'kill 'em with kindness'

..'make friends with your enemy'.. these are things that i find nearly impossible

is this a scorp thing. does it get easier with maturity? or am i alone? I dont know if i could ever get to the point of being nice to someone i do not like, let a lone someone who doesnt like me! how does that work?? i need to learn

you are not alone. Even at my age. I don't mingle with the people that I literally despise. the worst case maybe a Future in law that I don't like but have to play nice since well he/she is an in law after all but if id get my way... I wouldn't even if dare to think bout it.

Right.. Usually I'm great at pretending that person doesn't exist, so I don't 'hate' you nor do i care about what you think of me. I guess it's hardest when you have to deal with that person regularly.

Currently I'm thinking of people at work. I can't bring myself to be nice because in a way I feel like I am not being true to my feelings, like I'm being fake

Posted by aNEWday
...i need to learn

Why is that?

Hmm.. Would it help if you thought of it from a new perspective? Think of being kind to your "enemies" as a strategy? ..to bring yourself peace, to get something you want/need from these people, any reason you feel comfortable with?

My sun is Libra, the way I understand what a crabby jerk I was when i was younger is the combo of Scorpio, Cap placements, & I guess Gem moon can be emotionally two-faced, idk. I became an entirely different person after I met and married my husband. My Scorp placement is my dominant, in my first house and focuses in my love life. Honestly this change in me definitely qualifies as a transformation. I've had old friends literally tell me how much I've changed.

I dont know much about how Scorpio sun transformations happen. Do you have control over how you will change, what causes it, when, etc?

Or how about this.. try to find the positives in people you don't like. Everyone has postive and negative traits and tendencies. Focus on the positive if you want to be nice. The crazy thing is that once you manage you find something good about someone, maybe you might slowly come to even like them a little.

Posted by tiziani
It's about respect, rather than kindness imo.

Agreed. It's about character.

"Show respect to people who don't deserve it, not as a reflection of their character but as a reflection of yours. "

Posted by PhoenixRising

Posted by aNEWday
...i need to learn

Why is that?

click to expand

Bc I know it's the best or right thing to do

Posted by JanuaryCappie

Posted by aNEWday
Right.. Usually I'm great at pretending that person doesn't exist, so I don't 'hate' you nor do i care about what you think of me. I guess it's hardest when you have to deal with that person regularly.

Currently I'm thinking of people at work. I can't bring myself to be nice because in a way I feel like I am not being true to my feelings, like I'm being fake

Being nice doesn't have to mean your being fake. It just means your mature and professional. You ever thought of that ?

click to expand

I have, still doesn't feel that way to me

Posted by duchesslibro
Hmm.. Would it help if you thought of it from a new perspective? Think of being kind to your "enemies" as a strategy? ..to bring yourself peace, to get something you want/need from these people, any reason you feel comfortable with?

My sun is Libra, the way I understand what a crabby jerk I was when i was younger is the combo of Scorpio, Cap placements, & I guess Gem moon can be emotionally two-faced, idk. I became an entirely different person after I met and married my husband. My Scorp placement is my dominant, in my first house and focuses in my love life. Honestly this change in me definitely qualifies as a transformation. I've had old friends literally tell me how much I've changed.

I dont know much about how Scorpio sun transformations happen. Do you have control over how you will change, what causes it, when, etc?

I do think If we look at ourselves in a way to better ourselves, we do change. I think I have. I've also thought about it as a strategy and I've been given advice to do this. I guess in my mind it's hard for me to accept

Posted by duchesslibro

Posted by tiziani
It's about respect, rather than kindness imo.

Agreed. It's about character.

"Show respect to people who don't deserve it, not as a reflection of their character but as a reflection of yours. "

click to expand

I think this is even harder! It makes sense though I just need to convince myself lol. It's not like I'm mean, I am cordial and say 'hi' or smile when I walk by, but I've been given the advice to go out of my way to talk to these people.i find that will be very difficult

Posted by aNEWday
..'make friends with your enemy'.. these are things that i find nearly impossible

is this a scorp thing. does it get easier with maturity? or am i alone? I dont know if i could ever get to the point of being nice to someone i do not like, let a lone someone who doesnt like me! how does that work?? i need to learn

Nope, it's a Scorp quality! Scorpio philosophy: Don't forgive, don't forget. Another Scorpio philosophy: "Speak softly and carry a big stick!" That means, always remain humble, but punch the heck out of someone who gives you attitude for no reason!

Posted by SilverScorpio

Posted by aNEWday
..'make friends with your enemy'.. these are things that i find nearly impossible

is this a scorp thing. does it get easier with maturity? or am i alone? I dont know if i could ever get to the point of being nice to someone i do not like, let a lone someone who doesnt like me! how does that work?? i need to learn

Nope, it's a Scorp quality! Scorpio philosophy: Don't forgive, don't forget. Another Scorpio philosophy: "Speak softly and carry a big stick!" That means, always remain humble, but punch the heck out of someone who gives you attitude for no reason!

click to expand

Haha!

Killing your enemy with kindness is being fake. It's like being two faced. Why would I be kind to someone that I don't even like? Is that even possible?

I'm a scorp sun and there's a scorp moon female that doesn't like me. We went through drama and every time it dies down and people get over it, she makes up bullshit in her that pea brain head of hers and tells her friends that I'm after her. It's crazy because I don't say shit about her or talk to people that she's friends with, so where can she possibly be getting this from. So, tell me this, is it possible for me to be kind to her?

Posted by Arielle83
Naw I can't be friends with people I dislike.

I can't work with them either.

I work with many. It's hard.

Posted by KVZZMIR11
"Kill em with Kindness", as in keep contact and act all fake around them as if nothing happened?

I can't do that...

If someone pisses me off, I literally sever all ties with them completely.
I never see them again, and if I DO bump into them, I ignore them.

NEVER FORGET ANYTHING...It is not just " Scorpio thing," it is the RIGHT thing!

+1

Posted by aNEWday

Posted by duchesslibro

Posted by tiziani
It's about respect, rather than kindness imo.

Agreed. It's about character.

"Show respect to people who don't deserve it, not as a reflection of their character but as a reflection of yours. "

I think this is even harder! It makes sense though I just need to convince myself lol. It's not like I'm mean, I am cordial and say 'hi' or smile when I walk by,

but I've been given the advice to go out of my way to talk to these people.

i find that will be very difficult

click to expand

By whom, if you don't mind me asking?


If this was your boss... could it be that she just doesn't want

the hassle of confronting issues that really need to be addressed?

I'm guessing, of course... but something is off here.

And not all managers are good at dealing with conflicting personalities.


If, instead of addressing the problem with your co-worker, the boss has

suggested you "kill 'em with kindness" (i.e. you should compromise your

principles, instead of having your complaint addressed) -- then NO... she

should have dealt with it properly.



My interpretation of what duchess said, though: maintaining your own

dignity, and allowing others to maintain theirs, I think --

Like exo said: be professional.


Ultimately, that will benefit you more than anyone.

When I was younger I found it very challenging to forgive. As I grew older the words, "To withhold forgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die," really began to resonate with me. The anger I held onto was destroying me. So then I decided to Always Forgive, for myself, for the sake of my own peace and sanity, but NEVER ever forget, because forgetting is foolish and that's how people get manipulated and taken advantage of.

Also, I find I get a bizarre pleasure out of "killing them with kindness.." When you are super nice to someone who is determined to be a dickwad to you, it makes them SO ANGRY. And I enjoy making people I dislike SO ANGRY. It's fun. I realise that this is the terrible person side of me. Oops.

Posted by aNEWday
..'make friends with your enemy'...

is this a scorp thing...

The Lord moves in mysterious ways.

There's a difference between being kind and being indifferent. I have to work with people I don't like. I don't make it a point to say hi or to invite them out to lunch or anything, but if they need something I'll try to be helpful. It's not for them, it's for me. I'm a good person. I don't give a fuck about them.

Posted by Shruikan
There's a difference between being kind and being indifferent. I have to work with people I don't like. I don't make it a point to say hi or to invite them out to lunch or anything, but if they need something I'll try to be helpful. It's not for them, it's for me. I'm a good person. I don't give a fuck about them.

That's the best answer.

Next one is the funniest.

Posted by DarkFire
You have to keep your enemies close to your heart. It's the only way to find out their deepest darkest weakness, and if you keep your heart close to theirs it's that much easier to devour them whole when the timing is perfect.

click to expand

Posted by Arielle83
Naw I can't be friends with people I dislike.

I can't work with them either.

Me either, this is the problem i am having. i feel like i am constantly being fake. my scorp supervior, however, has it down to a T

Thats what i find funny. I've noticed many a scorp can do this, but i find it extremely difficult

Posted by Noreallynow
Killing your enemy with kindness is being fake. It's like being two faced. Why would I be kind to someone that I don't even like? Is that even possible?

I'm a scorp sun and there's a scorp moon female that doesn't like me. We went through drama and every time it dies down and people get over it, she makes up bullshit in her that pea brain head of hers and tells her friends that I'm after her. It's crazy because I don't say shit about her or talk to people that she's friends with, so where can she possibly be getting this from. So, tell me this, is it possible for me to be kind to her?

sounds like she may be jealous toward you, only reason i can see someone going out of their way to put down another person for no reason.

i know this all too well, on the receiving end that is. its sad actually

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by aNEWday

Posted by duchesslibro

Posted by tiziani
It's about respect, rather than kindness imo.

Agreed. It's about character.

"Show respect to people who don't deserve it, not as a reflection of their character but as a reflection of yours. "

I think this is even harder! It makes sense though I just need to convince myself lol. It's not like I'm mean, I am cordial and say 'hi' or smile when I walk by,

but I've been given the advice to go out of my way to talk to these people.

i find that will be very difficult

By whom, if you don't mind me asking?


If this was your boss... could it be that she just doesn't want

the hassle of confronting issues that really need to be addressed?

I'm guessing, of course... but something is off here.

And not all managers are good at dealing with conflicting personalities.


If, instead of addressing the problem with your co-worker, the boss has

suggested you "kill 'em with kindness" (i.e. you should compromise your

principles, instead of having your complaint addressed) -- then NO... she

should have dealt with it properly.



My interpretation of what duchess said, though: maintaining your own

dignity, and allowing others to maintain theirs, I think --

Like exo said: be professional.


Ultimately, that will benefit you more than anyone.

click to expand

no, actually from my mother lol. That and I observe it from others. Speaking of my boss, she is a scorp as well, but she puts on a really good front and talks about people behind their back. THAT annoys me. to me it equals fake, not professional. why? because why would you go out of your way to be so nice then talk about them. thats not professional.

Posted by DwellingOnMove

Posted by aNEWday
..'make friends with your enemy'...

is this a scorp thing...

The Lord moves in mysterious ways.

click to expand

what do you mean?

Talking bad behind someone's back is always a bad idea. Yes, clearly unprofessional. Being professional means fostering positive interactions with all of your coworkers, clients, bosses, etc, entirely regardless of whether you like them or not. It's always foolish to badmouth anyone at work. Keep it to yourself or write about it in your journal. Or to strangers on the interwebz. 🙂

My thoughts are this ... it takes a lot of energy to dislike someone. It is easier to simply accept that everyone is at a different stage in their lives (including yourself) and that liking them, tolerating them, or any thing other that changes the way you think, act or say is indicative of the power they have over you.

It is so basic an understanding that we all have good and bad ...

Did that make sense? ~thinks to self 'I know what I meant'~

I'll go back to studying now, I have to maintain my 96.3 GPA HeHe