Valentina
@Valentina
13 YearsVirgo
Comments: 1 · Posts: 111 · Topics: 7
I am desperate with a Taurus man PLEASE help me!
Sorry had to continue my post :/
So he told her everything its ok but he didnt say anything else to her...
He said he doesnt want to come for few days until things calm down with his family... but he stills phones me and texts me like a thousand times a day...
WHY is he doing this? What is in his mind? He is never a person to sit down and talk.... does he really mean it when he says not to have any hopes that we will get back together? but his actions so the opposite
He does know that i still love him, and i also apologised to him if i ever did anything that hurt him...
Also when we broke up he took back the engagement ring and a bracelet he bought me, i never asked him for all his presents i bought him, i could do that...
PLEASE help me i am crying my eyes out here 😢
So he told her everything its ok but he didnt say anything else to her...
He said he doesnt want to come for few days until things calm down with his family... but he stills phones me and texts me like a thousand times a day...
WHY is he doing this? What is in his mind? He is never a person to sit down and talk.... does he really mean it when he says not to have any hopes that we will get back together? but his actions so the opposite
He does know that i still love him, and i also apologised to him if i ever did anything that hurt him...
Also when we broke up he took back the engagement ring and a bracelet he bought me, i never asked him for all his presents i bought him, i could do that...
PLEASE help me i am crying my eyes out here 😢
Wait, how long have you known this guy?
Why would you be willing to get engaged to someone you don't know? Instead of wondering why he's being an asshole, maybe you should thank God that he is? Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
How old is he?
Why would you be willing to get engaged to someone you don't know? Instead of wondering why he's being an asshole, maybe you should thank God that he is? Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
How old is he?
I am 26 and he is 31... he has his job, a good job, but few years back he made some financial mistakes and he is trying to get out of it.
He lives in a village 45 minutes from the city, (i live in the city his work is at the city) so when we got together, at first we was staying at my house a couple of days a week, and then he wanted to move in my apartment so he doesnt have to drive all the way there and come back.
we have been engaged for 1 year and 4 months
PS sorry my english is bad, not my first language...
He lives in a village 45 minutes from the city, (i live in the city his work is at the city) so when we got together, at first we was staying at my house a couple of days a week, and then he wanted to move in my apartment so he doesnt have to drive all the way there and come back.
we have been engaged for 1 year and 4 months
PS sorry my english is bad, not my first language...
your english is fine.
so you've actually been "engaged" for 12 months (16 months since he proposed - 4 months since you've broken up)? why such a long engagement?
does he currently live with his mom? do they rent or own their home?
beyond your yelling at his mom regarding buying a house, were there any other problems in the relationship?
what's his moon and mars sign?
so you've actually been "engaged" for 12 months (16 months since he proposed - 4 months since you've broken up)? why such a long engagement?
does he currently live with his mom? do they rent or own their home?
beyond your yelling at his mom regarding buying a house, were there any other problems in the relationship?
what's his moon and mars sign?
I met him on June 2010 in a friends house party.
Was a love at first sight for both of us, we dated for a month and since end of July 2010 we have been officially together.
End of August 2010 he moved in my house and end of september 2010 he proposed. We did the engagement party on December 2010.
We booked the church and everything for our wedding on September 2012.
The fight happened start of August 2011 and he started talking to me again middle of November 2011.
Before his financial mistakes he was renting an apartment in the city, but after that, because he couldnt afford it, he moved back to his parents house until he is more stable financially .
He is a chef... and he works from 3pm until 11pm, 7 days a week. The restaurant closed every january and february... he said he didnt want a day off as he wanted the extra money...
Well few times he was yelling at me for no apparent reason, and i was just crying and then he would apologise not my fault but the problems at work....
Also he was going to bed after work, and he wouldnt wake up until 2pm get ready and leave for work, few times i told him i wish he could wake up a bit earlier so we could do things together as a couple (at least the weekends) as i work morning monday - friday too, so i didnt mind him sleeping.
But on sunday or saturday morning i wanted to go for a walk, to the mall, or for a coffee as couple.... but he was yelling that he is getting so tired at work he needs the rest.
No other problems, i was basically very very very patient with him..
I dont know his moon or mars sign
I am a virgo with ascendant in scorpio and moon in gemini if this helps?
Was a love at first sight for both of us, we dated for a month and since end of July 2010 we have been officially together.
End of August 2010 he moved in my house and end of september 2010 he proposed. We did the engagement party on December 2010.
We booked the church and everything for our wedding on September 2012.
The fight happened start of August 2011 and he started talking to me again middle of November 2011.
Before his financial mistakes he was renting an apartment in the city, but after that, because he couldnt afford it, he moved back to his parents house until he is more stable financially .
He is a chef... and he works from 3pm until 11pm, 7 days a week. The restaurant closed every january and february... he said he didnt want a day off as he wanted the extra money...
Well few times he was yelling at me for no apparent reason, and i was just crying and then he would apologise not my fault but the problems at work....
Also he was going to bed after work, and he wouldnt wake up until 2pm get ready and leave for work, few times i told him i wish he could wake up a bit earlier so we could do things together as a couple (at least the weekends) as i work morning monday - friday too, so i didnt mind him sleeping.
But on sunday or saturday morning i wanted to go for a walk, to the mall, or for a coffee as couple.... but he was yelling that he is getting so tired at work he needs the rest.
No other problems, i was basically very very very patient with him..
I dont know his moon or mars sign
I am a virgo with ascendant in scorpio and moon in gemini if this helps?
What's his birthday?
If he's in a financial bind, how was he able to buy you a ring?
Frankly, he sounds lazy and verbally abusive...but I will be nice today and make excuses for him as that's probably more to your liking...
Overall, Taureans thrive on a sense of security. Given that he's had some "financial mistakes," I imagine that there would be a lot of unintentional lashing out on his part.
When we're digging ourselves out of a mess, I think some of us tend to isolate. We want to fix OUR issues, in OUR way, on OUR terms.
IF he's in this mode, it doesn't matter how "nice" and "supportive" you are. Although our help is appreciated, the mistake has yet to correct itself. Until it does, it's really difficult for us to be at peace.
So maybe he does still love you, but he may also realize that he needs to get his shit together and maybe he feels more comfortable doing that alone? With that said, the selfish part of him may still want you around. And the selfish, clingy, security seeking part of him wants to know that you're there, so of course he'll come knocking...he knows you'll always answer.
As long as you're there for him when he needs you, he feels a sense of security. That was ideal when he was in your home, but now that he's not, you may want to reevaluate how supportive you will be moving forward.
As far as his being lazy and not wanting to go out. He might just be a typical, lazy bull, BUT chances are, the financial worries are causing high levels of stress/depression.
Why would he want to go out when he doesn't have disposable income?
Why would he want to go to the mall to see a bunch of things he can't buy?
Why would he want to do things that would put him further into debt?
So if all he does is sleep, work and lash out, he's probably depressed...or a lazy, good for nothing, asshole.
If he's in a financial bind, how was he able to buy you a ring?
Frankly, he sounds lazy and verbally abusive...but I will be nice today and make excuses for him as that's probably more to your liking...
Overall, Taureans thrive on a sense of security. Given that he's had some "financial mistakes," I imagine that there would be a lot of unintentional lashing out on his part.
When we're digging ourselves out of a mess, I think some of us tend to isolate. We want to fix OUR issues, in OUR way, on OUR terms.
IF he's in this mode, it doesn't matter how "nice" and "supportive" you are. Although our help is appreciated, the mistake has yet to correct itself. Until it does, it's really difficult for us to be at peace.
So maybe he does still love you, but he may also realize that he needs to get his shit together and maybe he feels more comfortable doing that alone? With that said, the selfish part of him may still want you around. And the selfish, clingy, security seeking part of him wants to know that you're there, so of course he'll come knocking...he knows you'll always answer.
As long as you're there for him when he needs you, he feels a sense of security. That was ideal when he was in your home, but now that he's not, you may want to reevaluate how supportive you will be moving forward.
As far as his being lazy and not wanting to go out. He might just be a typical, lazy bull, BUT chances are, the financial worries are causing high levels of stress/depression.
Why would he want to go out when he doesn't have disposable income?
Why would he want to go to the mall to see a bunch of things he can't buy?
Why would he want to do things that would put him further into debt?
So if all he does is sleep, work and lash out, he's probably depressed...or a lazy, good for nothing, asshole.
Ok forgot to mention he was jealous of everything........... not to talk to guys friends, not to have any guys names on my phone, but as i loved him i didnt care so i was just granted everything he wanted..
Ok i think i found his natal chart, so is Sun in Taurus, Ascendant in Libra, Moon in Taurus and Mars in Virgo....
Ok i think i found his natal chart, so is Sun in Taurus, Ascendant in Libra, Moon in Taurus and Mars in Virgo....
oh so basically, he IS an asshole.
sounds like he did you a favor by calling it off. i can't imagine how it feels to think that you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone and then for it to fall apart, BUT, this sounds as if it needed to implode.
i'm sure that you two shared some good times but it seems like the only way to sum him up is...
lazy
boring
broke
mean
jealous
selfish
momma's boy
and asshole...let's not forget, "asshole"
sounds like he did you a favor by calling it off. i can't imagine how it feels to think that you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone and then for it to fall apart, BUT, this sounds as if it needed to implode.
i'm sure that you two shared some good times but it seems like the only way to sum him up is...
lazy
boring
broke
mean
jealous
selfish
momma's boy
and asshole...let's not forget, "asshole"
I just want to know why he wants to keep this a secret?? Why he doesnt want anyone to know that we see each other again?
PS his parents and sister WISH and WANT us to be back together
Does he mean it when he says not to have hopes that we will be together again? Do i still be patient with him or just end it altogether?? This is taking the best of me i cry myself to sleep everynight
He knows that his financial situation wont get better any time soon, he owns a LOT
Can u sum me up as well—
Sun in Virgo Ascendant in Scorpio, Moon in Gemini and Mars in Leo (wow put puri here :/)
PS his parents and sister WISH and WANT us to be back together
Does he mean it when he says not to have hopes that we will be together again? Do i still be patient with him or just end it altogether?? This is taking the best of me i cry myself to sleep everynight
He knows that his financial situation wont get better any time soon, he owns a LOT
Can u sum me up as well—
Sun in Virgo Ascendant in Scorpio, Moon in Gemini and Mars in Leo (wow put puri here :/)
Maybe he doesn't want anyone to know because he realizes that their (his mother's) meddling caused stress/drama in your relationship?
Maybe his family is being kind to you, but saying negative things behind your back?
Maybe his family is being kind to you, but saying negative things behind your back?
Maybe he wants to keep his visiting a secret because he's with another woman. Someone somewhere has gotten wind of him visiting and that's why he's stopped coming.
He IS an arsehole.
He IS an arsehole.
Ok i am going to die tonight i know it. I cant handle it anymore. Few hours back he phone me to tell me he is going to work, and that he is passing out of "that village", a village 15km away from his work. He asked me if i can find the pharmacy that is open this afternoon, i said ok, and i call him back after 3 minutes and tell him the pharmacy.
He said ok, just came to work now. Will go later... and i am like whoooaaa were you flying? dont drive so fast is dangerous (cause 15 km in 3 minutes— - i didnt told him that but that what i was thinking)... and he outburst yelling at me that i am questioning him and that i dont trust him, and that he hates all this and he hang up the phone on me....
I spent the next 2 hours crying my eyes out, and wondering what is the so wrong i have said to him.... i didnt call him at all and he calls me few minutes ago, when he finished work, to tell me that he believes that i am seeing somebody else... and i said i am not seeing anybody else. Then he tells me you talk with somebody else, and i said no i am not talking with someone else... then he says why you didnt call me all these hours? I said because, i said something and i make you so angry i didnt want to bother you.... then he tells me, look ok i wasnt going to tell you anything but i will tell you that i dont want us to speak so many times a day.....i want us to talk but not so frequently.
I said ok... and i have asked him if he wants me to leave it up to him, and he can decides when to call me. And then he goes again, see i told you, you do speak with someone else!
WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!! why is he doing all these? what does he wants from me?
I am sorry i am telling you all these, but i gave my promise that i am not going to tell anyone, so i cant discuss it with my friends or family, what do i do, how do i react on this—
He said ok, just came to work now. Will go later... and i am like whoooaaa were you flying? dont drive so fast is dangerous (cause 15 km in 3 minutes— - i didnt told him that but that what i was thinking)... and he outburst yelling at me that i am questioning him and that i dont trust him, and that he hates all this and he hang up the phone on me....
I spent the next 2 hours crying my eyes out, and wondering what is the so wrong i have said to him.... i didnt call him at all and he calls me few minutes ago, when he finished work, to tell me that he believes that i am seeing somebody else... and i said i am not seeing anybody else. Then he tells me you talk with somebody else, and i said no i am not talking with someone else... then he says why you didnt call me all these hours? I said because, i said something and i make you so angry i didnt want to bother you.... then he tells me, look ok i wasnt going to tell you anything but i will tell you that i dont want us to speak so many times a day.....i want us to talk but not so frequently.
I said ok... and i have asked him if he wants me to leave it up to him, and he can decides when to call me. And then he goes again, see i told you, you do speak with someone else!
WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!! why is he doing all these? what does he wants from me?
I am sorry i am telling you all these, but i gave my promise that i am not going to tell anyone, so i cant discuss it with my friends or family, what do i do, how do i react on this—
NZAqua his venus in cancer
he's immature and NUTS!
there's a reason why his mom was pressuring you to buy a house. she wanted him out of hers...tout de suite!
i know that what you're experiencing is painful, but seriously, he's an ASSHOLE! take some time to yourself to get over the heartbreak but leave him alone.
he has no right to question you on who you may or may not be dating. he took the ring back, so fuck 'em.
ALSO, i told you that taurus likes knowing that people and things are right where we left them. if you want him to value you, STOP being so supportive...STOP being a doormat...STOP being at his beck and call.
IF you are worth it, he will do what it takes to win you back. unfortunately, it won't take much given that you're so wounded right now. if only, if only you recognized what a shit he was...then you wouldnt want or need him back.
there's a reason why his mom was pressuring you to buy a house. she wanted him out of hers...tout de suite!
i know that what you're experiencing is painful, but seriously, he's an ASSHOLE! take some time to yourself to get over the heartbreak but leave him alone.
he has no right to question you on who you may or may not be dating. he took the ring back, so fuck 'em.
ALSO, i told you that taurus likes knowing that people and things are right where we left them. if you want him to value you, STOP being so supportive...STOP being a doormat...STOP being at his beck and call.
IF you are worth it, he will do what it takes to win you back. unfortunately, it won't take much given that you're so wounded right now. if only, if only you recognized what a shit he was...then you wouldnt want or need him back.
You know i was dating a guy 7 years and one day out of nowhere he said i am sorry and left... just like that, no explanation, no nothing, never talked to me again... all my dreams have been shuttered and i thought i would never fall in love again...
And for 2 years although i met a lot of guys, well i dint even gave them a second chance, because there was missing something that it was a gut feeling i dont know, and then when i saw this taurian omg i just cant explain how i felt, and i love him to bits, although i know i might deserve a better life, but i just love him, and i am willing to risk everything to be back with him again.
He thinks it is my fault we broke up, i dont know if he realised that he was his fault too, but even if he did he would never admitted it anyway... but i love him, and i dont know... he is a taurus man, if i just cut his communication, i know he is SO SELFISH and egocentric even if he sees me with someone else, and dying inside he will never come to win be back.. he wont do that... that's why i dont want to disappoint him...
isnt this the way taurus man work? if you hurt them run a male? and so selfish?
And for 2 years although i met a lot of guys, well i dint even gave them a second chance, because there was missing something that it was a gut feeling i dont know, and then when i saw this taurian omg i just cant explain how i felt, and i love him to bits, although i know i might deserve a better life, but i just love him, and i am willing to risk everything to be back with him again.
He thinks it is my fault we broke up, i dont know if he realised that he was his fault too, but even if he did he would never admitted it anyway... but i love him, and i dont know... he is a taurus man, if i just cut his communication, i know he is SO SELFISH and egocentric even if he sees me with someone else, and dying inside he will never come to win be back.. he wont do that... that's why i dont want to disappoint him...
isnt this the way taurus man work? if you hurt them run a male? and so selfish?
no, it's the way ASSHOLES work.
look, i know what you're going through. you were in a previous relationship. you didn't get closure. you didn't get commitment and it hurt.
as you're healing, the taurus comes along and he gives you exactly what you longed for in the other relationship. there's a "connection," he's passionate, he's willing to commit to you from the very beginning. i'm sure this made you feel loved, desired and secure.
he told you everything you wanted and needed to hear. thing is, you didn't need to hear it from him. you wanted to hear those things from the guy in the 7-year situation. what if THAT guy had finally said that he loved you and wanted to marry you and moved in with you and possessed you...all after having so easily let you go?
you can't see clearly right now, but you KNOW this guy is toxic and that he doesn't deserve you.
his behavior has less to do with his being a taurus and more to do with his being an ASSHOLE!
does '"asshole" translate? what language do you speak? i'll find an equivalent.
look, i know what you're going through. you were in a previous relationship. you didn't get closure. you didn't get commitment and it hurt.
as you're healing, the taurus comes along and he gives you exactly what you longed for in the other relationship. there's a "connection," he's passionate, he's willing to commit to you from the very beginning. i'm sure this made you feel loved, desired and secure.
he told you everything you wanted and needed to hear. thing is, you didn't need to hear it from him. you wanted to hear those things from the guy in the 7-year situation. what if THAT guy had finally said that he loved you and wanted to marry you and moved in with you and possessed you...all after having so easily let you go?
you can't see clearly right now, but you KNOW this guy is toxic and that he doesn't deserve you.
his behavior has less to do with his being a taurus and more to do with his being an ASSHOLE!
does '"asshole" translate? what language do you speak? i'll find an equivalent.
I search the net but i couldnt find a definition of Marker so i was wondering lol. I speak Greek..
Its just that all these jealousy is confusing me... why he asks me to see with whom i talk on facebook? why he is so anxious of me finding someone else? I know he doesnt see anyone else as he gives me a call every half an hour updating me with what he is doing and where he is.
Does he tests me? is he so insecure that wants to be sure i am the one? Since he started talking to me, 6 out of 7 days a week he was here... I phone his sister... cause we still talk, not for him, but because we became very close we didnt cut off communication, and she told me out of nowhere that her brother, feels bad, because when we broke up... he made things so dramatic that are nowhere true, his anger was speaking and he was accusing me for things never happened, just to make people feel sorry for him... and he admitted that some days in October... and she told me that she believes that her brother stills loves me but he feels bad, of what people will say if we get back together, as he said so many bad things about me... and he things that they will laugh at him (she is so bad, yet he went back to her?) if we get back together
Are they such Drama Queens? for like real?
Its just that all these jealousy is confusing me... why he asks me to see with whom i talk on facebook? why he is so anxious of me finding someone else? I know he doesnt see anyone else as he gives me a call every half an hour updating me with what he is doing and where he is.
Does he tests me? is he so insecure that wants to be sure i am the one? Since he started talking to me, 6 out of 7 days a week he was here... I phone his sister... cause we still talk, not for him, but because we became very close we didnt cut off communication, and she told me out of nowhere that her brother, feels bad, because when we broke up... he made things so dramatic that are nowhere true, his anger was speaking and he was accusing me for things never happened, just to make people feel sorry for him... and he admitted that some days in October... and she told me that she believes that her brother stills loves me but he feels bad, of what people will say if we get back together, as he said so many bad things about me... and he things that they will laugh at him (she is so bad, yet he went back to her?) if we get back together
Are they such Drama Queens? for like real?
Ok a few things that could happen.
First of all you need to understand that Taurus people are little tricky to understand because they are passionate and practical at the same time.I am passionate and than my practical sense puts a cold shower on my head to wake me up and see things in real.
For some reasons (could be his own situation or you) he is figured out that marriage or serious relatiobship between you and him is not going to work.He may hesitate to tell you your own shortcomings(incompatibilities in his life/situation) or his problems or both that are hinderence in this relationship.
But you said it was love at first sight and it is quite possible (though rare with taurus).When we fell at first sight we charge with intensity to win that person and become more giving than taking unless something happens that switches us off and makes us regret our decision at first instance.
So as of today I can say he loves you and is emotionally attached to you (passionate side) but at the same time he cannot convince himself that future of this relationship is going to be great (practical side) and he does not like taking risk because for taurus serious relationship matters a lot and for most of them divorce is taken as an eternal setback.
I agree it sounds selfish from his side and you don't deserve this.
I see very less chances of this turning into a serious relationship again however you can do few things as last steps:-
1.Don't push him and don't make yourself needy of his love.Give him enuf time to get out of troubles.
2.Probably you have done a few things that has led to this insecurity.That made him think you and he together is not going to work.Re assure by your acts and words that you will take care of all this in a positive way
Wait for another few months and see if he comes back to you.But if you still find he is playing same game"I want you (passionate side)..I want you not (practical side)" than I suggest you to move on. He doesn't want you for anything serious.
Taurus ppl are jealous not because they are insecure but they know people best.He knows you,he knows guys.I am 100% sure if he transfers his mind to you and you see world through his knowledge you will became as jealous and protective as him 🙂
Best of luck
First of all you need to understand that Taurus people are little tricky to understand because they are passionate and practical at the same time.I am passionate and than my practical sense puts a cold shower on my head to wake me up and see things in real.
For some reasons (could be his own situation or you) he is figured out that marriage or serious relatiobship between you and him is not going to work.He may hesitate to tell you your own shortcomings(incompatibilities in his life/situation) or his problems or both that are hinderence in this relationship.
But you said it was love at first sight and it is quite possible (though rare with taurus).When we fell at first sight we charge with intensity to win that person and become more giving than taking unless something happens that switches us off and makes us regret our decision at first instance.
So as of today I can say he loves you and is emotionally attached to you (passionate side) but at the same time he cannot convince himself that future of this relationship is going to be great (practical side) and he does not like taking risk because for taurus serious relationship matters a lot and for most of them divorce is taken as an eternal setback.
I agree it sounds selfish from his side and you don't deserve this.
I see very less chances of this turning into a serious relationship again however you can do few things as last steps:-
1.Don't push him and don't make yourself needy of his love.Give him enuf time to get out of troubles.
2.Probably you have done a few things that has led to this insecurity.That made him think you and he together is not going to work.Re assure by your acts and words that you will take care of all this in a positive way
Wait for another few months and see if he comes back to you.But if you still find he is playing same game"I want you (passionate side)..I want you not (practical side)" than I suggest you to move on. He doesn't want you for anything serious.
Taurus ppl are jealous not because they are insecure but they know people best.He knows you,he knows guys.I am 100% sure if he transfers his mind to you and you see world through his knowledge you will became as jealous and protective as him 🙂
Best of luck
'Re assure by your acts and words that you will take care of all this in a positive way' = what do you mean with that??
I tell him i love him and if we get back together everything will be ok? He said he doesnt want me to ever say to him that i want us back together...
Only thing i wouldnt agree is him gambling... he believes that if he gambles one day he will win a lot so he can get out of his bankcraftncy anything else he wanted he had it. Whatever he asked for.
I think i need to realise that this was his problem... he wanted me to agree on him gambling. Sorry i just love him way too much to allow him that. And i never shouted or anything... i was just explaining him a calm way that i would prefer if he wouldnt do that, i never pushed him to stop doing it cause i have seen Taurus exploding...
I guess he chose gambling over me...
I tell him i love him and if we get back together everything will be ok? He said he doesnt want me to ever say to him that i want us back together...
Only thing i wouldnt agree is him gambling... he believes that if he gambles one day he will win a lot so he can get out of his bankcraftncy anything else he wanted he had it. Whatever he asked for.
I think i need to realise that this was his problem... he wanted me to agree on him gambling. Sorry i just love him way too much to allow him that. And i never shouted or anything... i was just explaining him a calm way that i would prefer if he wouldnt do that, i never pushed him to stop doing it cause i have seen Taurus exploding...
I guess he chose gambling over me...
He's making all the rules here.
Are you happy with that? Really? He's just a person, not a God.
You can love him all you want, but he sounds like an immature emotional bully to me. Is this who you want to give your time, energy, spirit, and love to? If so, why?
Are you happy with that? Really? He's just a person, not a God.
You can love him all you want, but he sounds like an immature emotional bully to me. Is this who you want to give your time, energy, spirit, and love to? If so, why?
You see he was not upto you expectations (financially), he bossy and jealous. But you still love him. That means he definitely had some qualities that made him irresistible.
Now as I said Taurus is all about security.You in love with him and expressing your emotions is not enough if you can't show him by your acts that future with you is going to be secure without you pushing him to do things which are out of his comfort zone.Taurus loves to give but demands depress him.The fear of you getting emotionally demanding or pushing him for a better life in later stages makes him sick.
So you might have messed with his idea of security.So re assure him that you won't push him.Rather stay patient with him and he will do everything he has for you.
But its gone far.I guess he doesn't love you the same way he would once.Thats why you see he is bullying you.He is being selfish too. He is taking you forgranted.
So as I said wait for some time and if things didn't work..MOVE ON..Taurus will unlikely be same old taurus again.
Now as I said Taurus is all about security.You in love with him and expressing your emotions is not enough if you can't show him by your acts that future with you is going to be secure without you pushing him to do things which are out of his comfort zone.Taurus loves to give but demands depress him.The fear of you getting emotionally demanding or pushing him for a better life in later stages makes him sick.
So you might have messed with his idea of security.So re assure him that you won't push him.Rather stay patient with him and he will do everything he has for you.
But its gone far.I guess he doesn't love you the same way he would once.Thats why you see he is bullying you.He is being selfish too. He is taking you forgranted.
So as I said wait for some time and if things didn't work..MOVE ON..Taurus will unlikely be same old taurus again.
I honestly dont care about his financial situation, and i believe he has the anger outbursts because he is so stressful about his financial situation, but i never questioned him on that, i never said anything.
When he is in good mood, he is the best man in the world, he doesnt scare on showing his emotions and loyalty in front of other people, he knows how to love me and what i need.
I never pushed him to do anything, i never even asked him to stop, all i said is that the gambling situation makes me sad and that he doesnt need to do it in my opinion as things might get worst...
He didnt even went to a lawyer about his situation and i took him to the best lawyer over these issues, and he boost his confidence that there is a solution on that, and now they working that out...
For 4 years he didnt bother paying any of his depth so he is now bank craft, but there is a solution, but i never questioned him on that.
I never demanded anything on purpose, never demanded dinners, gifts or holidays... all i asked him a couple of times was to do something together as a couple, if that is pushing him then what can i say other than i am sorry!
He didnt want to pay rent (all this time i was the one paying the rent - was ofcourse my apartment would have never asked him to pay) but he said that all these money is like throwing them away... he wanted us to buy a big house, but take mortgage just on my name is impossible, i couldnt do that. That is the only time i said i cant do this to him.
I offered him though another solution, that we can renovate my parents old house, i can take o loan for that, and instead of rent, paying for the renovation, and when we are financially more stable, we can sell or rent the house out and buy a new one. But he said he wanted a bigger house with big garden and pool. When a 3 bedroom house is a small house— We cant have what you want right now...
He never talks, and i didnt even ask him why all these years he wasnt paying for his depths.. i am either too stupid and i cant figure out what he wants from me, or he is the guy who just dont care of paying his depths and just wants to find someone very rich to take him out of this situation.
When he is in good mood, he is the best man in the world, he doesnt scare on showing his emotions and loyalty in front of other people, he knows how to love me and what i need.
I never pushed him to do anything, i never even asked him to stop, all i said is that the gambling situation makes me sad and that he doesnt need to do it in my opinion as things might get worst...
He didnt even went to a lawyer about his situation and i took him to the best lawyer over these issues, and he boost his confidence that there is a solution on that, and now they working that out...
For 4 years he didnt bother paying any of his depth so he is now bank craft, but there is a solution, but i never questioned him on that.
I never demanded anything on purpose, never demanded dinners, gifts or holidays... all i asked him a couple of times was to do something together as a couple, if that is pushing him then what can i say other than i am sorry!
He didnt want to pay rent (all this time i was the one paying the rent - was ofcourse my apartment would have never asked him to pay) but he said that all these money is like throwing them away... he wanted us to buy a big house, but take mortgage just on my name is impossible, i couldnt do that. That is the only time i said i cant do this to him.
I offered him though another solution, that we can renovate my parents old house, i can take o loan for that, and instead of rent, paying for the renovation, and when we are financially more stable, we can sell or rent the house out and buy a new one. But he said he wanted a bigger house with big garden and pool. When a 3 bedroom house is a small house— We cant have what you want right now...
He never talks, and i didnt even ask him why all these years he wasnt paying for his depths.. i am either too stupid and i cant figure out what he wants from me, or he is the guy who just dont care of paying his depths and just wants to find someone very rich to take him out of this situation.
Wow...mmm, can I marry you? lol. It sounds like he just wants your money. He wants you to buy a big house so maybe mom moves in to? If you marry him, all his financial problems becomes yours. Stay away from him. He does not sound trustworthy.
Do you realize that you are unhealthy, he's unhealthy, so there is no possible way, right now, for your relationship to thrive with two unstable people. I can tell that he's taking up a lot of your energy, you are completely off balance. The solutions you come up with fixing his problems fall on deaf ears if you keep neglecting yourself.
Really, I don't think you see the situation you've created for him nor yourself. You've been an enabler, and the last thing this man needs is another one of those. He knows that you are extremely strong, only a strong person can tolerate this and still be by his side at the end of the day, but that in turn has made him extremely weak and insecure. Now he only feels like someone when he's being unreasonable, yelling, giving demands and trying to control the situation. His abusive ways towards you gives him short lived "power."
This relationship will never work unless you make some needed changes within. You have more power than you think, but you have to tip the scales back to you and getting yourself back healthy again. He sounds like a lost puppy that will either continue to be lost or follow a good thing. You really should leave him, but you don't sound like you are ready, so just work on yourself for now.
Really, I don't think you see the situation you've created for him nor yourself. You've been an enabler, and the last thing this man needs is another one of those. He knows that you are extremely strong, only a strong person can tolerate this and still be by his side at the end of the day, but that in turn has made him extremely weak and insecure. Now he only feels like someone when he's being unreasonable, yelling, giving demands and trying to control the situation. His abusive ways towards you gives him short lived "power."
This relationship will never work unless you make some needed changes within. You have more power than you think, but you have to tip the scales back to you and getting yourself back healthy again. He sounds like a lost puppy that will either continue to be lost or follow a good thing. You really should leave him, but you don't sound like you are ready, so just work on yourself for now.
Thank you for all these inana04, but i guess i am unable to see how i became an enabler (a person who by their actions make it easier for an addict to continue their self-destructive behavior by criticizing or rescuing)for him?
He said he cant stand his mother, because he is over criticizing him and just needs a person to understand him. I try to make him happy
My mind right now is just not clear, how do my actions made him weak and insecure since i have been there for him...
How can i make those changes?? how do i act towards him?
I KNOW that i am unable to think clearly and i know possibilities are that i am acting the wrong way, i just need someone to open my eyes and explain me with examples how i can make those changes, if there are any chances to save of what left from the ashes....
He said he cant stand his mother, because he is over criticizing him and just needs a person to understand him. I try to make him happy
My mind right now is just not clear, how do my actions made him weak and insecure since i have been there for him...
How can i make those changes?? how do i act towards him?
I KNOW that i am unable to think clearly and i know possibilities are that i am acting the wrong way, i just need someone to open my eyes and explain me with examples how i can make those changes, if there are any chances to save of what left from the ashes....
Posted by Valentina
Thank you for all these inana04, but i guess i am unable to see how i became an enabler (a person who by their actions make it easier for an addict to continue their self-destructive behavior by criticizing or rescuing)for him?
He said he cant stand his mother, because he is over criticizing him and just needs a person to understand him. I try to make him happy
My mind right now is just not clear, how do my actions made him weak and insecure since i have been there for him...
How can i make those changes?? how do i act towards him?
I KNOW that i am unable to think clearly and i know possibilities are that i am acting the wrong way, i just need someone to open my eyes and explain me with examples how i can make those changes, if there are any chances to save of what left from the ashes....
If you go back and re-read your post, it's been all about him. Everything you do is to make him happy, and everything you don't do is to not make him upset. It all revolves around him. Regardless of how he acts towards you, regardless of what he wants from you both emotionally and financially, you try your best to do it despite how unreasonable he's being. With so much attention given and with the ability to take take take and no restrictions from you, that's enabling him. Really, who asks for a house with a garden and pool with NO MONEY? He sounds like a child that doesn't know any better, and you and parent with no control. You know it's silly and selfish, but you do whatever you think will please him which is why he feels comfortable asking and behaving the way he does. You are not thinking about how this behavior will continue on and breed worse behavior from him. You are also neglecting your wants/needs and not letting him see the real you and how you feel about his actions.
I just think you can improve the situation by taking your focus off of him and directing it back to you.
He is in depression and to be honest all you can do for him at the moment is to leave him alone but be there whenever he asks for.I know it sounds like he is a kids but its true.Let him solve his problems and if he needs you help him.
But this should not go forever.As I said wait for another few months and see how things go.
In the mean time make him want you not the other way round. Thats your last card.
Good luck
But this should not go forever.As I said wait for another few months and see how things go.
In the mean time make him want you not the other way round. Thats your last card.
Good luck
Ouf, thank you guys, i just feel so much better for taking all these out of me, its hard when you want advice and you cant talk to people who know in real life because you gave a promise...
This morning he phone me... we talk, he waited that i would give him a call at some time, but i didnt. The he rings me, but i was strong and i just let him wait and i didnt answer
He phone back after half and hour... i answered and he was like were have you been i was calling you...?_ i just said i was busy... then half an hour later he calls again... i didnt answer, and he texts me to ask if i have started not wanting to talk to him, i just replied i never said that.
He calls again, when he finished work and he asks me, do you want to see me?? And i just said its up to you, i dont mind if you want to come but i dont mind if you dont either!!! He went silent (confused i guess) He said ok, we will talk later.
2 minutes passed and he said, Can i have some coffee? i said you are welcome. he came and i was just playing with the dog and he was kinda confused, he was pushing me to sit next to him, and he wanted to cuddle me all the time while watching tv... he left a while ago...
Tomorrow i will be strong and i will not give him a call. To see how this will end.....
This morning he phone me... we talk, he waited that i would give him a call at some time, but i didnt. The he rings me, but i was strong and i just let him wait and i didnt answer
He phone back after half and hour... i answered and he was like were have you been i was calling you...?_ i just said i was busy... then half an hour later he calls again... i didnt answer, and he texts me to ask if i have started not wanting to talk to him, i just replied i never said that.
He calls again, when he finished work and he asks me, do you want to see me?? And i just said its up to you, i dont mind if you want to come but i dont mind if you dont either!!! He went silent (confused i guess) He said ok, we will talk later.
2 minutes passed and he said, Can i have some coffee? i said you are welcome. he came and i was just playing with the dog and he was kinda confused, he was pushing me to sit next to him, and he wanted to cuddle me all the time while watching tv... he left a while ago...
Tomorrow i will be strong and i will not give him a call. To see how this will end.....
Look at the stress all this is causing you.
Seriously, does this guy care about you? Pushing his problems your way, causing upset and stress, letting you take charge of it all. He's a child, not a man.
This gambling? This is the point where you say "Gambling is a deal-breaker for me. It's too stressful. Get help with it and give me a call when you've sorted yourself out".
Not answering his calls is a passive aggressive way of saying "Fuck you, I'm taking control here" but instead of actually saying that you're confusing him. You aren't helping yourself. What's wrong with saying to him "I don't like the way things are going, I'm fucked off with the crap and drama that's going on, it needs to stop immediately or I'm cutting all contact with you permanently".
Shock him, shock his socks off, stand up for yourself, have a VOICE, this is your life and your mental health being affected by the selfishness of this one man.
Seriously, does this guy care about you? Pushing his problems your way, causing upset and stress, letting you take charge of it all. He's a child, not a man.
This gambling? This is the point where you say "Gambling is a deal-breaker for me. It's too stressful. Get help with it and give me a call when you've sorted yourself out".
Not answering his calls is a passive aggressive way of saying "Fuck you, I'm taking control here" but instead of actually saying that you're confusing him. You aren't helping yourself. What's wrong with saying to him "I don't like the way things are going, I'm fucked off with the crap and drama that's going on, it needs to stop immediately or I'm cutting all contact with you permanently".
Shock him, shock his socks off, stand up for yourself, have a VOICE, this is your life and your mental health being affected by the selfishness of this one man.
Guys.. c'mon don't be rude on that Taurus guy. Valentina is writing all these posts not because she wants to end the relationship or to be judgmental about him but to save the relationship. Because she truly LOVES him.
Valentina,
My mother is a Virgo and my dad is a Taurus. I know exactly what you're talking about. They fight for everything like kids but they have a deeper understanding. And in few minutes they come back to normal and laugh and make jokes at each other. But it's always my Mom who comes down. And I am also a Taurus, though I get upset with my mother very often, I love her.
The point is, though he may be reckless and all... he loves you in a more deeper way that others from the outside cant see. You know what I mean? You too must have felt that. 😉 And that is why you are trying to save the relationship. 🙂
Valentina,
My mother is a Virgo and my dad is a Taurus. I know exactly what you're talking about. They fight for everything like kids but they have a deeper understanding. And in few minutes they come back to normal and laugh and make jokes at each other. But it's always my Mom who comes down. And I am also a Taurus, though I get upset with my mother very often, I love her.
The point is, though he may be reckless and all... he loves you in a more deeper way that others from the outside cant see. You know what I mean? You too must have felt that. 😉 And that is why you are trying to save the relationship. 🙂
Thank you COmrade.. although all the other posts made me think, i keep ending it to I just love him...
I wish i could talk to him without knowing that he would burst out in anger, or leave and never talk to me again.
Yesterday he decided that he doesnt want to talk more than 2 times a days. I am just going with what he wants, and trying to be patient... Until i will not be able to hold anything else inside... and either a huge fight will happen and never talk to him again, ori will shock him and get more reasonable.
I have just lost hope.
I wish i could talk to him without knowing that he would burst out in anger, or leave and never talk to me again.
Yesterday he decided that he doesnt want to talk more than 2 times a days. I am just going with what he wants, and trying to be patient... Until i will not be able to hold anything else inside... and either a huge fight will happen and never talk to him again, ori will shock him and get more reasonable.
I have just lost hope.
Yesterday he decided that he doesnt want to talk more than 2 times a days.
------------
lol that's exactly how my dad is. That's weird... even I don't understand that. Your guy an April born Taurus by any chance?
------------
lol that's exactly how my dad is. That's weird... even I don't understand that. Your guy an April born Taurus by any chance?
nop middle of may..
here is his birth chart, if you can make any sense out of it
Sun Taurus 23.54 Ascendant Libra 14.31
Moon Taurus 24.45 II Scorpio 12.27
Mercury Taurus 25.19 III Sagittarius 13.18
Venus Cancer 0.39 IV Capricorn 16.00
Mars Virgo 3.15 V Aquarius 18.32
Jupiter Virgo 0.45 VI Pisces 18.31
Saturn Virgo 20.15 R VII Aries 14.31
Uranus Scorpio 23.32 R VIII Taurus 12.27
Neptune Sagittarius 22.02 R IX Gemini 13.18
Pluto Libra 19.31 R Midheaven Cancer 16.00
Lilith Libra 4.29 XI Leo 18.32
Asc node Leo 24.54 XII Virgo 18.31
here is his birth chart, if you can make any sense out of it
Sun Taurus 23.54 Ascendant Libra 14.31
Moon Taurus 24.45 II Scorpio 12.27
Mercury Taurus 25.19 III Sagittarius 13.18
Venus Cancer 0.39 IV Capricorn 16.00
Mars Virgo 3.15 V Aquarius 18.32
Jupiter Virgo 0.45 VI Pisces 18.31
Saturn Virgo 20.15 R VII Aries 14.31
Uranus Scorpio 23.32 R VIII Taurus 12.27
Neptune Sagittarius 22.02 R IX Gemini 13.18
Pluto Libra 19.31 R Midheaven Cancer 16.00
Lilith Libra 4.29 XI Leo 18.32
Asc node Leo 24.54 XII Virgo 18.31
Sharontate... if life was as simple as stars are then would have been a happy fairytale for all of us
cOmrade, all you're doing is excusing this man's behaviour and encouraging the thread author to live in hope. The Taurus man is pushing stress and upset, childish behaviour and bullshit her way to the point where she is at her wits end and you're encouraging her to continue with unhealthy habits.
She may want to save the relationship, but she's being treated like shit, so why encourage her to accept what he's doing as being okay?
She may want to save the relationship, but she's being treated like shit, so why encourage her to accept what he's doing as being okay?
NZAqua,
You're very correct. But the couple seem more attached. She says he is still talking to her and spending time and all. Taurus generally don't keep in touch with any women for long if they don't think the woman is his ladylove.
You're very correct. But the couple seem more attached. She says he is still talking to her and spending time and all. Taurus generally don't keep in touch with any women for long if they don't think the woman is his ladylove.
What? no i never stick on anyone... i need my "me" time too, i am not that type of woman to be stick on other's bottom lol
He is the one who would go out with his mates, and would calling me every 10 minutes, and couldnt stay there for more than 40 minutes, because he didnt feel right....
He is the one who would go out with his mates, and would calling me every 10 minutes, and couldnt stay there for more than 40 minutes, because he didnt feel right....
Valentina,
Don't try to change anything. Just chill... he'll come around.
Don't try to change anything. Just chill... he'll come around.
Thank you Sharontate, i do appreciate that, i guess you are as confused as i am lol
c0mrade, thank you too, i am not trying to change anything, i am just trying to understand cause i am running out of patient... lol
c0mrade, thank you too, i am not trying to change anything, i am just trying to understand cause i am running out of patient... lol
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