Break Up to Make Up? How to tame the Player Bull?

What's the best way to handle a Taurus Player? Male Taurus how would a girl break up with you so that you would want her back?

I've been seeing (long distance) a Taurus - we get along pretty great, he says all the right stuff blah, blah, blah. But he's also been getting along pretty well and saying all the right stuff to several other women also lol. I suspect he has a little harem going. He has no idea I know. We're far from being exclusive, although he insists I'm the only one...I've been the sweet, cool, sexy Cancer woman - always very positive and supportive. I've had to do a couple aloof/disappearing acts every now and again to show him I'm independent and give him space. Lately he's been putting in even less effort than usual, and has been downright inconsiderate in some instances. I've given him an 'out' several times and he won't take it.

Anyway, I want to dump him, but in a way that he will make him smarten up and get his a $ $ in gear. I believe he cares for me, but he'll continue to take me for granted unless I show him that he is not indispensable.

So what's some of the biggest kicks to the huge Taurus ego?

Thanks!

Say you love Cappys LOL - thatll do it

"Anyway, I want to dump him, but in a way that he will make him smarten up and get his a $ $ in gear"

I'm sorry but maybe I'm missing something...If you're not exclusive how are you dumping him?

Also if you're seeing each other long distance and aren't exclusive why can't you both see other people?...

I do not think there is anything wrong with keeping your options open especially if there have been no discussion of exclusivity...

If you think he has a harem of women maybe you should do the same,that is date other guys...especially if you aren't serious...who knows you might meet someone better than him

I don't think playing the game you're thinking of will end up benefiting you since you are long distance and there are other females that he could turn to that live where he does...

I'm not being judgemental, just giving my opinion as a Cancer woman

as a Taurus women I know when im not really into to someone I wont let go but I wont show much effort and it may be because of the out of sight out of mind thing he is probably getting distracted if you guys are long distance and just began something I would see other guys nothing seriously but I wouldn't put my love life on hold when god knows what he is doing you cant control a Taurus so just play at his game I know that always drives me crazy not sure bout the bull guy though

Thanks so much for the replies...

Hotgal - So glad u answered. I've read some of your old posts, and OMG sometimes I swear they're the same man lol! I think you said '5 steps forward and then 10 back' and boy do I know that feeling.
We webcam, email and talk almost everyday. It's kooky cuz it is LD, but we're definitely in some kinda relationship - making plans to be together, travel back and forth, me eventually move there etc. It's not exclusive, but it is serious. It's not a light flirtation. Exclusivity isn't appropriate at this time, BUT what he's doing is more than keeping his options open. He is aggressively pursuing anything/everything, while pretending that I am the love of his life. You wouldn't think for a moment that I (or the feelings he claims he has for me) exist. Maybe 'dump' isn't the correct word, but let's just say he can't have anymore of my time. If he finds happiness in another woman, then all I can do is raise a glass and congratulate him. Maybe it's the cocky Leo rising in me, but I don't think he will.

Starfsh - My options are always open, and I do get approached a lot. I've been out on a couple dates here and there. If I met a man I liked half as much as him, I'd be out. But truthfully, that hasn't happened (yet). I could have my own little harem, but that's not what I'm about. I prefer to date men that I may have an actual long term interest in - I don't need my ego stroked. I think 'other men' is one of the things that bothers him most - he appreciates my beauty, but doesn't like the fact that other men do also. He'll make snarky comments out of the blue, then cover it up with a joke or say he meant something different.

GreatBull - Hmpf!! so right in a sense. But no one is more tenacious than the crab lol.
BTW, we are neighbors - I live by P park 🙂

Basically, he has begun to take what we have (and me) for granted. So when I leave I'd like to do so with the greatest impact. I need to move on. He needs to realize, on his own, that he's letting a good thing (actually the best for him) walk away...If he doesn't realize that then I guess I was wrong.

Cream, what would drive you crazy? I'm all out of ideas lol...

Cream, what would drive you crazy? I'm all out of ideas lol...
I've done the disappearing acts, ignored him, made him aware of others without admitting to it etc.
If you weren't into someone anymore, what could they do to make you 'miss/want' them? How do you feel when someone dumps you by basically saying "I don't think you're what I'm looking for, I don't think you're good enough for me"...Would it enrage you to the point of no return or would you want to prove them wrong?

Starfish - girl, thats my usual thing also - I call it the 'disappearing act' lol. I've done it a couple times with him and it's worked. He goes crazy trying to reach/find me. Becomes extremely attentive. When I finally respond he's an angel for like 2 wks then starts acting up again. Funny thing is he won't acknowledge my absence - all he will say is I guess u were busy with work or I thought u went out of the country (I travel alot). Only once, when I didn't answer him for over 3 weeks did he admit he was worried - asked if something was wrong.

Sry for all the posts all. I don't know how to edit msgs to condense.

"If I met a man I liked half as much as him, I'd be out. But truthfully, that hasn't happened (yet)."

That's not gonna happen while you are focusing on him and trying to figure out ways to get back into his line of sight...You need to just start to ignore him as much as possible....You might have met your Mr. Right and could be passing him along because you're still focused on this guy....I know you've built a bond with him, but don't let this stagnate you to the possibilities of something new and better. I won't tell you to just give up on him, just focus on YOU and your wants and needs more...

"If you weren't into someone anymore, what could they do to make you 'miss/want' them?"


That's just it hun, if they aren't interested anymore that there is NOTHING that you can do to make them change their minds....I mean at least that is true for me. When I am totally dunzo, there ain't nothing you could do to sway my attention. This hold extremely true especially if it was just something that just started and I was truly emotionally vested, then I am really like "Peace, I'm off this" and I'm not looking back.

I was NOT truly emotionally vested

Your advice is good and it's the direction I'm going in. I would definitely say that we are both emotionally vested. We both care a lot about each other, but that doesnt mean he is treating me like he should, and that's the problem. There's a saying "if you can't hear it, then you need to feel it". If he can't heed the hints I've been dropping then it's time he feels my true absence.
Irregardless of whatever else happens I'm making an exit - that much I do know. I want to leave with the highest probability that he will come chasing (hard). I guess I'm here to figure out the best way how. I know there are no guarantees, but I do believe in positioning oneself properly. Who knows if I'll take him back or not? I've never dumped a man who didn't try coming back, but I've also been able to figure out their achilles heel lol. With this Taurus I'm a little stumped. Only thing I come up with is ego.


GreatBull - Mos def! I always throw cool bbq's in summer, esp for the Parade.

Sheeeeet!! NovScorp you don't play LOL!!! True Scorp!
No, luckily I don't need to be so drastic and I do want the door open in case he cleans up his act. Funnily enough he's being a total sweetheart right now. I swear he has a 6th sense about when I'm getting ready to leave! But I'm playing right along making him feel oh so secure, and then BAM! I'm dropping the hammer.