confused sag man lost a taurus girl

Don't even know where to begin. I'm 28, she's 20, the age difference did bother, while everyone else seemed ok with it. I worked in the same building as this taurus girl, she is beautiful but i never paid her mind cuz she was involved at the time. Anyway, as time went by, i noticed her staring when i spoke to other girls in her presence. She was going tru a rough period(boyfriend cheated on her multiple times, she stayed with him). As far as i could tell during our interactions, she still loved him, so i kept my distance. All of a sudden, she starts using future tense with me and tell me she cut him off completely. I was skeptical of this that she could move on so quickly so i was cautious. I asked her if this is what she really wanted, she said yes.

So we continued, she got physical with me very quickly, again i was cautious but i started to like her too so i reciprocated. (honey moon phase). She texted me alot saying she loved me and missed me and stuff(after two weeks?). People at work told me she falls out of love as quickly as she falls into it. Things went well for awhile, i bought her a rose and had it delivered to her. Told me she wanted to be my wife and have my baby but i just couldn't believe her, she was moving too fast. People at work were persecuting her not me the whole time and for the life of me i never understood. Nobody is perfect i'm not perfect either. I tried to shield her from them but to no avail, she stayed with me for 3 months until the 24th of sept. she got distant, stop calling, texting, didn't want to speak to me, even told me to leave her alone at one point.

I should mention that on the 21st, i made her a simple dinner, picked her up after work, carried her on a look out overlooking the city, we spoke for awhile about her family and then we made out for awhile, she told me: "don't do anything behind her back", that was the last real thing she said to me. i told her i'm not capable of cheating. i assume she told me cuz of her last relationship, so i understood. I did all i could to find out what was wrong because i know how she keeps things pent up and that's not healthy. To no avail, i could not keep her, before i knew it she was with someone else. I'm still wondering if she just lost interest or she hated the gossip. I honestly want her back but knowing her personality am guessing it's already too late once she's bonded with the new person and the more i fight for her the worse it will get. should i give up? was i play

Funny I just happened to see this at the last minute on the front page on my way somewhere else...

I've had similar dealings with a Taurus girl myself in the past, situation slightly reversed as she was a couple years older than me. She broke up with her bf at the time, and she immediately started talking to me, and the connection was instant. It was almost unbelievable, it was like I had known her my whole life. It was going great until she stood me up on a date one night, lied to me about the reason, which I knew, but couldn't really prove, and then I found out the next day she spent the night with someone else. She tried to pass it off as nothing, and at that point I was so hurt by this that I distanced myself from her and basically tried to forget about the whole thing. Months went by with almost no communication, except for her calling me drunk a couple times to start fights with me for no reason. I met someone that I truly fell in love with, and I basically cut her out of my life. Until that person broke up with me. Almost immediately after, like 2 or 3 weeks, she started talking to me again, and was very pleasant and we had a lot to say to each other. One night, over BBM, after both of us had had a few drinks, she admitted that she had always wanted to be with me, but chose this other guy (who has cheated on her and generally been a POS) because she knew him from their childhood and he was close to home. We talked almost every free minute of the day for a couple months after that, and then all of a sudden she stopped one day because she said she couldn't leave her current BF, and we went back to (trying) to be friends. Things escalated and broke down again 2 or 3 times after that, each time with her getting more and more upset when I told her she had to stop doing this. The last time was the last time I talked to her for a long time till this past summer, when we reconnected and had a great relationship for a couple months. She went out of the country, and talked to me every day, until she got home. At that point, she basically almost cut me out. When I confronted her about it, she blew up, and cut me out of her life again, and I haven't talked to her since August. I've had about enough of Taurus girls for one lifetime, they seem to do this constantly, every one I know. It's maddening, and there seems to be no logic for it. She might come back to you out of the blue, with a convincing explanation for her absence, but knows.

Wow,i honestly never expected such a blunt description of her. Maybe,i'm still blinded by the memories of how we got along, she wrote me a poem i don't think i'll ever forget. No matter how hard i try i can't bring myself to hate her.

OP I am so sorry that you have had to go through all of that. I think that she has some real deep wounds that she has not dealt with??_maybe the ex or it could go deeper like childhood stuff. I know when I was much much younger, late teens thru early 20s, I dated a lot and jumped from guy to guy not really even thinking about if I was hurting them or not (something I am not proud of now). To be very honest and transparent with you it was because I had daddy issues??_a father that was never there for me and was very abusive with my mother. Because of this it made me believe that if I fell in love I would just get hurt and the man would leave like my father did. It's not that I didn't care about my boyfriends it was that anytime I started caring to much I would get scared and push them away and go to the next. Trust me if there are deep seeded issues in her from the ex cheating or childhood there is nothing you can do to change it and you are lucky that you found out now before giving more of your time and love. The only person that can change this in her is her. She will need to do some soul searching and confront her hurts and the demons that come with them. In general I think that Taurus women are amazing and not like the one you were with. I know that after I dealt with my issue I actually was the opposite of what I was before. Now I will not even consider dating someone unless I truly see something could be there because I don't want to hurt anybody??s feelings and I don't see the point in wasting my time or anyone else's. This also comes with age, maturity and wisdom. 🙂

I apologise for talking so much,but it's the only way i can start to move on. I admit i want back the way she made me feel. I've heard that her new guy has more money than me( better car,etc). I know the taurus girl looks for stability but i think she's only with him for what she can get. At one time she even mentioned she likes nice things and i could have given her that. In all respects, he probably is better than me.
What sugerbear said is what's been running through my mind since the break up, i don't want someone to use her or hurt her but i have no choice but to stay away.
Her mother and father are separated but the way she spoke about them she loved them both and her step dad too. Her mother and grandmother approved of me and they taurus as well, now i have to disappear with no explanation to them. Worst part is all the memories i have with her are still fresh. I just don't see how she could move on so fast, like we were never together.....

Aww you don't have to apologize??_that is what this board is about. It is a great place to come and talk or vent. I look at in the way of that is why we are all here is to help each other out in whatever way we can and to learn from each other. 🙂 You are right we do look for stability but most of the Taurus girls I know including myself don't need big flashy things??_I think the stability part is more just knowing that the other person is there by putting us first and making us a priority in their live. And just because he has money doesn't mean he is better then you so don't think that way.

I know that everything is fresh for you right now and it is hard but you will get through it. And the best part is that you will find somebody else that makes you feel that way again and next time that girl will feel the same way! Honestly your ex sound like she is bad news and really wont be good for anyone till she deals with her issues. Like I said before the situation sucks but I always look at it as a good thing when things like this happen better you find this out know then 2 yrs down the road. It actually saved you and saved you from worse heartache. So now go out with the boys, have some fun and soon you??ll meet someone new that will make your heart smile.

Confusedsag and Justasag, I am sorry for the way these Taurus girls have made you feel and treated you both. Keep in mind they seem to be just that GIRLS. I am Taurus, through and through. I never really paid much attention to the whole Zodiac Sign thing until my older sister brought it to my attention. I don't toy with ppls emotions and I sure don't sleep around and never understood jumping out of one relationship into another with out first dealing with the feelings and emotions from the last. We may have a lo of the same traits but its a choice to be they way they have choosen to be. Confused yours sounds like she has been hurt and now she is trying not to get hurt again. And Justasag yours sounds a bit like loose booty. There are real TAURUS WOMEN out there in the world that you will love and that would love you.

I just noticed that there was 2 different sag guys writting in here. Guys I have to agree with Taureanheart here you are both dealing with girls no matter what their ages are. It doesnt sound like they have grown up and dealt with the issues from their past. They seem to be more into themselves and not caring about who they hurt. Taurus women are not like that. That is why I told my story not saying that either of these girls stories are like mine but it was just to give the example of how emotional issues when not dealt with can effect a person and how they deal with things. It's sad that both of you were pulled in and treated the way you were. Hugs to both of you!!

Thanks to all for sharing. I had to get a real taurus girl opinion, since my ex is into star signs. I made it clear to her that i would always be hers during the relationship cuz she feared i would hurt her. I was so busy protecting her that i left myself wide open.

She always complained that they at work never persecute me, always her, i was always diligent at work while she would disappear some days(she's a party girl at heart, those days are behind me),that i always came out looking good while she looked like the villian but nothing i could tell them would stop them, they insisted she came from a shady background and that she wasn't for me. What about me? I'm not rich, i'm not a saint either but i was loyal to her, I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I hated the "nice boy" image the elders at work always gave me, they made up their minds about her not being good....

Regardless of what they say a sag man like me can settle once i'm allowed to pursue my ambitions, i really had it planned to take her wherever i went, told her that too. I know that once she matures she would be my ideal wife but if i wait on her, i'm only going to destroy myself. In the end, she gave me back my ring, never telling me why, i knew by this time i'd get no answers.

I simply told her to be careful of people pretending to be her friend, she is easily influenced, i know this. I kissed her on her forehead and told her to take care of herself and that was it. I walked away. I love the person she was at the beginning not the person she turned out to be.

I honestly can't forget the taurus girl i fell in love with and after all this i don't hate the side of her that left me. I miss holding her and kissing her when she needs it. Her eyes always told me what she wouldn't say but wanted. I'm ashamed to admit that for the first time since that day, i couldn't keep from crying as i write this.......

Idk. I think when my Taurus friend became frustrated with me not moving quickly enough with my feelings he hunted for a rebound, who happened to be a Sag. My gut always told me that he "initially" used her to make me jealous. I say initially because I dont know for sure what feelings were involved later down the line.

Both of you guys dealt with Taurus women fresh out of relationships. Both of you are Sags. I hope that you were not rebounds or used during "down" periods in their relationships, but that could very well be the case.

I was very affectionate once i got accustomed to us being together(about one month in) had given her a ring i held dear to prove i wasn't going to hurt her and was serious. Any number of things could have caused it. In the end i got what was coming to me regardless of how you look at it. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt even if i end up wrong. I could believe the gossip caused it but i warned her and asked her multiple times before our first date if that's what she wanted and she insisted. She's very stubborn. Still is

I do want to know one thing though, do taurus girls settle down early in life?

Posted by confusedsagman
I do want to know one thing though, do taurus girls settle down early in life?

I was wit the same man from age 16. I married him at 24. He for the past 5 years having been dealing with the after math of his affair. I tired of trying to make it work and I am seeing someone now, a Libra guy thats makes me feel like the only woman in the world that matters but he maybe more trouble than I can imagine. But its the woman she is not the fact that she is Taurus.

Do you think that she would fall out of love with this new guy? If she moved on this fast then he had to be there for awhile.

Yeah, i know i'm being naive, ignorant for my age but to be honest it's the first real relationship i tried to have in a while, a part of me hopes she does come back. I'm not totally over her but i'm trying to to start dating again just hate starting over is all

Well I was married by 25. He was a sag met him at 24 and married within the yr so I can see how things move fast between these 2 signs. We divorced 4 yrs ago. In my case the divorce was because he cheated...taurus's are actually very loyal once they have given their heart to someone.

If you are still in love with her and would take her back listen to BullGem everything she said is spot on.

I was warned after all. I know it's stupid and unrealistic to hope for her to come back but a part of me does, i broke contact after we spoke so i could at least try to build myself back up. What makes it harder is accepting that she's sleeping with someone else, she's cut me off completely anyhow, we still bump into each other at work but she avoids me like the plague,i act normal regardless. Wish it was that easy for me to forget.....

Well,someone gave me the lowdown yesterday. I found out that i was the outside guy. she was seeing the other guy and me at the same time for whatever reason. The other guy apparently is notorious for shady dealings too. He owns her now...

Posted by BullGem
Wow, confusedsag, this girl is not for you, neither is she for anyone. I really hope you move on from this. Try to find some closure and just get away from her. I hope you see now that she isn't the one for you. 🙂

Yeah, i see that now. i'm still attracted to the woman i thought she was but i don't think she'll ever settle out of the party life, especially with this new development. The taurus i saw at the beginning is my ideal wife but this one was playing me the whole time.....

Posted by confusedsagman
I know the taurus girl looks for stability but i think she's only with him for what she can get......

And if this is true this should be your wake up call. I think she has problems only she can solve. You playing captain save a hoe will only bring more pain and confusion to you.

Confusedsag — I'm so sorry to hear that. I think it is important for you to remember that the person you fell in love with and the person she is are two different things. I went through this with my ex. He found out what I was looking for in an man and relationship and then became those things in order to get me once we were married he dropped the act knowing that I am a woman with moral and values and take marriage very seriously. He though because of this I would stay forever which I did for 7 years, thinking that it was him I loved and things would change. Then one day it just hit me that he was not the man I fell in love with I fell in love with the fa?ade he put on to get me. It kinda sounds like she did the same with you. If this is the case trust me it's much better that you found out before marring this girl and going through bigger heart break and the effects of divorce down the road. I know that it is hard and my heart goes out to you but I think you dodged a bullet on this one! I also want to throw in here that what my ex did and what your ex did are not traits of their signs I think that some people are just manipulative and controlling and care more about themselves and their wants over others. My brother is a sag and I love that guy he is the best man I know. And as a Taurus woman and having a few close friends as some we are good people who care about others feelings and are all very honest.

Justsomeguy — I have read your post about your Taurus and I agree with BullGem it is nice to hear because it shows that your feelings for her are real. The reason that I told a little of my background on this post was to show how when a Taurus girl has been hurt deeply how it can affect us. I think it is because those we love we love very deeply. I know that what everyone see's is our strength because we are strong women but we are actually very soft on the inside??_we just don't always show it. The trust issues are hard I know because I have had those both from my father and my ex??_it is defiantly something I am working on! I think you are doing the right thing by giving her space. She needs to miss you and think about you. And when she comes back around just show her that you are there and care.

Looking back i think that i really didn't have what it took to keep her and she maybe saw this too and chose him. I always made sure she was laughing, reciprocated her affection, always cuddling and making out(always paid attention to her entire body when we did), seemed like she wanted sex more than anything when we went out.

During the beginning she always seemed to get sick, called me one night crying because she was in pain, i stayed with her on the phone until she was ready to sleep. She always told me she wished i was there to hold her when she's sick and i felt bad because i wanted to be.

She said she was comfortable wherever we went as long as it was with me. Still, i honestly couldn't do more than take her out for something to eat at the time, we'd make plans to get away and make love(that never happened). I could tell she was getting frustrated though, there was nothing i could do but love her.

Sad part is come october month is when i could have really spoilt her, i had planned to get her a ring and everything. I kept asking her if she was comfortable, realise now that was a mistake(kinda insecure on my part).

She told everyone the reason for the break up was because she couldn't handle the gossip and she had school to think about( though she never gave me a reason) yet this new guy appeared almost immediately. I'm just running the relationship through in my head so i could see where i went wrong for future reference. I know i'm suffering from one itis but right now i don't want to start a new relationship and honestly casual sex isn't for me. I know i dodged a bullet, i know but the girl she was at the beginning, i really want that girl back.

What i really want to know is: would a taurus woman who truly loved a man stay with him if he all he could give her was love, affection and loyalty? Or is there more to it than that?

I could never generalise in that way, bullgem. i figured i would evaluate myself to see if i had become weak to her in a primal sense. In the beginning things were great and she didn't seem to care about money. On a few occasions she paid for lunch, also the first time we went to the movies. After this, i paid for everything for the rest of the relationship.

Hmmm, you might be right there. I used to joke about her being spoiled by her uncles but i had always promised to spoil her also. In the beginning of the relationship, she was still hurting from her uncle being killed two months ago, she explained that he carried her everywhere, all the time. She loved him dearly, and she would always mention throughout how she missed him. Maybe she began looking for a guy who could replace him? I think she just got tired of waiting?

Risque details warning!:

How important is sex to a taurus female in a relationship? I ask this because she initiated everything intimate at the beginning. i even admitted to her the first time we made out, i was nervous about fondling her. I had to know if it was real love she was feeling or she just likes sex. At times i even thought maybe she was just trying to cope with things this way. We never had intercourse,i had planned to take her on a weekend away where we could be alone for that. I only used my fingers throughout our interactions together.

So she may have gotten frustrated with that too then, i was moving too slow? or it was just a fling she wanted?

i know the other guy was there for awhile but i still wonder if we had intercourse that she would still be with me. I really did lose her in a stupid fashion then

I'm genuinely sorry, bullgem. That's the oneitis talking and i have too much time to think, i do far too much thinking these days. I meant no offense to you or any other true taurus female. More often than not i need someone to beat me over the head with a brick of reality, i'm just glad it's you. 🙂

Oneitis can be very damaging, i will do my best to move on. In all honesty, knowing everything that happened i, myself, can't see how i still can't hate her either, bullgem. I am glad however, that you had the patience with me all this time to tell me straight and scold me when i needed it. I have a tendency to try to rescue people, even when i know it will damage me deeply. I'm not faking when i say: you are a true gem. 🙂

Lol. thus the name bullgem was born. 🙂

Good luck to you as well. You had a real taurus, justsomeguy. the one i had i'm not sure she knows what she wants yet, i'm afraid.I don't think she knows what love is and imo it is not just sex. She became intimate very quickly with me after her breaking up with her ex, i told her we should go slow because as long as she was straight with me i would always be hers. I was aware she was vulnerable and having sex with her at this time didn't seem right to me. Normally reaction would be to hate her but i just don't. I hope yours comes back to you, friend.

It's never easy. I admit it's the first time i've had a break up like this. As i've said before she showed some very endearing qualities at the beginning, she was very easy to love. I see her for what she is now but the girl she pretended to be is my ideal wife. If she was more mature and experienced, she would be a real taurus woman, i've never been into star signs before but i know that i want a taurus woman.

What i miss the most is looking into her eyes, seeing them sparkle,making her laugh, cuddling with her, the kissing. These things are more important to me than sex. I know she enjoyed the closeness but it wasn't enough for her as i found out. I've read that sag men are prone to cheating but that isn't me and it never will.

I forgot how hard recovery was.Seeing her nearly everyday only makes things worse for me, she doesn't speak to me at all. I'm even starting to get body pains. She looks so happy now, i feel as if I was holding her back the whole time and maybe i was so blinded by everything that i really was. After all this time, i'm still haunted by everything, i really never had to deal with a break up like this before,maybe i had some karma coming...

If i could start dating again, it would make it easier but in my condition, i can't trust that i won't hurt the next girl the same way she hurt me. I feel as if she threw all her pain unto me then left me to deal with it. I'm sure i never want to go through this again and it as if she enjoys seeing me suffer.