Aquarius BF on skiing holiday

Hey all, my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, living together a year and a half. Our relationship is pretty easy going, we're best friends and do most things together. We're open with each other and generally just love being around one another.
However...

We've never been on a holiday just the two of us!!! We've had weekenders but always with friends and organised by other people. Lately I've been hinting and outright ASKING for a holiday like crazy (just us) - it's been noted but that's it. In the three years we've been together he's been abroad three times - the first two on business but this last one....
I don't know why but it's eating me alive!! I'm fucking livered by it! I can't say if I'm jealous or feeling left out/unloved?? I just don't know and I suppose I'm just on here looking for some insight.

Last year October his advocate and him arranged a trip to Hamburg Germany to meet up with a court witness - a meeting which should've taken him out of the country for a max of 4 days. The advocate who he's also become somewhat friendly with suggested they do this prior to his planned skiing trip in Italy so as to save flight costs etc. since he'd be in Europe over that period anyway. One discussion lead to another and as I speak my boyfriend is in Italy skiing the Alps and having a ball of a time. I hate him for it. We had huge fights about it before he left, he agreed we should have our own holiday and promised to start planning one with me, but still I'm so pissed off. He keeps in contact, sends pics and updates as to what he's doing (my blood boils when I see them but I try act nice about it because the morning he left he was in tears about saying that I'm making the trip unpleasant for him!!). We live in South Africa so you can imagine it's pretty expensive for us to go skiing in the Alps...??! He's been gone since last week Wednesday and is due back this coming Saturday. I don't know if I can stop myself from being a total bitch when he gets back! What is wrong with me—— Or what is wrong with him—??
OH AND TO TOP TODAY IS HIS BIRTHDAY!! Asked him what he'll be doing, said nothing special since he hasn't told his travel companion (the advocate).

Hey girl! Well your still with Mr. Aqua I see.

Tell my birthday buddy happy birthday for me!

Why can't you be happy for him, I mean would you really want him or any man for that fact to act like a baby and make your holiday trip unpleasant. I would hope you haven't been sitting around sulking all this time he's been gone when you could have been exploring the single life while he's gone and just doing things you always wanted to do without him. It's definitely a sign of dependence, insecurity and immaturity on your part. I mean a man shouldn't have to be in miserable tears over leaving his girlfriend at home, I bet he was so ready to get out of there away from you and I'm sure he's not looking forward to coming home.

lmao @ tiki

yeah, why aren't you enjoying your momentary freedom?

aquas are kinda....sadistic 🙂 when it comes to this type of stuff. if you want it, they won't give it to you. the more you nag, the more they won't give it to you. but when you're relaxed and have all but given up on the idea, that's when they surprise you.

in other words, he heard you the first time. don't underestimate him and he won't lose respect for you.

if you want to do something special with him, how can that be if it's forced?

be your own person. remember that you have your own life. don't lose yourself in your man, your kids, your fam or friends. when you're happy, they're happy. and when you're miserable, they're miserable....at least your aqua will be saturday

Tiki hi, nope have most certainly not being sitting around sulking - quite the contrary which he gets upset about! Fancy the cheek of that. He calls when I'm out with girlfriends and HE SULKS. Who's selfish? He's off on a wonderful holiday and jealous that I'm out for drinks catching up with my girlfriends? Sending snotty messages like, "going big tonight I see" when in actual fact I'm sitting in a bloody movie house! (we both of Blackberries so he can obviously see I'm still awake because my phone's not switched off).

Yes Tiki I probably could've been a bit happier for him (I did try honestly but the hurt of being pushed aside took over). You see, never would I arrange a holiday without even considering him. I'd at least give him the option to decline. There was no harm asking if I'd like to join him once his business meeting was done. I pay my own way - always have always will so I'm not asking for anything other than to be considered.
AND if I were to go ahead and plan an overseas trip with my girlfriends without first telling him or discussing it with him I'd come home to find my shit on the pavement! Guaranteed.

Am I really the bitch here?

As for him not wanting to come home.....I've had people in and out of the house every day since he left and haven't had the chance to actually enjoy being on my own for a while thus I feel that he could stay away a little longer. He on the other hand says he's homesick and physically sick (chest cold) and just wants to get home. Poor little diddums.

My point in all this posting is that he is selfisih and doesn't consider the people close to him - in fact he has done this entire trip with company finances and not told his father where he really is (they both own and run the company). The shit most certainly will hit the fan when the credit card statements come through with purchases in Zurich but just to reiterate.....he doesn't really give a shit what people think or how they feel.

I'm at a cross-roads and I'm waiting to see how I feel when he's back. You can judge but this trip I think, has done more damage than good.

Selfishness....get used to it, that's part of the perils of being in relationships with men that live on ME planet and a bit selfish and inconsiderate.

Even if this was a deal breaker, you will get another man and he will be selfish in other ways, sometimes you can't run from it, you have to learn how to balance your life with or without a man and be flexible as to allow a man to grow up and grow into himself and not be so focused on his fuck ups, it's his life, his fuck ups and although they can effect us if we allow them too it's really not something I would focus on. Men can be in relationships, even get married and have commitment fears and men with those kind of fears tend to be very selfish and self orientated in relationships, this goes for women as well.

I know your life is intertwined with his but you don't have to behave like your life revolves around him either. I see a lot of women say I would of have done it this way, took this and that into consideration and declined if it was me but he's not you and you can't coerce nor force a man to make you a priority in his world and when you get into a relationship sometimes you have to accept that a person will put themselves first, maybe his priorities are all messed up and he's not putting you first like you would like him to well you can't re-raise him so you either accept he's going to put himself as a priority over you which gives you the ability to do the same or you leave him but complaining and making a man miserable isn't going to be the most effective way of getting your way, it will get you dumped or at the most push a man to find other ways to create distance between the 2 of you by being narcissitic and selfish.

Aqua's hate being emotionally guilted, he will rebel

Aqua's hate being emotionally guilted, he will rebel

true, True, TRUE!

you might be able to manipulate them with tears and drama in the short term because in those moments, he just wants the tears and emotional display to STOP! so he may say anything to get you to calm down. but over time, he will resent being manipulated and he may do something drastic to regain his freedom. worst case scenario, he'll leave.

i think we're just encouraging you to avoid being upset when he returns and to be excited for him while he's on his trip. when my aries goes on his, i like that at times when he sees something beautiful, he stops, takes a pic with his phone and sends it to me. despite being worlds away and surrounded by beautiful things, at that moment, all he could think of was me 🙂

being apart doesn't have to be a miserable experience for either of you....unless you want it to be.