Advice/help needed before I dump Aquarius man

I have been friends/colleagues with this Aquarius man for four years (I'm 41, he's 45), and he has been (respectfully) pursuing me from afar for three years. He lives in San Diego, I live in Florida, so it's a long distance thing. I was married until recently, and while he was never shy about telling me how gorgeous/amazing/smart/blahblahblah, after I got divorced a few months ago, things between us quickly turned romantic. I heard from him several times a day via text and got regular phone calls. We finally saw each other in person for the first time in three years during a romantic getaway weekend in late September, and it was incredible--the conversation, the mind-melding, the affection, the talk, and sex...all of it. He freely told me things about how lucky he felt to be with such a beautiful woman, and the compliments flowed like Niagara falls. About a week later, he drove down to Florida from where he was working in NC to see me, and he stayed for about two weeks (partly at my home). We did a lot of fun things together, and I tried to keep things light and fun; after all, I'm recently divorced, I knew the Aqua traits, and didn't want to seem like I was looking for anything serious. My entire family lives in the area, so he met most of my family members--NOT my parents, and it was in a very casual setting. We spoke on the phone right after he left, and he said he "wanted to make plans" with me (in the figurative sense). I agreed, whatever that meant. He said I was his "safe place" and wanted to come see me (as opposed to me visiting him in San Diego) because he felt at home in my house. OK, cool.

After about a week, the detachment started. During one text conversation, things got weird. I was joking around about something, and he said I was just playing my games again. I'm a Libra with no filter, and as a recent divorcée, I have no interest in being anything but a straight shooter. I told him I was hurt by the assertion I would play games with someone I considered a good friend and had a lot of respect for. He just replied that it was an observation, not a judgment, and if I felt hurt then that was my choice. That was when I switched from text to phone call. It was a bit tense, but somehow towards the end of the conversation he started laying out all the things about me he finds so incredible (looks, brains, etc.). He said I made him feel like a king to be seen on his arm (figuratively again; I have MS and use a power wheelchair), and it was amazing to him that I would open up my home and life and family to him. I had expressed concerns that he was not a smart choice for me as a partner, and he just suggested I get out of my head (I'm a Libra; I do that) and have fun with it. I agreed.

We texted once or twice after that, but then the disappearing act started. I ignored him for several days. He sent me one Facebook message that said "Good morning!!!" I replied with a simple, "Hey, how are you?" and he never replied. It's been a week an

It's been a week and nada/zero/nothing. He also has stopped liking or commenting on any of my (frequent) Facebook posts, which he usually does every day. I've read a gazillion things about the Aqua disappearing act, so I guess I expected this. But based on the content of our last conversation, I'm having a hard time being clear-headed about his intentions for disappearing. I have a very busy life, but I also don't have time to waste on someone who may or may not still be interested because he "got me" after three years and I'm no longer the shiniest object in the room. Should I give him more time to come around, or cut my losses now?

Posted by busyeyes88
Don't cling!!!

Aquarius likes a lot of space!! They are extremely independent and unemotional people. They will come and go!!

Also if you are just divorced, why on earth would you want to go straight into another relationship? He's probably thinking the same thing!! That's just plain crazy. If you don't like it find someone local to home. Aqua is who he is and will not be changing for you and don't expect him too. They are detached. That's how they are naturally. If you want clingy get another sign. Libras, I have to admit "test " people alot and play alot of games.

Just keep him as a long distance friend find a local man, but don't rush into another relationship!! That would be crazy! Concentrate on yourself...

well im pretty emotional, but i'm not clingy, so....

my husband doesn't like clingy either. but he also doesn't like unemotional.
i'm co-dependent on my husband, obviously so i'm not all that independent.
so it depends on the aqua.

but men and women are different also.

remember it's the venus and moon for men, busy!!

plus the OP is talkin long distance again. Ew.

no action, forget it.

you're gonna be miserable with a man who is all talk and NO wallk. double ew.

how can you ladies like this type?

whats your personal planets, OP?

how come you put up with this?

Posted by busyeyes88
Don't cling!!!

Aquarius likes a lot of space!! They are extremely independent and unemotional people. They will come and go!!

Also if you are just divorced, why on earth would you want to go straight into another relationship? He's probably thinking the same thing!! That's just plain crazy. If you don't like it find someone local to home. Aqua is who he is and will not be changing for you and don't expect him too. They are detached. That's how they are naturally. If you want clingy get another sign. Libras, I have to admit "test " people alot and play alot of games.

Just keep him as a long distance friend find a local man, but don't rush into another relationship!! That would be crazy! Concentrate on yourself...

no. many aquas actually are very emoitional, they are just masters at hiding it from others. I also do not necessarily need a lot of space, but i am independant.

Op, he has been pursing you for 3 years and you said this to him?

"I have no interest in being anything but a straight shooter. I told him I was hurt by the assertion I would play games with someone I considered a good friend and had a lot of respect for. He just replied that it was an observation, not a judgment, and if I felt hurt then that was my choice."

He took it for how it seems, that you see him as a friend would be my guess. A week is really not much time in Aqua land, have you tried calling him?

Long distance relationships usually don't work anyway.

All those complements would have me doubting his sincerity. Eh, but I'm a cap.

And it does seem shady that he wants to only come to you. It's a good thing in a practical sense, but I'd question why he didn't want me coming there.

I'd keep things friendly, but I'd find a local guy. Just don't rush into a new relationship. Play the field and date for a while before you get setious.

What truecap said, good advise. i honeslty skimmed and i didn't notice the part about him only coming to you, that is odd.

I definitely need to clarify a couple of things. First of all, as I am partially disabled, I have to use a power wheelchair and his home in San Diego is completely inaccessible; I would have to stay in a hotel if I came out to visit him, which is why it is logistically easier for him to come visit me. Second of all, my marriage was over years before I actually got divorced. There was no love for a long time, so my recently being divorced is just a date on a calendar; it has no bearing whatsoever on my readiness to be in a relationship.

@justagirl No way in a million years would I call him. The last thing I want to do is be pushy when he's having his alone time; I know enough about aquas to not make that catastrophic mistake. We've been friends all this time, so I don't think either one of us expects that to change. However, he knows my intentions are romantic and not just friends with benefits. I even went so far as to tell him that if he wanted to do whatever it was that we were doing with somebody else in San Diego, that would be cool, but to let me know so I can tap out. I told him I don't share; in other words, I don't need to put a label on whatever were doing, but I didn't plan on doing it with anybody else and I didn't think it was cool if he did without letting me go first.

@lisabethur8

Sun = Libra
Moon = Aquarius
Mercury = Libra
Venus = Virgo
Mars = Libra
Jupiter = Pisces
Saturn = Cancer
Uranus = Libra
Neptune = Sagittarius
Pluto = Libra