Needing Advice (about a Sag man, of course)

I met this Sag man back in November on FB. He was a friend of a friend and I would reply to posts my friend made, and this Sag man and I would get into some deep conversations, with me asking many questions of him. The thing is, this Sag man has been a friend of my best friend for most of their lives, a male married friend, and my male friend never suggested we meet. So I've been hearing about this Sag male for 15 years from my friend, but my friend never mentioned me to the Sag male. In December we moved from FB to email. In February, we began talking on the phone with each other. In April, we began to Skype. It is a long distance "friendship" at this point.

However, in February he began to hint about how I was in his "inner circle", "waaaay in the inner circle." Since that time we have decided to write a book together, and have started that process (somewhat). There is a very strong connection between us. Neither of us, however, have admitted to our mutual friend that we are communicating as much as we are. When we first began talking on the phone, our mutual friend questioned him about us talking with each other. At that time, I had no reason to not tell our mutual friend and just mentioned to him that I was on the phone with the Sag (as he was messaging me on IM and my answers were distant and short and I could tell he wasn't pleased with that). When our mutual friend began asking the Sag what we were talking about, what we had to talk about, etc., we just decided that it would best to not talk about our connection. Our mutual friend's wife asked him what was going on between us and he essentially told her that we have a strong emotional connection and that I am now a part of his life, that he plans to remain in contact with me, and remain in my life. However, the friend's wife gave him a hard time about it, telling him what she thought about it. The Sag was a bit of a womanizer in his younger years. (And for all I know, may still be.) So it just seemed that our connection with each other was going to cause our mutual friends some grief, and I know it's just them wanting to look out for me (and possibly for him - since I am in the process of getting a divorce).

Anyway, he has since that time mentioned the "L" word. He has told me that the current job he is doing will be over in 15 months, and that he has already decided who he can "cut out of his life". He is making changes in his life and has said that I've helped him to

make some realizations about himself, things about himself that he needs to change, and said it's not often he thanks anyone for ever making a change in his life, but that he was thanking me for that. He said that in 15 months we will be together. However, in order to do that, he has had to really focus on his work, and has been working 14 hour days, 7 days a week, (very high tech, high stress job). He said he has realized he's been living a life that has not been true of who he is, and plans to start living his life true to himself. He became over-stressed and disappeared for a month. Came back, let me know that he was okay, let me know what was going on, why he hadn't been in contact, told me he hadn't contacted anyone during that month. Was back for a few days and disappeared again. Came back again, after a couple of weeks, told me he would be in touch in a few days, would explain everything, and never did. He's disappeared again.

I don't know what's going on. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I send him emails, or FB private messages, to let him know I'm thinking of him and hope he is well. I've only called once or twice since the first time he's disappeared and left a voice mail. We've not talked on the phone in nearly two months, nor Skyped, and ...

Help!?

By the way, I wanted to add, he and I have not met yet, in person. So it's way too soon for the "L" word to be tossed around. However, we have spent hours at a time on the phone and skype. We have sent over a thousand emails back and forth since we started emailing (and these aren't short emails). He has told me a lot of things about his life. He said that he has never shared as much with anyone else as he has with me. And I have done the same. When we began talking, it was like we'd been talking with each other forever and knew each other so well. He told me he would spend hours looking at my picture, trying to figure "Why this woman? What is it about this woman that is so easy to talk to?" He is extremely intelligent and I'm amazed by his intellect. I am very intrigued by him. But this disappearing thing ... Is this normal for a Sag? I was involved with a Sag once before (and the sex was incredible - I'm a scorpio if that makes any difference). The Sag I was involved with before never disappeared, but we also weren't long distance and had known each other for about 10 years before we ever got involved. In fact, I've always known the guys I've been involved with for a few years before getting involved with them. I don't think I've ever dated someone I didn't know personally, for at least a year or two. But we aren't even dating. This man is getting under my skin and I don't like it. I have a Sag moon and a lot of Sag in other planets, too. In fact, most of my major planets are in Sag. He took my birth date, time, and place, as he is big into horoscopes too. But I didn't get his. This damn man is getting to me and I like it and don't like it all at the same time.

Hi there!
As far as My experience with Sag goes, I??d say that's not unusual that they??ll disappear from time to time.

Some argue that Sag are straight forward, if they want you they will let you know and get you, and that everything else is waste of your time.

However, I think Sag males are a little more complicated than that...
I have found this to be the most true about how a Sag works :-)

Good luck!!

And thank you, too, AriesCrazyAboutSag! (My reply got mixed up in your quote some how?? No edit buttons—)

Posted by cheekyfaerie
They're also pretty non-confrontational. It's possible he's found someone closer to home. Not trying to be a downer, but definitely go about your life as you normally would and try not to let him get under your skin. Not to say to close yourself off to him, but don't lose any sleep either.

LOL - I'm a Scorpio. Don't think that thought hasn't crossed my mind! lol It's very possible as, by his own admission, he was quite the playboy when he was younger, but he's been very open with me about all things (until his disappearance) and since we aren't in a relationship, only a friendship at this point (and going to write a book together), I would hope that he wouldn't feel like he couldn't tell me that if that's the case. I do like him. A lot. And I would like to explore this and see where it might go. I know the demons he hides and he has said I know more about him than friends that have known him most of his life. So, there's not been anything he hasn't been afraid to share with me. He was the one that started talking of feelings and a possible relationship once he is done with his current project/job. I'm going to keep working on the book, and just hope that he does dive in to help at some point. We've got big plans for it, and he was very bossy about the things he wanted me to accomplish on it over the next couple of months, before we "really knuckle down". Damn Sags. I don't know what the hell it is about a Sag man with a Scorpio woman. With my ex-Sag, even though he was a tosser, damn, there was something about the chemistry there ... and I can definitely feel that with this Sag.

Oh and he got very angry with me once, back in February, because he misunderstood something I had said and took it to mean that I was "walking away" (which was the furthest from what I was saying - I was just saying that I thought we needed to slow things down a little with the talk about feelings and such - that he could meet me in person and decide he really doesn't like me). And he can be very biting with his words, but I could see that he was just insecure at that moment, and let it slide off of me. He came back a day later apologizing, having re-read what he had said, but said that he still meant it - that before either of us make any foolish decision like "walking away" or any such thing, that we've shared a lot of information with the other and that we both deserve a phone call to discuss it before making any decision like that, that he would take whatever I dished out just to have me remain in his life, and in contact, as even a friend. As a Scorp, since we were still getting to know each other at that point, well, I have a lot of trust issues and just agreed with him, while inside wondering if I could trust what he was saying. Being a Scorpio sucks, but I do have a Sag moon. (I don't know if that is a good combination to have or not.)

So, it's work related. His sister (a friend he was raised with - who is also dependent upon him) has posted on his FB, asking him to get in touch, asking him if he's okay because she's not heard from him in "a long time". Her daughter also posted, asking him where he is. I need to let go of my Scorpio mistrust, and just trust what he told me when he did get back in touch, that's he just under a lot of pressure with work and is working towards a future. His sister isn't someone that he would just walk away from, and would remain in contact with her, unless he was really under-water. So it's chill-time for this Scorpio until he gets back in touch. However, I may have to "torture" him a bit when he does get in touch for ignoring me. (We were planning on meeting soon, and when I do "torture" him, I'll make sure he enjoys it.)

yeah id relax...saggis get busy and fall off the earth. we work best with people who understand that.

Thank you DMV. Yeah, I'm chilling now. :-) He's so different from my ex-Sag that when he disappeared I didn't know what to make of it. My ex-Sag never disappeared on me. But thinking back on it, what he would do is get lost in playing his guitar for hours at a time, or some art project that he was working on, but those were things I would encourage him to do, and would sit and listen to him play, or watch him work, while reading a book or doing something else. I would love to listen to play or watch his creative juices flowing into that art piece. He was always surprised at how I would just let him go for hours, not demanding that he stop (as all of his exes did), begging him to spend time with me. I told him that it was obviously something that was very important to him, something that gave him meaning, and of course, I would support that. Now that I know that this current Sag hasn't just disappeared from me, but from even those he is closest (family and friends), then I trust that it is due to his work (and I know how important his work is to him, him having started several companies - that takes time, devotion, dedication to that goal). And I trust that we will write this book together (him already being published 19 times, over 1,000,000 words in print). He's one of those Sags that is extremely ambitious and spends his time always working on something. So different from ex-Sag. Also, my ex-Sag would lie to me (a lot) as I was always catching him in those lies (which was one of the reasons he ended up being an ex), so I guess I was afraid this one would, too. But he's been so open with me from the beginning, his whole life story, the good and the bad, things he's never shared with anyone, so I just have to trust in that. I really like this one and I guess if I'm being honest, I just miss him