RealTalk
@RealTalk
14 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 24 · Posts: 4558 · Topics: 66
Fwb, wth??
Posted by StandOffThis
I actually meant to say "that I know of" because a couple of his friends has mentioned before how cute of a couple we were and just comments about us as a couple in general. He has never denied, nor have I. I've overheard several convos between them where they joke about his demeanor since me. Apparently they think that he is "whipped."
But he doesn't want to be in a relationship?
Posted by StandOffThis
the love isnt always enough answer
Yes, sometimes that is true in situations where it's one sided, & the other party just gets tired of trying to make things work & says the hell with it. But he haven't even tried. It takes two willing participants.
Posted by StandOffThis
I asked him if there was anyone else and he said while out of town had a fling with a woman that he attended undergrad with.click to expand
He may have feelings for you but he doesn't want a relationship because he wants to date other people. You're getting less because you are accepting less. If you want a relationship with him, STOP going out with/and or sexing him & STOP taking his calls. Why should he be worth your time if you want more, & he's giving you crumbs?
You know, & just explain it to him. Don't give him any more than he's giving you. Back off. If he REALLY wants to be with you, he'll come to. Fuck all of that bullshit he's talking. It's an excuse. Gain your power back & put the ball in your court.
*Hasn't
sad
he's going to demonstrate some forms of jealousy because he's a man.
if you haven't been dating anyone during this then it's simple, he doesn't want you dating someone else because why would he want someone else's sloppy seconds?
your being dedicated to him is to his advantage. he get the peace of mind that comes with a monogamous relationship but the freedom to do as he pleases.
you seem to want to test him. fuck someone else and tell him about it. see if he likes that game.
he's going to demonstrate some forms of jealousy because he's a man.
if you haven't been dating anyone during this then it's simple, he doesn't want you dating someone else because why would he want someone else's sloppy seconds?
your being dedicated to him is to his advantage. he get the peace of mind that comes with a monogamous relationship but the freedom to do as he pleases.
you seem to want to test him. fuck someone else and tell him about it. see if he likes that game.
Posted by StandOffThis
So we leave and his friend tags along because he couldnt drive. Instantly in the car his friend starts questioning me about talking to other guys, and insinuating that I was a player.
Ends up the friend was right .... you are playing him.
And Virgo knows it, that's why he lets the friend bring you down .... why should Virgo do anything about you being a player?
Your legs still open for him ... so why should he care to care about what you think or how you feel?
Hey you are single...You should never lock yourself up to be someones sloppy seconds-some man's fwb. You deserve better.
Not only should you talk to other men you should stop worrying about his professions of love only to hear him "back track" you back into fwb status. You are not a player, you are "single" and that's exactly how it is until he does something about it, he want you to himself well he can do something that demonstrate to you that he's "ALL IN" such as locking it down. Unfortunately for you he want his cake and eat it too, he want the benefit of sex but want zero responsibility in developing something solid with you, he does not want to limit himself to only being with you eg he wants his freedom too.
Suggestion stop "playing games" in your attempt to control him, won't work, you'll only create more conflict and drama, instead try being more "authentic" by being yourself, no more trying to force/convince him to be with you beyond FWB because it doesn't work, it's futile and it ADDS more conflict to your fragile relationship, you are in that fwb box and unless something in his mind changes on it's own you'll most likely remain an fwb not matter what you say/do, no matter who else you date.
Pull your big girl panties on and communicate. Let him know how you feel. For example you could say "I feel confused by your "I love this girl" statement, I feel like we could be more if we just allow ourselves to stop playing games with one another, I don't feel happy being your fwb anymore, I feel all these feelings and I want to explore them with you to see if there is a possibility that we can develop a real relationship." Ask him how he feel about it, be prepared to hear his honesty and let "HIM" decide on his own if he's willing and please STOP TRYING TO CONTROL this part of the process b/c when you try to help/convince him to choose you by throwing other men up in his face "playing games" you just come off as unattractive, undesirable and insecure, the reality is, he has to FIND HIS OWN REASONS for taking you on as a girlfriend, if he's not DOING something to develop something real with you then move on, stop being his fwb and get on with your life.
You want something real well you have to be willing to take a risk and stop hiding behind the drama b/c you're afraid.
Not only should you talk to other men you should stop worrying about his professions of love only to hear him "back track" you back into fwb status. You are not a player, you are "single" and that's exactly how it is until he does something about it, he want you to himself well he can do something that demonstrate to you that he's "ALL IN" such as locking it down. Unfortunately for you he want his cake and eat it too, he want the benefit of sex but want zero responsibility in developing something solid with you, he does not want to limit himself to only being with you eg he wants his freedom too.
Suggestion stop "playing games" in your attempt to control him, won't work, you'll only create more conflict and drama, instead try being more "authentic" by being yourself, no more trying to force/convince him to be with you beyond FWB because it doesn't work, it's futile and it ADDS more conflict to your fragile relationship, you are in that fwb box and unless something in his mind changes on it's own you'll most likely remain an fwb not matter what you say/do, no matter who else you date.
Pull your big girl panties on and communicate. Let him know how you feel. For example you could say "I feel confused by your "I love this girl" statement, I feel like we could be more if we just allow ourselves to stop playing games with one another, I don't feel happy being your fwb anymore, I feel all these feelings and I want to explore them with you to see if there is a possibility that we can develop a real relationship." Ask him how he feel about it, be prepared to hear his honesty and let "HIM" decide on his own if he's willing and please STOP TRYING TO CONTROL this part of the process b/c when you try to help/convince him to choose you by throwing other men up in his face "playing games" you just come off as unattractive, undesirable and insecure, the reality is, he has to FIND HIS OWN REASONS for taking you on as a girlfriend, if he's not DOING something to develop something real with you then move on, stop being his fwb and get on with your life.
You want something real well you have to be willing to take a risk and stop hiding behind the drama b/c you're afraid.
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This. You stated it yourself. Yes. You are fwb. Him not introducing you as a gf speaks for itself.
Bullshit...if two people in love want to be together, they will find a way to make it work. They will compromise & sometimes even sacrifice, in order to make the relationship flourish.