le0babii
@le0babii
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 7 · Topics: 5
HELP!! all taurus need apply ..*CONFUSED LEO*
OK, what I'm going to say is not a judgment at all, I'm just saying it how it appears to be...I don't think this is a Taurus male thing, I think it's a guy thing.
I'm sure he likely does like you to an extent; however, you have made yourself totally accessible to him, which means he doesn't feel he has to "work" for it, so while he may like you, he doesn't feel he has to put any time into.
Example:
"i never speak to him during the week unless i contact him first."
This equates to YOU doing all of the work.
Next example:
"when i dont contact him he asks why i havent contacted him or randomly tries to come over..."
Again, you doing all of the work, he's putting it back on you asking why YOU haven't contacted him, but hey, while I have you on the line, why don't I come over and we can hook up.
"DOES HE THINK IM JUST A BOOTY CALL?!? "
He may not right at this moment, but you are dangerously towing that line if that is NOT what you want to be considered.
"SHOULD I NOT TRY TO PURSUE HIM & JUST LET HIM COME TO ME?!? "
Short answer - "YES" - make HIM do some work. I'm not saying you should be cold and aloof, still be yourself and let him know you are interested in him, BUT, don't be the pursuer. That doesn't mean you can't call him if you REALLY feel like it, etc, but if (from what you stated above) he is a PLAYER, then guess what, you likely want to know that now versus later down the line when you've fallen head/butt overheels in love with him.
Just my .02 cents. Others will surely weigh in.
My last peace of advice (since it was asked) would be that you set the stage for the type of relationship YOU want. Don't fall in line with whatever happens, you take control of it. For example, if you meet someone and they are adamant that they are NOT wanting to be in a relationship because of whatever various reasons, but YOU are looking to be in a relationship - STOP RIGHT THERE. They've told you what they are and are not willing to do. You thinking you can "change their mind" will likely not happen - not impossible, but surely not probable. Be true to you and what YOU want. If, on the other hand you are in a partying mood and just want to "hang out" with someone for a spell, then by all means do that. I think women (in general) put too much in to initial encounters, and just don't roll with the fun and experience of getting to know that person. Just because you go out with someone a couple of times doesn't mean you should be (in
I'm sure he likely does like you to an extent; however, you have made yourself totally accessible to him, which means he doesn't feel he has to "work" for it, so while he may like you, he doesn't feel he has to put any time into.
Example:
"i never speak to him during the week unless i contact him first."
This equates to YOU doing all of the work.
Next example:
"when i dont contact him he asks why i havent contacted him or randomly tries to come over..."
Again, you doing all of the work, he's putting it back on you asking why YOU haven't contacted him, but hey, while I have you on the line, why don't I come over and we can hook up.
"DOES HE THINK IM JUST A BOOTY CALL?!? "
He may not right at this moment, but you are dangerously towing that line if that is NOT what you want to be considered.
"SHOULD I NOT TRY TO PURSUE HIM & JUST LET HIM COME TO ME?!? "
Short answer - "YES" - make HIM do some work. I'm not saying you should be cold and aloof, still be yourself and let him know you are interested in him, BUT, don't be the pursuer. That doesn't mean you can't call him if you REALLY feel like it, etc, but if (from what you stated above) he is a PLAYER, then guess what, you likely want to know that now versus later down the line when you've fallen head/butt overheels in love with him.
Just my .02 cents. Others will surely weigh in.
My last peace of advice (since it was asked) would be that you set the stage for the type of relationship YOU want. Don't fall in line with whatever happens, you take control of it. For example, if you meet someone and they are adamant that they are NOT wanting to be in a relationship because of whatever various reasons, but YOU are looking to be in a relationship - STOP RIGHT THERE. They've told you what they are and are not willing to do. You thinking you can "change their mind" will likely not happen - not impossible, but surely not probable. Be true to you and what YOU want. If, on the other hand you are in a partying mood and just want to "hang out" with someone for a spell, then by all means do that. I think women (in general) put too much in to initial encounters, and just don't roll with the fun and experience of getting to know that person. Just because you go out with someone a couple of times doesn't mean you should be (in
got cut off..
Continuining --- Just because you go out with someone a couple of times doesn't mean you should be (in your head) picking out china patterns and planning baby names. Just go with the flow and see if you even LIKE the person, or are compatible for the long term. As I tell my girlfriends, anybody can be thunderstruck and enamored during the first 6 months to a year. Impress me, and come back two years from then and expound on how much you are STILL in love and how great everything is, once all the pretty newness wears off. I'm not being mean, I'm a realist. Anybody can be on their best behavior for a few months, but after a year or two that facade wears thin, and the REAL person comes out.
Continuining --- Just because you go out with someone a couple of times doesn't mean you should be (in your head) picking out china patterns and planning baby names. Just go with the flow and see if you even LIKE the person, or are compatible for the long term. As I tell my girlfriends, anybody can be thunderstruck and enamored during the first 6 months to a year. Impress me, and come back two years from then and expound on how much you are STILL in love and how great everything is, once all the pretty newness wears off. I'm not being mean, I'm a realist. Anybody can be on their best behavior for a few months, but after a year or two that facade wears thin, and the REAL person comes out.
and that should have been last "piece" not "peace" of advice! And "continuing." Good grief, I need to get some food in me! (LOL, spoken like a true Taurus)
amen @USC - the law of attraction. you're unavailable and people want you. you're available and yet you remain single. what you're looking for, you won't find. it's like when you lose your keys and search frantically. why are they always in the last place you thought to look? why are we unable to find what we need when we're in a frenzy but at the moment we're calm, retrace our steps or are too exhausted to flip out, whoomp there it is!
if you're happy, secure, vibrant, carefree, no-agenda, you're more likely to attract what you want. if you're the opposite of those things, you push what you want away.
or think about it simply, do you have a pet? you know how the more anxious you are to get a pet 🐶 to come to you, the less likely it'll come? you can whistle, hold out treats, whatever, the more you want that damn thing to come with, the more it runs away. it doesn't trust your energy and it senses that whatever you're about to do, it won't like. even if it comes, it's only coming to get the treat. once it has the treat, the moment it gets free, it's off like lightening.
as women, we walk a fine line when it comes to the chase. sometimes in a relationship or a budding encounter, the best thing you can do is to walk away...figuratively. just as your dog will find its way home, a man who recognizes your worth will come sniffing around again. but like a dog, a man needs to be trained. if you don't want your dog taking off at the moment he's out the door, you can put him on a leash or you can go the extra step and get him under voice command. the leash is about control, the voice command is about respect.
you need to teach him how to respect you...that you're worthy of respect, that when you say come, he comes. not solely because you said so, but because he recognizes that he's better with you than running the streets. so if you're chasing him around and offering treats for ill behavior, where's the respect? and who's running whom?
if you're happy, secure, vibrant, carefree, no-agenda, you're more likely to attract what you want. if you're the opposite of those things, you push what you want away.
or think about it simply, do you have a pet? you know how the more anxious you are to get a pet 🐶 to come to you, the less likely it'll come? you can whistle, hold out treats, whatever, the more you want that damn thing to come with, the more it runs away. it doesn't trust your energy and it senses that whatever you're about to do, it won't like. even if it comes, it's only coming to get the treat. once it has the treat, the moment it gets free, it's off like lightening.
as women, we walk a fine line when it comes to the chase. sometimes in a relationship or a budding encounter, the best thing you can do is to walk away...figuratively. just as your dog will find its way home, a man who recognizes your worth will come sniffing around again. but like a dog, a man needs to be trained. if you don't want your dog taking off at the moment he's out the door, you can put him on a leash or you can go the extra step and get him under voice command. the leash is about control, the voice command is about respect.
you need to teach him how to respect you...that you're worthy of respect, that when you say come, he comes. not solely because you said so, but because he recognizes that he's better with you than running the streets. so if you're chasing him around and offering treats for ill behavior, where's the respect? and who's running whom?
Agreed, and le0babii, may I recommend the fine work of one goddess, Aretha Franklin. "Who's Zooming Who?" 😉
In a broad sense, I agree with Tubby, except for the putting men on la leash or having "control" over them. Should a man respect you? Absofrigginglutely, but he should WANT to do that and not be/feel coerced, strong armed, chastised, etc if he doesn't. The simple truth is that HE should WANT to respect you and treat you well, if he doesn't, then you step and find someone who does. It really is that simple. It's just like when I hear that men get into fights with their women and call them biatches, and stuff. I can tell you one thing and this is no lie - no man has EVER called me out of my name or anything, even if we were fighting. Now, in his head, he may have called me that...lol, but in his outside voice No Sireee Bob! It's respect, because if someone alleges they care and love you, then they will treat you in kind, even during fights/disagreements. In turn, I've always treated men with respect even during fights. I don't call people out of their names, or anything, but rest assured, once I am done w/them, they would have preferred I just cussed them out. My ex-fiance' would attest to that for sure!
Bottom line for me, is that I am not a babysitter, dog trainer, or anything else. I am a woman, who expects that a man will treat her as such, and in turn, he gets the same respect and is treated like a man.
Bottom line for me, is that I am not a babysitter, dog trainer, or anything else. I am a woman, who expects that a man will treat her as such, and in turn, he gets the same respect and is treated like a man.
@USC - i dont think we're disagreeing. in the analogy, there's a leash...which is control. voice command to me isn't control per se. if I say, do NOT call me after 9pm if you'd like to see me. that's not control. that's, I'm not a booty call, i'm not easy, i don't jump when you say jump and if you want to see me, you will call me at a respectable hour giving me the opportunity to either get dinner ready for the both of us or dressed up so that we can go to dinner. if you choose NOT to do that, you can call, i won't answer. if you need a woman who will respond to your late night romps, call that b*tch. in the end is the dude controlled? no. am i respected? yes.
relationships are all about control. once you commit to one another, you're now bound by restriction where before you had absolute freedom. do you view those restrictions as leash...or honor and mutual respect? to me, i respect my dude's "voice commands" with the expectation that he will respect mine.
so maybe the reason why a man has never called you a bitch, the reason why a man has never called me one, is in part because we have chosen men who know better, but also due to our spoken/unspoken "voice commands"...the amount of respect we command from our partners. you don't have to start a union with, "here's a list of names you will not call me" but you do have to stand in your top dog role and own it. you own your role, he owns his...mutual respect.
relationships are all about control. once you commit to one another, you're now bound by restriction where before you had absolute freedom. do you view those restrictions as leash...or honor and mutual respect? to me, i respect my dude's "voice commands" with the expectation that he will respect mine.
so maybe the reason why a man has never called you a bitch, the reason why a man has never called me one, is in part because we have chosen men who know better, but also due to our spoken/unspoken "voice commands"...the amount of respect we command from our partners. you don't have to start a union with, "here's a list of names you will not call me" but you do have to stand in your top dog role and own it. you own your role, he owns his...mutual respect.
Grrr. I'm not hiding anything, it was just that quote w/in a quote box (which annoys the hell outta' me).
I gotcha tubby, and you are correct, people know (unless they are complete and total jackasses) what is unacceptable or disrespectful behavior.
My motto is, "Come correct, or don't come at all."
I gotcha tubby, and you are correct, people know (unless they are complete and total jackasses) what is unacceptable or disrespectful behavior.
My motto is, "Come correct, or don't come at all."
THAnks SOo much everyone!! i agree ... all this advice is helpful 🙂
Posted by USCTaurusGal
OK, what I'm going to say is not a judgment at all, I'm just saying it how it appears to be...I don't think this is a Taurus male thing, I think it's a guy thing.
I'm sure he likely does like you to an extent; however, you have made yourself totally accessible to him, which means he doesn't feel he has to "work" for it, so while he may like you, he doesn't feel he has to put any time into.
Example:
"i never speak to him during the week unless i contact him first."
This equates to YOU doing all of the work.
Next example:
"when i dont contact him he asks why i havent contacted him or randomly tries to come over..."
Again, you doing all of the work, he's putting it back on you asking why YOU haven't contacted him, but hey, while I have you on the line, why don't I come over and we can hook up.
"DOES HE THINK IM JUST A BOOTY CALL?!? "
He may not right at this moment, but you are dangerously towing that line if that is NOT what you want to be considered.
"SHOULD I NOT TRY TO PURSUE HIM & JUST LET HIM COME TO ME?!? "
Short answer - "YES" - make HIM do some work. I'm not saying you should be cold and aloof, still be yourself and let him know you are interested in him, BUT, don't be the pursuer. That doesn't mean you can't call him if you REALLY feel like it, etc, but if (from what you stated above) he is a PLAYER, then guess what, you likely want to know that now versus later down the line when you've fallen head/butt overheels in love with him.
Totaaaalllly got my question answered, thnx Taurus Gal =]
- Pisces
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I think he likes me but im not sure. I see him every weekend when we go out because of mutual friends he says hi and gives me big hugs and is very sweet but i never speak to him during the week unless i contact him first. when i dont contact him he asks why i havent contacted him or randomly tries to come over...
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*ANY ADVICE/EXPERIENCES WOULD BE HELPFUL.. sry if this story kinda doesn't make sense just ask if i need to clarify anything*
THANKS..