Terrified of being alone

Hi all,

I'm a Taurus sun, Aqua moon, Aries Venus, Leo Mars, Virgo rising female (23 years old) and I absolutely hate being alone but hate people clinging on too (probs my aqua moon) - so it's almost impossible to establish a good balance.. 😢 whoever really cares tends to become too clingy whereas aloof people are never around when you want a chat or to go out somewhere so I'm nearly always unhappy 😢.

I am not romantic at all (but like fun, caring, lively guys but not sombre, overly sensitive, emotional guys)..

Even a few hours after a break-up, I'm so wanting to find someone new to chat too (it's almost like a hunger craving) so I never have to face being totally alone..

I detest the idea of marriage, children, etc. but hate the idea of being on my own. 😢

But even when I'm with someone, I only want to physically hang out with them one day every 1 or 2 weeks as I like to get on with things on my own like going shopping, watching t.v, eating, etc. but knowing there's someone around to ask me via text in the evening each day how my day was, almost motivates me to achieve a lot and be productive. I know I should do things for my own satisfaction but I've been doing the going it alone thing for so long already 😢. Was with someone briefly when I was 20 (few months, he had emotional baggage, over a decade older and was very hot-cold but very caring).. this was on-off for about 10 months (mainly off, especially due to his guilt about our age difference, he thought it might get better once I'm older).

Age 21, mainly alone, had a few guy friends but no one I liked romantically.

Age 22, met someone online and had a brief relationship for 3 months, he was a major player (totally fine except he wouldn't admit it and somehow wanted a stay at home person to have a child with, whilst he plays around with others so he can have the best of both which doesn't work for me)

3 months later (still age 22), met someone else online, was very serious, caring, never initiated any physical contact except hugs but would buy me presents and speak to me everyday and really cared and listened to my opinions, he also seemingly wanted children a lot (he was only a year older than me so not straight away).. After 8 months, he has decided to completely change his life around after a family problem - meaning he quit his job and has decided to leave his home, job, life, to travel the world for at least a year or more.. (within 4 days of the family issue triggering it) so even though we've not had any fights or disagreements, that's basically over.. this was a few days ago.. I hate being back to square 1 but I don't really miss him either.. mainly again fear of being alone. I like someone thinking of me every day, even if that is selfish haha.

Also, it probs doesn't help matters I have zero close female friends.. 😢 always. It only ever gets to as far as casual small talk if I bump into them somewhere. Even when I look at my damn fb chat recent chats, all of them are male (99% of them are male friends by the way, not romantic relations) as it's just been easy to get along with guys, no drama, so I've never tried or put in loads of effort into befriending girls and I think I come across quite aloof and rude (not on purpose) in front of girls (but I am a girl too).



Urgh this post is a total mess but just wanted to ask what I should.. this issue has been bugging me almost my whole life.

You are not alone I am here with you in that sense. It's okay. Really.

Not only are you young but even I at a young age like you, but I was with my ex at the time and it wasn't all that and bag of chips. I always wondered what I could do differently to fix the problem but just can't it seem. It seems either you are mature and responsible for actions and words and know. Or not.

And also the way I was brought up pretty much independent at birth anything I'm was taught was pretty much self taught. Even in astrology too, and other subjects.

I do stay around people like minded with a touch of spice. Because I am both. So it's cool. I balance it together and hope someone will meet me halfway all times.

So flash forward 9 years later with a few dates here and there. But I am also doing other stuff to do. I know I'm getting older and I had made a choice no kids or marriage but would like a lover or best friend...

maybe you have about the same masculine and feminine energy as I do cause I met guys like candy and we'll I work in a dominant woman's field and I don't really choose my friends I let it come naturally. Ones that want to chat and understand food even.

I got a whole lot of loving and loving attitude for me and others are you kidding. Just takes a minute.

Urgh this post is a total mess but just wanted to ask what I should.. this issue has been bugging me almost my whole life.





I'm sure you're confusing yourself as it's understandable. Here's what you need to do. Continue to meet men online, BUT specifically target men that live outside your city/town. I did. At the beginning I reversed it and dissed men that lived outside my city. Now, I met a man (Cappy) who lives an hour and a half away from me. Why? Because like you, I LOVE my freedom! I can wear no make up on Sundays, brush my teeth later, shower later, and just hang out in my own home with no one knocking on my door, nor cell phone ringing/texting of the dude I am seeing. We both love this life. He's not much of a talker, and he's the one pursing me. I love the attention but to a certain degree. All my exes (live in Texas 😆 would text me every treetrunking day! Dude! I am at work! I cannot give you my undivided attention (but I would because I am a multitasker). So I comprehend where you're coming from. This Cappy LISTENS to my telling him, "I work M-F, I have a son that I help with his homework each and every Monday, he goes to see his dad every TR (Thursday) and every other weekend he goes to stay w/his dad. That's when I can have a life of my own. I can get a baby sitter if need be. Also, I work out TRs thru Sundays; so yes, I can 'squeeze' in a date or two if I want to". He LISTENED and doesn't "bother me at work". Every now and then he'll text me, "Hey, girl", etc. I've learned from this forum that it means he's interested in me. I might say we've been on two dates (excluding the first time we met over java at Starbucks) and he made plans for this Sunday himself to go to a sports bar to watch the Dallas Cowboys vs Eagles (he hates the Eagles). I don't question him when he openly told me he's off on Mondays/Tuesdays because I have a life w/responsibilities, bills, trials/tribulations, etc. just like anyone else.

Yeah, you might say that you need to find someone that lives out of town from you. That way (like myself) you can meet him 1/2 way at a restaurant for a Saturday date. Also, this past Saturday he kept sneaking in to kiss me 😄 I already asked him (the workaholic and he goes to tech school to be a certified a/c tech; graduates in May 2017) to ask his boss for a day off on a Saturday so we can celebrate "German" fest in another city in between us next month. I'm sure I don't have to remind the Cappy to do this as he "listens to what I say to him". After our date last Saturday, I drove back home and he texted me, "You are beautiful". I reciprocated and told him he was "A handsome man". You'll find someone like this Cappy man as you need to find someone who is NOT ready to jump in the sack with (Saggy), texting you 20,000 times a day (Saggy), a liar (Libra)..see the pattern?

Good luck. Cyber hugs! 🤗

Love,

Eva

PS: This Cappy has NOT asked me to delete my account on the "online dating site" and vice versa. Boy! Is this guy DIFFERENT! 😎

Posted by JohnTheBaptist100
Aqua moons are generally cold....

Not good at making or meeting friends...

Spend some time on your own and cultivating activities so you develop in yourself without the need to constantly be in a relationship or having someone to be there to suit your needs when you need it and not cater to their needs...

I disagree, myself and some other aqua moons are really good at socializing , making friends, but , it completely drains me dealing with people even tho i love being with them.

Cold part is totally true 😄

@aj123

I totally share most of your POV, but, for example I'm in a 3 year relationship, and I still feel very lonely, I miss those times I had alot of male friends, people to chat up.

But as @Sagsagsags said, I really think we need to be in love with ourselves , that way solitude wont be scaring as it seems to you right now, and things will continue to evolve.

🙂