Totally Worth It...

I haven't posted in a while but since I don't talk to my RL friends about my relationship I have to gush to the people of DXP.

After all of the running and chasing and chasing and running...all the uncertainty and fear...just after all the everything we've finally found our rhythm and it's just so great. As someone who's read about theTaurean charge and the difference in a taurean once he's in love and commited, I never really believed the difference would be so EPIC! It's so epic that it makes me look back on the almost 2 years before this and think, damn did he even like me then? Because the way he is now is sooooooo much more than he's ever been for me...and I wasn't complaining then, even then I thought he was really into me. But clearly a bull in love is just soooo much more. And you just won't know it until you experience it for yourself. I'm in the middle of this and it's like nothing I've ever experienced before. And according to him he's just getting started, he hasn't even really shown me what he plans for us yet. It's amazing to see this workaholic of a man...this man who barely ever had time for me before put so much effort into us and make the sacrifice to be with me even though he's still just a busy as he was when we met. It fills me with such joy that it makes me want to turn around and do everything in my power to make him as happy as he makes me. He's so thoughtful and generous and affectionate and loving and protective...he even does my laundry for me while I'm at work. I could go on and on and on but it would just be obscene.
I just know that things can end and while they are like this I wanted to shout it from the rooftop so that if they ever do change I can come back to this post and reminisce about this time when we were so in love, knowing this isn't a fleeting honeymoon period because we've been at this for years now and done every terrible thing we can to each other already. We know each other's worst and maybe that's the whole point of the taurean slowness.

All I can say is among the million things I've learned about myself, him and us since we met, one of the major things is when a bull is REALLY into you...you know it. You'd have to be blind, deaf and dumb to miss it. You can see it from space. Ok that's my ode to my bull! :-)

No he did the majority of the chasing. Most of my chasing was in my head. But I appreciate him for that

Thanks Impulsv! Its been a long winding road. How are you?

CC...Yes for the 1st 1.5 years of our relationship I would run and push him away because of his lack of time and the nagging feeling he wasn't all in. Just my general fear and trust issues. In these last months we had a falling out didnt speak for a few weeks and I had time to really figure out what I wanted. So when he came back around I decided to stop running and stop expecting things to happen on my schedule and just let them happen and that's how we ended up here. I hope that helps

Posted by CluelessCancer
So were you guys in a relationship for 2 years or just danced with one another...that seems like a long time to see where something is heading...but i think consistency works with Earth signs.

we were in a relationship for the 1st yr ish then I broke things off and he chased for about 7 mos then we separated for a few weeks and restarted things on a better level. I hated the slowness at first but ive really come to appreciate it. I would have sabotaged this relationship if he wasn't as slow as he is

So happy for you Fembot!!!! He must love you tons!!!

I feel the same way about my man, he is a cancerian.

Posted by VirgoDragirl
So happy for you Fembot!!!! He must love you tons!!!

I feel the same way about my man, he is a cancerian.

aww thank you and I wish you and yours nothing but success! This was a dup post so I'm going to try to figure out how to delete. Thanks again!!!

We didn't speak for about 2 months after I broke things off. He continued to reach out but at the time I just wanted it to be over. He did something pretty great on my bday and after that I tried to maintain the friendship which led to almost 6mos of hell and sabotage. When we separated for that few weeks we didn't speak then either but that was the first time he didn't even try to reach out. That's when I realized I needed to get it together before I lost him for good

Scorched I'd be offended if you weren't so incredibly right...IN SOME WAYS.

in the beginning I was all in...more so that I've ever been. He had me before I even realized what was happening. The problem is he triggered me with that hot n cold bullshit. To me it read like he wasn't really being real. Add a thirsty harem to the mix that he would not keep in check and yes I became a raging nutbag. I just liked him waaay too much and my emotions were waaay too involved for him not be all in. So I panicked and ran. But you are right because if I could have gotten out of my feeling for 10 seconds I would have noticer how much he tried and how he's solely responsible for keeping us together all this time. When I think about what I put him through and how I demonized him I feel awful for it and grateful that he never not once left me. That means the world to me. It wasn't me consciously playing games...my m.o. is just to run in relationships, so when I would feel overwhelmed or hurt I would run, sabotage and push him away in an attempt to not feel so exposed and out of control. And it wasn't the lack of chasing that bothered me it was not having him in my life in any capacity...it killed me. That's how I realized the only way to resolve this thing with him was to just walk the path and stop running.

But believe me for as good as he is to me now and has been I am giving it back 100 fold and he deserves it and so much more. It was a lewrning experience for me and it forced me to face my own shortcomings in the relationship...

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by fembot
We didn't speak for about 2 months after I broke things off. He continued to reach out but at the time I just wanted it to be over. He did something pretty great on my bday and after that I tried to maintain the friendship which led to almost 6mos of hell and sabotage. When we separated for that few weeks we didn't speak then either but that was the first time he didn't even try to reach out. That's when I realized I needed to get it together before I lost him for good

Can you expand on the 6 months of hell and sabotage? So he basically had to buy his way into your life? Is this a typical thing Virgos want?

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Umm no none of the things he did were money related. I may be cliche but im not that cliche. I wouldn't have let him buy me anything even if he tried at the time. And for me thoughtful acts are soo much more meaningful than monetary gain/gifts. I made a post back in Nov I think about how he papered my whole neighborhood and made a YouTube video when he found out I lost my dog. Those are the type of things he does... anybody can buy a gift but few people are that thoughtful.

the 6mos was hell because I was acting completely on emotions and impulse. I never stopped and asked myself what I really wanted or needed. I decided he was a bad guy and that we could only be friends. The problem was my feelings were still very much involved so I would take issue with things that really weren't my place as a friend only. I was blurring the lines, driving us both crazy, lying to myself and expecting everything and nothing all at once. It was just bad all around. Tbh if I was him I would have dropped me like a sack of potatoes. But I was so wrapped up in my emotions I didn't see what I was doing until we completely seperated and I took the time to ask myself why I was being so crazy. Yea I know I wasn't the best person but while being crazy I still would drop
Everything and be there for anything he needed as his friend. Dunno this is where we are despite my monumental efforts to sabotage it...

Fembot, congrats to you hon,

I wish the best for the both of you.

Don't beat yourself up too much. Virgos aren't perfect, but Bulls are no walk in the park either.

Snail moving + Stubborness + Very little Communication = Severe Headache.

It becomes even worse when there is a presence of another Earth sign on the receiving end of it.

I'm a Bull. I should know. Just ask my Virgo 😉


Your Taurus has already embraced all your imperfections, flaws, and insecurities.

Just learn to always be in the moment with him. Don't over-analyze it too much. Kiss him. Touch him. You will have his heart forever.

Good Luck sweetie.

Posted by scorchedearth
virgo, i know how maddening it can be when a taurus is going at a snails pace. i've dated a bunch myself. the thing is though you can tell by the way we never really leave that we're not going anywhere. there may be no forward movement at first. but there's no movement away either. that might not seem like much. but you should realize that if a taurus isn't planning on investing in you for the long haul we're not going to bother sticking around at all. a taurus also needs a lot of reassurance. so we wait and see how the other person is going to respond to the little things we do before we start doing big things. that's where we run into issues with virgos. you guys don't give an inch because we don't give an inch. it's frustrating to both parties. i've dealt with a few virgos myself. and it can be maddening at times. the dance we do. and i will say it again. MADDENING. there's really no better word for it. lol.

I really wish I had this advice back when I was spiraling out of control. But then again I probably wouldn't have listened to it at the time. But you are 1000% correct. When we started back up I made a promise that I would not run and I would have no expectatiins I would just allow the pace to makes itself. I decided when he went cold I wouldn't freak out and take it personal, I just let him have his space and kept it light even though it was killing me and I was dying to run. I started to return his affection and stopped being so negative about us. I even started to initiate from time to time (now that was hard). But as a result we've grown together more in these past few months than the entire year plus of our relationship. I think you're right about it taking one of us to step out on the limb and show the other its safe. Taking that chance as terrifying as it was got us here. But I can see why this pair rarely makes it off the ground. We're very alike and very different all at the same time.

I really couldn't understand it back then, I mean he wasn't moving forward and he could be sooo distant but he refused to go away no matter what I did. It freaked me out, annoyed me and made me think he was using me for the ego boost. I'd never seen anything like it. It took me a long time to accept that he really loves me and isn't going to just disappear... strange people you taureans. But im not complaining...anymore

Posted by TaurusBull1977
Fembot, congrats to you hon,

I wish the best for the both of you.

Don't beat yourself up too much. Virgos aren't perfect, but Bulls are no walk in the park either.

Snail moving + Stubborness + Very little Communication = Severe Headache.

It becomes even worse when there is a presence of another Earth sign on the receiving end of it.

I'm a Bull. I should know. Just ask my Virgo 😉


Your Taurus has already embraced all your imperfections, flaws, and insecurities.

Just learn to always be in the moment with him. Don't over-analyze it too much. Kiss him. Touch him. You will have his heart forever.

Good Luck sweetie.

Thank Taurusbull! I just try to remain mindful of my mistakes so that I dont trip over my emotions and fall into old bad habits again. I'm grateful to him and this relationship because it forced me to take a long look in the mirror and address my own flaws instead of condemning someone else for theirs. I'll always be grateful to him for what he's taught me about myself without even meaning to probably...but I'm a better person for it.

He's literally said the exact same thing verbatim about being in the moment soooo many times. Is there some sort of taurus script or something... but you're right we've both seen the worst of each other (I've seen him through some stuff too) and we're still here with a passion for each other. That makes me very hopeful for our future. Good luck to you and your virgo and I'd be interested in any advice you have about this pairing...

Scorched you summed it up perfectly. There would be times when we'd have a conversation and I felt like we literally spoke different languages. It was sooo frustrating and just made it impossible for me to feel comfortable with opening up and showing him how I really feel. Now that we're both bending...really it's like we both realized what the other person needed to feel loved and we've both started to give that. Now what seemed like an impossibly disastrous relationship now feels like an epiphany...like the most natural wonderful feeling ever. Underneath both of our steely exteriors is 2 hopeless romantics who just love to be near each other. You would never know how soft we are looking from the outside. I love being able to be this authentic. I can see now why they say this match works...we both seem to have what the other lacks...

VIRGOS: A special breed of annoying!

I want a tshirt that says this...lol

Posted by KingRat

Posted by fembot
VIRGOS: A special breed of annoying!

I want a tshirt that says this...lol

persnickety wud make a cute tee imo! 😄

click to expand

oh yes I always enjoy an opportunity to use persnickety!

Posted by fembot
I can see now why they say this match works...we both seem to have what the other lacks...

This is very true!

Hmmm scorched your comment about the more than friends less than dating strikes a chord. I basically presented that to my bull more in an attempt to let him know I wasn't rushing now that I know what I need. I thought it would take the pressure off of him to make things official. This actually had the opposite effect and made him commit harder. Why do you guys not like this if the person tells you its only you ever and we're just saying we can take our time and get our lives in order before making it official?

11 years...please expand. Thats a long time to be more than friends less than dating. Is there some goal she's working towards that's keeping her from commiting?

Hmmm...I NEVER thought of it that way, but I can see your point. To me it's actually HUGELY positive when I can tell someone that. It means that I'm soooo sure of our future together that we don't even need a label. Label or not we belong to each other, so take your time do what you need to to get ready and when we're both ready when whatever goal we're working towardd is accomplished and we can really give each other what we really want to give each other of ourselves THEN we can make it official. And by that time we can go ahead and take a stroll down the aisle because we're ready... it's a huge thing for me to be able to say that to him and really mean it. I really hope he didn't take it to mean I'm not really in this cause that is the opposite of my point.

Ohhhh ok well that makes a bit more sense to me. If you virgo is anything like me, something like that would be incredibly hard to get past. I mean I'd forgive you sure and even keep maybe seeing you if the feelings are really strong, but the insecurity that would breed in me with you would be epic. It would hit a lot of insecurities we virgos have about not being good enough off the top and just breed more insecurities about ever being enough for you. That would start off the running, sabotaging, indirect behavior...just all around bad virgo traits. And I know I wouldnt be able to make it official until I was able to heal and move on from those insecurities. Believe me you don't want to be with an insecure virgo. But I'm super pro taurus/virgo right now so I really hope you guys find a way through this. 11 years something keeps bringing you back.

Aww man I missed it... 😢 but I'll respect your privacy...

hahaha.

Denver34,

you made me laugh. lol. it's ok they are little boys.... it's ok.

Posted by scorchedearth
CC taureans should be with crabs because you guys don't pull this stupid shit. you guys are just as loyal and just as invested in making shit work as we are. and you guys don't randomly give in over nothing the way mutable signs do. you guys hold on the way we do too.

really a cancer is a more emo taurus. but essentially all that we want is the same. our ideals. the things that make us tick. you guys are more money focused than we are, but we can work with that shit.

True, Cancers, the cardinal, doesn't flip flop. We instigate. The problem is if we finally decide that something isn't working and can't be fixed we will make up our minds to do it and up and leave. Most don't see it coming because they ignored the pleadings for change, or for fixing it, or the warning signs.

Posted by Denver34

Posted by TaurusBull1977

Posted by fembot
I can see now why they say this match works...we both seem to have what the other lacks...

This is very true!

you're a little boy

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Oh look! Mouse dick is playing "nice" with everyone! How refreshing. 🙂

Posted by MoonArtist


True, Cancers, the cardinal, doesn't flip flop. We instigate. The problem is if we finally decide that something isn't working and can't be fixed we will make up our minds to do it and up and leave. Most don't see it coming because they ignored the pleadings for change, or for fixing it, or the warning signs.

We don't see it coming also, because we underestimate just how much you've been packing away in your eternal treasure chest of unforgiveness - where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt. The relationship is not the *only* thing crabs will try to hold onto. Cancers are hoarders when it comes to the offenses of others. And as this wealth accumulates, they often simply lose their ability to feel for you, and its pretty final (unless you happen to have been their first love)....They'll maintain the status quo, particularly the companionship aspects, and finally tell you about this about a year or so afterwards, on their way out the door.

I don't think Cancer loyalty to keep the relationship going is *anything* like bulls. Cancers are loyal, above all, to their emotions, like most water signs IMO. If the feeling is gone, so are they. They live by emotion, and see love especially through this lense. Bulls IMO will tend to see their commitment as a decision they are sticking to, regardless of the waxing and waning of emotions.

On the topic of virgo/taurus, I've often thought they'd make a great pair. Like the water signs or any other from the same element: same but different and thus a huge potential for great understanding and passion.

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by MoonArtist


True, Cancers, the cardinal, doesn't flip flop. We instigate. The problem is if we finally decide that something isn't working and can't be fixed we will make up our minds to do it and up and leave. Most don't see it coming because they ignored the pleadings for change, or for fixing it, or the warning signs.

I don't think Cancer loyalty to keep the relationship going is *anything* like bulls. Cancers are loyal, above all, to their emotions, like most water signs IMO. If the feeling is gone, so are they. They live by emotion, and see love especially through this lense. Bulls IMO will tend to see their commitment as a decision they are sticking to, regardless of the waxing and waning of emotions.

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spot on observations.

I like success-in-progress stories that display growth and compromise. nice

Posted by TaurusLovesScorpio

Posted by MoonArtist


True, Cancers, the cardinal, doesn't flip flop. We instigate. The problem is if we finally decide that something isn't working and can't be fixed we will make up our minds to do it and up and leave. Most don't see it coming because they ignored the pleadings for change, or for fixing it, or the warning signs.

We don't see it coming also, because we underestimate just how much you've been packing away in your eternal treasure chest of unforgiveness - where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt. The relationship is not the *only* thing crabs will try to hold onto. Cancers are hoarders when it comes to the offenses of others. And as this wealth accumulates, they often simply lose their ability to feel for you, and its pretty final (unless you happen to have been their first love)....They'll maintain the status quo, particularly the companionship aspects, and finally tell you about this about a year or so afterwards, on their way out the door.

I don't think Cancer loyalty to keep the relationship going is *anything* like bulls. Cancers are loyal, above all, to their emotions, like most water signs IMO. If the feeling is gone, so are they. They live by emotion, and see love especially through this lense. Bulls IMO will tend to see their commitment as a decision they are sticking to, regardless of the waxing and waning of emotions.

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True and we remember almost everything tied to emotions, good and bad. We only hold onto the bad, though, if we have shoved the issue under someone's nose and tried to get the situation fixed but nothing has happened, nothing has been fixed and we feel we didn't even get an apology. Repeat offenses will also translate to "doesn't care/love". Don't tell me you love me and then verbally abuse me week after week turns to years, etc. Words mean nothing if the actions can't back it up. Doesn't matter how many times someone says they care if they repeatedly stab you in the back. People are human and less than perfect, so annoying behavior and silly disagreements can be over looked. More serious problems that show a lack of love can't be overlooked.