Never thought I'd be here asking...

Hi to All...

I've stumbled onto this site while google-searching for answers about my current situation.

It's such a long story, but I'll abbreviate it. I'm Taurus, he is Virgo. We dated, and nearly engaged 10 years ago. I broke up with him after a year or more, and can only recall that I became emotionally upset with him for disclosing a very personal issue as a joke in public. (Steam probably came from my nostrils.) I started not trusting him and we broke up.

Somehow, we remained friends...can't imagine how, as I make CLEAN breaks from soured relationships. Well, it WAS a clean break emotionally and mentally, at least for me. In those 8 or so years of friendship, there was no touching...Just Friends!!! Okay, a kiss hello or goodbye, a hug here or there, is all. I remained detached. He was always trying for more, but I thought it was just a sex/man thing. Of course, he works 14-16 hours daily which doesn't allow much time for working on relationships. Me, I began doing the same. Our separate worlds would come together, though, now and again. Neither of us had any serious relationships in all of those friendship years. I dated one man for awhile, then decided celibacy was probably my best bet. If he had relationships, they were clandestine.

A couple of months ago, like a ton of bricks dropped on my head, I realized that I still love him and that he was loving me all of those years. I felt so good and so horrible at the same time, because through the friendship years I was rather disappointing, even rude, stupid, and I'm quite sure, unlovable. Being the bull that I am, though, with my newfound revelation, I went after him like gangbusters in love with him. He is now scared to death!. And, me too as I am discovering so much. He admits that he loved me all those years and now. When I asked "why didn't you say something in all that time?" He simply said, "because that's not how I am." I am initiating all of our get-togethers. I do all of the calling. I decided to do some digging about his sign which led me here. Amazing similarities. I need help, encouragement, something! We have a date on his birthday. Also, he will stop by after work tonight. I know that what will be will be, but if anyone can help...all of my gf's say get rid of him...(he doesn't call). But I can't do that. I have to think of those years when he put up with all of my behaviors.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer.

Well it seems you've forgiven him for whatever personal issue he raised all those years back. You've haven't entirely cut him off because you probably wanted him to be around somewhere in the background but never told him that. Maybe I am wrong..

Friends can't possibly know everything about your situation but I am sure they have your best interests at heart..depending on how close you are to them. So during these 8 years did you guys date anybody else?.

It all depends on how much your prepared to put yourself through and give and want from this relationship. Nobody else can say or do anything that will make the end decision any easier.

give = receive

"But I can't do that. I have to think of those years when he put up with all of my behaviors."

I'm not saying he would, but the way you say this seems like it would be easy for him to take advantage of you. Don't let guilt and your affection for him override common sense. No one really has the right to treat you badly...especially when you've already realized your mistakes.

Hi missmorals,

I not only have forgiven him, but also realize that I could have reacted differently. Hey, I can't even remember the subject matter, exactly, anymore.

As I said, I had one bf and I don't know if Virgo did any dating or not. Probably some. We didn't discuss it. Doesn't matter. Nothing serious for either of us. I actually quit dating several years ago, altogether. When I talked to him for the first time a couple of months ago, he claimed he has not had time for a relationship. And he doesn't.

I've explained that I don't need a lot from him, but that what I need, I need good, and that is reassurance that I'm the one he wants. I can go for miles on that knowledge. He's got me 100% . I'm willing to go through the fire. He wants to see how things go.

When it comes to pride, my gf's are right, but I'm not feeling the sense of pride being hurt ... I'm moreless feeling the sense of I hope it's not too late. I'm taking him at face value. One thing I have learned over these many years is that he is a man of integrity.

Thanks

Hi dyrstr8z!

If we Taurus ladies only had known then what we know now! 🙂

I would never have even considered the Zodiac in this situation if my gf's weren't always asking me, "what sign is he?" They got me curious and when I started looking up information, I sat here dazed by the truths.

I have to admit, my emotionality needs a little work, as well as my patience, and my tendencies toward possessiveness. I'm getting a chance to work on all 3 right now. I'm doing very well with all except the patience. I'm working on it.

Why oh why, dyrstr8z, wouldn't he try to convince me of his feelings in all of those years. "Because that's not how I am" just doesn't seem to do it for me. Yet, I read about the private life and emotions of the Virgo man. It is rather intrigueingly (sp)attractive now, though. Noble or well, whatever in the world did he think I could read his mind or what?

Thinking back about the phone. I did a lot of the calling way back then, too. He would pop over. We were together astonishingly a lot for his working 3 jobs, then, though. Of course one of his jobs was a night job and he got to sleep some on the job, I think.

I really must take him at face value now, yes? Here is a guy who shows little emotion where his love feelings are concerned. His words are few, to the point, and true. Never has he ever raised his voice to me, even when I was ranting and raving about the incident I mentioned, deaf at that time to his pleas for forgiveness. I left him standing there.

Where do I want it to go from here? I want him wholly again. Maybe I have him, but I feel more like he has me, only, and I'm waiting for the results from my mid-term or final exams. LOL It's exciting, but frustrating, too.

So good of you to write. Thanks.

Hi wheelhomies!

It was my first intuitive thought when we got together a couple of months ago, that I should guard myself... this could be payback time. What if I'm wrong about his having loved me all those years, and he WAS just trying for other than love reasons to get close to me. A lot of "what ifs" have come to my consciousness.

But, Virgo has told me that he loves me...that he loved me all of those years...reading about the Virgo man, it is not likely that he is just saying it, not that he is incapable of lying to save his butt or please the crowd. This person knows me well enough to know that he can say anything to me that he wants to and would surely spare me deceiptful lies. After all, we're friends! In matters of the heart, I have to believe that a Virgo man is pure.

I've asked him to tell me, because I need to know how it stands with us. I've assured him that I can take even the worst news and would rather hear it from his lips if it was now too late...that I would understand and that it's hard to go on without knowing where I stand. He wants to "see how things go." That's an honest and reasonable response. (It's also another way of saying, I probably need to pass a battery of tests. That's okay. I'll pass!) (I hope.) (Also, it's not the answer I LONG to hear, but...what can you do?) I could not argue too much. In my case, I'm thinking, what have I got to lose? I'm learning patience, anti-possessive behavior, and interpersonal skills! And I'm learning more of what being in love with Virgo is all about. What more can I ask for right now? It's only 2 months out of the past 8-9 years. I guess I can go through this and I survived before, I'll survive again, if it goes awry for any reason.

I think I have ended up answering a lot of my own questions. That's okay, because without your input, maybe these issues would not have surfaced for me. Thanks for writing!

Hi StringsAttached!

I'd like to hear all about it. I hope you passed!