Aquarius-Cap-Taurus -- WTH?!

I AM:

Female
Aquarius Sun (born smack dab in the middle of of Aquarius - no escape)
Aries rising (impetuous, yes)
Mercury in Aquarius
Sagittarius moon (blunt, yes)
Jupiter in Capricorn
Saturn in Taurus
NO WATER elements in my chart at all

I feel like a walking paradox. Yes, I'm an air sign all the way, and I love to talk and write up a storm (thanks, Merc!).

But because of my Jupiter in Capricorn (love earning my keep) and Saturn in Taurus (money issues for days!), I feel like I'm so conflicted all the time.

Like part of me is a major free spirit and wants to be wild and free and carefree (maybe even a little reckless), but then there's something inside of me that keeps me rooted, grounded and tied to the earth, and it frustrates me.

I'm a workaholic to the extreme. All I ever think about is my career, and furthering it. But then I hate that I'm so addicted to it.

My relationships with people suck, and I don't care. I don't dream or think about romance and family. I think about being free, living by my own rules and making money.

People always tell me that I should lighten up and not be so career driven - even my boyfriend. I don't think I'm a good girlfriend to him, although I wish I were. But relationships aren't really important to me, so I don't put much energy in them AT ALL. Maybe because I have no siblings and I was raised solo? Or is this an Aquarian thing?

What I want to know:

How do I reconcile my opposite air (freedom)/earth (grounding) elements so I satisfy both desires and don't go insane in the process?

If there are any other air/earth folks out there, please chime in!

Aquaries: Your career is not is science is it??

No, my career isn't in science -- although I've done extensive medical research and writing at a job before and I LOVE learning about the human body in unbelievable detail. I spend hours reading health information and all sorts of useless medical stuff. Love it! I'm big-time into esoteric, metaphysical and mystical things, though.

I accept that I am an emotionally cold person, and that's fine with me. I don't believe people need "work;" I believe we're all fine as we are and need more acceptance of who we really are instead of fighting it all the dang time. Hear that, Dr. Phil?

With that said, I accept that I am equally a free spirit and equally conservative, reserved and hardworking.

I just want to find a way to blend my acceptance of each into a life style that is harmonious, instead of swinging from one side to the other, if that makes sense. I want to be both...happily.

Maybe I'm just a narcissist (shrugs).

"I just want to find a way to blend my acceptance of each into a life style that is harmonious, instead of swinging from one side to the other, if that makes sense. I want to be both...happily."

obey the thirsts.

&

stop over thinking the game.