Scorpi is back, but . .

Hi everyone,
I badly need insight into this dilemma.
Years ago I had dated a scorpio, and it was NOT about sex, but moe about friendship and companionship.
I knew he was married, with kids, but he was not living together with his wife, because he worked in a different country, and was only seeing them on vacations.
We did have a very special thing going, but I ended it then, abruptly after about 6 months together as a 'couple' and more as colleagues, because he did not take any steps towards ending his relationship with her.
Now, about 16 years of not hearing or seeing him ( I honestly did not care for heartache ) I get a phone-call from him, and I was flabbergasted.
He seems to have been looking for me for years, asking everyone I/we knew about my whereabouts, and I believe him.
He invited me for a 'cup of coffee' and for the sake of old days, I accepted his invitation.
I am divorced, and my kids are both abroad in college, so I have a lot of time on my hands; besided I do feel a bit 'lonely' at times, but I get over it.
He was still being 'vague' about his wife saying that he will talk more when we mee, which I assume he has not divorced, and probably never will, but I know for a fact that he stays for extended periods away from his family, as he works in a different country; besides he mentioned something about her that has not changed.
Any insight into this ( I am over 50 so is he ), and/or advice from 'faithful' scoprios here is much appreciated. Thank you
CapGrl

Thank you virgotme for your reply, but in fact I posted my message on the Scorpio board because I was looking for another Scorpio's point of View ( I take it that you are a virgo,. . . correct me if I am wrong ).
I know that Scorpios are very intense and passionate in ALL their endeavors, and this comes partly from my own experience with many of them and partly from reading about the characteristics of this 'enigmatic' sign, and it may be hard for an 'outsider' to really understand their motives.
He may be a 'cheater' which you probably implied, but you DID NOT go into his mind to know what was 'exactly' going on in there. If you have ever knowns or loved a Scorpio you will probably know what I am talking about.
He doesn't seem to me to be a perpetual flirt or one to hold 2-3 lovers at a time, like some other signs, but indeed I find him looking for a 'true' intense relationship that will grow with him and 'the one' toward perfection ( take for example Prince Charles and Pamela, how long did they wait to be united ( I am talking DECADES here ), will tell you a lot about their devotion and patience )
But indeed I also posted my previous message on the Capricorn board to in order to get a more 'practical' advice that will appeal to my more calculating mind , that which only mature capricorns are able to provide one another.

Sorry, just checked your profile and realized that I should have done so earlier. You ARE afterall a scorpio.

Hi CapGrl,

my advice is not to ask anything from the Scorpio board, you will never get the answer you're looking for, lol 🙂 I'm a Cap too, better to ask on the Cap board, here you can only comment on something, without any answers of course, LOL

To CapGrl:

My advice is to avoid him as long as he's still married. If he really wants you he will get divorced and pursue you after that. Never take a man who is "having choices". He has to be man enough to end his relationship before getting to another. Just my opinion, and it's very hard to know the real situation. I have left everyone who have been hanging in their old relationships, and I never even wanna look back.

"So, then your answer/advice is the same as mine..."

Hi virgogotme,

I didn't notice that you had posted your comment after my first comment here, so after my first comment I decided to tell my opinion without knowing you had given yours. We seemed to have very similar thoughts so I definitely agree with you 🙂

I was just kidding about that "not to ask opinions here". I also honestly think people are more enthusiastic to give advices on the Cap board for Caps. (How come I feel so..? I just do. Again my opinion.) So that was actually a sarcastic comment which is very common for me. No offence at all.

"*scorpio's secretive nature comes to mind*" I would say "men's secretive nature comes to mind" as I know many men with different signs who do the same..

Capgirl,

your scorpio may be a man of integrity and hence looking after his family well. do not expect him to leave them for you as he may be very tied to the family concept and above all he may need the social standing which he craves all through his life. but all the same, he may be looking for a real 'deep' connection , something he has never had , but craves for, and is hoping to get that from 'you'!! If you love him, LOVE him with all your heart.

Thank you everyone who replied to my message. I may agree or not tatally agree with most of what is said. I had always been against going out with a married man or even giving him a second chance, period.
That was before I realized how lonely life can be when you get older and want a 'friend' or that special someone to call or talk to, since both my kids are in college, and I may suffer from an 'empty nest' syndrome.
Where I live there are not too many unmarried men, and many of you will find it hard to understand this, and I will not go into details.
Anyway, after my first message, my scorpio and I went out for that 'cup of cofee' and the evening extended to over 5 hours. This is exactly what I like about Scorpio; they give the relationship their all, including time. Unlikely many others who would go out for a couple of hours at most including a 'quickie' or hope for one and then disappear lol.
We did kiss pationately at the end of evening, but after I came back home, I had second thoughts, and decided that would be IT. I am NOT going to go out with him again, unless he commits to me, and leaves her, which is VERY UNLIKELY.
So, now I am back to square one, to my old lonely life, but it is not all that bad afterall, I had made myself comfortable somehow, and I may decide to go and live where my children are, far away from here. My scorpio knew about my 'plans' but said to give US a chance first, and then see what happens, but I think I will take this short-cut and he know when to find me around, which won't be for too long.
He on the other hand is still leaving messages on my mobile, not aware that this tough cappie has changed her mind about 'US'. . .!
I hope this 'right' thing will please many of you.
Any novel comments or advice are still welcome, and no, there are not responses at the capricorn board. I am confused

married men shud be strictly off limits..they come with a lot of baggage and unless u really know the person well..it cud be a lotta of trouble..I am surprised Mycap that being a taurean or are u a capricorn , u are having these conflicting thots abt this person..

To Virgogotme

Yes married men should stick to their boundaries. But life is so full of twists and turns that you can never predict what may be going on between a man and his wife from what they show to the outer world. Deep connection need not be defined to a scorpion like you. If the sincerity and depth one demands is lacking from one's partner, and if this keeps on happening, then what do you expect in old age ? maybe he is continuing the marriage for his kids.
A SCORPIO IN A GOOD MARRIED RELATIONSHIP WOULD NEVER STRAY. especially since the sense of loyalty and justice is so strong in this sunsign personality.