The problem with dating older

The problem with dating up, especially at my age, is that we're never in the same place exactly. I could mesh well with someone who is 25 because we're still at the same maturity level and fun-loving young adults, but when one has already finished college and is now seeking his reigns in the real world, compared to one who still has a couple more years to go, yeah, things aren't always going to go down. I don't necessarily date guys my own age, only because I have yet to find one that seems to think on the same wavelength as myself. They are good for fun, though. Woe is me 😛

I think this is the difference b/w some women & some men. Whereas women are looking for something that symbolizes "maturity" & long-term stability (older men), alot of men seek the opposite; they seek anything that appears to remain "youthful" like younger women.

It's rare for me too that I find a man my age whom I generally feel a deep connection with. People say that it's b/c women mature faster than women, BUT even still, I think some women are naturally conditioned to look for someone they can almost in a way look up to, even technically if a man her age is offering the very SAME things an older man is offering.

I don't prefer to date much older men either though. Don't get me wrong, I want a man who is on the SAME level as me, if not even higher. BUT, if I always am a big fan of experiencing a lot of "firsts" with someone. And it's easier to experience those "firsts" with younger men vs. older men who have already been there & done that.

(Example): It's kind of silly for a woman who has no degree, no car or her own place to want a man who already has his PH.D, has a Benz & has a huge house. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone who already has it made, BUT I always try to look at it from the other person's point of view. When I'm 40, I won't be checking out the 20-25 year old males. When I'm 40, I'd want someone who has & wants the same things as me.

Plus, I would hate to date a much older man b/c of that constant fear that he'd hold it over my head if he had way more than me. I want to be with a man young BUT mature enough that we can experience buying our 1st house together. Or having our 1st child together....all things that older men have BEEN through already. Older men don't necessarily feel the same excitement that younger men do about certain things (marriage, kids, buying homes, etc.)

While yes, it'd be great to find a man whose on the same level as me, I don't think anyone should go from 1 extreme to the other. You shouldn't have to date someone DRASTICALLY younger OR drastically older than you just to find what you want. It's possible & isn't necessarily a BAD thing. BUT to purposely & intentionally set out to seek someone who either has MORE than you or LESS than you is not right.

I find that the men who are NO older than 4-5 years from me are usually the perfect match. 4-5 years younger than me? Nope, won't work. 10 years older than me? Nope, they're too far ahead of me

I don't know. I've 'sort-of' dated older. I wouldn't call it dating, just getting to know eachother. And there's a big different. Guys my age, sure, they can be show off-y, or be more interested in getting more ass then developing an actual relationship, but all that unbalanced part keeps me waiting you know. Like, at my age SHOULD I really worry about serious, commited relationships? What's the fun in that? Having good male friends is allot better. Plus when it's someone your own age, or close, it makes relating easier. Like, if I date someone from class, we're both focused on grades, joining fun clubs, friends, you just feel more confident and comfortable, it's my place. But if I date someone older, who has a job, who has friends HIS age, who has a whole different kind of social life and point of view, and being older you tend to look for guidence from them and well... I prefer more of an equal level... It just makes things awkward, even if you both have the same intentions, understand eachother, have that special connection, it takes more effort and work. And if it's a man older than you and for some reason in your level in life or lower then... Idk, that seems weird.
It also depends on what you want. Like, when you're with an older man and at a point in your life when you want kids but he doesn't because of his age, or he's already had a few and doesn't want the role of a father, whatever it is... OR HE wants kids but you feel too young. Casual dating, with no intentions for long term from either side, no biggy. But long term, marriage, it all depends on what you both want.
Same for dating younger guys. I've never dated younger but if it were only a few year different and we wanted the same things at that time then great, I wouldn't mind. A few years older, a few years younger, no biggy.

Posted by VitasXisto

Posted by Candeh15
The problem with dating up, especially at my age, is that we're never in the same place exactly. I could mesh well with someone who is 25 because we're still at the same maturity level and fun-loving young adults, but when one has already finished college and is now seeking his reigns in the real world, compared to one who still has a couple more years to go, yeah, things aren't always going to go down. I don't necessarily date guys my own age, only because I have yet to find one that seems to think on the same wavelength as myself. They are good for fun, though. Woe is me 😛

I seem to attract younger bitches, which I'm not attracted to. I've always into older women, mature and confident females, however they only see me as a fling, it's probably the beard and muscles lol. Anyways there are successful people within your age group, their simply highly discriminating and honestly they have the right to, many ignorant youngsters don't know shit about diligence ethic or discipline.

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Maybe because you look like a hotty and look like someone who has a fun, hip social life lol the cool guy look, that's how I see it from your picture.

Not to sound like a complete B! But there is nothing MORE ANNOYING than to walk down the street & to notice some old man gawking at me!

I know men & women are different in many areas, BUT I don't have a choice but to look at things from MY point of view b/c I'll always & ONLY be a woman for the rest of my life. And as a woman, I know that when I'm 65+ I won't be looking in the same direction as any man more than 10 years younger than me! For what? So what, they might be attractive; there's nothing wrong with recognizing & acknowledging beauty (& this applies no matter HOW old you are), BUT actually acting on it, knowing good & well that the chances of me & a guy 30 years younger than me would actually be on the same level is slim to NONE, I'd simply stare & keep it moving. That's about ALL a younger man will get from me when I get to a certain age.

If I'm in my 50's or 60's, yeah I might notice that the 29 year old walking down the street is attractive. BUT, I wouldn't knock that 29 yr old man either if he thought it was quite tacky to date someone almost twice his age either.

That's the problem with youngins & their relationships now. People are so absorbed with going strictly off looks. They don't even take into account what that person might be like on the INSIDE. So what if I'm 50 & I see a sexy 25 year old?! So what! He may be sexy BUT if he's immature, isn't on the same level as me and/or isn't where I am in life, then looking is about ALL I'll do. Simply being sexy doesn't cut it! Simply being sexy or simply being "young" isn't enough!

You're not supposed to have relationships with that person's physical appearance. You're supposed to have relationships with who that person IS on the inside. So young or old, if that man isn't where I feel he should be OR where I am in life, then we have nothing to discuss. I'll look & might even compliment that man, BUT actually pursuing a relationship with him would be silly!

Posted by DyTryin

My Scorpio is 9 years younger than me - and that's about my age difference limit. Plus, she looks about 15 years younger than her actual age, so it really appears to others that I'm robbing the cradle...

Nah. You just make other guys your age jealous.

Dy, she sounds really hot.

I keep my older limit to women born all the way to 1968ish. Any woman who looks extraordinarily good for her age ala Demi Moore whose birthdate is older than that year is an exception.

But in my city attractive women in their mid-40's are rare unlike it being common in places like LA. I could never date a woman my mom's age seriously. That feels way too weird and creepy. A one night stand and FWB is fine if she looks great for her age. But not a relationship.

Not saying that Im anybody special either. Its just I try to take care of myself and would like to enjoy someone's looks for a while. Instead of only for a couple of years and they turn into something like Janice Dickinson.

Ever since high school, I've always preferred older women. They tend to be more realistic about relationships instead of viewing them through rose-colored glasses like younger women. Granted, there are some who are wedding chasers scared they're going to be too late for marriage soon.

But there are others who are independent and dont care. The other thing I love about older women is they tend not to be egomaniacs. Younger women (my experience, mind you) tend to be on huge ego trips based on their looks. Being fair, there are older women who act like complete divas ala J.Lo.

For the most part though, Ive had good experiences with older women. I would date an older elegant 36 year old any day over some fake tan, hair out of a bottle 23 year old.

Yea I just remembered that I'm an adult now and can't legely be with any boy under 18 lmaooo!!! Even if he is mature in and out. I'd have to wait before we can get seriouse if we like eachother.
My mom is very pretty for a woman her age. I have her special genes for that part so I know, and hope it true, that'll I'll look younger even when I'm older. But then again when I was in my teen years I was mistaken for older. Now I'm often mistaken for a 14 year old! So I don't wear much make up or heels, doesn't make me a little girl sheesh!
Oh yea, and a grandmother of mine, fathers side, who I also took allot after, seriously looks like a woman in her mid 30's when she's really about 50 I think. I've never met her but I've seen recent photos. I think I'm blessed in that area lol the beauty area.

My only thought on dating up

Me mate Nigal had a bad exsperance with it
He said he came home from work one day and his girl friend was sitting on the bed crying
he ask her what was wrong
She said her mum had told her that nigel was a pedophile
she ask him what his reply was
he told her that was an really big word for a 12 year old.