Aquarian Women Needed

I just became best friends with this Aquarian woman's boyfriend of the past five years. She's really cool about our friendship. She just found out that he has a sexual and physical attraction to me, and suggested that we do a threesome. So we did it. She's still cool about us being friends. Every time I'm at their house I feel a tension between me and her. She won't ever say anything, but I just feel some negative vibes from her. I don't have any sexual or physical attraction for her man like he does for me, and she knows that. What type of behavior should I expect from her in the near future? Me and her aren't what you would call friends, I'm only good friends with him. Should I expect some betrayal from her?

OH-[heck] here we go again hahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa : ]

I don't understand agreeing to have sex with a man who you have no physical or sexual attraction to...

Period.

Star

Maybe I should explain further...

Don't you like yourself any better than that?

As far as the whole thing goes...I do not understand it...

You are not interested in him...

I guess I feel that sex was meant to be an intimate expression of feelings between TWO who really care about each other..

What does it mean to you?

Star

I totally agree with Star. I'll go one step further and just come out with it and say "YOUR NASTY!" Not only are you not physically attracted to him but you also had sex with her and you dont even consider her a friend or attractive either. In the first place, what the hell are doing running around town pulling your pants down and getting sexually involved in other people's relationship for? Have you not one shred of decency? Do you really like yourself knowing your a slut who shows herself no self respect? Get a grip...and I dont mean on another girls boyfriends penis either... Personally, I hope the girl dumps her boyfriend who admitted to her that he's attracted to you. That relationship is now bassically beyond repair.I hope she leaves the bastard with his sleazy friend (you) and moves on. She deserves better. One more thing, dont even get me started on what betrayal you should expect from her...you'll get what you deserve. You can count on that. God always makes sure people learn their lessons even if it has to be the hard way.

Way to go! I like your bluntness!
Star

talk about being judgemental

OK...so, what is your opinion?

I will try to be open minded...let's hear your opinion.

Things I read on a Sunday morning hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa : ] CB

To 64-12-102-54!

You couldn't have been more upfront and personally I think so right on this subject. KARMA what goes around comes around. What sign are you?

My name is Heather. I've responded to many of these postings.(Anonymously of course!) I live in Austin Texas I'm 36 and....a Virgo.

Judgemental? Hmmm. Not for me to decide.

Heather from Austin. You're right. I shoudn't have done it. I feel horrible for what I've done. I thought I was helping them. His girl wanted it as badly as he did. They thought it was beautiful. I think it is dirty. I feel used by the two of them. I feel nasty. It wasn't enjoying for me. I shouldn't have sex with a man whom I consider my friend. The whole act has destroyed our friendship that I valued very much. I don't ever have sex with my friends and now I know why. What type of advice do I give this couple? He wants to do it again. I told them both NO. She getting a little fed up with her man's attraction to be, but she will still do anything for him, if that's what it takes for him to marry her. The worst part about this is, they have two kids and they're getting married in a few months. What do I tell her. She's not someone I would consider my friend like I said, but I would hate for her to end up hurt. I've put my friendship with him on hold, but he keeps calling me and wanting to see me. What do I do?

This goes to Star. I agree with you about sex should only be between two people who love each other. That should never be shared between another person. To be honest I don't know what came over me. I'm not a dirty person when it comes to sex. I think of sex a beautiful act when it's done with the right person you love. I don't love either of those two people. What type of advice do I give to him and her seperatly. I know this was unhealthy for their relationship and their soon-to-be marriage. She will keep doing it if he wants it. What do I tell her to let her know that she is being manipulated by him and this relationship is going to make her a weaker person, if she keeps doing what he says, and she know it aint right. I want to tell her that, but I don't want her to take my advice the wrong way. She may think I doing it to break them up for the wrong reason. Help Me.

First of all. I want to say that I'm very surprised by your response. I thought that once I stated who I was, that you would want to be unkind with me. Let's move forward. In my opinion, I hold love in the highest regard. I feel that when you are truly in love with someone, that would be the only time that you should make love with that person. It isnt about just being friends and complying with other people's requests. I'd like to add that to think about getting naked and playing around... sure, I've had offers to comply with other people's fantasies. It comes down to whether or not your moral's are willing to allow that (sexual experience)to happen. As far as your friendship with him and it being on "hold" is concerned.-In my opinion- you took that friendship one step too far. If it was me? I would say -walk away...I'm sorry. Find people who dont request you to be a third party in their messed up relationship to begin with. Start over. I know that it may be a difficult loss at first. Losing him? As a best friend? You already saw him naked. Is he really just a best friend? What about her? Did you like being a party to their sexual experiment? Really? When you have to think about a mistake that made you feel dirty? Let the two of them work that out. Please, my friend, let them go and walk away.

This is to the the woman from Austin again. I agree with you about cutting it off and ending the friendship. I'm afraid that's hard to do, since we are business partners. We have spent the last year starting up this small business that has plans to really take off in a few months. Me and him have discussed this deeply, and he has apologized for the situation he put me in, and for my feeling I had afterwards. He said he never wanted me to be hurt by all of this. If he had of known that I would feel like this, he would have never asked me. He said he felt the same way I did about the friendship. He would have never thought we would end up naked together. The whole thing started when his girlfriend got a little jealous about the time he was spending with me and the business. She assumed that he was cheating. They got in huge arguement about it. During this arguement she asked him if he were attracted to me and he told her he was His attraction for me is innocent, he has never wanted to pursue or take this attraction further. We have been friends for years and he has never gave me the impression that wanted to have sex. Like I said before me and her have just become friends and have really gotten to know each other. I guess she was a little intimidated by me because she was attracted to me for the same reasons he is. I don't mean to talk about myself, but most people think because I'm physically attractive to most men that I don't have brains, but I do. She saw why he may be attracted to me. What she failed to realize is he loves her like crazy and he would never cheat on her or do anything to hurt her. So they thought it would be a good idea if they played out one of their sexual fantasies with me, since they both felt comfortable with me.. Like I said before, they thought there was no harm in what we were doing, they thought it was beautiful. Ending the friendship means destroying all our money, time, and effort we put into a business. I'm willing to continue running our business, if they both can forget about this mistake, and use it to learn from. I know he is, I'm not too sure about how she feels about it. She says it's OK, but there's is something about her that I don't trust. She acts a little different and weird. She has always seemed a little weird to me but this is different. Do you think this is possible or is it still too late. I want to save the business, I know the friendship is lost, but I still care about him.

I was going to say I agree with the opinion of walking away...telling them it was a mistake...and go on with your life...

This whole "being in business together" complicates it!

It would be nice if all involved could be mature and go about business as usual and forget it never happened...(not that that is really possible...)

She may be jealous of you, but, doesn't want to show it...and it is possible that she will never trust you, even though she was involved...she will wonder when you are alone with him "if"...

You must never let him talk sexual to you or let it get out of hand...

Let's face it...there are many beautiful women in this world...and many men would take a chance if given it...

It is up to the women to say "No"...

Always has been that way...

Good Luck!
Star

Me and him are willing to move on to pursue the business only. There is no doubt in my mind neither of us will forget this ever happened. It wil always be stuck in the back of our minds. But, we are willing to be mature and just keep it in the back of our mind and never bring it back in the open again. Before this happened we have never been sexual with each other. We never even flirt or joked with each other sexually. He's a respectable man and good father. I guess even good people have a strange opinions of what they think is fun. I just don't want her to be jealous of me. She has a good man, and she has nothing to worry about. How and/or do I explain that to her, before she really starts to worry, and possibly do something that could destroy the relationship we need to have to make our business a complete success. That's our only priority. Hurting her is not it. Will talking to her make the situation worse or better. If so, what do I say to her. I want her to believe that I don't have any bad intentions. I just don't want her to feel jealous or feel like she has something to worry about.

It will only make it worse to try to convince her of your intentions to put it all behind you...sometimes the more you try to convince someone of something...the more they think you are trying to convince yourself...

The only answer is time. You will have to prove it over time...with actions (or in this case, non-actions), not with words...

If she brings it up...which most likely she won't...then, by all means discuss it with her...

As Heather said, she has been propositioned before...as have I...most attractive women have had odd propositions in their lives...
Consider this a lesson learned..

Take Care!
Star

You seem to have more than just him in mind when you replay the sexual act in your mind. If you are genuinely concerned about her and her pain? I still find your sexual aspect in the middle of their relationship to be beyond your call of duty. It's apparent that you have a business with this man. How could you find yourself sexually involved with the two of them in the first place? If the bussiness with your (so called friend) is your money and your personal means of support, why did you get physically involved with your friend and his soon to be wife? Of course he may want to pursue another naked experience with you. What a man thinks and what a woman thinks are completely different. It (in my opinion) was stupid of you to begin with. I'm trying to be as sympathetic as I can be but I cant. You got naked and had sex with both of them. Then you say that you dont want her to feel any pain and that they (he and she) want to pursue an opportunity to have another sexual experience with you. I (in my opinion)I would have never allowed that predicament to happen in the first place. I dont see you as being an angel and that you havent been meddling in their relationship. I see you as a person who get's exactly what she deserves. Sorry... I'm no help here.

Star, you are more tolerant than I am.
I'm sorry. Heather

Hey, don't apologize to me girl! I am a people-pleaser by nature...

I look for the positive and have this sickening Polly-Anna-ish outlook at times...

When you write...I can see your point...

I still think my points were valid...but, as you say...I would never have gotten myself in this predicament!!
Never! And I have had offers of weird stuff as it sounds like you have...

But, she should learn and stop being insecure...
When a woman relies only on looks for her sense of security...it is sad for her indeed...
That is my point...did I beat around the bush too much with it?

You are more candid, I will give you that!
Your Friend,
Star

Hey Star,

My goodness. I have a lot to learn my friend. I do have a very hard time with folks who use sex as a means to play out some sort of mindless game. I really have no respect for making love with someone unless you are really "in love" with that person. I despise cheaters. I have like "zero" tolerance. I guess I should learn to be more understanding? My ex that I loved deeply cheated on me and left me for someone else. That has a lot to do with my feelings on this subject. Yes, you have appeared to me to be a "people pleaser". I have noticed that from reading your reply's across the message boards. I actually really like that about you. I respect you for always being the person who stays positive and wants people to move forward with their lives regardless. When I see (or read about) blatant stupidity I have to call it what it is. Yes, your points were very valid. I think I need to be more compassionate towards people. I'm sure she is is a very nice person. What I cant understand is why did an injustice not only to herself but knowingly with a couple who has plans to be married and has children? I could understand it if she was in love with this man but she wasn't even attracted to either of them? For me, that is just nasty. Sex is something special to be shared with someone that you love and trust. I dont think I have to tell you that! You feel the same way. I could have handled it better and I feel bad for not being supportive in my response.In my opinion, this is a subject that I feel very strongly about. I think I should stay away from giving my opinion to folks whom (I think) haven't been morally correct with their bodies. Yes, I have a lot to learn...(Understanding!)

Your Friend,
Heather

I can only say ooop's! What I meant to say was- I'm sure she is is a very nice person. What I cant understand is why did she do an injustice not only to herself but knowingly with a couple who has plans to be married and already has children?

Hey Girl!

My Austin, Texas Friend!

Now, don't be so hard on yourself. I can certainly understand why you would be touchier about a subject that hits close to home. I would perhaps be the same as you are about it had that happened to me...I mean where I thought the relationship was good...by the time my ex who was an alcoholic/drug user cheated on me, I didn't care! It was too late for us, by then, and obvious to me that he just didn't care enough about anything, except his own gratification, to try to seek help or change! (He also had bad pheromones by then!)

That was a hard time for me...those years. But, when I look back now...it feels like it was a whole different life! It was! His sister still would like to be my friend...but, it is hard for me...her husband used to play "footsie" with me under the table! Yuck!

I am blunt with men any more! You have to be! I ask which brain they are using and tell them straight out that the ones who function solely on their "penis-brain" mode make me sick!

I used to work with underprivileged children and as the nurse went into their homes...the self-esteem of their mothers was almost non-existent! Many had their self worth attached to their looks...that is why that is so sad to me! Looks are secondary! What really counts is who we are inside!

I have also known women who in conditions that were not so sad...even the rich and again there are many women who base their self worth in their looks...I just don't get it! I suppose the media is a big part of it!

That is why I try to build women up and encourage them to go forward...and to be stronger!

Take Care!
Star

I undersdtand, my friend. I will talk (email) again with you soon. I'm in training and dealing with yet another work situation. Please, I think we have more to say to each other but like you said. When I get the time. Your awesome Star.

Your friend,
H

I'm sorry about my spelling. My brain has been fried at work. I do have some thought's... Right now I have to learn my new position. Love ya Star.

Your friend in Austin,
H

OK...

Talk to you later...

Hope all is going well with you job!
Star

Ooops!

Your job...

Later!
Star

Love ya Star! Be back soon.

Sounds like bait but Hi Heather from Austin Live here two C-B : ]

ahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

C-B, you live in Austin?

Yepper : ] just scold back what are you ladys up to now hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa HI Heather ; ]

What to have lunch and laugh about this Heather : ] swear I don't bite hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa C-B

That could happen C.B. Do you want to meet? Let's have lunch.(?)

Ok Heather name the time and and place. I'am open anytime. just e-m me on cow_b44@yahoo.com C-B : ]

Chicken hahhaaaaaaaaaaaa : ]

Yepper's, I am a chicken! Actually, I wont go and meet anyone who is on the internet. Fear factor 10! lol

64.12, I was told the Internet can be a dangerous place if you don't know what you're doing. My mother told me NEVER to put "confidential" information in because I could get hurt. In the case of men, my best way of meeting them is through trustworthy friends.

The only way to meet is to say Hi and a hand-shake, anyway thats how I do it. : ] hahahaaaaaaaaaaaa {Chicken} P.S. C-B is a nice guy even if I have to brag about Myself. hahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Danger/Danger/Danger/ { Lost In Space } hahahhahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ; ]