Hard on Cancer's heart with Scorp men. Dang.

I did what I had to do and cut off communication with the Scorp I had previously asked about regarding his darkest secret that he told me.

We had text earlier in the week last week, I didn't ask if he was dating the gal I seen him with two weeks before and our texts that day went on for a few hours and seemed like we were back on track of bs??ing like before. Sat. night I saw him again at another event that I didn't tell him for sure I would be at, he came up to me and talked briefly and asked if I liked what he was wearing so I thought maybe there was hope. Ha. I saw them a few mins later walk out together??_.the same gal he had shown up with at the event two weeks after he and I had been together. My heart sank, considering a month ago we were sleeping together and seemed to have had such a connection, and something he said he rarely feels. Me neither.

Later, I saw him talking to the person that involved this secret. I could see the pain he had, and knowing he felt like all he wanted was a punch in the face from the guy. I went up to him and told him it was going to be okay, we talked about it for a few minutes but she walked up and put her arm around his waist from behind. I walked away. The whole night I did my thing, and acted like it didn't bother me. Towards the end of the night I saw him dancing provocatively with her but kept his back to me the whole time, and it killed me!!! But I did my own thing, and didn't let him see I was dying inside. I ended up leaving with my ex boyfriend and a few friends to bar hop, nothing happened between us because I wouldn't allow it, and text Scorp the next day because I knew it was going to get back to him if it hadn't already. I didn't want him to think I was already in bed with someone new, let alone my ex.

I decided Monday after seeing them dancing and text him it bothered me and I was being assertive by telling him this and wasn't trying to interfere with them or anything at any point since I saw them together the first time two weeks ago, and too I felt like I needed to be there for him when I saw him talking to that guy and wasn't interfering with him and her. That I liked him and hoped we would??ve worked it out but had been putting it behind me and respecting his decision. But after seeing that unless we run into each other (only by luck in my mind because we rarely saw each other before we hooked up), or I heard from him I needed to be going my own way and I can't be and wo

Con't wall of text

I needed to be going my own way and I can't be and won't be initiating any more contact. I didn't expect a response, and there wasn't any.

Was it wrong to tell him it bothered me seeing them dancing? I wanted to show him I could be assertive, and also too if he questioned if I had been serious about him??_a little reassurance I had been because I was and am 😢 I began wondering if he wanted or had wished I would've been more assertive the day of the 'big failed date with double dating with his best friend.' He made a comment last week telling me way to be assertive when I wasn't putting up with some crap at work with some yahoos. And was it wrong to have tried to assure him without him asking but giving him that info without a prompt I hadn't hooked up with my ex, one he knew I had a hard time when we broke up. I had told him I was past that guy, but I didn't want him to wonder if maybe I wasn't and then put him closer to this new chick.

Thoughts? Perceptions? I am more confused than ever, and feel like I couldn't have meant anything ever let alone any of the things he said he felt for me. Even if he would??ve said —good riddance??. And I didn't tell him for a reaction, but something I felt I had to do. I couldn't pretend to be okay with it because I still really like the guy just was trying to put it behind me and go on with life. Makes me wonder if he did this with her to spite me? Is it serious with her? All the crap that runs through a persons head. Having dealt with a —silent?? scorp before, I know it could be a good thing or a bad thing with the silence??_but damn, now I'm second guessing myself on everything. I'm pretty sure of a yup or no with guys, and amputate within mins at times of meeting someone, but to fall hard and so fast kills me both inside and if I had read this kid wrong the whole time. SMH.

Wow how can you see your ex with another girl only after a month and not want to kill yourself?

I don't talk to ex's at least for a year or until I am over them.

@ Sag ^^^ We hadn't dated all that long, but had spent time together and conversations that lasted hours both on the phone and in person. Texting from sun up to sun down everyday, and at times in the middle of the night LOL He, I guess, had always had a crush on me, and whenever he saw me in the past would watch me whenever he saw me. I'd seen him a few times watching me, and last fall was staring at me with this look of almost hate on his face so I purposely acted like I could care less who he was...knew his name, and face but hadn't put two and two together it was the same guy until my Mom introduced us early July. He told me he already knew me and who I was LOL

That's where it kills me because it was instant with us, and like we'd known each other for a full lifetime. It was so easy with us, and damn the sex was out of this world LOL I think what hurts the most is he told me he wished he would've and should've married me years ago because he knows/knew we would have or be in a wonderful marriage, have beautiful kids, and be so happy together. And we have so much in common and more than he could've ever hoped for with me or imagined. And then sh*t the fan that first 'official' date we went on for the weekend.

So for me? I don't fall that fast for guys, and when I do it normally lasts or at least there is always a connection even after it ends. Like I know 'right now' if it will go somewhere, and that's where I kick myself because I knew the night we met it would go someplace. Almost two months later, and here my heart is completely broken for putting it out there for someone, and I hadn't dated in a year...nobody but one lunch date 6 months ago. And Scorp knew this too. So it makes me wonder if two weekends ago he wanted to pay me back for something. But to be watching me while he was with her? And then to be there though this last weekend with her, talk to me when she wasn't around, yet dance right in front of me? And then not say a word about me saying I gotta fly, can't do it after seeing her and him..can't be a part of his life. Christ, feel like a 13 year old with a schoolboy crush.

@ elly ^^^ Yeah, I needed to tell him for myself. Not for him. I've had too much life experience to realize and know it wasn't going to work with communicating still, and I wouldn't want him or her for that matter to feel or think I was interfering...he made a point of having me see them together both 2 weeks ago, and then of course dancing like that within feet of me while I was busy dancing and doing my thing. Although in a sense I did want him to know I wasn't hooking up with my ex, it was important to me for him to know that so it wouldn't hurt or anger him if he did hear it. I wanted to believe we had enough of a connection and cared instantly about one another that he could trust what I was telling him, and that it mattered to him.

As for being assertive by sending the text and telling him he was seeing the assertive me, for once I felt like I needed to be...both for my sake, and to show him too I can be becase I do think there was that part where I should've not let his best friend get the best of me, and staked my claim to him ...just like this new gal did when she put her hand around him when we were talking about that guy. But not to exert assertiveness to interefere or gain a reaction from him. I expected none, but in all reality for him to have said nothing makes it harder, ya know? Didn't think it would care or bother me, so to have it feel that way now? Second guessing myself, him, and all of it...did I over react? Ya know? The psyche starts playing on ya...did it tick him off, sad, or's thinking who gives a shit? Ya know LOL

Posted by OceanDeep
@ Sag ^^^ We hadn't dated all that long, but had spent time together and conversations that lasted hours both on the phone and in person. Texting from sun up to sun down everyday, and at times in the middle of the night LOL He, I guess, had always had a crush on me, and whenever he saw me in the past would watch me whenever he saw me. I'd seen him a few times watching me, and last fall was staring at me with this look of almost hate on his face so I purposely acted like I could care less who he was...knew his name, and face but hadn't put two and two together it was the same guy until my Mom introduced us early July. He told me he already knew me and who I was LOL

That's where it kills me because it was instant with us, and like we'd known each other for a full lifetime. It was so easy with us, and damn the sex was out of this world LOL I think what hurts the most is he told me he wished he would've and should've married me years ago because he knows/knew we would have or be in a wonderful marriage, have beautiful kids, and be so happy together. And we have so much in common and more than he could've ever hoped for with me or imagined. And then sh*t the fan that first 'official' date we went on for the weekend.

So for me? I don't fall that fast for guys, and when I do it normally lasts or at least there is always a connection even after it ends. Like I know 'right now' if it will go somewhere, and that's where I kick myself because I knew the night we met it would go someplace. Almost two months later, and here my heart is completely broken for putting it out there for someone, and I hadn't dated in a year...nobody but one lunch date 6 months ago. And Scorp knew this too. So it makes me wonder if two weekends ago he wanted to pay me back for something. But to be watching me while he was with her? And then to be there though this last weekend with her, talk to me when she wasn't around, yet dance right in front of me? And then not say a word about me saying I gotta fly, can't do it after seeing her and him..can't be a part of his life. Christ, feel like a 13 year old with a schoolboy crush.

Oh I see. So you were just messing around like light dating and than it didn't go somewhere?