Need urgent advice from Sag males! Thanks :-)

So there is this Sag man I met 8 and a half years ago. We clicked from the first second, and were in a long distance relationship for about 8-9 months. He never said he loved me, but he did things that showed he was into me.
Unfortunately he found another aries girl and I was heart broken. After a year he started contacting me again, he appologyzed and even tho i was in a new relationship and he was still with that girl he kept asking to see me. Which I said no to, both cause I knew i was soooo weak for him, but mainly cause i didnt want to let him come between me and my, at the time, boyfriend.

Long story short. He breaks up with that girl. I break up with that guy.
We re single at the same time and we meet for lunch the next time i was in his area.
At this time it had been 3 years since we broke up and 2 since we started talking again.
Lunch felt like we ve been together for every single day during those years and naturally led for us spending more time together... Which led to slowdancing at the end of the night and kissing on the dancefloor. I didnt go home with him, I was to afriad to have my heart broken again. But the chemistry is so strong so i ended up at his place the next day to hang out which led to sex. Which we both, btw. have expressed is the most amazing we ve ever had... We talked about our connection and he expressed that he has not been able to stop thinking of me, but he did not express anything that had anything to do with love. He asked why i dont move to the city he lives in, but he didnt ask to move there because of him. So I never did.
We agreed that we wouldnt lable whatever it is that we feel and that we would stay in touch.

Right after he became a little unavalable. Turns out his ex was pregnant and I became pregnant with another SAG (!!!My god, lol) and we had kids the same year.

Still we stayed in touch.
He never went back in a relationship with his babys mother, and has not been in a relationship since.
I tried a serious relationship with my childs father, but he cheated on me and we broke up last year.

Me and the sag Im asking about, have stayed in touch during these past 8 something years, we cant move on. Like we dream about eachother if we havent spoken for a longer while... its crazy. So we flirt a little, but nothing heavy. We can go without speaking for a couple of months or 4. I try to let him be the first one to reach out most of the tiimes.
He has not once said or done anything hurtful since t

I try to let him be the first one to reach out most of the tiimes.
He has not once said or done anything hurtful since that time 7 years ago when he found another girl.

We ve never talked that this could be love. But back in may i had enough and wrote him asking about these things.
He says that Im awfully far away.
That he has never known a female for this long.
That there has got to be a reason why we re still in touch.
That he wouldnt stay in touch with me if he didnt want to.
And then he said if i lived near by things would have been different between us.

I found that so unfair, cause he never asked me to move, he left me and broke my heart...

So i told him to either love me or leave me alone, cause I cant deal with this no man??s land...

Of course he didnt respond to that. It went about 5 weeks, and then hhe texted me something random. I replied lightly and left it alone
Then he texted me again 4 weeks after that about another rrandom thing. This time asking how i was.
Saying he thinks its lame im not in his city during the summer... I replied that i was never invited.
Then he started talking about us meeting again this fall. Which im up for, since I just am not able to stay away when he keeps reaching out... This fall will be 5 years since the last time we saw eachother.

I feel that I ve been patient, funny, light hearted, forgiving, understanding, never demanding, honest etc.... but am I anywhere near reaching to his heart? What do I do next to make him do more?

I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this and reply. I tried keeping it short but its not easy :-)

I wouldnt waste my time.

Posted by DMV
I wouldnt waste my time.

Thanks for the reply!

I wasnt expecting something as simple:-)

Honestly i??ve tried moving on. Twice.
I??ve tried not replying to him. Not having any communication but then I end up dreaming about him, even many night on a row... so then i reach out and feel like I can breath again...
He makes me feel thing Ive never felt before for anyone. Almost like we ve been close in a previous life, like a soul connection. A strong connection. When i talked to him about it he said it made sense. He says he feel the connection also...


Ive tried so hard to "not waste time", but the sag who said he loved me and whom I gave a son, he cheated on me. It somehow makes me think that its better with someone who isnt promising and saying things he doesnt mean...

I just dont know how to move on... with or without him.

@OP:

Its put up or shut up time with this Sag. A Sag male will feed you crap about having a connection all day to string you along but until he backs it up...it means little. When we want someone, we make no bones about it and will do everything in our power to be with you...committed. I'm not saying he doesn't love or care about you. He doesn't know what he wants...you or his freedom to roam. Tell him what you want and if he doesn't step up...time to move on. It will hurt, but you have to do what's best for you.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@OP:

Its put up or shut up time with this Sag. A Sag male will feed you crap about having a connection all day to string you along but until he backs it up...it means little. When we want someone, we make no bones about it and will do everything in our power to be with you...committed. I'm not saying he doesn't love or care about you. He doesn't know what he wants...you or his freedom to roam. Tell him what you want and if he doesn't step up...time to move on. It will hurt, but you have to do what's best for you.

Truth!

Posted by AriesLeoAries

Posted by DMV
I wouldnt waste my time.

Thanks for the reply!

I wasnt expecting something as simple:-)

Honestly i??ve tried moving on. Twice.
I??ve tried not replying to him. Not having any communication but then I end up dreaming about him, even many night on a row... so then i reach out and feel like I can breath again...
He makes me feel thing Ive never felt before for anyone. Almost like we ve been close in a previous life, like a soul connection. A strong connection. When i talked to him about it he said it made sense. He says he feel the connection also...


Ive tried so hard to "not waste time", but the sag who said he loved me and whom I gave a son, he cheated on me. It somehow makes me think that its better with someone who isnt promising and saying things he doesnt mean...

I just dont know how to move on... with or without him.

click to expand

Trust when I say that I know what it feels like to long after someone and want to be with them. But your stuck with wanting to be in a relationship with someone who doesnt want to be in a relationship with you.

Time does heal all wounds. Stick to your guns. Time to put yourself first.

Like The Soul said, this guy is feeding you nothing substantial.

Posted by DMV

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@OP:

Its put up or shut up time with this Sag. A Sag male will feed you crap about having a connection all day to string you along but until he backs it up...it means little. When we want someone, we make no bones about it and will do everything in our power to be with you...committed. I'm not saying he doesn't love or care about you. He doesn't know what he wants...you or his freedom to roam. Tell him what you want and if he doesn't step up...time to move on. It will hurt, but you have to do what's best for you.

Truth!

click to expand

As only we can put it 😉

At the OP:

Here is the reason why I say this. I once faced a scenario similar to yours the only difference is we didn't have sex. The connection was there and very strong. But I wasn't ready and I knew it. To to be man she wanted. I was emotionally devastated from my last relationship. So, I told her that I couldn't be with her rather than string her along. It was only right that she be free to search for someone to give her what she wanted. She understood even though she wanted things to be different but every situation doesn't turn out that way.

Thank you both soooo much for your replies. I truly appreciate your time.

You both make sense, and I can completely agree with the fact that he might be into me, but just not THAT into me!!!


He lives in America and I live in Europe!!! this distance is whats makes it so hard for me to see clearly...... if we lived in the same city I know for a fact that we could not have stayed apart...


However, after I told him back in may to either love me or let me go, he has lately reached out to me as much as back when we were in a relationship... and has now set a date in september for when he is coming to my city to see me!!! He communicates with me daily now, which has not happened since 2005. And I really would like to see him and THEN, face to face talk about us. He opens always up more about his thoughts and feelings when we re together than he does via phone, skype, email etc...

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@OP:

Its put up or shut up time with this Sag. A Sag male will feed you crap about having a connection all day to string you along but until he backs it up...it means little. When we want someone, we make no bones about it and will do everything in our power to be with you...committed. I'm not saying he doesn't love or care about you. He doesn't know what he wants...you or his freedom to roam. Tell him what you want and if he doesn't step up...time to move on. It will hurt, but you have to do what's best for you.

But makes now sense that a sag will "feed you crap" at the same that as they are always straight up front?!