Sag girls.. I need some advice!

Hey all you wonderful sag girls out there reading this post! I'm coming to you guys for help about a sag girl that I've been crushing on for the longest time, (since i was 19, i am now 24). I, being the young, naive 19 year old that I was, dropped a bomb on her (told her I really liked her and would like to have a relationship), got rejected, and put in the friend zone. I stopped talking to her for a really long time, had a couple flings, then recently started getting closer to her as friends. We even met up on Christmas at her house to smoke, exchange gifts, and just hang out 1 on 1. Unfortunately though, no matter what I do, I always feel like it's a one-sided friendship because I tend to invest more into it then she does, and this made me want to change something around a little. I wanted to test it, so I stopped texting/calling her for about a week and half. After this short hiatus of no contact, she texted me and told me she missed me.

Sorry for the long post, but here is where I need your help you lovely sag ladies! I feel like I'm being strung along by her because she knows i've liked her in the past. Is she just being innocent and actually missing my company or is she trying to bring me back into her circle of attention from one too many guys in competition with her?

quick read:
1. girl friend zoned me long time ago
2. recently started hanging out 1 on 1 more
3. girl started to call me always on her time and terms.
4. i pulled away a little and tried not contacting her for a little.
5. after a week and half, she texts me that she misses me.

btw I am a Libra with Aquarius ascendant.

ask her flat out what she wants.
i couldn't respect a man that doesn't.

I've already asked her that about 5 months before Christmas time and she said she just wants to be friends. but now it's been more than a year since she said that and now I just feel like that she is enjoying the attention but nothing else. But her texting me after the hiatus certainly raised my hope just a little. Is she stringing me along?!

yes.
you are a chew toy.
but it's not like she didn't tell you this.
if you want to be CLEAR about this, ask her again.
it won't hurt.

How should I go about asking her? I don't want to come off as needy!

Do you guys have sex?

Posted by libradamus
How should I go about asking her? I don't want to come off as needy!

That's exactly where you screw up man! Sag women and men love someone with confidence...not arrogance and ego. Confidence. You can't come off as unsure. Its a complete turn off. Also, are you sure that she only talks to you when she wants to? I don't know too many sag ladies that are like this. From my experience, its bern the other way around with libra ladies. They only talk when they want to. Hot n heavy for a couple of days then silence. The balancing act. That's one thing that will get you friend zoned quick. We like consistency in behavior even when we're not. We teach but also like to be taught. If someone is consistent in treating us well and always bring there, that wins us. Its easy to get us but harder to keep up. But no manipulation or drama. We are half horse and will use tat part of us to high tail it out of there.

Posted by libradamus
How should I go about asking her? I don't want to come off as needy!

there is no hope for you.

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by libradamus
How should I go about asking her? I don't want to come off as needy!

That's exactly where you screw up man! Sag women and men love someone with confidence...not arrogance and ego. Confidence. You can't come off as unsure. Its a complete turn off. Also, are you sure that she only talks to you when she wants to? I don't know too many sag ladies that are like this. From my experience, its bern the other way around with libra ladies. They only talk when they want to. Hot n heavy for a couple of days then silence. The balancing act. That's one thing that will get you friend zoned quick. We like consistency in behavior even when we're not. We teach but also like to be taught. If someone is consistent in treating us well and always bring there, that wins us. Its easy to get us but harder to keep up. But no manipulation or drama. We are half horse and will use tat part of us to high tail it out of there.

click to expand

omg...this is so true.
these men come at me turnt all the way up and, the minute they turn down, i am disgusted and ready to go.

I believe she means exactly what she says by saying she only wants to be friends. I honestly don't know a lot of Sag girls who keep a guy around just for the attention.

Posted by beautifulsoul74

Posted by libradamus
How should I go about asking her? I don't want to come off as needy!

That's exactly where you screw up man! Sag women and men love someone with confidence...not arrogance and ego. Confidence. You can't come off as unsure. Its a complete turn off. Also, are you sure that she only talks to you when she wants to? I don't know too many sag ladies that are like this. From my experience, its bern the other way around with libra ladies. They only talk when they want to. Hot n heavy for a couple of days then silence. The balancing act. That's one thing that will get you friend zoned quick. We like consistency in behavior even when we're not. We teach but also like to be taught. If someone is consistent in treating us well and always bring there, that wins us. Its easy to get us but harder to keep up. But no manipulation or drama. We are half horse and will use tat part of us to high tail it out of there.

click to expand

That is some great advice dude! Maybe it's my ego getting in the way which made me pull away just to see if she was just as into me as I was her. And it did make her tell me she missed me, but that's probably just a friendly gesture coming from her. And I do admit, this is the kind of manipulation that I wasn't supposed to do, but for some reason it kinda worked? Unless she's just pulling me back by the leash or something HAHA! Oh and don't worry about the consistency, I've been chasing this girl for the longest time, (I've dated other girls in between here and there).

Posted by specialsauce
I believe she means exactly what she says by saying she only wants to be friends. I honestly don't know a lot of Sag girls who keep a guy around just for the attention.

I've known her for a long time, but we don't really hang out with each other too much at social events or anything. We hang out 1 on 1 more often. So I'd say we know each other pretty well so it's perfectly normal to assume that she just likes catching up with me here and there, but not like all the time.

so funny...you come here asking sag WOMEN for advice, and when we give it to you, you don't acknowledge it.

you just want to hear what you want to hear.
that's why you are friendzoned.

Posted by msX
so funny...you come here asking sag WOMEN for advice, and when we give it to you, you don't acknowledge it.

you just want to hear what you want to hear.
that's why you are friendzoned.

.

Saying there is no hope for me didn't really sound like much advice haha. I appreciate beautiful soul's comment and advice as I do and will take his advice. On the other hand, I'm not really too hung up on this girl either, I'm going out with a taurus chick casually right now at the moment. Not officially dating or anything, just casual fun.

msX I didn't just let your advice go in one ear and out the other haha. Don't know why you gotta be such a jackass about it though 😛

awwww...boo, sorry about that.
you just need to know that until you ask her, there is nothing we can say to make things right.
just ask!

From what you sag girls are telling me, this one looks like it got away heh! I humbly accept defeat with a bittersweet attitude and will continue the friendship, but not as close anymore. 😄

If she put u in the friend zone ur destined to stay there until she decides to change it, she likes the Attention u give her n she knows u want her which will only make her not see u as some1 who she wants! I've kept guys in the friend zone for years, n years n only certain things have ever made me see thm different, 1. Thy took it, n were persistent , n thn all of a sudden couldn't b around whn I wanted thm around! Now don't get me wrong I didn't realize at the time that I was even causing thm any discomfort, n us sag girls prefer male friends to female friends, not sure y! So we realize n don't realize at the same time, that u might b attracted to us, but believe its superficial n if we have r eyes or hearts on some1 else we can't see u there yet! So my advice is to be upfront about what u want n let her no that u want to hang out with her on a different level thn just plain friends but don't mention a relationship or any feelings for her, but that u just want to have fun with her, n c if any things there between u two! But if she says no, just take it as a NO! N find urself a new girl to chase! Best I can do without giving all r secrets away!

Posted by Lovebeinasag
If she put u in the friend zone ur destined to stay there until she decides to change it, she likes the Attention u give her n she knows u want her which will only make her not see u as some1 who she wants! I've kept guys in the friend zone for years, n years n only certain things have ever made me see thm different, 1. Thy took it, n were persistent , n thn all of a sudden couldn't b around whn I wanted thm around! Now don't get me wrong I didn't realize at the time that I was even causing thm any discomfort, n us sag girls prefer male friends to female friends, not sure y! So we realize n don't realize at the same time, that u might b attracted to us, but believe its superficial n if we have r eyes or hearts on some1 else we can't see u there yet! So my advice is to be upfront about what u want n let her no that u want to hang out with her on a different level thn just plain friends but don't mention a relationship or any feelings for her, but that u just want to have fun with her, n c if any things there between u two! But if she says no, just take it as a NO! N find urself a new girl to chase! Best I can do without giving all r secrets away!

Sorry for the late but thanks for the advice! One thing that I actually did was unintentionally becoming less available for her. I also started having a fling with some Taurus girl and she found out about it. After this, she started to want to hang out more often, for example, she invited me over for dinner with her and her roommate. She also started to want to hang out on the weekends now and asked me to drink this weekend. Funny behavior coming from her after she found out about that other girl. 😛

Posted by Sag89
Do you guys have sex?

why you asked this question?

I will say, yes she's stringing you along and it's not even stringing because she already let you know what role you play in her life. You might feel like it's stringing because your the one still crushing on her and she's not reacting to it the way you'd like. She's not reciprocating in the way you want her too. You give her attention , and we like attention. Doesn't mean because she's friendly that she wants anything with you. Just cause she says she misses you doesn't mean she has a thing for you romantically. It just means she misses your attention as a friend.
If I have mutual feelings for a guy or friend. I don't wait for him to bring it up. If I already know he likes me, I rejected him(for what ever reason) and we are hanging out again a couple of years later and I like him romantically just cause I rejected him in the past doesn't mean I'm not bold enough to ask him if he still feels the same. I don't care to get rejected to be honest so I'll take that leap.
I'm not one to beat around the bush. If me and you hang out on Christmas, smoke exchange gifts, and I'm now feeling you, I am not going to hold back.
So I believe she does care about you but only as a friend.
Don't take the occasional flirting as a sign cause we can also be overly nice and that's mistaken as flirting or a sign of liking someone and that's not always the case.
You want to know how she thinks about you, ask her. Be straight forward cause we Sag woman are straight forward.

I love being a Sag girl, but I won't lie when I say I also like attention. It feels good to get it from someone and we are natural flirts, loyal, and LOVE people. Sometimes, I get myself into sticky situations with guy friends because they think I want more because I'm flirty and open. I don't mean to hurt them and I genuinely care about them, just not as much as they would like.

Sounds to me like she wants to just be your friend. Sorry. Seems like she's been pretty consistent with that. It sucks, but it is there.

Dude Librademus there is still hope my friend! You CAN break out of the buddy zone.

She's starting to like you but you have to handle this right.

Telling her that you want to be in a relationship again and "just telling her how you feel" is the worst thing you can do here.
Sag girl will be galloping away again.

Here's what you do, I call it "the ghost and the flame." When you're with her you are passionate, fun, exciting, stimulating, make her laugh, get her dancing and blow her mind with your conversations. (your a Libra you can converse). This is the flame.

When you are apart you are aloof, slow to respond to her texts (if at all). Let her become aware you have other girls who are interested (by posting pics on fb). Maybe even cancel and reshedule plans with her. This is the ghost.

She will be hooked and see you as attractive and a challenge instead of her bitch boy (chew toy). Then when you're really feeling the vibes with her and you feel her becoming attracted, Kiss her! Then escalate and once she sleeps with you she will be in Love. Then you can "be yourself" again. It's called courting, animals do it, we all do it. Some call it a game. I prefer to think of it as a dance.

Good luck!

Sagittarius2315: Thanks for the reply! From a biased point of view, I'd like to disagree with you, but from a realistic one, I hate to say it but I'm going to have to agree with you. 😛 I get the feeling that she does like the attention from me, but not much more. But I am a patient young man, and I don't put all my eggs into one basket 😉

SagMagick: Thanks for the reply! (I sound like an automated voice message haha!) I unintentionally have been doing "the ghost and the flame"! I used to text/call her a lot, but I've dimmed it down a lot lately, and ironically, it's actually been working more in my favor. This doesn't mean I ignore her or malnourish our friendship as that would not be fair to her. But I do know what I want and if I see anything escalate after testing the pool temperature, you sure as heck know that I will dive head first! (pun intended of course hehe).

Recap: We've been seeing each other on a weekly basis, texting each other about one conversation every 3 days or so. My birthday recently passed and she asked me if she could take me to dinner next Saturday. I already said yes, but I'm only seeing it as having dinner with a friend.