A little help from a male bull?

HI there, I'm new but have read a few threads and thought I could get a little insight. Sorry for the novel:

I met a guy online and we hit it off immediately. We talked on the phone for 2 hours and agreed to meet a few days later. He ended up trying to meet sooner but I had plans and then the day of the meeting we ended up talking for a half hour or so on the phone before getting together. The day we met we ended up spending around 9 hours together...he was a perfect gentleman the whole time and Ive never been so comfortable with someone. We seemed to have almost everything in common. When I finally went home he asked if he would see me the next weekend and of course I said I would. We talked throughout the week, had another 2 hour convo and got together again. During this time he told me that he had just recently gotten out of a serious long term relationship at which point I asked him if he was sure that he wanted to be looking again so soon. He told me he was okay with it and he felt he had a lot to offer...Any way. We got together again and were having a good time and though we didnt have sex, other things happened. I dont know that I need to go into detail, but as soon as an act was completed he kind of "freaked out" saying he had never had anyone do that before and wow and all that. He left the room and then came back and said he had this moment of clarity that he knew was going to happen after I asked him if he really wanted to persue a new relationship. He said, i just got out of a relationship and I dont know why I was on that website and said he didnt know how many guys I was talking to at the time but that i would be fine. He said hes dated crazy girls in the past and that he could do a lot worse than me and that it was hard for him to find someone that he could hold a conversation with and the fact that I could do that was great. I said I should probably just go home, he asked if I was mad and kept apologizing and said he hoped I didnt think he was an asshole but that there were worse things in life than someone thinking that. I told him that I wasnt mad...he said we could still have sex and hang out, I told him I knew what I wanted and it wasnt that so I was just going to go. Then, he called me after I left to make sure I got home okay. I emailed him 2 days later to tell him that he was a nice guy and that I sincerely hope he does whatever he needs to be happy and that while Im not looking for a FWB if he was ever bored/lonely give me a cal

l. That was 3 weeks ago and I havent heard anything from him. I honestly felt a connection, and I think he did too. He kept referencing seeing how this goes because he felt the same way (about almost everything we talked about: morals, values, music, movies, pets you name it...) Was he just looking for a rebound? Im curious if any one thinks I'll ever hear from him again. Ive heard sometimes people disappear for a while only to reappear months later. Any advice? Im a cancer by the way :/

Crab0514,

It was nothing. Really.

Well, i feel silly for thinking about it so much. Thank you though 🙂

Sorry about it not being very clear :/ Originally, when talking he stated he was looking for a relationship and he knew that I was too. After the "encounter" he all of a sudden said he had just gotten out of the long term relationship and didn't want to get into another one and that he wasnt even sure why he got on that website. At that point, I told him I would just go home which was when he said we could still have sex and went as far as to say we could hang out again the next day. But, I'm not interested in sleeping with him when he's just told me he had no interest in a relationship. I just thought his timing was weird..hadnt had sex yet. We were in the middle of an intimate encounter when he said all this to me. I figured he's not over his ex maybe?

Though I didnt want a FWB situation, we had amazing conversations which was why I let him know I'd be up for chatting...

It's obvious what happened. He thought you were a good girl, but you initiated a sex act too early and he changed his mind. Taurus men want good girls for a long term relationship. You probably activated some insecurities and doubts in him and he backed backed backed off. I don't know what you can do to remedy this. You already showed him you blow guys who could very well be perfect strangers.

For the record, I think this double standard in men is ridiculous. But it is what it is. Next time don't let YOUR insecurities get the best of you and make you think you'll hook him faster by showing him how great you can make him feel. It won't work, it'll do the opposite. Bull men who are serious, don't feel the need to RUSH.

@Crab0514

You did nothing wrong. The two of you vibed on all levels and you gave him an incredible blowjob...what is his problem?

My guess?
In the heat of the moment, he lost all of his senses, conflicted probably, his initial thought of you may have been somewhat jaded, yet the connection and your performance kept him intrigued enough to want to continue a FWB.

Pursuing this at the current time would not be such a good idea.

If he adheres to rigid traditional double standards (especially for a fixed sign as the Bull), he may always hold this against you. He will continue with a FWB with no prospect of a potential blossoming relationship.

Can this be redeemed?

If there is a slight possibility, sex can't be involved, there needs to be some time, distance and space place between the both of you.

Maybe in the near future, a possible courtship can be re-introduced.

But as far as the present situation goes, the FWB will be the only offer placed on the table...nothing else.

Posted by Crab0514
Sorry about it not being very clear :/ Originally, when talking he stated he was looking for a relationship and he knew that I was too. After the "encounter" he all of a sudden said he had just gotten out of the long term relationship and didn't want to get into another one and that he wasnt even sure why he got on that website. At that point, I told him I would just go home which was when he said we could still have sex and went as far as to say we could hang out again the next day. But, I'm not interested in sleeping with him when he's just told me he had no interest in a relationship. I just thought his timing was weird..hadnt had sex yet. We were in the middle of an intimate encounter when he said all this to me. I figured he's not over his ex maybe?

I agree with Rose, you got a little too freaky too soon for this Bull and now he just wants you for freaky sex. And he wasn't very subtle about it either. Don't let him insult you like that by excepting anything less than what you really want. Kick him to the curb, and start over with someone else. This time let the guy court you a bit longer before you start having sex with him. And yes oral sex or anything with your mouth or fingers anywhere is still sex. Penile penetration into the vagina is only part of sex. Good Luck!

Crab0514,

I'm not judging you or criticizing, just helping you get some understanding on his mindset and some dating strategies for the future.