female Virgos , how private are you ??

There is something that bothers me about my Virgo wife of 20+ years (gem moon , Virgo Venus, Libra mars , Libra Merc).

She is very private person and has little or no close female friends , you know ? like BFFs and never does the ''girls night out'' thing with others . She has a few old friends but I get tired of her not expanding socially . I keep encouraging her to interact more with others , even with men - just other people to bounce around with and socialize. I am a very social and engaging Libra guy and she often brings me down by being a loner ,critical of others ...and... well kinda boring . Sorry if that sounds cruel . What can I do to warm her up to others and get her to spark up new friendships?? any thoughts are very welcome and thanks !

Ah The Libra with 2 million friends.If she is a loner,she likes her solitiude.If she is being critical,she is bored,unless you are constantly surprising her with some of your fans(LOL).Maybe you can have a date night once a month,so she can remembered why she married you!There must be a hobby or two that she has forgotten about.Does she garden? Write?Decorate? Paint?Read? Maybe join a book group.It has to be something that doesn't throw her to far afield to begin with.

She sounds like she has sort of lost her way.Hopefully,she is healthy,being down might have a medical basis. She needs to be inspired.How about taking a one night community course together?Dancing?Cooking?Volunteering?A community cause?Park renewal?Virgos usually don't have scads of friends bouncing around,where as Leebs have friends popping out from every corner.Sweet you to notice,smart of you to get her motivated.

Thankyou Vulcan, I will respond tomorrow when I have a little more time .

Posted by libragemmale
There is something that bothers me about my Virgo wife of 20+ years (gem moon , Virgo Venus, Libra mars , Libra Merc).

No offense, but it's taken 20+ years?

Anyway, this is me to a tee, and my Capricorn partner is very similar -although he has more friends than me... We socialize well together.

Does she have any hobbies or interests she could expand on? I understand it might be frustrating for you...

Hello there. I have a Virgo sun and Gem moon so I can give you my take on things. I think the biggest thing I can say is that Virgos can be social. But some of us, maybe even most of us, don't want to invest time socially if we think it will be wasted. You said she's critical of other people. It sounds like the kind of people you introduce her to are not her kinds of people. If she's to come out of her shell she needs to feel comfortable and like she can connect. If you want to warm her up, try to play matchmaker a little bit. Think about her personality, and try to think about who-out of all the people you know- she might hit it off with. She may be pleasantly surprised at who you introduce her to.

Also, I would encourage you to think about some of the things about her that attracted you. Is she funny, witty, empathetic, a good storyteller, etc? Because something like that would be good to help her emphasize. For example during a social gathering "Honey, why don't you tell Bob that funny story you told me yesterday." Something like that. Sometimes we Virgs just don't know what to say in a conversation and freeze up.

She's a grown woman, so you shouldn't necessarily have to baby her. But I do believe maybe she's in need of some guidance. As a social person you shouldn't feel weighed down when she's with you. And you shouldn't feel like you have to constantly stay by her side when you'd rather be working the room. Try helping her out at the next couple of gatherings and see if maybe she warms up. I wish you good luck!

To me there's a difference between being private & not wanting to socialize. I cannot hide in my 'cave' for more than a week or I'll go crazy. I socialize but I'm still a private person.

Ahh welcome to virgo land. This is normal virgo behavior (even if we complain we hate it.) If she tortures you with it I can only tell you to say to her that she can involve or not involve herself all she wants but you cannot do it for her. She'll think on it and give you a reply and that reply will lead you to your next move.

But this is entirely her thing. You got to just be you and let her be her.

Let us know what happens.

Posted by libragemmale
There is something that bothers me about my Virgo wife of 20+ years (gem moon , Virgo Venus, Libra mars , Libra Merc).

She is very private person and has little or no close female friends , you know ? like BFFs and never does the ''girls night out'' thing with others . She has a few old friends but I get tired of her not expanding socially . I keep encouraging her to interact more with others , even with men - just other people to bounce around with and socialize. I am a very social and engaging Libra guy and she often brings me down by being a loner ,critical of others ...and... well kinda boring . Sorry if that sounds cruel . What can I do to warm her up to others and get her to spark up new friendships?? any thoughts are very welcome and thanks !

Have you tried bringing her with you? Night outs? Parties? Or let her take up a class or gym access. She'll meet someone there but still won't have any close friends, she will only consider these people as acquiantances but rest assured it is pretty normal for a Virgo to have no BFF. Virgo have few filtered friends. The ones they which they are sure they can really trust. And Virgo really loves solitude. So let her be. I am like this before. I find crowds boring. I'd rather read a book or watch a movie alone. I still am now. Sometimes. After having my heart broken I decided to change for the better. She will have to experience something before changing.

I am just curious if you don't mind. How's the relationship with a Virgo? We have this thing, a libra guy, and I am slightly into him because we both could converse great, I mean, those long talks. I am still having doubts to plunge in because what if this relationship will be ruin by a commitment? Or like no more long talks when you get into bf gf stage. Will that happen? And did you find it boring? Anyway, how's the relationship for 20 years? Still happy?

Don't be too pushy about encouraging her to socialize. It will only make her retreat even more to solitude. Do it in a descetly subtle way with out making her feel pressured into performing.

Thanks for all of your replies, I have carefully read them all and will respond soon , I am petty busy here . I appreciate your comments .All is fine really , just looking for some insights.