I thought we were past this

My Scorp male has dissappeared. We've been together for almost 1 year and everything has been going well. It's probably been 6 months since he has pulled this and even then, it would only be for a day or 2. We're going on 4 days. I've called him twice and left messages. Just "Hey, I'm on my way down to the club and wondering if you were planning on heading down" type stuff. No return calls.

It's not totally uncommon for us to not see each other for 3-4 days but absolutely no communication is unheard of, especially not returning calls.

Now I know that he is dealing with a lot of stuff with his elderly parents but anytime anyting has cropped up with them, I've been the first person he would call, even if it was in the middle of the night.

I don't know whether to be pissed or scared that something bad has happened. I'm still going about doing my own thing so it's not like I'm sitting by the phone waiting on him.

I suppose if he had been doing this on a regular basis, it wouldn't bother me so much but he really hasn't...not like this. Everything leading up to this has been just fine. We've been making lots of plans for his birthday, upcoming holidays, spring vacations, etc. So, this it just plain out of the blue.

I'm mostly venting here but does this crap EVER end with them? How am I supposed to react once he reappears, especially since I suspect he will act like nothing has happened (which will piss me off even more).

BTW, we are not kids (although this sure feels like the kind of crap they pull). I'm 48 and he's 55.

"And no, the crap never ends but you worry more now cuz you're not living together so you have no clue wtf is going on with him"

You are right. He doesn't have a cell phone (I know, it's weird) and rarely checks his email. Dropping by his apartment is tough because he has a security building and I don't have a key (suprise, suprise).

I was thinking about giving it another day or 2 and if I don't hear from him by then, either leave another message or email saying "Good news! I just check this weeks obituarites and you are not in there. Just thought you'd like to know."

it's ok to let him know that you're worried about him

"Do you know any of his family or friends, maybe you can contact one of them.."

I've got his brother's cell number but I'd hate to worry him, halfway across the country, even he's just being a jerk.

no, the crap never ends. and, if this makes you feele better, I'm no kid too, I'm 43 and he's 48. he 's denying he cares for me since two years. coming back to check me up, being a big baby pouting. I am at the point I'm disgusted. to end it ALL up I told him I'm going to bed with a pianist (which is true, but is nothing to me. just to cut the whole thing off, he's jealous of artists for himself, he wished e would have bee one but he has no artistic talent at all (I'm a dancer, he's a journalist). he didn't answer, this was by mail, he's in new york at the moment, but I know he takes all in. I hope is really the end, you know, he can sense is true, and being a scorpio he'll never take me, now, so I did it in part as a kind of kamikaze stuff, to end it forever. the crap never ends, not even when they are 90. good luck!

"Wait...wtf— He hasn't given you a key to his place?"

He was going to but at that time his son had them. He got them back from his son one of the times his brother was in town (to help deal with their parents) and his brother accidently broke one and he hasn't gotten it replaced.

I've never asked for one or anything so the only time I really even think about it is when something like this happens.

"I've done it in the past where I just retreat and refuse to respond to any form of contact. Dunno why but its usually when I feel overwhelmed.

My hubby used to get pissed off not to mention my family."

So, when you do this, do you realize what you are doing or are you just so deep in your own world that everything else is a blur?

hey elena! no, I dont' think so. or I dont' want to. the guy is insane, it's a lost acuse although part of me loves him still and alwyas be, probably, but I'm too addicted to life to wait no longer.what I had for him was like a violent wind, and a wind of such violence can tolerate no bystanding.. and people say the woman in the office used to left him cakes in the post, so I also told him not my role to be waiting cooking cake. I was "waiting" out of love, but it's not me. not my part. so sorry, feels like an emptiness, but I walk away from mental sickness, in the end.

Hi CJMolly,

Going through something similar with my scorp at the moment. We communicate daily, but lately he's been a bit strange. Didn't hear from him at all since yesterday afternoon, no response to my texts at all, which has happened before. Sent him a message in the afternoon asking if all was well, if he needed some space etc. Got message back within minutes: "ok no problem, how was your day?" LOL.

Something's been bothering him lately, but he won't tell.
Am going to ignore it for now, at least I know he's still alive.
They're so frustrating, and I'm seriously thinking about giving up on him.

I can understand why you're concerned and I hope he'll contact you soon.

Goodluck,

rammygirl

"Everything else is blanked out. The phone will ring and I'll just look at it...thinking...leave a message...OR...I'll get an email, read it but not respond. It's being in a place that's difficult to explain...but I'm not thinking that the other person is worried or whatever...I'm just thinking...leave me the treetrunk alone !"

I get that. I hate it but I get it.

Right now I'm fighting my own reaction to this which is to just shut off my phones and let him wonder what the hell happened to me. Partly because I want him to feel what I'm feeling right now and partly because I'm afraid that when I do talk to him, I'm going to say something I'll regret later.

"I leave him alone and let him come to me when he's ready...but the more space I give him...the more he doesnt want it, so then it turns out that I'm the one fighting for space"- this is so true. i try to pull back and give my scorp space. once in a while he steps overboard and gets slammed for that. and when he vents out about work, family, friends i try my best to listen and not offer my advice all the time 😉 it's hard at times. i am an aries and have opinions.

i guess that when someone wants to bel left alone, for long periods, often, not responding to anything,leaving other people sometimes in wonder, somteimes puzzled, other times hurt, or suffering, he has to be ready to get what he wants: to be left alone, actually. if you examine the phrase, literally, be left alone means to be abandoned. to remain alone.to be, alone. (watch out what you want, you might get it, said someone). I make no excuse for this behaviour, on anyone, not only scorps. only scorps sometimes use their sign like a signal, as to say "blame it on the scorpio stuff". we should all leave them alone and have a drink somewhere else with someone else. you know, this scorpio attitude, particularly this, brings out my Leo side,I've given them a taste of my own "leo medicine" more than once in this sense. but it's useless. just let them go.

Well, he called tonight. Not that I feel any better because, as I suspected, he pretty much acted like there was nothing out of the ordinary. And most of the conversation was about how glad he was that he didn't have to go out on a cold, rainy night like tonight. Then he proceeded to tell me how I needed to get some rest and "save my energy for our dinner date tomorrow night."

Screw that!!! I'm heading out to OUR favorite little pub shortly to spend some time with people and have fun. I guess now that I know he's ok and alive, I not caught between pissed and scared. I'm just PISSED! I probably won't do it but I'm half tempted to go out tonight and then cancel our dinner date tomorrow night because "I'm too tired."

4 days without communication is bad enough but then when he does call, he doesn't even want to see me. Not good! I'm beginning to smell the beginning of the end here.