Just Friends Part II

To reinvigorate this topic . . .

Glee I deserve a rough time lol?

Dearest come on LOL. I wasn't feeling bad. I was actually having a similar conversation with a friend and I just wanted perspectives. I disliked how it ended up, but . . . we were both adults. She has her own mind, and was very capable of making her own decisions.

I understand your opinion though. Essentially, you couldn't engage in something like that so you don't believe it'll work.

And Seize. Lovely, lovely Seize. lol
Kind of agree, except for this part,
In other words.. rather than looking at the situation as saving the other person from the turmoil which is you.. try to internalize the issue.

Here's the rub. One person internalizing an issue and looking at the "wider perspective" leads to many threads on this board dealing with the inability to understand Virgoan behavior. For instance, two people are in a relationship. One person does something that's completely unexpected, but doesn't explain. They essentially internalize the issue and make some decision for both people involved BELIEVING it's best for the both of them. BELIEVING it serves the greater good.

Internalizing can be dumping someone without explanation. Behaving a certain way without given reason. Internalizing leads to suspicious action that if just put on the table, could potentially be understood and hammered out.

For example, Say I'm with someone. Something occurs in my life where I say to myself, "This isn't something the other can nor needs to deal with." I end things without genuine explanation, essentially internalizing the issue and making the decision that I believe is best. The other is hurt to which I would already know, but I'm BELIEVING I'm doing what's in both of our best interest. Would I be correct here? By your opinion, the answer would be yes.

Is this really what you want? Is internalizing really the kind of relationship people should have? Secretely doing what's best for the other. I believe in putting it on the table. Good or bad, and deal with it as a pair. If you're going to respect and listen to what the other has to say about a situation that involves them. You at the very least have to give them their say. Be it sex, friendship, or something else.


VirgoSquared

Oh didn't notice this one first😛.Okay from another female POV.Things may be ackward just due to the fact that you've seen each other naked and had sex with someone but not being involved with them-it's just ackward for some people so it could be just that.Other wise she decided she wanted to get laid so she was well aware of what she was doing so the only one to blame is herself if shes taking it elsewhere.As far as your questions go by avoiding communication it is just immaturity-plain and simple.

OK... VS makes a move :-)

Well, to me, internalize the issue doesn't mean you have to make a decision for both parties. Just give a little thought to her feeling, more sensitive to the other person's feeling.

I think the thing left undiscussed is the level of EXPECTATION between both of you. You BELIEVE she's capable of making her own decision on a casual "sex" thing. Do you BELIEVE she could manage "emotional" things after that? It sounds like you count something that benefits and disregard others that won't, in order to have sex. Don't get me wrong. I don't blame you for a casual sex but be careful with your thought process. It can make women hurt, especially female "friends".

maymaid

Hello Virgosquared!

I go with Tiamat version of awkwardness that your Aquarius/Scorpio friend is going through. She is feeling exposed putting herself out in open with a person who is not ready to bare his heart to her YET. Yes I said YET. Maybe she pushed you into it too soon.Right now you are comfortably in love with your Aries and want to stay comfortably in love (chuckle). Give the Aquarius time to work out her feelings for you by herself. You have assured her of your friendship. So it is just a matter of time when she turns around and accepts your friendship without expecting "more".

I used the word YET. With reason. It is possible that you are holding back the passion that you feel for her. Women have strong 6th sense. Maybe you restricted it to one night stand because you are afraid of the power she has over you. The current Aries/Scopio seem to be such a less complication and hence you have the strength to invite her into your heart. She has less potential to hurt you than the Aquarius belle. Aquarius & Scorpio are high on using much advanced psychological techniques compared to any other sign in zodiac.So I understand your fear of this Aquarius/Scorpio.

Do some soul searching Mister! It is you who is afraid to be hurt by Ms Aquarius and hence keeping her at a distance. You have dedicated two posts to her! Just stop and think the true nature of your attachment with both the Aries and the Aquarius women in your life.

If you donot want to admit to this i would like to say that a woman likes a man who has left the memory of an ex (GF/one night stand/wife/partner) behind and has his heart totally focussed on her. 100 per cent. You have expressed elsewhere that your happiness is in relocating to NY where your current love is. So, why not bygones be bygones and begin your life afresh with your Aries/Scorpio? Leave the Aquarius/Scorpio behind. Would you be able to?

Errrrrrr (Did I say You have dedicated two posts to her!)?
LOL I meant "You have dedicated two topics on this board to her"!

Glee I deserve a rough time lol?

Dearest come on LOL. I wasn't feeling bad. I was actually having a similar conversation with a friend and I just wanted perspectives. I disliked how it ended up, but . . . we were both adults. She has her own mind, and was very capable of making her own decisions.

OK- This is something similar that happened to me. I am seeing a Virgo - and he was very big on being "friends"... Ok so I asked. What type of friends are you talking about - I am one who demands clarification on things. So we were friends and I kept it at just being friends. He wanted sex, but I didn't. Not on those terms. I have male friends - I don't sleep with them. I have no physical attraction for them. If they step over the line - then they are told that we don't have it like that. Sex complicates - and then you have expectations of it possibly going into something else.

Now when I met him - he had a "friend" - they slept together, but he was also interested in me. It turned out to be a mess. This lady obviously didn't believe him either. She wanted to get married and she bought him expensive gifts and planned trips for him - so one night I told him this. A woman sees it differently sometimes - so his response was - oh, well she understands how it is. Well she didn't. And then he didn't know how to end it without hurting her. So my point is this, if you know up front that you don't have intentions towards someone - why even want to have sex with them? Someone will get hurt that way. It can be a dangerous game to play sometimes. But in my life I have always tried to not be complicated about things like that.

VS- The Aries is going to hurt you in the end. You just don't know it yet.

If you have this thing for the Aries why bother anyone else. Obviously, you are not ready for anything other than a good time .....

Glee,

don't take this the wrong way, but you don't know what you're talking about lol. Had you read my post, you would know the thing with the Aqua/Scorp happen MONTHS AGO. I'll repeat that, MONTHS AGO. My relationship with the Aries/Scorp happened AFTER the fling with the Aqua/Scorp. I want to keep her as a friend because, keyword here. She is a FRIEND. FRIENDS are good to have.

I've told you nothing about my relationship with Aries/Scorp, and yet you somehow already know how it's going to turn out. Dearest come on. Glaring assumption and awkward judgment does not an actual reality make.

So tell me Glee. What do you know about Aries and Virgo relationships. Learn me a bit? Why don't you think this will work out?


VirgoSquared

"VS- The Aries is going to hurt you in the end. You just don't know it yet."

I too find this interesting since I am an Aries involved with a Virgo man. Glee, perhaps any sign at any age can hurt someone. As we all know, there are no guarantees in relationships...each one is a risk that we choose to take. I have no intention of hurting my Virgo friend...I may unintentionally do something that he may choose to view as "hurt" but hopefully our communication is in good working order and we can share our feelings allowing for growth. One of my very best friends is a Virgo and I am grateful everyday that she is in my life.

Perhaps the moon sign makes a difference or the wisdom of life...who knows. Just enjoy your adventure with your Aries Lady VS afterall, all we have are moments and moments are meant to be enjoyed 😉 There is no destination - only the journey so live it well!

Freebird

So tell me Glee. What do you know about Aries and Virgo relationships. Learn me a bit? Why don't you think this will work out?

Aries is a fire sign - you are Earth. It will be an exciting journey - because Virgo is drawn to that energy for a while. But in the long haul and that's the key - the Aries will want total control, the impulsive way of Aries will soon scare Mr. Virgo,who would rather take their time - the Aries close to the egocentric Leo is about ME< ME< ME. LIke most fire signs - it will burn the Earth to a crisp. Unless, there is either some fire in your chart or water in the Aries. Not a match made in heaven as they say.

Come back to the board in several years and tell me you are still with her(him). I've seen the turbulence of a Aries/Virgo match more than once. And it seems the Virgo gets the short end of it in the long haul.

Hi Freebird,

thanks for the common sense 😉

And Glee,

Okay, quick tutorial on astrology and synastry astrology. Each sign has a particular pure quality to it, and a planet in a particular sign expresses it's power in that direction. Now, what's of importance in this is each person isn't made up of one sign. The planets are filtered throughout an individual's chart giving them a variety of qualities, not just the pure qualities of their sun sign. Emotionally engaged, a sun Virgo with an Aries Moon may be completely unrecognizable as a Virgo. In a relationship, a sun Virgo with a Venus in Leo may act completely out of Virgoan character...more like a Leo.

Now, while you're right that a pure Aries and pure Virgo (to note, neither exist) MAY have some friction, you mentioned nothing about aspects. Trines, sextiles, conjunctions; even oppositions in a chart describing a chemistry, a bond between two people. Even your across the board attributed behaviors are ... well, off.

So, if you're going with the astrological angle, where's my love's Venus sign? What about moon? Are there any major aspects between our charts that give a yeah or nay?It's not just about me having a bunch of signs in fire or her having a bunch of earth signs?

Life is very rarely so simple.


VirgoSquared

Im mostly fire and earth but have scorpio as the starsign-sagittarius(venus,neptune,rising,mercury) and virgo(jupiter,saturn,lilith,asc. node) are everywhere and the same number of each and a leo mars and taurus moon,im a completely screwed up scorpio,lol(scorps only in sun and urnanus),a libra pluto's the only thing thats missing from being mentioned with my charts in the above sentances.Theres a very good reason using astrology to explain why im so skeptical towards astrology and don't fall into the "normal" scorpio stuff most of the time,lol.