what to do

i have just started seeing a sag. he's great but there's someone holding me back from feeling too much for him. i was seeing this other guy for a while last year (leo) but it was kind of suspended as the timing was bad on both sides. i withdrew from him completely, making brief contact just before christmas which he was very pleased about but it made me withdraw even further because i feel i still like him too much.

the thing is, these two guys know each other and i feel like i should contact the leo to guage what it is that i feel for him and get him either out of or into my system once and for all before committing to anyone else but i don't want to do that behind the sag's back. i also don't really want to tell him beforehand as he will over react (on the basis that he thinks the leo's an asshole just out to play me).

i have been very open with the sag about my misgivings on having a relationship but it pisses him off as he feels like he's bearing the brunt of all my bad experiences but i don't feel ready to move on from the leo. i'm still pretty obsessed with him, although he has no clue probably. it doesn't help that both men live in the same area either. the chances of bumping into the leo are very high and i don't know how i'll react if i haven't had a chance to talk to him before. he already appears on the sag's facebook constantly and he checks out my reaction every time.

i don't know what to do.

yes. you're right. i kind of knew it but needed it confirmed. i guess if i continue i would be stringing him along? although i do genuinely like him.

You have to tell us what happened with the Leo and why bad timing? Puleeeeze?

Ya just let him go

the leo had not long split with his ex and wasn't ready for a relationship and what we had was pretty intense and scarey for both parties. i wasn't quite ready myself too for similar reasons. trouble is, i can't stay on the sidelines when i really like someone, i have to remove myself completely as otherwise i get paranoid about what they're up to so i didn't talk to him and removed him from facebook. i contacted him just before christmas as i had a new phone number and he was really pleased to hear from me but then my phone got stolen shortly afterwards and i've not given him the latest number yet and so he probably thinks i'm off with him again. i guess i'm scared to contact him now although i don't really understand why but it's probably the intensity of my feelings that holds me back.

i know i would have moved on completely had it not been for the fact that the sag knows the leo and it's brought it all back to me. i've been honest and up front with him about the leo which he doesn't like obviously but understands but one thing about sags is that they will not be fucked around and so i feel like i have to choose between them.