I have a question

Upto what point one should keep on hoping/putting in efforts or even teach emotions and feelings to some one whose perception is totally different on those things?

It could be possible that one person might feel and sense that both are exact replica of each other and if given enough time and taught the insensitive person to be sensitive, it could be a match made in the heaven. How much is enough?

Does this have any thing to do with morals/ethics/ more along the lines of responsibilities? Is it our responsibility to teach some one to grow up , be mature, be sensitive and kind —?? Or would that be being too interfering acording to privacy act?

No other human being is your *responsability* (excluding kids, cripples and what not)Unless they are completely dysfunctional or have fallen into some sort of crisis, you're wasting your time. You can't help someone change if they haven't even considered it themselves. The effort would be useless.
As for lacking kindness and sensitivity... I don't see the tragedy. Let them be. If someone isn't already your match made in heaven (hmmm),, well they may never be. He/She isn't playdough =P And no, it's not our responsability to change someone for our view of better.

All of the remarks on here are suggesting lessons learnt .. either the responsibility of the teacher, or the timing of the reception of the reciever ..

.. who says that anybody even wants this intrusion?

It's automatically assumed that somebody wants to learn something .. maybe the don't.

Up to what point does one stop? From the very beginning, of course.
Even as DC said about timing .. that's ONLY if someone wants to change, or learn something new.

This all seems a bit controlling to me. Whether I learn something new today, or 10 years from now .. isn't that at my discretion and whether I choose it to be so? If I were with a person and I sensed that their aim was to change me in some way, in which I had no desire to do so .. I'd bail.

It doesn't matter from where the motivation comes from, if the result is to think that you have more knowledge over the other as to their happiness.

That's controlling, no matter what name you give it.

Don't you know yourself better than anyone else? Maybe it would make you happier to have all eyes on one person at all times .. you just don't know it. lol

If it's in the name of love .. then the aim should be to accept, rather than change.

How arrogant would a person be if they thought that they knew over me as to what would make me happy .. and call it love? In other words, it would make the person wanting the change to be present in their partner, happy.

"keep on hoping/putting in efforts or even teach emotions and feelings to some one whose perception is totally different" .. this is Capri's hope and desire, not the other's persons .. that isn't love, that's control over the other so that she can be happy because he has just become the person she wanted, lol

"Don't you know yourself better than anyone else? Maybe it would make you happier to have all eyes on one person at all times .. you just don't know it. lol"


Oops, sorry .. that was for someone else.

That's not the point, DC .. you are talking from your perspective and WANTING to learn and experience .. that's not what this is about.

This topic is about the other person making the decision for you, whether or not you need to change, because THEY have better insight into what you need to be happy.

Certainly, I want to grow in my life .. but, it's not up to another person to decide that for me .. that's bullshit, and call it love?

Message posted by: RainingPeanuts on 3/22/2007 7:27:17 PM ip: xxx.xxx.xxx.91
No other human being is your *responsability* (excluding kids, cripples and what not)Unless they are completely dysfunctional or have fallen into some sort of crisis, you're wasting your time. You can't help someone change if they haven't even considered it themselves. The effort would be useless.
As for lacking kindness and sensitivity... I don't see the tragedy. Let them be. If someone isn't already your match made in heaven (hmmm),, well they may never be. He/She isn't playdough =P And no, it's not our responsability to change someone for our view of better.


RP .. spot on !!! And no, it's not our responsibility to change someone for our view of better.

Never mind .. you guys won't see past yourselves and your own willingness to change and missed the point entirely .. out.

Dyr, I don't hate anybody .. get irritated as crap, but, don't hate.

DC .. look, let me put it a different way. There are two people, right. Since your a guy and Capri is a girl .. this makes it easier.

Him/He
Her/She

Now, in this scenerio .. we are talking about HER and HER views and HER desires and HER wishes and HER efforts and HER choices .. got it?

You (and Dyr) are responding with HE doesn't mind and HE is willing to change and HE doesn't want to seem arrogant and HE .. got it?

This is about ONE person's perspective and that would be HER .. you and Dyr answer with HE and completely miss the whole point because you are ONLY looking at it from the recievers perspective and not the transmitters .. see?

I, too, like to change when it's the right for me, or for us (I'm a mutable sign too) .. not saying that I wouldn't change if it was the best for the union .. but, that's not the point.

The point is .. it's not up to another person to make that decision for you, whether it's beneficial or not, whether the timing is right or not .. because another person can only view happiness within their own perspective ..

This started with Capri saying at which point do I stop trying to change somebody to be within HER perspective .. it wasn't asked whether HE should want to change, or not.

See?

Oh well, never mind .. really and not trying to be Pisces .. just, it's done.

My view is always different from everyone elses because I am.

I see what you're saying .. so, back to the original question .. at which point is it time to say enough?

If the other person isn't seeing the "us" factor after a reasonable amount of time, then he never will.

Sorry to offend you, I didn't mean to get so carried away.