is he serious about me? insight please

—I'm not ready to be in relationship right now because when I love, I love hard. And I??ve been hurt and I am just not ready to do that again. I just don't know if I am ready to do that right now. And what happens when I graduate from college in may? I don't want this all to be for nothing. I don't just lay in girls beds at night, I??ve come to realize how much I care for you and only time will tell, you know? Like maybe as we go on I will slowly up and be ready for us. Does that make sense— - my taurus


we've known each other since May and have been talking ever since. Been taking it very slow. We aren't a couple but we act like one, but keep walls up at the same time.

This conversation came up when we were in bed snuggling at night just talking. We always TRY to talk about how we are feeling since things aren't really defined and we are just taking it day by day. But I still don't know what he is really thinking and feeling.

QUESTION:

I have a lot of insecurities speaking in my head since I dont truly know where he stands and since we arent together. But I just want some Taurus insight on your process on entering another relationship. Or maybe life after a couple of heartbreaks? I just know if hes truly interested or serious about me.

How do i know he is serious or that I am a girl he could maybe see himself with? I mean i know he gives all the signs like bringing ice cream to me because me head hurt, cooking for me, holding me close at night, and other stuff...when he does all those things i know he cares but when he will text me during the day and then vanishes till the next morning like he has done the last two days..thats when i start to question myself and how he feels. My insecurities start to take over and the second guessing begins.

Posted by LOVELYDAY
f...when he does all those things i know he cares but when he will text me during the day and then vanishes till the next morning like he has done the last two days..thats when i start to question myself and how he feels. My insecurities start to take over and the second guessing begins.

I'm a Taurus dating a Taurus. I've have dealt with this from my man plenty of times. Sometimes he does this when he's really stressed, mad at me, or overwhelmed with emotions. I do the same thing, especially when I'm feeling insecure about our relationship. I start to second guess too, even tho we have a very close bond. We kinda need a moment to pull back & get our feelings together.

how can i tell the difference between him taking a step back because he is feeling a lot of emotions and him just pulling away because he doesnt want to do this anymore?

Things were going so good. He spend the whole weekend staying in with me because i was sick when he was planning to go out. And we just had so much fun and left on good terms. Then once the week starts he kinds of started to pull away and just slowing vanishing. He will text me and we'll talk and usually it will turn in to him asking me to come over or me to come over or just saying goodnight. non of that

I dont know if he is vanishing because he is afraid things will go further or what?

He said he wasn't ready for a relationship just yet & they don't usually say things like this unless they mean it. Don't let your insecurities drive him away. Play it cool, live your life independently and keep communication open with him with no resentment or insecurity. The stronger you are the more he will be attracted to you. Taurus men like strong woman who have their s**t together.

answers (s)

1)When he's with you , is he somewhat or very affectionate with you?

very affectionate all the time.
- in the car when i was in the back seat and he was in the front driving and his roommate in the passenger he had his hand on my leg the whole time just rubbing it
- when ever he stays the nights or i stay the night he is always constantly touching me or my hair. touching my back, legs, hips and butt when were talking in bed. just sweet gentle touches.
- rubs my back for me to go to sleep
- always welcomes me with a big long hug
- pulls me close at night if i get far
- kisses all over


2)Have the two of you ever been intimate?

- yes but it took a VERY long time for him to even kiss me. because when we first starting talking it took us about 2 months for us to communicate about what we were. i mean we both knew we were more than friends but we never sat down and talked about where it was going or what we were, but once we did talk that's when the kisses and intimacy came. Before that there were just kisses on the forehead. and we haven't had sex because i am just not ready for that yet with him and neither is he.. especially if he is going to continue his plan on keeping things from going too far.

3)What's your sign?

-I am a gemini



4) How often do you bring up the idea of the two of you evolving?

- ehh not very often only when we get into deep talks.. we try to just let things go with the flow instead of talking and just take it day by day. (even though inside I trying really hard to tell myself to be patient)

AB,

But I feel that if I let him know how I feel he is going to run away since he isn't ready for a relationship. How do i let him know that i care about him without freaking him out or making him feel pressure?

also, thanks for your input Midgetbull, Mistery, cutiebullie, and LenaTheBull. You ladies are GREAT!


Question, do you keep someone around like this if you don't see something coming from it?

Cutiebullie,

yes, that's what I am being really suprisingly understand and not so heart about him not being ready because I know he is about to go head on in pursuing his dreams. He is about to graduate in May and currently he is working on internships, lunches with Alums and just setting him self up for success when he enters the real world. I can't remember exactly what he was saying when he was like "and i just dont want to bring you into all that".. i dont know if those were his exact words but he is very focused right now and I know he isnt going to let some relationship get in the way of that? So just be patient? maybe if we continue to get close maybe he will attempt to commit to me.. but i know its hard because what happens when he graduates? long distance is hard... maybe he realize im worth working for and we could make it.

i mean obviously if he is saying he isnt ready for a relationship he could possibly see us in one?

I don't know right now because it is still really early, we met in June. So, I coudlnt tell you right now if I would be able to do long distance with him. I think the only thing that keeps me holding on is the potential. When he says "but only time will tell, maybe Ill be able to open up and give myself away agian soon"

Like things are so good when they are and we'll see each other everyday and hang out all the time but then weekends like this he'll still text me but then vanish in the middle of a convo.

I guess just let him go and if he comes back..?

Well he always comes back. So maybe until he proves himself

Maybe he has said he's not ready for a relationship because he thinks you're not ready and he doesn't want to scare you off? Especially if he has been the one handing out the affection with little in return. I think you should tell him what you want from him and find out if you're on the same page. 1 thing is more painful than loving someone who doesn't love you back, and that is never having the courage to tell someone that you love them and always wondering.

Posted by lioness81
Maybe he has said he's not ready for a relationship because he thinks you're not ready and he doesn't want to scare you off? Especially if he has been the one handing out the affection with little in return. I think you should tell him what you want from him and find out if you're on the same page. 1 thing is more painful than loving someone who doesn't love you back, and that is never having the courage to tell someone that you love them and always wondering.

What's the point? He said he doesn't want a relationship. Why argue with it when he's said it plainly and clearly?

He does not want a relationship.

End of story.