it doesn't matter how fantastic the sex is, sitting on my ass after work feels 5426891506342785647810 times better lol. im sure it's also a lot more complicated when you throw 3 children into the mix and everybody had to get picked up and dropped off at school, soccer practice, piano lessons, etc etc etc.

click to expand

*_* sounds painful! Yikes!

I tend to be slightly selfish and pamper myself every chance I get so I see myself planning everything out. But then again... Even with one kid alone... clean, cook, work, run around from here to there... My SO better get his ass off the sofa and help with all that shit because I'll beat him if he doesn't!
I think about it though... A man, after work, after cooking, cleaning, picking/dropping kids, shopping,... would he be up for sex at the end of the day or be just as tired out like the woman? Women seam to have two full time jobs! If the man doesn't help out it's going to be hell!

Profile picture of ReallyNiceAriesPerson
@ReallyNiceAriesPerson
15 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by lildol
And there are clearly chicks who would like to be married, love sex and aren't about playing games... of course, they spend their time on DXP a lot LOL

*larfin with lildol*

believe me - would much rather be home treetrunking hot non-game playing chap than where I am now!!