Aaaaagh!

This post is about my Aqua "friend" I posted about last year who I offended with a drunken text.

Turned out he was going through a lot of shit at that time re. his career and his ego had taken a bit of a bashing and my little episode only added to it.

Anyway after a couple months we sorted things out and became friends again and started seeing each other more. Things turned sort of romantic and we got closer and closer (or so I thought). Cue 9 months later and I'm starting to feel a bit emotionally confused about it all so after seeing him again at the weekend I thought sod it I'm going to tell him how I feel. Which basically was that I felt confused about my feelings for him.

He more or less said he wasn't looking for anything more and simply enjoyed spending time with me having a laugh enjoying my company and sharing intimacy with someone he liked. He then went on to say he's sorry if I feel led on and that his intention wasn't to hurt me.

Thing is I'm not even sure I'm hurt. I only confessed to how I was feeling because honestly I'm confused myself to what those feelings actually are. I'm not an overly emotional person and I don't find it easy to open up at all but after months of us being as intimate as we have been and sharing pretty personal stuff I guess I just "thought" there was maybe more to it.

I'm starting to think I shouldn't have said anything.

*sigh*