Cappie girl likes mysterious Scorpio guy

Hey you Scorpios!

Two weeks ago I was approached by a Scorpio guy, until that moment I had only considered him as a nice co-worker that made me laugh. But when I told him I was in the beginning of a divorce, my decision BTW, he told me he was very much interested in a sexual relationship with me!! So much for the direct approach, suffice to say I was overwelmed....He was really open and told a lot of personal stuff so I was swept off my feet by the idea of having sex with him! I'm a Cappie with Taurus as Rising sign and my Mars is in Scorpio, but until that moment I wasn't aware of the power of DESIRE and lust!

But here comes the catch....we had a very sexy day the next day, couldn't keep our hands off eachother. And that's pretty difficult when you're both at work! But from then on he closed himself off, and he still is very hard to reach. He's in the middle of changing jobs and has fights with his boss. I can understand it's not good for his libido but I wander if there's more to it...

You see, he has a girlfriend but he misses the great sex. And what's more, he's been pretty badly hurt in the past. His ex-girlfriend slept around with her co-workers for a year before he found out. So why is he on the verge of doing the same now to his girlfriend? Does he really love her anyway, if he wants to have sex with me? And why is he suddenly keeping me at a distance? Is it because of the job or is he afraid of falling in love with me? Is it a matter of trust that's standing in between us? It's almost impossible to speak to him in private, he's doesn't return my messages and I can't make him to meet me outside our work. Us Cappies are very loyal and faithful so that's not the problem...

I don't know what to do with this guy! How can I make him open up to me, so that we can talk about it? I haven't given away my heart yet because I'm also not sure if he's the right guy, but if we don't meet in private we'll never find out!

Comments please! He's a true Scorpio so it's not hard for you to understand what's going through his mind I guess...

Seagoat

Gosh! ANOTHER Scorpio victim! I just read about a very similar situation! Hon..don't take this the wrong way but Scorpio is using sex as a wepon. He's obviosly VERY hurt. Scopios are very deep and surpisingly VERY sensitive. They are very vengeful and that's obviosly what he's doing, usind sex as vengenge on his girlfriend. And you just happen to be his unsuspecting victim! Whach out Cappie, Scorpio knows what he's doing. Do you—!!!

Gosh! ANOTHER Scorpio victim! I just read about a very similar situation! Hon..don't take this the wrong way but Scorpio is using sex as a wepon. He's obviosly VERY hurt. Scopios are very deep and surpisingly VERY sensitive. They are very vengeful and that's obviosly what he's doing, usind sex as vengenge on his girlfriend. And you just happen to be his unsuspecting victim! Whach out Cappie, Scorpio knows what he's doing. Do you—!!!

Taurus Lady

But why should he try to hurt his present girlfriend? She's not the one who hurt him! But I know, on one moment when I asked him why he wanted to do the same to her as his ex-girlfriend did to him, he said: because I don't care anymore! That was before he closed up, maybe he's having second thoughts on whether to go through with it. Good for him and me, I don't want to be used just for sex anymore. If he wants me he has to take the whole package so that means he needs to talk and open up as well! So I don't consider myself as a victim, I'm too smart for that. If he ONLY wants to have sex he'll need to find someone else.....

I'd also like to have some replies of some Scorpios here! Thanks Taurus girl!

I still haven't had an answer from a Scorp...can anyone help me? I read a horoscope that tells me he's got a struggle between his head and his heart! I don't know if it fits the bill here, after all that horoscope is meant for millions of people, but it gives me hope...

Can you Scorps help me??

Hi Cappie girl!

Scorpio female here. This is my feeling: he is definitely having second thoughts. That doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have feelings for you; in fact there is a chance he is closing up and pulling back because he doesn't want anyone (you OR him) to end up being hurt in the long run (which tells me he at least cares for you). If that is the case, then that's a GOOD thing; it means he's not just out to get vengeance. One thing about scorpios that doesn't seem to be often mentioned in horoscopes and astrological profiles, is that although we are an emotionally-driven water sign, we ALSO can ponder things to no end. We can analyze something to death and BEYOND. Part of the reason we do that is because we (most of us at least) know what kind of damage we could potentially cause if we only took action based on our feelings rather than thinking things through. Even though occasionally, we DO take action on our feeling alone, forgetting the consequences until it's too late.

I agree that he should want you in your entirety and the only way to be worthy of that is by giving as much of himself as you can give to him. So if he keeps on and keeps on with the closed-off stuff, I would seriously pull away from him and let him come to YOU when he's ready, if you're not too peeved at him already for his weirdness (which would be my reaction, but you may be more tolerant). Ask him bluntly (or even hand him a short note) saying something to the effect of, "I will leave it alone after this, but I need to speak with you in private just so things between us can become more clear for me, would you be willing to do that, or is this a bad time?" Something like that. He needs to understand that you deserve clarification if things are to proceed. I hope some of this helps!

Love,
Heather (phoenix_rising)

But when scorps hurt, they hurt badly don't they? And don't scorps do a little push and pull dance? I think scorp may use sex as a weapon, but not necessarily to hurt another person, although maybe, but also to fulfill their need - to feel attractive, sexually desirable, and to feel intimacy, which i think they really need. But I have seen scorps approach, retreat, approach, retreat... and generally I see them as having to orchestrate so that things go according to their timimg and needs. If a scorp is not ready, he is not ready. Pushing will only make him retreat further. He needs to be in control of the situation.
I agree with the suggestion of clearing the air, pulling back, and letting time take care of things. Also, I think scorps need to know that you are sincere and real. testing, testing, testing. They can be brutally honest so I don't see them stringing anyone along. If he weren't in someway interested or didn't care, he would have brutally told you that by now. On the other hand, perhaps pusdhing the issue will allow you to get the answer you need. Either way, the air would be cleared...

Not an easy case isn't it my dears? I've read a lot about Scorpios and their behaviour in the past weeks so I do understand a lot of his doubts and behavior. That's why I've felt frustrated, but because I can understand at least part of him I also have been patient with him. Last week was kind of an experiment, I've been more daring and more flirting but also showed him very clearly I cared for him. I tried to be less anxious and intimidated and responded more to his jokes. He may be scared to open up to me but I'm also still intimidated by his power!! So it's a two-way problem....

I think he's afraid to trust life, he's had so much disappointments that he doesn't trust a good thing even if it stands right in front of him! And he doesn't trust me, afraid that I will betray him with someone else some day...And yes, I know he cares for me, the question is: just how much? Is it only friendship, or the need for sex or much more?

So I like your suggestion about a little note, I've done it before and it works well for me. I will tell him I really care for him but I also don't understand what he really wants from me. And if he wants to talk to me in his own time, so that we can understand each other better....And I AM sincere and real, he only needs to trust in himself, he deserves something good in his life for once!

I will let you know what happens or doesn't happen this week alright? Thanks for the very usefull advice my dears!

Love from Seagoat

Seagoat, I wish you luck--just be sincere (which you clearly are) and upfront with him, and you will see him gaining trust in you in small ways over time. And don't show that you're intimidated by him. Show it only enough that he knows you respect him, but not so much he thinks you fear him. You go girl! : ) Tell us what happens...

Love,
Heather (phoenix)

Hello Scorps!

The story continues....if he knew I was talking about him like this he's go through the roof, but I need it to get to grips with this guy's behaviour! Thanks for listening....

He's my co-worker and I've worked with him for the past two days again. Remind me never to work with him if I don't feel good because he can be a real tiran if things don't go well! But I know it's not personal so I can handle his anger quite well nowadays. I can feel the trust growing between us and it feels good! I'm not really afraid of him anymore and can even answer his pointy remarks, so we're interacting with eachother in a more powerful way (I have Taurus as a Rising Sign, so sorry!). The most important thing is that we trust each other, we still like each other after work!

As bossy and moody as he can be during work, he can be very charming and sensual afterwards....We had some conversations and he still opens up to me even more. He's telling me more about himself and his eyes really shine! He doesn't make a fuss about other male co-workers anymore, surprisingly. Maybe he finally begins to see I'm serious and honest with him....I'm VERY charmed with him, still shy when we're alone, I have to trust him more also. But in a sexual way we communicate perfectly, even though we haven't had more than small moments together so far!

To cut a long story short: we will definitely meet in private soon....I don't know what kind of relationship it will become, so we still need to talk more about it. On the other hand my heart says he's sincere and maybe it will grow into something substantial. So I'll just have to be patient with him, you Scorpios don't react good to sudden changes or pressure, do you? I think we will both enjoy this relationship, no matter what kind of relationship it will be. I will keep a close eye on my heart alright?

Greets from a Seagoat

Here I am again!

I'm learning so much about you Scorpios by reading the posts here....amazing... And as my friend is a Scorpio as well I'm learning to understand him better without him knowing, hehehe! Speaking of an advantage....

No I'm serious here! They say Scorps love to play games but I'm willing to play also. He knows I care for him and I tell him I miss him during weekends. It's part of my character to be honest and I don't mind he knows.

But I know he also cares for me by small things: he asks how I'm doing, notices small differences, gives me easier work if possible, always asks me to be careful when we say goodbye....yesterday I saw the seriousness in his eyes and was really moved by it! And the fact that he tells a lot about himself, more than he even asks, his face relaxed and his eyes shining....He doesn't bother putting a mask on when we're alone, that's for sure! There's even a friendly competition between him and another male co-worker I like, he tries to show me he's better than him.

And me? I'm just looking at him, listening, trying to show him understand him, and look him straight in the eye! And in the mean time I'm impressed by his strength but not by his anger, I'm not afraid when he's angry. He cares a lot about his work, it even comes before sex or other people.

And that's what gives me power over him...his need for sex! So he won't abandon me easily, if I can satisy him, it's the most important thing he misses in his life. So I'm really charmed by the fact someone needs me so badly.... And I need him because I can learn from him to be passionate, strong and confident. So we benefit both, I just don't know how strong our bond will grow. He still has a girlfriend but she doesn't like sex, and it's really important for him. So we'll see how things go....let him call me if he wants, he has to do something to get me! But if he wants me he can have all the love and sex he wants....boy do I sound like someone falling in love!

Jupiter promises me a year full of sex, money and power! So I'm ready to kick some a**!

Seagoat

It's just a shame that he already has a girlfriend and can't be grown up enough to break off with her before courting you. I know you didn't ask my opinion but I just wonder how he will treat you moving forward if he treats his girlfriend this way now?
Be careful Taurus lady!!

I meant Capricorn!!

hehe....

this story sounds WAY too familiar. Just another goat-girl feelin your pain here.
All I gotta say is BE FIRM. BE STRONG. Don't let him get to you, because when he's got you, HE'S GOT YOU and it's a beast of a spell to shake loose.

Oh dear....

I know I'm getting my hands in a hornet's nest here....so I promised myself I wouldn'get into this until we TALK first! So that means he has to call first, then we talk and only if I know what kind of relationship it will become I will act....

And I will be clear to him: if he's only in it for the sex, and if I start to love him some day I WILL make an end to it! I DO NOT want to end up as a mistress who longs for some attention of someone who prefers to have two relationships at the same time! As long as it's for sex for both of us it's fine....or maybe it will grow into something more, but that means he has to break with his girlfriend.

I've really transformed in the past year, I've become a strong Cappie, and the next year will be filled with power and sex. And I WILL use that power to break free as soon as I know I'm abused alright?

Thanks for the advice anyway...😉

Seagoat

My Mars planet is in Scorpio my dears...does that comfort you?

Seagoat

Oh, Yes

Seagoat, I've read and re-read your postings on this thread, and this is what I have to say: First, somehow find out exactly what it is that he currently wants from you so that you're not surprised if you are intimate and then you don't hear from him. I'm not saying that will happen; who really ever knows what's going on in the mind of another? But Scorps can sometimes exhibit odd behavior when sex and (if there are any) deep emotions are involved. We can run very hot and cold--passionate and dispassionate. It can be confusing for those who aren't prepared for it. So do your best (even though you may not be able to glean much from him verbally) to find out the level of his interest in you.

The second thing I have to say is that assuming that you become aware of his intentions and depth of feelings he has for you, and you agree to whatever (albeit unspoken) limits or terms he wants placed on his relatioship with you, then more power to you. However, and I hope this doesn't sound at all harsh, but I very much feel that real power through sex comes from meaningful sex, rather than sex which is purely for physical gratification or release, so that after he's gotten what he wants from you he goes back. I don't like the idea of anyone being so let down by the outcome of a "no-strings" sexual relationship. I'm sure a lot of us have been involved in one, on either side of it, and experienced the temorary elation before the inevitable breakdown. Maybe it's because I'm a Scorpio and so much emotion is tied to sex, that I can't bear the thought of the whole mistress thing. I just think it usually ends badly for one or both people--not to mention the spouse. And it sounds to me like you're not going to be the mistress.

Just watch out for yourself and your own well-being, because realistically, you are the only one in control of that. You do have a measure of power in this situation--don't forget that with power comes conscientiousness and responsibility. He can always go back to his wife, work things out sexually with her, and so on...so who has the most to lose in this situation? You sound very intelligent and I'm sure these are things you've already thought of, but I just wanted to give you my take on the whole thing. I hope something works out where nobody gets hurt.

Heather : )

As long as he is with someone else i.e marriage he will never be yours! No matter how good or wonderful the sexual experience. If he is not willing to move out of his current relationship, then that is all it is going to be, just sex! You can chaulk it up as a wonderul memory or become hurt and all the rest that goes along with a non-committed intimate relationship!

Best to you and I hope everything turns out the way you want it to.
Susan

Hello Heather!

You sound like an intelligent person as well, I always enjoy reading your posts! I think you should become a psychologist, you take great care of people's wellbeing my dear!

As for my case: first of all, he's not married but he's had a girlfriend for 6 months now. She wants to marry him but it's obvious he doesn't. He speaks of her as a "sweet girl", somehow it doesn't sound like someone completely in love. He'd known her for 6 years before they became involved, and only after he had broken up with the girlfriend who betrayed him. So, in my opinion, he's in a "safe" relationship now, because when you're with a girl who's not interested in sex you know she won't betray you with other men...you know what I mean? And I've met her once, the first thing I thought was: "she's not the right girl for him", that's when I even didn't know this guy the way I do now! It was intuitive I guess...

So that's what he really misses...the sex in his relationship. He speaks of sexs as his most important "hobby" and in one or two weeks time he'll have plenty more time for it he said with a smile.

And I agree, sex is not just for the physical gratification, it's a bonding between two people, to me it's very meaningful and hopefully also to him. He's never had sex just for the sex, no one-night stands or worse he told me!

So what to do with his girlfriend....I don't know, I really want to know why he takes the risk of hurting her. She obviously loves him and now he's willing to betray her, and it does bother me. And he must love her as well, otherwise he wouldn't have had a relationship with her, even without the sex. She doesn't like sex, he couldn't even remember when he had sex when I asked him!

So I will make sure we'll talk about what kind of relationship it will become and how often we meet. And if he's willing to consider giving up on her, to protect her from even more pain. If he does love her he should be willing to consider...for HER own good! But being a Fixed Sign it will be a tough decision for him, in both cases she will feel hurt. I think he hopes he can get away with it, at least for a while, Scorps can be very secretive I know. But just how far are you willing to go? And how selfish is it to have an affair?

Pffff....very complicated but worth talking about! I appreciates honesty so'he can't refuse me being honest with him...right? We'll see....

Anymore useful thoughts on how to talk to him dear Heather?

Love from Seagoat

Why are all my post being deleted?? There may have been one or two not so nice words, but it was pretty tame to some others! Not that I really care! Just wondering.

To CG,

Maybe he (Mr.Scorp or whoever) likes his life just the way it is! Maybe he has no intention of moving out of it, and maybe you just plug in a little free time in his otherwise 'full life'. Did you ever consider maybe he is afraid to move out of it? He might not like change and may have been through enough and dosen't want to upset the boat anymore. Some people will stay or settle because at least you know what you are in for. On the other hand, some of us our afraid of the unknown and need ALOT of time to consider all the ramifications of starting something new. I wouldn't base too many hopes on such a one sided dream.
Good Luck,
S

And I am Lib/Scorp cusp with Lib moon, Capricorn rising and Mars in Cancer.

Yes I know Scorpio is a Fixed Sign, and I suspect he's got Taurus as a Rising Sign, considering several other traits of him. I know I'm taking a risk here....but like I said, if I fall in love with this guy and things stay the same for him I will end it. I will tell him that from the start so he knows it as well. It's not fair if he wants to continue having sex while I'm feeling jealous of his girlfriend! So I will give him some time, to see if something more can grow out of our relationship. I can imagine he's afraid to change and to believe in a good thing, after all the bad things that have happened to him.

Seagoat

Just one more thing....

I really think he's one of those kind and insecure Scorpios. He's not evil in any way! I've seen parts of his insecure sensitive side, and the fact he's showing it to me without asking, tells me he really cares for me! And I care for him....so we'll see!

Seagoat