Leo3182
@SA3182
9 YearsLeo
Comments: 0 · Posts: 13 · Topics: 3
aqua man at it again!
You're a good friend to him. If that is too hard to deal with then I would say to move on. Maybe if you're in another relationship and most of your focus is on the other guy, it might be easier to have a good friendship with him.
Posted by sultrykittyThank you for you prompt response...For now my focus was on him...have been really trying my best to move on. Its getting difficult..may be you are right, from his prospective I am just been a good friend to him...
You're a good friend to him. If that is too hard to deal with then I would say to move on. Maybe if you're in another relationship and most of your focus is on the other guy, it might be easier to have a good friendship with him.
If he took a break and told you it was for the specific purpose of figuring things out, and when he came back he isn't saying anything about making a bigger effort in the relationship (or his actions aren't showing that ), it means that he decided that he values you and cares, but he doesn't feel like a bf/gf relationship is what he wants.
It's hard when you love someone to separate that from being IN love with them. Time and some distance can make it easier. You probably have the potential to be great lifelong friends. I'd take that.
It's hard when you love someone to separate that from being IN love with them. Time and some distance can make it easier. You probably have the potential to be great lifelong friends. I'd take that.
Posted by sultrykittythank you @sultrykitty. a 3rd persons prospective always helps. appreciate your inputs.
If he took a break and told you it was for the specific purpose of figuring things out, and when he came back he isn't saying anything about making a bigger effort in the relationship (or his actions aren't showing that ), it means that he decided that he values you and cares, but he doesn't feel like a bf/gf relationship is what he wants.
It's hard when you love someone to separate that from being IN love with them. Time and some distance can make it easier. You probably have the potential to be great lifelong friends. I'd take that.
Best of luck to you!
Posted by sultrykitty
Best of luck to you!
@sultrykitty - request your advice once again. So we have been going strong for a few months now. He has had his lows in life and I have been there for him and he acknowledged the same. A few days back I told him how I feel abt him and that I love him, he reciprocated so well and also mentioned that he loved me too.the day was going great. We were also planning on my birthday celebration which is at the end of this month. However after a couple of hours he wanted to break up. He said he didn't want to hurt me as he was not capable of giving me the attention and affection that I needed or deserved. Though I am a Leo I have been very patient with him. Have never made any unreasonable demands what so ever except for one - no multiple sexual partners. But for some reason he is scared. I know he loves me and waits to meet me. He now wants to just be fwb. I am not ok with such an arrangements and was very clear with him few moths back that either we are in it together or I will need to move on, which also means no friendship. He had given me a day to think abt what we discussed (breaking up or just fwb). I went back to him and said that I will not take any decision as I don't see a problem in our relationship. What we share is beautiful. It's he who is trying to create issue which do not exists so he should be the one taking a decision and I will respect whatever he decides for us. He logic of breaking up now was that instead of he or I parting ways a few months or years later which may cause more damage and he won't be able to handle it. And hence he wants to do it now so it's not difficult for us to move on. He has agreed to continue with the way things are, however with an assurance that he or I will be able to walk out of this any time he feels like. Basically I know that he is freaked out coz he admitted that he is too dependent on me emotionally and it has never happened to him before. What do u think?
It's really exhausting yet so intense...
He's lying to you. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
When a man really loves you. He doesn't want any competition.
He will secure you to make sure you are his.
If he is not afraid of losing you. Let him go.
Stop lying to yourself.
This is not a test.
When a man really loves you. He doesn't want any competition.
He will secure you to make sure you are his.
If he is not afraid of losing you. Let him go.
Stop lying to yourself.
This is not a test.
Wow.
I think you really need to spend more than a day thinking about whether or not you're willing to accept that arrangement.
The good thing is that he's being honest with you. The hard part is that he loves you but just isn't able to give you what he knows you deserve.
Personally, I would walk. The constant state of limbo and knowing that at any time he could just disappear would make me crazy.
He knows this.
He's not ready or willing to do this, and you have to accept that without any hard feelings.
I wouldn't shut the door completely, but it's time for *you* to define your boundaries.
I think you really need to spend more than a day thinking about whether or not you're willing to accept that arrangement.
The good thing is that he's being honest with you. The hard part is that he loves you but just isn't able to give you what he knows you deserve.
Personally, I would walk. The constant state of limbo and knowing that at any time he could just disappear would make me crazy.
He knows this.
He's not ready or willing to do this, and you have to accept that without any hard feelings.
I wouldn't shut the door completely, but it's time for *you* to define your boundaries.
It's really exhausting yet so intense...
You think it's exhausting and intense because you're giving your all trying to be what he needs.
When he's open to someone else entering his life.
His decision is made.
He's not trying to be a permanent fixture in your life to be everything you need in a man.
So why give him this gift when he will so easily let you go.
Posted by happyface1I don't think he's lying. He said he wants FWB. That's pretty honest in my book. She has to decide if that's OK with her. I agree with everything else you said though.
He's lying to you. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
When a man really loves you. He doesn't want any competition.
He will secure you to make sure you are his.
If he is not afraid of losing you. Let him go.
Stop lying to yourself.
This is not a test.
sounds like my old Aqua guy...
lots of 12th house placements.
moon sq. Venus
moon conjunct Saturn
moon conjunct Neptune
Venus sq. Saturn
Venus sq. Uranus
Venus sq. Neptune
unable of commitment even if they love you. he will never be capable of committing to me, though he's expressed that he wanted to on several occasions. he may really care and love you, but he sounds like he is unable to commit. don't wait for him. move on. for yourself.
you will be able to remain friends. I am still friends with my guy. he suffers. had a bad relationship w his mother. very much the black sheep of the family with a lot of self-confidence issues. his 12th house has huge influence on him. moon, uranus, Neptune and Saturn all in the 12th.... he has a very "sad" birth chart. he creates most of his issues himself. he is a prisoner of his own mind.
not to say this is your guy at all, but this is an example I know of and have experienced. you saying he had issues with his family and father reminded me of my guy specifically.
any man- not just Aqua- is capable of this, of course. the problem is, you can't wait forever. with these types of issues, it may not be plausible to keep trying. you are only damaging yourself by trying to be patient with someone who may never change. I've been there as you can see. I tried with all my heart. I could not get through, and in the end it hurt me more than anything to really come to terms with the fact that he was incapable of allowing himself to love.
he used to talk about having children and everything with me. but it was always "one day". then he'd say he is unable to commit. very flighty. he's still in contact to this day. it's sad, but it's life.
hopefully our guys will one day be capable of loving themselves. then they'll be able to allow themselves to truly love and be in a relationship. I know my Aqua had a lot of self-love issues. he's a great guy. he buries himself in sorrow and self-doubt.
lots of 12th house placements.
moon sq. Venus
moon conjunct Saturn
moon conjunct Neptune
Venus sq. Saturn
Venus sq. Uranus
Venus sq. Neptune
unable of commitment even if they love you. he will never be capable of committing to me, though he's expressed that he wanted to on several occasions. he may really care and love you, but he sounds like he is unable to commit. don't wait for him. move on. for yourself.
you will be able to remain friends. I am still friends with my guy. he suffers. had a bad relationship w his mother. very much the black sheep of the family with a lot of self-confidence issues. his 12th house has huge influence on him. moon, uranus, Neptune and Saturn all in the 12th.... he has a very "sad" birth chart. he creates most of his issues himself. he is a prisoner of his own mind.
not to say this is your guy at all, but this is an example I know of and have experienced. you saying he had issues with his family and father reminded me of my guy specifically.
any man- not just Aqua- is capable of this, of course. the problem is, you can't wait forever. with these types of issues, it may not be plausible to keep trying. you are only damaging yourself by trying to be patient with someone who may never change. I've been there as you can see. I tried with all my heart. I could not get through, and in the end it hurt me more than anything to really come to terms with the fact that he was incapable of allowing himself to love.
he used to talk about having children and everything with me. but it was always "one day". then he'd say he is unable to commit. very flighty. he's still in contact to this day. it's sad, but it's life.
hopefully our guys will one day be capable of loving themselves. then they'll be able to allow themselves to truly love and be in a relationship. I know my Aqua had a lot of self-love issues. he's a great guy. he buries himself in sorrow and self-doubt.
in regards to the FWB, that's all it will be. it will not flower into anything new. forgot to add that in my last post.
do not cloud your own judgment. he may be only capable of FWB, but are you? you have to consider yourself first. who will suffer more here? don't make yourself suffer.
you can be friends. but don't add "with benefits" at the end unless you want a lot of heartache at the end.
if you can handle it, go ahead. but speaking from experience, it's not really worth it. since he expressed his love for you, if that was true, he will be satisfied with being your friend without any "benefits".
good luck
do not cloud your own judgment. he may be only capable of FWB, but are you? you have to consider yourself first. who will suffer more here? don't make yourself suffer.
you can be friends. but don't add "with benefits" at the end unless you want a lot of heartache at the end.
if you can handle it, go ahead. but speaking from experience, it's not really worth it. since he expressed his love for you, if that was true, he will be satisfied with being your friend without any "benefits".
good luck
Posted by sultrykittyPosted by happyface1I don't think he's lying. He said he wants FWB. That's pretty honest in my book. She has to decide if that's OK with her. I agree with everything else you said though.
He's lying to you. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
When a man really loves you. He doesn't want any competition.
He will secure you to make sure you are his.
If he is not afraid of losing you. Let him go.
Stop lying to yourself.
This is not a test.
click to expand
You're right he was honest about that.
I was talking about him lying about the reasons why he wanted to take the first break and why he decided to be fwb.
I just think he doesn't see a future with her and keeps giving well thought out excuses on why.
Posted by happyface1I will say that I went through this a lot with my Aqua. He would say we'd never work out, we have no future, blah blah.Posted by sultrykittyPosted by happyface1I don't think he's lying. He said he wants FWB. That's pretty honest in my book. She has to decide if that's OK with her. I agree with everything else you said though.
He's lying to you. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
When a man really loves you. He doesn't want any competition.
He will secure you to make sure you are his.
If he is not afraid of losing you. Let him go.
Stop lying to yourself.
This is not a test.
You're right he was honest about that.
I was talking about him lying about the reasons why he wanted to take the first break and why he decided to be fwb.
I just think he doesn't see a future with her and keeps giving well thought out excuses on why.
click to expand
But I knew we had something.
There's a really interesting dynamic with Aquas and Leos. We tend to bring to the surface feelings that Aquas don't want exposed. And they use this kind of language to intimidate us into "behaving" until they're comfortable with opening up.
That's not to say that she should do anything different but it just seems to be the way it works with us.
Either we learn to back off and give them something to think about and they learn to embrace that which they fear--vulnerability, or neither does and the relationship ends.
Posted by sultrykittyPosted by happyface1Posted by sultrykittyPosted by happyface1I don't think he's lying. He said he wants FWB. That's pretty honest in my book. She has to decide if that's OK with her. I agree with everything else you said though.
He's lying to you. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
When a man really loves you. He doesn't want any competition.
He will secure you to make sure you are his.
If he is not afraid of losing you. Let him go.
Stop lying to yourself.
This is not a test.
You're right he was honest about that.
I was talking about him lying about the reasons why he wanted to take the first break and why he decided to be fwb.
I just think he doesn't see a future with her and keeps giving well thought out excuses on why.
I will say that I went through this a lot with my Aqua. He would say we'd never work out, we have no future, blah blah.
But I knew we had something.
There's a really interesting dynamic with Aquas and Leos. We tend to bring to the surface feelings that Aquas don't want exposed. And they use this kind of language to intimidate us into "behaving" until they're comfortable with opening up.
That's not to say that she should do anything different but it just seems to be the way it works with us.
Either we learn to back off and give them something to think about and they learn to embrace that which they fear--vulnerability, or neither does and the relationship ends.
click to expand
but your aqua has lack of water. he's Taurus moon, aries mars aqua venus and dominant libra right? I think he's Neptune libra generation if I recall? so emotions are not really his thing.
Posted by happyface1
He's lying to you. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
When a man really loves you. He doesn't want any competition.
He will secure you to make sure you are his.
If he is not afraid of losing you. Let him go.
Stop lying to yourself.
This is not a test.
I agree with this. if a man wants you, you won't be wondering. and being all crazy.
Posted by lisabethur8True, but he's Aqua dominant. I'm the Libra dominant one. 🙂Posted by sultrykittyPosted by happyface1Posted by sultrykittyPosted by happyface1I don't think he's lying. He said he wants FWB. That's pretty honest in my book. She has to decide if that's OK with her. I agree with everything else you said though.
He's lying to you. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
When a man really loves you. He doesn't want any competition.
He will secure you to make sure you are his.
If he is not afraid of losing you. Let him go.
Stop lying to yourself.
This is not a test.
You're right he was honest about that.
I was talking about him lying about the reasons why he wanted to take the first break and why he decided to be fwb.
I just think he doesn't see a future with her and keeps giving well thought out excuses on why.
I will say that I went through this a lot with my Aqua. He would say we'd never work out, we have no future, blah blah.
But I knew we had something.
There's a really interesting dynamic with Aquas and Leos. We tend to bring to the surface feelings that Aquas don't want exposed. And they use this kind of language to intimidate us into "behaving" until they're comfortable with opening up.
That's not to say that she should do anything different but it just seems to be the way it works with us.
Either we learn to back off and give them something to think about and they learn to embrace that which they fear--vulnerability, or neither does and the relationship ends.
but your aqua has lack of water. he's Taurus moon, aries mars aqua venus and dominant libra right? I think he's Neptune libra generation if I recall? so emotions are not really his thing.
click to expand
He actually has more water than I do which isn't saying much.
Posted by sultrykittyPosted by lisabethur8True, but he's Aqua dominant. I'm the Libra dominant one. 🙂Posted by sultrykittyPosted by happyface1Posted by sultrykittyPosted by happyface1I don't think he's lying. He said he wants FWB. That's pretty honest in my book. She has to decide if that's OK with her. I agree with everything else you said though.
He's lying to you. He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.
When a man really loves you. He doesn't want any competition.
He will secure you to make sure you are his.
If he is not afraid of losing you. Let him go.
Stop lying to yourself.
This is not a test.
You're right he was honest about that.
I was talking about him lying about the reasons why he wanted to take the first break and why he decided to be fwb.
I just think he doesn't see a future with her and keeps giving well thought out excuses on why.
I will say that I went through this a lot with my Aqua. He would say we'd never work out, we have no future, blah blah.
But I knew we had something.
There's a really interesting dynamic with Aquas and Leos. We tend to bring to the surface feelings that Aquas don't want exposed. And they use this kind of language to intimidate us into "behaving" until they're comfortable with opening up.
That's not to say that she should do anything different but it just seems to be the way it works with us.
Either we learn to back off and give them something to think about and they learn to embrace that which they fear--vulnerability, or neither does and the relationship ends.
but your aqua has lack of water. he's Taurus moon, aries mars aqua venus and dominant libra right? I think he's Neptune libra generation if I recall? so emotions are not really his thing.
He actually has more water than I do which isn't saying much.
click to expand
oh interesting. My husband is virgo, leo scorpio, dominant, no libra. only pluto is singularity libra.
and NO aqua, not even aqua dominant. only asteroid.
meh. never mind what I said about 12th. whateverssss....
-_-
-_-
Posted by busyeyes88Posted by SA3182It seems as though he does not want a committed relationship with you but with an FWB arrangement he gets to have sex with you without any obligation of a proper relationship. Please spare yourself some heartache now and furher down the line and walk away now. He will always be this way....Posted by sultrykitty
Best of luck to you!
@sultrykitty - request your advice once again. So we have been going strong for a few months now. He has had his lows in life and I have been there for him and he acknowledged the same. A few days back I told him how I feel abt him and that I love him, he reciprocated so well and also mentioned that he loved me too.the day was going great. We were also planning on my birthday celebration which is at the end of this month. However after a couple of hours he wanted to break up. He said he didn't want to hurt me as he was not capable of giving me the attention and affection that I needed or deserved. Though I am a Leo I have been very patient with him. Have never made any unreasonable demands what so ever except for one - no multiple sexual partners. But for some reason he is scared. I know he loves me and waits to meet me. He now wants to just be fwb. I am not ok with such an arrangements and was very clear with him few moths back that either we are in it together or I will need to move on, which also means no friendship. He had given me a day to think abt what we discussed (breaking up or just fwb). I went back to him and said that I will not take any decision as I don't see a problem in our relationship. What we share is beautiful. It's he who is trying to create issue which do not exists so he should be the one taking a decision and I will respect whatever he decides for us. He logic of breaking up now was that instead of he or I parting ways a few months or years later which may cause more damage and he won't be able to handle it. And hence he wants to do it now so it's not difficult for us to move on. He has agreed to continue with the way things are, however with an assurance that he or I will be able to walk out of this any time he feels like. Basically I know that he is freaked out coz he admitted that he is too dependent on me emotionally and it has never happened to him before. What do u think?
It's really exhausting yet so intense...
click to expand
This^^.
sorry I am late... however thank you all for your inputs.
Posted by SA3182
sorry I am late... however thank you all for your inputs.
You sound very clear and aware, this is a hard situation, but I think you said everything....
From website about opposites - Ah, romantic chemistry: So thrilling, so unpredictable ... and yet, so exhausting. Any two horoscope signs can get along if both are willing to work out their differences. Opposite signs, however, share a special attraction right from the start -- and also face the special challenges that come with having very different personalities.
Just as a battery creates an energizing spark when opposite polarities are brought together, signs that are polar opposites on the horoscopic wheel generate sparks that can ignite passionate relationships. But spending time with someone whose approach to life is completely opposite your own can be draining, too, and eventually your relationship battery will need to be recharged. How can you and your opposite sign revive the spark that brought you together -- and maintain your relationship's sizzle?
Attraction explodes when Leo, the king or queen of the kingdom, encounters irreverent Aquarius. Aquarius, who refuses to bow before royalty, fascinates Leo; Aquarius admires Leo's ability to warm up any room with sheer charisma. Over time, though, Aquarius can become weary of Leo's need for attention, and Leo grows cranky as Aquarius continually defies social conventions. When you're ready to wash your hands of each other, drag each other off to bed instead. Spending time away from crowds and indulging the purely physical side of your relationship is the surest way to find common ground and reenergize your attraction.http://www.dailyhoroscope.com/horoscope-headlines/astrology-opposite-horoscope-signs-attract
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