Offering reassurance

How does one go about appealing to and easing the mind of a Virgo who is feeling anxious and concerned? Given the fact I'm not concerned I don't want to come off as being cold and uncaring.

A) Should I just let him be? (my pref if it were me)
B) Joke and be light hearted about it? (my normal MO)
C) Agree with his concerns? (reverse psychology)
D) Verbally tell him it will be ok? (the trite response)
E) Provide data which suggests likely outcomes? (although he hates when I cite statistics)
F) Or is there another approach I should consider—

Just tell him you'll be there for him if he has need.

There really isn't much you can do to keep a virgo from getting less anxious, and definitely don't push him when he's feeling anxious. When you notice that he's upset, just let him vent if need be and tell him you'll be there. And if anything, make him laugh but don't distract him too much.

^^^^both of above, be calm, quiet, don't fuss him, maybe try make him smile, drop him something to eat that you know he likes then leave him alone and like venusianbull said just let him know you're there.

I have to ask why you're asking if unconcerned, even though you said you don't wanna come off as cold and uncaring? Not meaning to be harsh but maybe he will pick up on that! Be genuine and leave him alone to sort it out himself...or genuinely give a shit and BE THERE! To me what you are asking is confusing I'd just say be freaking honest or leave him alone

He has neck surgery tomorrow - that I am not concerned about, he has one of the top surgeons in the state and it is a routine surgery, so I don't foresee any serious issues. But, he told me this morning he is really scared to be put under because he might not come out, he's not ready to die he said. He jokingly commented before about not coming out of it alive, and I joked back a bit about the fact that he might just come out of it. He laughed and said yeah that might be even worse. I can understand a little nervousness, but I didn't realize he was actually scared. I just want to ease his mind, I don't want him stressing over it.

He's just apprehensive = just be there, don't cite statistics, just feel him (not literally) you obviously know him better than any peeps here just do what you think he needs....I'm not sure why you would ask, you're his friend so surely you would know

Since I think his concerns are justified, I would let him be. He's gonna think about it no matter what until the surgery is over and he's OK. What I will suggest to you is to direct his mind on other things, like plans you two have made that are ocurring after the surgery or a problem he can help you solve or fix. If you can ease his mind just a little, I'm sure he'd appreciate it whether he'd admit it or not. Regardless of what you decide, you won't be able to alleviate the anxiety completely.

I'd be at the hospital to squeeze his hand after he came out from under, tell him it's alright. See big man? Nothing to worry over. Still here.
Then when more awake the joking can commence. "They put it in a jar..it's in my purse, I saved it. The doctor told me it almost reached sentient level..buuuut after a quick stab I showed it who the boss was." etc.

Oh, I plan on it! Although, he doesn't want me to go out of my way for him. Uh? Excuse me? I'm not going out of my way, I want to, I'm here for you! Of course, depending on his post-op disposition I may be regretting it LOL

LOL So he's groggy and cross-eyed. That you're there is the important part. 🙂


And credit where its due, we've got some pretty intelligent and on the ball ladies here.

Yes, thank you all for your input ladies!

LOL 🙂

Posted by venusianbull
LOL So he's groggy and cross-eyed. That you're there is the important part. 🙂

Indeed! After all his fussing... I spent two hrs at the hospital with him holding my hand and stroking it most of the time. Before I left he told me he doesn't tell me often enough, but that he really does appreciate me (those darn drugs). I'll go back over after I take care of the horse to check on him (I don't have to he told me - but, I WANT to! Stubborn ass man!!!)