How to survive a horror movie!

When it appears you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.

Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.

Do not go search for something in the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.

If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not speak, or if they speak to you using a voice which is not their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you the grief in the long run. *NOTE* It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.

When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off or go alone.

As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell. Never stand in, on, above, below, beside or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum or any other house of the dead.
If you are searching for something which caused a loud noise and you find out it's just the cat, leave the room immediatey if you value your life.

If appliances start operating by themselves, move out.

Do not take *anything* from the dead.

If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a good reason. Take the hint and stay away.
Don't fool around with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you are doing.
If you're running away from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, developing a fascination with blood, glowing eyes, foaming at the mouth and increasing hairiness, get away from them as fast as possible.
Stay away from certain geographical locations. Such as: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog, the Bermuda Triangle or any small town in Maine.
If your car runs out of gas late at night, don't go to the nearby deserted looking house to call for help. Likewise if your car has broken down, and the only refuge for miles is that creepy old mansion/castle on the hill. Stay in the car.
Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, lawnmowers, butane torches, smoldering irons, band saws or any device made from deceased companions.

If you ever visit some distant planet and find objects that look like eggs, LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!
Then when one of your spaceship's crew members finds a hideous parasite attached to his body (as a result of breaking the pervious rule), don't let him back on the ship.

When a hideous alien menace is hunting you (as a result of breaking the previous two rules) NEVER wander off alone to hunt for the ship's cat.

If someone tells you to do or not to something (example: DON'T fall asleep, DON'T go out there, DON'T go look for the homicidal-chainsaw-wielding psychopath by yourself) by all means, LISTEN TO THEM!!

haha !! I love them ! Thanks !

Your welcome!

Rock Salt.

What?

I was adding to your list. Rock Salt is a preferred spirit and demon deterrent. You know that whole deal where you spill the salt then throw the salt with your right hand over your left shoulder to ward off evil thing. There's also some biblical implications with salt too. Silver is a big too. Lots of things don't like silver. Iron has some similar applications with silver too. In olden times people use to use Mercury also known as Quicksilver back in those days to ward off or kill demons. But I think the best thing to do is to have an arsenal of weapons and some knowledge of the occult if you were to survive a horror movie.

Alrighty then. Didn't know this was such an intellectual topic.

I'm not Sam. I'm Dean. I kidd. But I already knew that stuff before I started middle school. Kind of odd because I'm somewhat fond of the occult.

In middle school, I was somewhat fond of my French teacher's ass.

Nice.

I know. And it was a nice one.

Really? Man I wish I had your French teacher. Mine was some guy named Guy. I'm serious.

His parents weren't as fond of him as I was ofmy teacher's ass. I used to stay after all the time until I realised she wasen't into 13 year olds and was married. Besides think of what the guys would have said to her husband at work.

"No wonder she left him, did you see the bike handles on that kid's big wheel?"

"Not to mention he earns nearly 6 dollars a week in allowances... What a provider!"

"And he's so handsome with his glasses and braces. Every woman's dream boy."

"His parents weren't as fond of him as I was ofmy teacher's ass."

I meant to say, "Your parents weren't as fond of you as I was of my teacher's ass."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That was good.

Thought you'd like that one.