Saggitarius' and Trust issues

So, I posted yesterday my situation with A Sag male, moon in cancer, venus in sag and saturn in scorpio. I'm still confused because I spoke with him yesterday about everything that confused me about him and he basically stated that he does not trust me. I've never gave him a reason for him not to trust me. I'm an attractive Libra, so I get a lot of attention from the opposite sex on social media but I don't respond back to anyone or I don't have guys calling my phone. I actually cut off all the other people I was dating because I'm so into him. Is it a typical Sag thing? How can I gain his trust when I never lost it? I'm confused even more.. I'm a libra female btw

Where are all my Sag's when you need them?

at least he was honest.

IF YOU WANT, ask him ways you can change to make him trust you more.

personally, i wouldnt give 2 hoots. as a fellow water moon, if i dont trust you, even after a year, i dont think its worth it to continue.

Gift, his placements have nothing to do with how he trusts you. There are somethings you said or did to break his trust. I'm not saying its your fault or that you intentionally did it but that's how he see it if that's what he told you. If you want to discuss it privately, feel free to send me a message.

The sag cop who I was dating til 2 weeks ago told me on the second date he has trust issues. Said "I probably shouldnt tell you this but when I get close to a women (feelings) I tend to push her away". Foreboding words, cus thats just he's done after the intimacy kicked in. He's venus scorpio s its a million times extreme.

On the 3rd date, and after daily talking for weeks, I asked him how much he trusted me. "More than 10% , but less than 80% " were his words. I asked if he wanted to trust me, he said yes. I told him i didnt want to date others and I was not. He knew where I was as I never hid anything. He knows I have male friends and hid his jealousy well but it came out recently. He once joked about me being a player and I adamantly said I was not and showed my affection to him. His trust issues are his to resolve. Nothing can be done to fix him. Just be the best you, dont hide stuff and dont do anything to instill jealousy. He has to come out and be brave on his own.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
The sag cop who I was dating til 2 weeks ago told me on the second date he has trust issues. Said "I probably shouldnt tell you this but when I get close to a women (feelings) I tend to push her away". Foreboding words, cus thats just he's done after the intimacy kicked in. He's venus scorpio s its a million times extreme.

On the 3rd date, and after daily talking for weeks, I asked him how much he trusted me. "More than 10% , but less than 80% " were his words. I asked if he wanted to trust me, he said yes. I told him i didnt want to date others and I was not. He knew where I was as I never hid anything. He knows I have male friends and hid his jealousy well but it came out recently. He once joked about me being a player and I adamantly said I was not and showed my affection to him. His trust issues are his to resolve. Nothing can be done to fix him. Just be the best you, dont hide stuff and dont do anything to instill jealousy. He has to come out and be brave on his own.

BGP, I understand completely what you're saying and I really hoped for the best with you and the Sag. This scenario, I believe is different. They've been "together" for over a year now. He didn't stop trusting her overnight. I'm not in any way accusing her of any wrong doing or saying its her fault. To him, her behavior changed. Its the one of the two reasons we begin to pull away. Both if them entail us distancing ourselves to evaluate the situation. Some of us are upfront about it, others aren't. I will say this, when he's done, he'll say so.

Thanks, Beautifulsoul, I am not familiar with her relationship. Just sounds similar to mine. Trust issues area also related to moon and venus I feel. I know my scorp moon is SO suspicious and mistrusting right off the bat.

Thanks also for your support. 🙂

Posted by BigGirlPanties
Thanks, Beautifulsoul, I am not familiar with her relationship. Just sounds similar to mine. Trust issues area also related to moon and venus I feel. I know my scorp moon is SO suspicious and mistrusting right off the bat.

Thanks also for your support. 🙂

You're welcome. I understand. Despite the fact that you've been hurt, you have to take a positive approach. New person, new experiences. Wipe the slate clean.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Gift, his placements have nothing to do with how he trusts you. There are somethings you said or did to break his trust. I'm not saying its your fault or that you intentionally did it but that's how he see it if that's what he told you. If you want to discuss it privately, feel free to send me a message.

Honestly, I asked him again about it yesterday and he told me it's not so much me, its an issue he has with females in general. He told me no female has ever been loyal to him in a relationship. He said even though we've been dating for a year he still is scared to fully commit. I haven't done anything for him to believe negative of me but he can't sleep on me. I'm not buying it

How old is he? If that's the case, you have a choice and I know it's hard. Stay with him and help him with his trust or you two can just be friends. It's difficult to leave because you love him and you've invested in him. But leaving may actually cause him to get his act together.

Let me add this Gift

He's not lying to you but he's no telling you the full truth either. Its why I asked you his age, He may just be at the point where he doesn't know what he wants.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
How old is he? If that's the case, you have a choice and I know it's hard. Stay with him and help him with his trust or you two can just be friends. It's difficult to leave because you love him and you've invested in him. But leaving may actually cause him to get his act together.

He's 30, you would think he would be past all the drama. I don't know what to do. Its like a battle between making him feel comfortable and feeling like I'm giving to much of myself and not getting nowhere. I'm so nice to him, I don't complain, I don't nagg, I give him space, when we're together we have a good time. I text him kisses and that I miss him. I know he really cares for me, but when it comes down to it, I'm a libra. Libras are in love with being in love, I want to be in love! I don't suffocate him, so I definitely know its not me being too clingy. His personality compliments mine so well so i don't know if I should keep loving him or just back off and be a bitch lol ?

Honestly, I feel you Gift. I was in your shoes with my Libra ex. I don't know if you read PinkLibra's response in your other thread, but you should. Its accurate, but in a general sense. You can get that same description off of any astrology website.

30 is a little long in the tooth to be pulling the scared crap. Everybody's got some fear of a person not being loyal. But if you want that, you need to show it. Simple 🙂 Not saying you dont have one but he doesnt think you have a backbone. You need to be direct and tell him either he gets over his issues and start trusting you or you're done. Be strong and direct. Dont accuse or fuss, but come at him like the woman that you are. Be firm. Tell him you dont deserve to even be considered in the same league with those other women. You're not them.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Honestly, I feel you Gift. I was in your shoes with my Libra ex. I don't know if you read PinkLibra's response in your other thread, but you should. Its accurate, but in a general sense. You can get that same description off of any astrology website.

30 is a little long in the tooth to be pulling the scared crap. Everybody's got some fear of a person not being loyal. But if you want that, you need to show it. Simple 🙂 Not saying you dont have one but he doesnt think you have a backbone. You need to be direct and tell him either he gets over his issues and start trusting you or you're done. Be strong and direct. Dont accuse or fuss, but come at him like the woman that you are. Be firm. Tell him you dont deserve to even be considered in the same league with those other women. You're not them.

So I decided to leave him alone and see how it goes. Yesterday, Valentine's day was a nightmare, I called him at 2pm and he didn't get back to me until 7pm. By that time I was so upset and disappointed, I told him thanks for calling back and nonchalantly got off the phone. I don't know whether to tell him my plans of moving on, or just moving on silently and giving him the cold shoulder. I need to feel special, not special on and off when he feels like it. We'll see how that goes.

id tell him i how i felt.

You think maybe hes pulling back because hes scared he hasnt seen the real you? Not saying your hiding anything, but maybe he feels like your too nice, too acccomidating, etc. When you are displeased with him do you tell him? Are you walking on eggshells around him?

I have a good sag friend and he told me he trusted me a long time ago. Now, hes one of the meanest things Ive ever had the pleasure to come across, but I call him on it. We can argue, we can disagree. Hes a big no it all, so when i feel like we cant agree, we agree to disagree, or at least I do.

What Im saying is, I think he trusts me because he knows hes gonna get it live and in person with me. He knows im not gonna hold back.

Just trying to provide another angle......

He has big trusts issue too with women.

Do whats best for you though, protect your heart.

Do unto him as you'd he do unto you. Don't disappear in silence like so many. That will only serve to enhance his mistrust of you. In the end, he either values you enough to risk trusting and get his shit together and show up full time, or he will remain a cowardly lion. Just do your part in being decent and upstanding.

Posted by coldwater
You think maybe hes pulling back because hes scared he hasnt seen the real you? Not saying your hiding anything, but maybe he feels like your too nice, too acccomidating, etc. When you are displeased with him do you tell him? Are you walking on eggshells around him?

I have a good sag friend and he told me he trusted me a long time ago. Now, hes one of the meanest things Ive ever had the pleasure to come across, but I call him on it. We can argue, we can disagree. Hes a big no it all, so when i feel like we cant agree, we agree to disagree, or at least I do.

What Im saying is, I think he trusts me because he knows hes gonna get it live and in person with me. He knows im not gonna hold back.

Just trying to provide another angle......

He has big trusts issue too with women.

Do whats best for you though, protect your heart.

I've definitely spoke my mind many times, I'm not scared of him. The problem is when I speak my mind he denies my accusations and doesn't tell me what it really is. But its almost like I can read him,so that annoys me even more because it's like I know my feelings are right.

He sounds alot like my friend. I dont think the man is ever wrong because he plays by his own rules. I can put up a great debate, but in the end his way makes the best sense because well...... its his way. Somethings he excels in and in other areas (anything emotional) hes way past fail.

He has alot of trust issues too because hes been cheated on alot.

But, despite the things that I find hard about him, hes a good man. If you want the gosh honest truth, he will tell you exactly what he thinks and hes always here or reachable if I ever need a good friend. You can set your clock by him. And if he gives you his word, he will keep it. Thats priceless to me.

I know that you want him to be more open and trusting, but are there other areas that he excels in? Have you tried showing him how to treat you?

This might be a long road to travel and I guess only you can decide if its good to go down it. You definantely need trust in any relationship and he might feel it has to be earned rather than given.

Might not be a quick fix, but he might be worth it.

Just remember ....as your name says...you are a gift.

Hopefully he will meet you halfway at least and learn to trust. Wouldnt be a good thing to allow past hurts to make you miss out on potential happiness.

Gift, if you're going to leave him you need to tell him. Giving him the cold shoulder is on being vindictive and I dont think you're that type of person. I'm sorry it's ending. I'd hoped you two could work out your problems. Best wishes.

Posted by BigGirlPanties
Do unto him as you'd he do unto you. Don't disappear in silence like so many. That will only serve to enhance his mistrust of you. In the end, he either values you enough to risk trusting and get his shit together and show up full time, or he will remain a cowardly lion. Just do your part in being decent and upstanding.

+1

Posted by coldwater
He sounds alot like my friend. I dont think the man is ever wrong because he plays by his own rules. I can put up a great debate, but in the end his way makes the best sense because well...... its his way. Somethings he excels in and in other areas (anything emotional) hes way past fail.

He has alot of trust issues too because hes been cheated on alot.

But, despite the things that I find hard about him, hes a good man. If you want the gosh honest truth, he will tell you exactly what he thinks and hes always here or reachable if I ever need a good friend. You can set your clock by him. And if he gives you his word, he will keep it. Thats priceless to me.

I know that you want him to be more open and trusting, but are there other areas that he excels in? Have you tried showing him how to treat you?

This might be a long road to travel and I guess only you can decide if its good to go down it. You definantely need trust in any relationship and he might feel it has to be earned rather than given.

Might not be a quick fix, but he might be worth it.

I told him more how I feel over the weekend and I know that he really likes me a lot. I think its just all on me and having patience with him. His trust won't come easy and will take time, he's damaged. I just want that ego of his to subside a little lol Sags can put up such a big front to cover up their vulnerabilities, I hate it! lol

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Gift, if you're going to leave him you need to tell him. Giving him the cold shoulder is on being vindictive and I dont think you're that type of person. I'm sorry it's ending. I'd hoped you two could work out your problems. Best wishes.

I think I'm going to give him more time to come around. I just hope it doesn't take years. I know you Sag's are super slow when it comes to stuff like that. My friend just got engaged after a 10 year relationship with her Sag. I told him more of how I felt and he did exactly what you said, he mirrored me. I asked him if I was wasting my time, if it was a lost cause and he replied, "I don't know, you tell me" and it made me want to scream but I just took a breath and told him that I didn't feel like it was and that I wanted him to love me one day. He again didn't gvie me a response, so again I don't know if that means its on me or he just doesn't want to say. He is so damaged I guess, its going to take forever to prove I'm loyal. I asked him again, why he doesn't trust me and he said "I don't know, I just don't feel like your all about me" So, I told him how I felt about that too. I told him that most of the time I hold back myself because my pride gets the best of me, I give him space or I don't sweat him because I tell myself that I shouldn't be all over him if he's not all over me. But that has nothing to do with how I feel about him or the fact that I only want to be with him. Again, he didn't say anything. So I don't know how he really feels about anything.

Posted by GiftfromVenus

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Gift, if you're going to leave him you need to tell him. Giving him the cold shoulder is on being vindictive and I dont think you're that type of person. I'm sorry it's ending. I'd hoped you two could work out your problems. Best wishes.

I asked him again, why he doesn't trust me and he said "I don't know, I just don't feel like your all about me" I told him that most of the time I hold back myself because my pride gets the best of me, I give him space or I don't sweat him because I tell myself that I shouldn't be all over him if he's not all over me. But that has nothing to do with how I feel about him or the fact that I only want to be with him.

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w.o.w.! Sounds just like what i was going through with my sag.

@Gift:

I think that there is something you and others should understand about us. If we're honest with ourselves, we all have trust issues on some level. BGP, we've discussed the problems you had with your Sag. Gift, it goes back to the original point I made. You told him that you hold yourself back because of pride but realistically its fear because you don't want to put yourself out there. Its ok and understandable. But how can you then demand him to trust you and be honest with you when you've demonstrated without words that you're not willing to do the same? To him, it simply isn't fair. Its not about leading or the man going first because to us its about equality...equal risk. Libras pull the hot and cold thing too which causes us to question you and we then close ourselves off.

In my relationship with my ex Libra...she distanced herself first. I asked her about it and she gave me a vague AND untruthful response. I knew she was doubting the relationship and she wouldn't come clean about it. I tried for the longest to be patient but eventually I simply gave up trusting her. The one thing you can do with us is be truthful and upfront about what you're feeling. I've always been that way even when I knew it would hurt. But better for her to have full knowledge and make a choice based on the total truth than to have her wondering. I never bern afraid to give all of me even after bring hurt. It takes courage to do that. I'm willing to bet that it's not his trust issues. They're just a symptom. He's disappointed and doesn't want to tell you. I'm still not saying its your fault. The sad thing is its easily fixed. But it involves both if you being upfront and honest about each other. He loves you. He's just afraid right now that you're going to hurt him.

Tell him this and you do this as well. First you try, then you trust. Just tell him to try and you should try and with love and faith in each other you two can get there together. The journey is just as important as the destination.

Damn IPad strikes again with the typos! Lol

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@Gift:

I think that there is something you and others should understand about us. If we're honest with ourselves, we all have trust issues on some level. BGP, we've discussed the problems you had with your Sag. Gift, it goes back to the original point I made. You told him that you hold yourself back because of pride but realistically its fear because you don't want to put yourself out there. Its ok and understandable. But how can you then demand him to trust you and be honest with you when you've demonstrated without words that you're not willing to do the same? To him, it simply isn't fair. Its not about leading or the man going first because to us its about equality...equal risk. Libras pull the hot and cold thing too which causes us to question you and we then close ourselves off.

In my relationship with my ex Libra...she distanced herself first. I asked her about it and she gave me a vague AND untruthful response. I knew she was doubting the relationship and she wouldn't come clean about it. I tried for the longest to be patient but eventually I simply gave up trusting her. The one thing you can do with us is be truthful and upfront about what you're feeling. I've always been that way even when I knew it would hurt. But better for her to have full knowledge and make a choice based on the total truth than to have her wondering. I never bern afraid to give all of me even after bring hurt. It takes courage to do that. I'm willing to bet that it's not his trust issues. They're just a symptom. He's disappointed and doesn't want to tell you. I'm still not saying its your fault. The sad thing is its easily fixed. But it involves both if you being upfront and honest about each other. He loves you. He's just afraid right now that you're going to hurt him.

Tell him this and you do this as well. First you try, then you trust. Just tell him to try and you should try and with love and faith in each other you two can get there together. The journey is just as important as the destination.

Why do you think he's disappointed with me? I've never dealt with a Sag man, so its all new to me, when you say you guys don't see it as the man taking the first step, you see it as an equal gesture. I'm so used to the man always making the first move so seeing him not budge scares me. Libra's are very hot and cold too but I would think a Sag can understand

@Gift: I understand but we're different. You can't take the same approach in regards to trust and deep feeling with every guy. You can't ask someone fur something you're not already giving. With the hut and cold thing. Same principle. He probably looks at it thus way. If you trust and open up, he dies the same. If you stop bring hot and cold, he furs the same. It's about reciprocation.

Typos...

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@Gift: I understand but we're different. You can't take the same approach in regards to trust and deep feeling with every guy. You can't ask someone fur something you're not already giving. With the hut and cold thing. Same principle. He probably looks at it thus way. If you trust and open up, he dies the same. If you stop bring hot and cold, he furs the same. It's about reciprocation.

So how do you like to be loved?

Posted by GiftfromVenus

Posted by beautifulsoul74
@Gift: I understand but we're different. You can't take the same approach in regards to trust and deep feeling with every guy. You can't ask someone fur something you're not already giving. With the hut and cold thing. Same principle. He probably looks at it thus way. If you trust and open up, he dies the same. If you stop bring hot and cold, he furs the same. It's about reciprocation.

So how do you like to be loved?

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You're the first to ever ask me that.

Never taken for granted. Trusted. Held sacred. My heart protected. A woman who loves me accepts me. She knows me better than I know myself but doesn't use that to her advantage. I could say more but I'll say this. My love is unconditional...it truly is. I've always accepted my lovers fully few who they are and never tried to change them or control them. Let them be free to be who they are. Reliability. Deep and profound. That's how. That's what I offer and more.

Typos! Samsung here I come!

Gift: how do you want to be loved?

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Gift: how do you want to be loved?

I love to be the apple of the my man's eyes. I want to be beautiful always to him. I love to feel appreciated and understood. I love when I'm trusted and a man can accept me for me, flaws and all. I love feeling in love and doing spontaneous cute things for each other just because. I love seeing a smile on my man's face with everything.

But I have yet another question Saggie, I've been telling him a lot of things I'm feeling and being more open. And some things he responds to and most of the love questions he doesn't. Like if he would ever consider me to be his wife or someone he can see being in a committed relationship and he doesn't respond. So I tried to approach it differently and a tell him that I don't think he'll ever be committed to me or that he would consider me to be his wife, and told him just to respond truth or lies and he still didn't respond. Do I just leave it up in the air? Does he not responding mean that he cares or he doesn't care?

Posted by GiftfromVenus

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Gift: how do you want to be loved?

I love to be the apple of the my man's eyes. I want to be beautiful always to him. I love to feel appreciated and understood. I love when I'm trusted and a man can accept me for me, flaws and all. I love feeling in love and doing spontaneous cute things for each other just because. I love seeing a smile on my man's face with everything.

But I have yet another question Saggie, I've been telling him a lot of things I'm feeling and being more open. And some things he responds to and most of the love questions he doesn't. Like if he would ever consider me to be his wife or someone he can see being in a committed relationship and he doesn't respond. So I tried to approach it differently and a tell him that I don't think he'll ever be committed to me or that he would consider me to be his wife, and told him just to respond truth or lies and he still didn't respond. Do I just leave it up in the air? Does he not responding mean that he cares or he doesn't care?

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Do you love him the same way? Are you like that with him without deviation? My point is and you know this as well, he's not perfect and neither are you. You haven't always bern as loving to him and he probably hasn't either. You and he have to find harmony with that. Love is perfect, but we make it imperfect because of who we are...human.

He cares, but he's not sure about love or marriage with you and he probably didn't respond because he knew it would only start an argument...which contrary to popular opinion, we hate. Personally, I would've handled it differently and I think he should've told you the truth. When I was 30, I still had trouble expressing my deepest feelings. But that was because I didn't know exactly what they were. Rather than lie, I kept silent. Then I simply said I don't know and I asked for patience to let me figure out what they were. I didn't distanced myself a little simply to cause less confusion for the other person. I didn't want them suffering because I couldn't figure things out. I was upfront about it, but it didn't make things easier. I'm much different now.

I meant I distanced myself a little.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
I meant I distanced myself a little.

ok, and whats your take on affection? I love being affectionate, kissing, cuddling and hugging but I sometimes refrain from doing it too cuz I think he's going to take it as I'm suffocating him. Do you enjoy that? Do you enjoy being babied?

Posted by GiftfromVenus

Posted by beautifulsoul74
I meant I distanced myself a little.

ok, and whats your take on affection? I love being affectionate, kissing, cuddling and hugging but I sometimes refrain from doing it too cuz I think he's going to take it as I'm suffocating him. Do you enjoy that? Do you enjoy being babied?

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I also love being affectionate and public displays of it. Yeah, I have to admit I enjoy being babied...a little. I don't want to be treated like I'm five because I definitely don't act like it.

Do you baby him?