Aqua to Aqua Advice?

Aqua's are known for being distant, aloof, etc. The two reasons I find myself this way is because:

1. I like my space and being too close and personal to a lot of people takes up a lot of energy. It gets exhausting.

2. I don't want to make anyone around me feel uncomfortable. I don't know the boundaries in some relationships. Sometimes it's hard to define what's considered weird to some people.

So with all of that being said... I need an Aqua's advice on how they handle the #2 situation? I want to feel closer to people, but I don't want to cross the boundary lines. I don't want to make others feel uncomfortable like I am invading too much of their personal space. Or maybe, I am just projecting my own feelings about the "personal space" issue. I've just been finding it hard lately to form proper friendships because they feel so distant and empty on my end. Any help?

Sometimes other people dont like to be treated the way you would like to be treated, I learned.

Lol, is this a time that us Aqua's must call upon the water signs for help? But then again... they probably get put off for being too touchy-feely and emotional. Aww crap! Just can't seem to win in this world. Wonder what sign is considered the most balanced?

LOL I don't understand how we can be considered the most balanced either. Someone seriously must have gotten that one wrong.

HAHAHA OFA I have to Libran sisters and they are the most indecisive human beings on the face of the earth. 😉

Oh yes and Happy New Years to you too theskys 🙂

OFA as well

I agree that Librans get along well with everyone. Every Libran is pretty friendly to everyone around them (to their face, at least). BUT I've known them to be very indecisive people which is unstable in my eyes.

Haha!! OFA I'm that way too with my emotions. They are so sporatic!! I think Aqua's are like a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. One day someone is going to bump into one of us and smear ketchup on our shirt and then all hell is going to break loose!!!

LMFAO! Yeah, I feel ya there!! Shit could hit the fan and I'd be laughing my whole way through the chaos but the minute the crowd starts "booing" me on my nephews Rock Band game.... lets just say.. hopefully it's a cheap t.v. lol

Interesting question. Boundaries are hard to define, especially when dealing with people. It is even more difficult when other people around you feel uncomfortable because they do not know how to approach you. No matter where we go, there will always be people who will make us feel uncomfortable and feel uncomfortable around you. I personally do not like when other people invade my personal space. It makes me feel like I am on the spot. I need to see how you represent yourself as a person first, before I will feel comfortable opening up. Getting others to feel comfortable around you is not something that comes by force or manipulation, it comes with patience, time and with respect.

For me, I try to engage in conversation or go with the flow of the dynamics. I am outgoing and fiesty in nature. If I am feeling it, I will go with it, but I am also very detached and when it comes to relationships and getting personal, I tend to be a bit moe reserved in nature.

After time, you will learn what lines you can cross and which ones not to cross. If you crossed a line, dust it off and press forward. At least you can say you tried.

OFA - I'm sure all Aqua's look strange for many other reasons anyways. But that makes us "unique" hehe :-)

Somechick - Excellent Advice, Thank you! Lately, I've been having trouble defining boundaries. I'm normally distant with everyone and hide behind my humor because I find humor "safe ground." But it feels like I am missing something. I want to be able to form closer relationships, but not the "I'm going to be up your ass" kind. I just want to be able to have a conversation with people and connect on a deeper level. Again, the boundaries confuse me because it is so hard to pinpoint everyones individual comfort level. I agree that it takes patience, time and respect. Maybe where I am going wrong is I am not being patient enough to let nature take its natural course. Maybe I need the patience to learn others and to take the time to test the waters. Thank you, for helping me see the other side of the coin. :-)

Well, I think Aquarians almost have split personalities when it comes to close friendships & relationships sometimes. When we are first getting to know someone, we are very distant, detached & find personal space very important to our well being. Plus, not to mention, we are very guarded around our own hearts because we know how OPPOSITE we can be when we wear our hearts on our sleeve. I think the whole "distant" thing is about timing. And the right timing. I convince myself sometimes that I don't have a constant urge to be around people 24-7 and/or cling to everything that wants to cling to me. But I normally find myself feeling this way only when I don't have a deep connection with someone.

But yet once I have a deep connection with another person & I've seen that my urge to be around them more is okay with them, then my other side comes out. Then I start to feel empty inside when I'm not around that person all the time. Then I start to feel like something is "missing" when I get the impression that by being myself, I am invading that other person's space. It's almost like things are completely reversed. We know that we have so much to offer & give but I must say the good thing about us is that no matter how much we love or care or crave for another person, we won't push ourselves onto someone else unless, and only UNTIL we feel that us doing so will BENEFIT the situation & not invade or damage the situation.

And I think because we don't understand this very thing about ourselves we fear that it will be very obvious & impossible for others to understand about us

As Aquarians, we sometimes forget that in the beginning we defined ourselves as these fiercely independent & unnattached "don't-need-anybody" creatures. And we forget that some people observe our behavior the same way we observe theirs. And when we all of the sudden flip the script & let our guards down, we leave the other person wondering where the "distant" and protected side of us went. And once we can begin to feel ourselves starting to open up more, we get scared & wonder if our partners or friends will "accept" this new side of us that randomly appeared out of no where.

What we have to understand as Aquarians is that we are different & that alot of people naturally find it in themselves to adapt to however we "work." They observe us very closely & find ways to approach us, find ways to intrigue us & really try to understand us at an unemotional or unclingy level. And the minute we feel ourselves starting to drop our guards for that other person, all the unclingyness & unemotional side of us goes too, leaving the other person wondering how to cope & adapt to the "new" us. We start to question our "boundaries" because we remember how strongly represented the "strong & unemotional" side of us that acted like we didn't need anybody to survive & it's hard to change up & to start opening up because we still sometimes feel like we are doing ourselves wrong by opening up (because we are so used to being what everyone's used to us being.) So it becomes a challenge within ourselves. It's not necessarily that the other person won't like the new us or the more "open" side we show. It's more of our own self-consciousness that's causing us to hesitate & ask those questions. And naturally, we hate to admit that we have questions or need any kind of assistance when it comes to our own self awareness & behaviors so we'll automatically pass it off as a question directed towards outsiders instead of a question directed towards ourselves.