Things the SIGNS think TO THEMSELVES

...or is it "their self" ??


Aries - If I admit that I'm wrong about the Earth being flat, then they will know how stupid I am. So I will just be loud and obnoxious and bring up some other time when THEY were wrong and divert attention to that issue instead.

Taurus - You can't imagine how little I care about your problem.

Gemini - I'm not indecisive...am I?

Cancer - I'd rather be shopping for antiques or talking to my mom.

Leo - They know I'm awesome but it would not hurt to remind them again since I haven't mentioned it for the past 30 minutes...cuz OMG what if they forget how awesome I am? Then it would be my fault!

Virgo - Sure is easy to get away with obviously psychopathic murders when I dress and act like a goody two shoes.

Libra - I don't have any expectation that anyone will ever say something smart enough for me to agree with them.

Scorpio - This section is censored to protect the innocent.

Sagittarius - It's no fun to make and invest in solid long-term plans unless you're going to drop them when you are 98% of the way to your goal. I'm sure everyone else I convinced to quit their jobs and abandon their families and move to Antarctica with me will understand that we're going to leave before our research is done.

Capricorn - Hey, if I scrape the food people don't eat from their plates and just re-cook it, it will be safe AND lower our food costs for my restaurant. Also, using cold water in the dishwasher might save us some money. I'm the best manager.

Aquarius - I'm a WATER sign. How can you be so stupid as to call me an AIR sign? Jeeze. AQUA - R I U S - Duh!

Pisces - If I put this feather on my nose and just close my eyes, I can fly away to... ( while driving a car with kids in it in a school zone )

Lol at Capricorn. I fucking spit out my water on the Pisces one, that was hilarious. 😆

But since Scorp got censored I'll put one in.

Scorpio- You kicked over my sand castle. I'll murder you and your entire family while they sleep and kill myself and murder you again in hell. "Johnny are you alright?" Huh? Oh sorry I zoned out let's get ice cream.

Posted by Impulsv
Actually snipes that is exactly what I will think." This section will be censored to protect the innocence".

Haha. Yeah, there's no such thing as innocence. We're all guilty. But I did laugh at that one though.