A bit of a dilemma with my Aquarian ex

Hello all =)

This is my first time posting on this forum, but I have been reading it for quite some time and enjoy to hear what many of you guys have to say. So, I thought I'd see what everyone thinks of my situation.

One my friends is an Aquarius, and I am a gemini. We've been friends for 10 years, and developed into best friends this past year. During this year, it was completely obvious that we both liked each other and our mutual friends said the chemistry was electric. So, being the confident woman that I am, I just asked him how he felt about me. I could tell he was shy and I was afraid of hurting our friendship by making him feel uncomfortable if he didn't have feelings for me.

So, we ended up dating for four months. He admitted that when things were getting serious he felt the desire to question things and detach himself. Being the impatient gemini that I am, I would get frustrated with him and show no patience. Anything you could've done to push an aquarius away, I managed to do. Being emotional, jealous, impatient. So, he ended up breaking up with me. Don't get me wrong, we had amazing times but the bad times were spawned by my inability to cooperate with his aloofness and insecurities with his own desires to want to be in a relationship yet still maintain his independence. Not the the failure of our relationship was entirely my fault, but my lack of knowledge on dealing with an Aquarius man was definitely the catalyst to the end. Ironically, I dated another Aquarian before for 3 years, but things were different because I was always the one pushing him away, so he was magnetically drawn to me.

So, we're still the best of friends, and he still treats me like his girlfriend, even though we both made it clear that we're not in a relationship. I told him that perhaps for the sake of our friendship, we should take a little bit of time apart simply to emotionally sort things out on our own.

My question is, is this situation hopeless or can I turn things around? The chemistry between us is unbelievable, I've never seen it before, and I don't want to give up on a relationship that could be amazing. He said that he doesn't think he'd want to date me again because of the problems we have. However, I now understand how to approach his needs and think it may work. We will always be best friends, but of course I want more. Any suggestions?

Also, sorry for the super long post. =) It's a complicated situation.

Thanks for the advice. =) I told him that after our little "break" I want to start with a fresh new friendship and to just keep the bad things in the past. I told him that I want to delve back into our amazing and close friendship and see where that takes us. If that only takes us to a longer lasting friendship, then that's great because I'm blessed to have such a good friend. If it turns into something more, then we'll see from there. He seemed to appreciate the logic in that approach and he agrees. So, I guess we'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I'm going to focus on not being impatient with him. I agree with you on the fact that patience is key when it comes to relationship and men.

My aqua ex and I had a very similar situation...not so much a loss of patience on my part though, but he wasn't ready for a relationship and I was. Things did turn ugly, but we took some time apart (much needed) and are very good friends now. I still have feelings for him, hell, I still love him very much, but can't be there with him unless A. he wants me to and B. he's ready.

It's been over a year now, and we slept together a couple of times since then, very clear and dry fwb type thing. I think he still cares, I may be wrong, but I believe it anyway. But that is NOT the reason I hooked up with him, just that the sex is sooo good 😉.

I agree with a muse a libra, they are very gifted sexually🙂

"My question is, is this situation hopeless or can I turn things around? The chemistry between us is unbelievable, I've never seen it before, and I don't want to give up on a relationship that could be amazing"

-the situation is not hopeless...you still have a chance. trust me...

whether you want to take that chance again is another question. the push/pull effect is a LOT to deal with and it sounds that he is a typical aqua male that will use the push/pull effect. especially if he has already shown that in the first 4 months...not good.

It's a complicated situation.

"LOL!!! isn't it always a compicated situation when there is an aqua male involved?"

i read an article reently that said if you?re ex still speaks to his ex, you should be glad that he?s the type of person that can move on without bitterness. I just dont see it like that..i dont mind, but at least be discreet, or make sure i dont find out about it because i have a real problem But its not jealousy, its anger at the disrespect, that he doesnt realise that its the present and future that counts, there?s no space in my current relationship for someone else?s past, i cleaned out my own life before i got started with someone else.

A bit off topic, sorry!

Absolutely, but i try and consider his feelings if my past comes back to the present and i never involve him if its not necessary. I wouldnt dream that he doesnt find other women beautiful, because i know he is VERY visually stimulated by the opposite sex, lol!!! But then again, people like looking at each other, especially if they?re attractive.

Plus, my bf is latino, im verryyyy British so our relationship cultures are so completely different. Im more than aware that these men dont have the healthiest attitiude to women, and sometimes i think he feels that my blas? attitude towards him makes him doubt my sincerity..so he tries to provoke jealousy which just makes me mad with anger!! He is used to possesiveness and jealousy, i just dont have that type of approach, i?d rather leave and i dont think he likes it!!!