What's up with my Sag guy friend?

Ok, so I haven't posted in the forums here much cuz it seems a lot of drama occurs... but oh well. I have a question just out of curiosity so I figured what the heck.

I have a guy friend. Know him for about hmmmmm 16 or 17 years. Hes a Sag born dec 5th. So, he's not a settle down type right and I have said to him - how come these women get so upset when you dont want to stay with them when they become clingy - do they not see you are not the type to settle down? His reply was- I think you are the only one who seems to get that! Anyway, he has stayed at my house a few times while waiting on an apartment and we chilled and watched the news (not my fave but he loves "talk" anything. And he's very cuddly so he would lay his head on my lap and such.

In the past, we have been intimate - simply because we were both single and it was fine with us - no strings. I just don't look at him like relationship material.

Anyway he's been a bit odd the past few months. One night he had taken some medication that made him sappy and he said "I love you" and squooshed me. Now it was in a cutesy way but it was awkward. Then a few days later he said he felt great chilling with me and that it just "felt right". That too felt awkward. THEN he told me that he always liked me and used to walk past my house as teenagers hoping I would come out. At this point I told him - you just feel comfortable with me is all- You dont really feel all these things - you could never deal with me because when I fall for someone I get too emotional - and I can't handle a commitment at the moment. He then laughed and said OH NO not emotional! Well, I dont mean I want THAT kind of commitment from you so dont worry.

Now since then, we still hang and have fun. He had me in tears with laughter at a lunch just about a month ago. Hes really funny and I love hanging with him. But Im not sure what he wants and I dont want to mislead anyone. But I know Sag's are supposed to be carefree and he has always hated girls to be emotional and run as soon as they say commitment.

So here's whats wierd... lately, he calls me at random to tell me what he's doing or where he is or to ask if Im coming by or what I am doing, etc. Then his phone broke and he lost my number in it and he didnt answer my texts for a few days (maybe one text per day) so I called him (I am not usually one to call - hate talking on the phone) and he was like OH great its you! I was ready to call our friends to find out your numbe

I was ready to call our friends to find out your number and then I heard your voicemail before and said OH NO I missed you. I had to go digging in my voicemail to find out the number so I could call you back. And then he just talked about nothing much and that was it LOL. Then today he calls me to tell me hes exhausted from work and that he was falling asleep and was on his way to go grocery shopping and that he got in a fight with this girl he knows a few years today because she wants a relationship and would he go out with her and he told her no and she got upset. Then he went on this rant about how he doesnt want to tell anyone that hes leaving for work and coming home soon or whatever and I laughed and said you are too much. And so then he told me all about the list of things he was going to do all day today and that he would call me later. Haha I mean how come he tells me all this stuff—? What's up here? Can someone tell me please? Am I ok to just keep being his friend? Hes baffling. LOL

ummm well as a friend yeah. I love him as a friend. He rocks! He's gruff and blunt but I know hes just that way and when he calls me a "pain in the a $ $ " I know he is just playing. LOL. Problem is, I dont see it being more than awesome friends. And I DO NOT want to lose my friend. Not to mention I am going through divorce, trying to get past feelings for another man that I am unable to have, etc. Lot going on atm. He helps keep me smiling. I sure as hell wouldnt want to hurt him... would I? (If I just keep going on the way it has been and keep being his friend)

I meant that like - WOULD I hurt him if I just keep things as friendship? Not would I want to... Oh and hes got a lot of planets in scorp and can actually be real sensitive sometimes too. Though he doesnt "advertise" that he can be that way.

I think you like him, more than you're admitting to yourself.

You say you've known him for years and you're really good friends...but it makes you feel awkward that he tells you about his day, and girl problems? Why should that make you feel awkward? That's what friends do?

Maybe you're over-analyzing the situation because you like him, and you're scared of rejection since you know how he is - so you just pretend you would never want to be more than friends to protect yourself.




I think you should first be honest with yourself, and then let him know what's up. 🙂
He probably likes you too. We always fall for our long-time friends.

Plus, you're jumping to conclusions before you even need to, IMO.

He hasn't come out and told you he has feelings for you, nor has he asked you on a date or anything...
So what do you mean are you hurting him by staying friends? Has he suggested you be more than friends? Because I didn't get that from your story at all...




You like him. I'm sticking to my story.

LOL Your answer just made me bust out laughing. Hehe thanks for the chuckle. Sure, I like him - as a person. Of course. He's a trip and a half. He makes my sides hurt from laughter and he's just real cool people to me. BUT, I have already set in my mind that he is NOT a settle down kind of guy and if he did a 180 I dont think my mentality could change that mindset. And as I did say in the story - he took the medicine that made him really mushy and told me he loved me. He NEVER said that. EVER. And I am not one to throw those words around. I have friends who say that all the time and so I know that its just their way but he isnt one of them. So hearing that out of his mouth was like HOLY CARP! :O It's hard to put my finger one... and no, I do not mind him telling me ANYTHING at all. It's all good. I only meant that he won't tell other people things and says he doesn't want these other women because they will want to know when he is going to work, when he is getting out, what he's doing, etc. But then he tells me all this stuff anyway and I laugh to myself and think - thought you didnt want to tell anyone these things. LOL

Anyway, he's an awesome friend and I hope he always will be. I just don't want to ruin that. There was only ONE girl he ever dated who he settled down for (for the most part - was still a huge flirt though lol) and they have 2 kids together and he still has to deal with her but she cheated on him and lied about things and it hurt him pretty bad back then but they havent been together in a number of years (3 or 4)... I would never want to underestimate his feelings and hurt him is all. Ever. So I do hope I am just over analyzing and its all good. 🙂

Jade Dragon, yes, he always makes moves on me lol. Hes a flirt so I just take it like - oh thats how he is! At least, I WAS taking it that way. Like I said in reply to Brianafay... Its hard to put my finger on it. He's very mushy towards me even though I keep distance. If I hang out with him he will suddenly go jump in the shower and I will say oh I gotta go and he will say well wait til I come out before you leave. — And sometimes he will start falling asleep (he has 2 jobs) so I will say something like - ok you Im gonna head out so you can rest cuz I have stuff to do anyway and he would say - you dont have to. I dont mind if you stay while I sleep. Ummmm then there's the calls at midnight just to say hes on his way to work and wsup and then I am tired so I just say a bunch of uhhummm, yup, I see, ok... and he will say well I didnt call to hear you say I see so Im going to work now - and he will get huffy and hang up. LOL Sometimes I am like wth—? hahahaha 😛

Thanks for your input. He's a cool guy and I love him to death (as a friend) and would NEVER want to hurt his feelings in ANY way. 🙂

Thanks for the comments. I definitely will always be his friend, but I don't think it could be more. I just don't see him that way. Hopefully he knows I think he is da bomb as a friend and that he is cool with keeping it that way. 🙂 And the mentality of a woman NOT needing you being so attractive really is backwards in my opinion, but Im sure that not everything I do makes sense to everyone else either. 😛