I'm a 28 year old female Libra and I dated a 28 year old Virgo guy for 4 months last winter. He is a great guy and with him I had the most amazing time of my life. However, he wasn't completely over his last relationship yet and he had been in LTR for the last 10 years and felt that he needed to be single for a while. We continued to date but it got hard for me because I felt that he wasn't emotionally available and I was falling for him big time. So the only thing I could do was to end it but we said that getting back together was definitely a possibility in the future. He said that if he were ready it would be with me and that he knows that he can't ask me to wait for him but that he hopes I'll be single when he is ready. He thought that he can't be my boyfriend and give me what I deserve and that he already liked me too much to continue to date just casually and I agreed.
It was a hard time for me an it took me 3 months to get over him and go on dates again. By the way, I am the OP of the thread "I love him - Should I break up with him?" that I started back in February and I was surprised to see that it's still alive! 🙂
Fast forward to now. We've been friends for the past 5 months and we've hung out 5 times maybe. Well, and 2 weeks ago we met for a drink and it was the first time that it was just the two of us. We had a great time as always and well, we ended up sleeping together. It was the most passionate night I've ever had. We also still totally click and feel close to each other and it was very intimate. We haven't seen each other since then cause he is very busy right now and I was out of town for a week. However, he invited me to an event next week and wants me to join the organization that he and some of his friends volunteer for. He also always emails be back right away and isn't playing the waiting game or anything like that. It's always short though and he hasn't asked me out again yet but it's still very different from the way things have been for the last few months. He also started to call me sweetheart and darling again (after 5 months of using my first name only).
I'm so confused right now. It's like he wants me in his life and the passion and that deep mental connection between us is still there but I also know that things haven't changed much. He'll be moving to the other side of the country in 2 months for work and will be back next spring. He says that he wants to settle down when he comes back and that he thinks he will be ready for a new relationship. Right now he is just dating around but he says he is never interested in anything serious. Oh, and I'm sure he didn't just use me. That just isn't his character. He's very responsible and it was something that neither of us had planned.
What should I do now? I've been dating here and there too but I realized that no one comes close to him and he is still what I want. I am very patient and I value my freedom as much as he does and I could give him all the time he needs. Casual dating would be totally ok for me right now. I just don't know if I should tell him or keep acting like I'm not interested.
My dilemma: Should I tell him that I still care about him? From this board I got the impression that Virgos need constant reassurance and need to trust someone. However, that doesn't go with the fact that Virgos need space and feel pressured easily, does it? I'm even afraid to ask him if he wants to hang out again (even though he sounded like he would like to) and I don't do anything right now. I'm totally passive and only take what he gives me (and that isn't much right now). I'm acting aloof and want to keep him guessing but what if he is waiting for that reassurance from me??
I'm sorry, I don't have any advice for you , but I'm waiting for someone to respond because my situation is very similar and I am asking all of the same questions that you are. It's just so wierd how many similar stories are on this board.
Thanks so much for your reply! It totally makes sense and it helped me so much. I think this was exactly what I needed. I actually saved it on my computer so that I can read it whenever I need to 😉
You're right. There's no point in acting. I decided to just be myself from now on. This morning I emailed him and said that I would love to hang out this weekend. He emailed me back right away and said that he and 2 friends are going to a club on Saturday and that I should come too. Sure, it's not a date 😉 but it's something and I'm sure we'll all have fun.
No more games. I'll just do what feels right to ME.
The situation with my virgo guy has changed dramatically and it would be great to hear some opinions, please!
He is NOT moving to NY now. My plan was to just casually hang out and have a good time with him until he leaves but now that he is staying I have absolutely no idea how to handle this.
We were out with some of his friends last night, then we all went back to his place and we ended up hooking up again. This morning we talked in bed for a few hours and we were totally comfortable with each other as always. He opened up and told me how unhappy he is with his job right now, and told me about his ex girlfriend of 2 years who is in NY and who he has been thinking about getting back together with (he broke up with her last year) but that he saw her a couple weeks ago and the spark just wasn't there anymore. We also talked a bit about the time we dated last winter. He said how much he likes hanging out with me and that we have such great chemistry. At one point he thought I wanted to talk about our situation and he asked me what I think but I didn't and we dropped it. He also asked me what he is to me and said jokingly "Am I your boy toy?" (right after we slept together again this morning)and I just joked back cause I didn't know what to say. Last night he said that I'm one of his closest friends. Sure, I was happy to hear that and I know that means sth if a Virgo says that, right? But of course, I want to be more so it hurt me a bit at the same time. So because of all that friend talk from the night before I couldn't get myself to say that he is more to me and that I would still like to date him again.
However, since I want to just be myself now, I had to ask him about it. I also thought I can't just wait another week till I see him again. So we said goodbye and I was just about to leave but then I turned around and started this damn thing. It wasn't too bad although he had this deer in headlights look on his face at first. I made it all sound casual though. I asked him straight out if he thinks we should keep hooking up and that I don't want things to get awkward between us. He said it's not awkward for him and he suggested that we don't sleep together EVERY time we see each other. He said maybe not the next couple times and then we do it again (at least he is thinking that far ahead and it didn't sound like he saw all that as a one time thing). I said that I don't want to be someone's fuckbuddy (I said it jokingly) and tha
...someone's f*buddy (I said it jokingly) and that I never had a friends with benefits situation. It all sounded like he sees it as a friends with benefits thing since he didn't say anything about dating again. He actually called it FWB and I didn't say anything. We said we'll just go with the flow. In the end it was kind of awkward because I wasn't really prepared for this conversation and I felt that I lost my coolness at some point because of that. At least he knows now that I don't like to be someone's f*buddy. I hope I didn't ruin anything by bringing that up.
All I want is to know if he sees a chance that we could date again at some point. Should I just tell him that this is what I want? What about all this friend talk? Or should I go with the flow and be his "friend" for now and let things develop naturally? In other words, when you're dealing with a Virgo is it better to set the record straight and put the cards on the table or should I keep my mouth shut? Does it sound like he would consider dating me again?
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It was a hard time for me an it took me 3 months to get over him and go on dates again. By the way, I am the OP of the thread "I love him - Should I break up with him?" that I started back in February and I was surprised to see that it's still alive! 🙂
Fast forward to now. We've been friends for the past 5 months and we've hung out 5 times maybe. Well, and 2 weeks ago we met for a drink and it was the first time that it was just the two of us. We had a great time as always and well, we ended up sleeping together. It was the most passionate night I've ever had. We also still totally click and feel close to each other and it was very intimate. We haven't seen each other since then cause he is very busy right now and I was out of town for a week. However, he invited me to an event next week and wants me to join the organization that he and some of his friends volunteer for. He also always emails be back right away and isn't playing the waiting game or anything like that. It's always short though and he hasn't asked me out again yet but it's still very different from the way things have been for the last few months. He also started to call me sweetheart and darling again (after 5 months of using my first name only).
...end part 1