gslove
@gslove
19 Years500+ Posts
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Why am I feeling so obsessed??
GSLOVE,
If you are genuinely interested in any of the men who are interested you then you shouldn't put your life on hold for the Virgo. Enjoy your life while you can! CF36
If you are genuinely interested in any of the men who are interested you then you shouldn't put your life on hold for the Virgo. Enjoy your life while you can! CF36
To be honest with you, this is what I got out of your post:
You have this man (Virgo), to whom makes you feel rejected and unwanted.
In the meantime, you have puppet-men, dangling before, waiting for you to decide whether you choose to reject them or not. Those, you don't really care about because you already have their attention, I mean, they are standing in line.
Yet, the one who has rejected you, well, that's the one you focus on because it is him doing the deciding.
Perhaps that attitude in itself is the reason why he has backed off. I know I would because it appears as though what you care about is ONLY your own feelings.
You have this man (Virgo), to whom makes you feel rejected and unwanted.
In the meantime, you have puppet-men, dangling before, waiting for you to decide whether you choose to reject them or not. Those, you don't really care about because you already have their attention, I mean, they are standing in line.
Yet, the one who has rejected you, well, that's the one you focus on because it is him doing the deciding.
Perhaps that attitude in itself is the reason why he has backed off. I know I would because it appears as though what you care about is ONLY your own feelings.
I know CF36, I'm going to start going out with other men, but I wish it didn't feel like such torture to do it. I really hate dating. I also need to get closure with the Virgo, and talk to him. I know that I'm only feeling obsessed with him because I feel like he is also going through the same thing and is feeling obsessed with me. Neither one of us likes rejection and somebody has to break the ice. If he tells me that he doesn't feel the same way then I know I can move on. My pride has been standing in the way for months now and has not let me tell him how I feel, but I'm only hurting myself by not finding out where he stands so that we can either start a life together or I can just finally move on. When I don't see him for a while I feel much stronger, but when I start running into him or now that his Father has been contacting me my mind just goes right back to thinking of nothing else. It's amazing what a man can do to us normally strong women 😉 The funny thing is that he has absolutely no idea what he is even doing to me. I've been playing it so cool with him that I think he just thinks I could care less about him and that I'm just being my normal friendly self to him like I am to everyone else. I think I do this because I'm afraid if he really knew how I felt that it would just scare him to death and make him run away again. But maybe that would be a good thing right?
P-Angel,
O.K. I partly agree with you. I shouldn't be obsessed with someone who makes me feel rejected. He hasn't however always made me feel that way and I don't believe would be that way if we were actually together and he was ready for a relationship. I know I have issues with feeling rejected and it's not just with men, its with my family and friends also and it is mostly in my head. I feel like he has been put into my life to help me heal this somehow. It's forcing me to confront and risk rejection where in the past I would just not deal with it. I don't think I have ever met anyone who was more afraid of rejection than I am, but he is. This is the first relationship where I have been the first to tell my feelings. I have always in the past let the man lead in that department and if he didn't take that lead then I would just walk away, probably too soon in some cases. I think that it makes me feel good that I can confront him. I'm finding that every time I work up the nerve to confront someone who is making me feel rejected now it makes me stronger and I find out it doesn't kill me. If this is what you mean by all I care about is myself then yes, I think it's a healthy self indulgence.
I don't however have puppet men dangling to see if I will go out with them. I am not a tease and I have never done anything to lead them on. Most of them feel that about me and won't even ask me out. In fact the only way I even know they are interested is because they tell other people that they are interested. The guy I contacted last night is one that I would consider going out with because he has actually asked me out as a friend and wants to talk about business networking. I know that he is interested in more than that, but somehow that makes me feel better to start a relationship in that way. It's less pressure.
I have been reading your posts to other people P-angel and dreading the day when I would be your target of directness. Hahaha!! I guess now is the time. Try to go a little easy on me. You know I hate rejection 😉
O.K. I partly agree with you. I shouldn't be obsessed with someone who makes me feel rejected. He hasn't however always made me feel that way and I don't believe would be that way if we were actually together and he was ready for a relationship. I know I have issues with feeling rejected and it's not just with men, its with my family and friends also and it is mostly in my head. I feel like he has been put into my life to help me heal this somehow. It's forcing me to confront and risk rejection where in the past I would just not deal with it. I don't think I have ever met anyone who was more afraid of rejection than I am, but he is. This is the first relationship where I have been the first to tell my feelings. I have always in the past let the man lead in that department and if he didn't take that lead then I would just walk away, probably too soon in some cases. I think that it makes me feel good that I can confront him. I'm finding that every time I work up the nerve to confront someone who is making me feel rejected now it makes me stronger and I find out it doesn't kill me. If this is what you mean by all I care about is myself then yes, I think it's a healthy self indulgence.
I don't however have puppet men dangling to see if I will go out with them. I am not a tease and I have never done anything to lead them on. Most of them feel that about me and won't even ask me out. In fact the only way I even know they are interested is because they tell other people that they are interested. The guy I contacted last night is one that I would consider going out with because he has actually asked me out as a friend and wants to talk about business networking. I know that he is interested in more than that, but somehow that makes me feel better to start a relationship in that way. It's less pressure.
I have been reading your posts to other people P-angel and dreading the day when I would be your target of directness. Hahaha!! I guess now is the time. Try to go a little easy on me. You know I hate rejection 😉
"Try to go a little easy on me. You know I hate rejection 😉" lol, ok
You don't have to dread me. I'm not as mean as you might think. My only aim is to try and make people realize that how they appear and who they are iside - is NOT the same. We all have a certain amount of vanity, and our self-image can be inflated if we don't realize ourselves. When I tell people about themselves, it's not with the intent of belittled them, rather, to save themselves from further error or embarassment, or to learn whatever lesson there is to learn in the situation. There's a lesson in everything, there are no coincedences. We are accountable for everything we do and most people walk around with blinders on, not really caring about themselves and their own self-worth, only caring about their "feelings". They would rather hear a lie that's full of sweetness, then, the truth because the truth about ourselves is just too ugly to handle.
So, don't dread me. My goal is to tell you how it is, pretty, or ugly, it's honest.
What I said was, "it appears as though what you care about is ONLY your own feelings." The operative word here is, "appears". Like I said, there's a difference between how you feel, how you are & and how you present yourself for others to see. It appears as though you are this way, that doesn't mean you are.
How we project ourselves to the world, is exactly how the world will see us. If we want people to view us in a certain way, then that's what we must show them. If we show them that we APPEAR we have puppet-men dangling, waiting to have us bestowed them with our presence - then that's how we will look. If that's what we show them, that's what they will see.
Just be aware of yourself, that is my point in everything I tell people. Be completely aware of who you are, for, if you are false, people will see. They may NOT tell you, but, that's what they are thinking, never-the-less. I will tell you, rather than think it behind your back, but, give you lies in front of your face. I don't work that way.
You don't have to dread me. I'm not as mean as you might think. My only aim is to try and make people realize that how they appear and who they are iside - is NOT the same. We all have a certain amount of vanity, and our self-image can be inflated if we don't realize ourselves. When I tell people about themselves, it's not with the intent of belittled them, rather, to save themselves from further error or embarassment, or to learn whatever lesson there is to learn in the situation. There's a lesson in everything, there are no coincedences. We are accountable for everything we do and most people walk around with blinders on, not really caring about themselves and their own self-worth, only caring about their "feelings". They would rather hear a lie that's full of sweetness, then, the truth because the truth about ourselves is just too ugly to handle.
So, don't dread me. My goal is to tell you how it is, pretty, or ugly, it's honest.
What I said was, "it appears as though what you care about is ONLY your own feelings." The operative word here is, "appears". Like I said, there's a difference between how you feel, how you are & and how you present yourself for others to see. It appears as though you are this way, that doesn't mean you are.
How we project ourselves to the world, is exactly how the world will see us. If we want people to view us in a certain way, then that's what we must show them. If we show them that we APPEAR we have puppet-men dangling, waiting to have us bestowed them with our presence - then that's how we will look. If that's what we show them, that's what they will see.
Just be aware of yourself, that is my point in everything I tell people. Be completely aware of who you are, for, if you are false, people will see. They may NOT tell you, but, that's what they are thinking, never-the-less. I will tell you, rather than think it behind your back, but, give you lies in front of your face. I don't work that way.
I will tell you, tell anybody. Think of it this way: What if you were walking around with a booger hanging out of your nose, but, all your friends didn't want to embarass you, so they remained silent and stayed as sweet as possible to you because they certainly don't want you to think badly of them for pointing out something horrendeous.
I'll tell you, not because I want to hurt you, but, for your own protection, so you won't embarrass yourself any further.
People don't normally get past their own feelings to comprehend that I'm not "attacking", I'm trying to protect, and the only way I know how to do that is to inform you, no matter how beautiful, or, brutal. Because in my eyes, the only thing you have to fear is yourself. You pave your own way, you are your own angel, or monster, so, it's yourself that has to be analyzed.
Does that make sense?
I'll tell you, not because I want to hurt you, but, for your own protection, so you won't embarrass yourself any further.
People don't normally get past their own feelings to comprehend that I'm not "attacking", I'm trying to protect, and the only way I know how to do that is to inform you, no matter how beautiful, or, brutal. Because in my eyes, the only thing you have to fear is yourself. You pave your own way, you are your own angel, or monster, so, it's yourself that has to be analyzed.
Does that make sense?
Hi P-Angel,
Well I certainly don't want to appear a certain way, especially as someone who teases and abuses men, because that's not me at all. I'm glad you have pointed out how I appeared to you and maybe others as well. If you wouldn't have done that I wouldn't have been able to explain myself.
You also definitely made me think about why I feel the need that I have to somehow get over my feelings that he is rejecting me. Not just him, but everyone in general. It really bothers me that I have such a big issue with this. I could just as easily be involved with someone who showers me with attention and doesn't make me feel rejected, but like I said, I think this is an issue I need to face and conquer and that is his purpose in my life. I believe that EVERYTHING happens for reason. Including this conversation with you. :-) So you go right ahead and continue with your tough love girlfriend.
Well I certainly don't want to appear a certain way, especially as someone who teases and abuses men, because that's not me at all. I'm glad you have pointed out how I appeared to you and maybe others as well. If you wouldn't have done that I wouldn't have been able to explain myself.
You also definitely made me think about why I feel the need that I have to somehow get over my feelings that he is rejecting me. Not just him, but everyone in general. It really bothers me that I have such a big issue with this. I could just as easily be involved with someone who showers me with attention and doesn't make me feel rejected, but like I said, I think this is an issue I need to face and conquer and that is his purpose in my life. I believe that EVERYTHING happens for reason. Including this conversation with you. :-) So you go right ahead and continue with your tough love girlfriend.
"I think this is an issue I need to face and conquer and that is his purpose in my life"
Hell yeah, everything has a purpose. The question we all have to face is - do we recognize it when it stands before us, or, are we too busy worrying about our insecurities?
Kisses and hugs to you, for being so understanding of the personal mission I set in life. I'm like my own religion, lol
Thump, thump, thump - only not the Bible - self awareness.
Hell yeah, everything has a purpose. The question we all have to face is - do we recognize it when it stands before us, or, are we too busy worrying about our insecurities?
Kisses and hugs to you, for being so understanding of the personal mission I set in life. I'm like my own religion, lol
Thump, thump, thump - only not the Bible - self awareness.
Amen!!! Halleluja!!
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