Sleeping in separate rooms? Wth

This married couple that recently appeared on the Dr. Phil's show stated that their decision to sleep in separate rooms has really HELPED their relationship. (They've been married for 7 years)

They claim that they still experience intimacy/sex/cuddling even though they sleep in separate rooms.

When asked WHY they sleep in separate rooms, the lady claimed they did this b/c her husband snores really loud. The husband says his wife has to get up for work 5 hours earlier than he has to, so he's actually relieved to sleep in a separate room b/c he doesn't have to worry about being woken up too early.

The couple said they have their cuddling/sex time right before bed, but before they fall asleep, they both go into separate rooms. They claim their sleep at night is much better & less interupted.

Dr. Phil was a little uncomfortable giving advice on this subject b/c he couldn't necessarily argue with the fact that the couple claimed to be at the happiest peak in their relationship. It would've been 1 thing had they been sleeping in separate rooms b/c they were having issues or if their relationship was in trouble, but nope, the couple seemed to be perfectly happy & didn't state any kind of dysfunction or disagreement for the reason they made the choice to sleep separately

I'm just curious to know what you guys think of this. Dr. Phil was right, there are always new couples coming out with their own "hidden tricks" for how they keep their relationship afloat, & even though their ideas kind of defy tradition & the way things are done the old-fashioned way, we can't really argue with diff. techniques that appear to actually work for alot of couples.

After the show, he polled 10,000 people & asked them what they felt sleeping in separate rooms could actually help a relationship. To Dr. Phil's AND my surprise, 46% of people said they've tried it too & that it worked!

I want to sleep with my man. For me, it increases intimacy. If he snores, go have him checked for sleep apnea. I mean I guess it could work for some people, but not for me.

I just had this conversation with a friend of mine a few days ago. I am pro separate bedrooms and bathrooms. I think that if two people are secure in their relationship and realistic about sleeping expectations, then it can work. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be intimate with that other person or not loving them.

I'm not going to lie, I think I would be okay sleeping in separate rooms. I like my space (like physically) and I have sleeping issues already. I wouldn't want to bother my partner just because I have a sleeping disorder and he probably doesn't. If I want to sleep with my partner, I'll be okay going to his room or he coming to mine, and then if I want, I'd just get up and go. As long as he was okay and we found out that it worked, I think it could be nice. I mean, we'd still be with each other most of the time; I think it's okay to not be with each other while we sleep.

Posted by Candeh15
I'm not going to lie, I think I would be okay sleeping in separate rooms. I like my space (like physically) and I have sleeping issues already. I wouldn't want to bother my partner just because I have a sleeping disorder and he probably doesn't. If I want to sleep with my partner, I'll be okay going to his room or he coming to mine, and then if I want, I'd just get up and go. As long as he was okay and we found out that it worked, I think it could be nice. I mean, we'd still be with each other most of the time; I think it's okay to not be with each other while we sleep.

Sounds like an adventure. Might make you feel like teenagers again having to sneak into your wife's room. Throwing rocks at your window to get your attention.

Posted by GeorgiaPeach
I think that if two people are secure in their relationship and realistic about sleeping expectations, then it can work. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be intimate with that other person or not loving them.

Very good point! I think this is the point the couple on the Dr. Phil show was trying to make.

When people 1st heard this, their 1st instinct was to think that their decision was made b/c of some negative issue in their relationship. Welp, it wasn't. They didn't once site intimacy problems as their reasonings for why they made that decision.

When I 1st heard this, I was like helllll no! My 1st thought was that something must be terribly wrong with the relationship and/or atleast the intimacy in their relationship. BUT, as I got to thinking, the whole separate rooms thing doesn't sound so bad.

Although bedroom/nightime intimacy is very important to the relationship (after all, there IS a reason couples in love live together and/or sleep in the same bed), I also think that if a couple is really right for eachother, they'll find other ways to be intimate or experience that intimacy other hours throughout the day. Same thing goes for the couples who live separately. They might cuddle & kiss all day long, but at the end of the night, they go to their separate apartments/homes & yet their relationship is fine!

I agree with Candeh15 and GeorgiaPeach. Although my hubby and I don't have "his" and "hers" bedrooms per se, (he would never go for that and I don't want that either), we have five bedrooms in our house. Now, we share the master bedroom, but we married later in life and had our own homes. I kept my bedroom furniture and that's the room I sleep in when his snoring is too much. Or, sometimes I am restless and may want to read or something. I also get up a few hours before my hubby, and although he gets up to have coffee and see me off to work, I don't want to disturb him when I get up.

I wouldn't like it. I am too cuddly for that. I enjoy holding my partner while we sleep. It could make for some fun, sneaking into each other rooms and stuff but long term, no thanks. If he snores so bad why not get him those "breath right" strips or the mouth guard aligner thing that is supposed to help with that.

Sidenote, I've been told I snore but know it isn't true. I stayed up listening one night and didn't hear a sound.

Not for me, I want an arm round me and midnight fooling around. Or morning. Can't snuggle in with a man if he's a hallway away. Well, you can, but it's much easier to just wriggle back a bit.

Separate bedrooms is my dream come true.

It takes many pills for me to fall asleep and anything and everything wakes me up. I think its a great idea for many reasons. The only possible downfall I see is if the couple is fighting and because they have their separate spots they don't feel the need to work out the issue quite as fast.

"The only possible downfall I see is if the couple is fighting and because they have their separate spots they don't feel the need to work out the issue quite as fast."

Good point, Shadows. Very true and very real issue.

Thanks, PF! 🙂