Aquarius man breakup, chance getting back 2gether?

I'm a cancer, he's an aquarius. We started off as friends for a whole year, he always liked me but I never gave him a chance. Finally after really getting to know him and falling for him we got into a relationship. I'm his first girlfriend ever, and the first girl he's ever been in love with. Were together for almost 6 months. We broke up maybe twice before over small things but ened up reaching out to each other and getting back the same day or the day after. This time though we got into a arugment over some culture differances and I stated that we should just maybe be friends out of fustration and anger but I didn't mean it. And I think everyone is gluity of saying things out of anger. He then broke up with me and said it was "really" over this time and that for me not contact him or any of his friends because all his friends know me and think we were a good couple. He said we could be friends or friends with benfits and I said no because it would be to hard for me. I cried my eyes out, called him 3 times after that asking him was he serious, and he told me not to call him or text him anymore. He's done this before said those same things but he got back together with me. I said to myself fine, I texted him and told him he won't have to worry about me calling him or texting him. I'm not a nagging girlfriend but like I said he's done this before and I needed to know if was really serious before I go and really move on from it. Then that was it. Then randomly last night I got a phone call from him in the morning around 2am but I didn't call back because I thought to myself he told me he didn't want to talk to me and this was over so I was confused on why he was calling. So today I texted him and said "you must have accidently called me last night" he responed "sorry" and that was it. I kinda think maybe he did call to say its not over or something but he has a lot of pride and I find that random he would accidently call me at 2am when he's NEVER done that before. Anyways I'm hurt because we had something good and I think he was taking the easy way out by breaking up with me just because I said something I didn't mean that wasn't even that serious when he says things to me that he doesn't mean out of anger which are way worse. He's a cancer moon btw, I don't know if that helps or not. But I don't know what to do because this is going to be really hard cause he have all the same mutal friends, as with my other exs I didn't have to worry about seeing them.

Posted by oldskoolflavor
tell me ..
do you miss the drama or the soppy sex ?

A serious answer would be nice

Yeah I'm not going to contact him even tho I know it will be hard. He's muslim and 22 so he never had a chance to have a girlfriend because his mom is really strict on him. So yes he has liked girls before and what not but I'm the first girl that he has been with relationship wise and the first girl who's done things for him, so I'm sure no matter what he will never forget that. We just have sombe culture issues because I'm latino but I'm american and he's paki and muslim. He's very blunt and honest with his feelings sometime to the point that he doesn't realize what he's saying that hurts my feelings because I'm a very senstive person. He compared me to muslim girls sometimes and the way I dress and how I'm not muslim, so at times I felt like I wasn't good enough for him because I wasn't rasied muslim. But I never jugde him for what he believes and what he thinks is right. So when he started comparing me to how muslim women dress and how the woman he's going to marry isn't going to drink ( when he drinks like a fish and he knows I drink and we drink together but I don't drink that much only on the weekends if that ) its like okayyy well why are u with me then ? He talks a lot about getting married and what not and says if he would ask me to marry him then I would have to stop drinking ect (which I have no problem doing but he said he would never stop) and I said to him well we don't live in pakistan so I don't have to wear a hajb and cover my entire body. But then pulled the "I'm not talking about you, I'm just saying" I took it personal and maybe he wasn't directing it towards me but I felt that way, and that's why I said we should just be friends then out of anger and being upset.

That's when he broke up with me.

aquas just need a little time and space. usually far too much for most to handle. it's hard because while you want a definitive answer now, your pressing the issue only makes it worse. i say wait 2-3 weeks and reach out to him OR wait for him to contact you...he eventually will.

with that said, you take your religious differences too lightly. the fact that he's expressing doubt or contemplating what it'd mean to have a wife says he's stepping back from his feelings for you and his reality. Muslims don't separate themselves from their religion and by virtue of that, love or not, you're better off not pursuing this further. chances are, he'll come to a point where he will make a decision and there's a good chance it won't be in your favor.

I'm a cancer too ...talking with an aquarius...and boy is is hardd..i haven't talk to him in over two weeks because he gave off the impression he didn't want to be bothered...so i went about my business and did my own thing then suddenlt he calls me early this morning which he never does!! i answered and sid "I'M SLEEP!!" I know he knows he is wrong because he sounded like he was ashamed..ur saying he called u 2 am...becuse maybe he couldn't sleep knowing he was wrong and did want to talk things through wth you...you shouldn't have replied too soon...and when u said "you must've called by accident" he might of felt stupid he probally was expecting some sad sappy text from you so instead he said "sorry" maybe he was saying sorry for the whole sitation...i would just lay off for a little bit...if he cares he would set aside his prde and talk to you.I only known my aqua for 9 months we're not in a relationship because i told him i need more time to get to know him.

Posted by radar10
Yeah I'm not going to contact him even tho I know it will be hard. He's muslim and 22 so he never had a chance to have a girlfriend because his mom is really strict on him. So yes he has liked girls before and what not but I'm the first girl that he has been with relationship wise and the first girl who's done things for him, so I'm sure no matter what he will never forget that. We just have sombe culture issues because I'm latino but I'm american and he's paki and muslim. He's very blunt and honest with his feelings sometime to the point that he doesn't realize what he's saying that hurts my feelings because I'm a very senstive person. He compared me to muslim girls sometimes and the way I dress and how I'm not muslim, so at times I felt like I wasn't good enough for him because I wasn't rasied muslim. But I never jugde him for what he believes and what he thinks is right. So when he started comparing me to how muslim women dress and how the woman he's going to marry isn't going to drink ( when he drinks like a fish and he knows I drink and we drink together but I don't drink that much only on the weekends if that ) its like okayyy well why are u with me then ? He talks a lot about getting married and what not and says if he would ask me to marry him then I would have to stop drinking ect (which I have no problem doing but he said he would never stop) and I said to him well we don't live in pakistan so I don't have to wear a hajb and cover my entire body. But then pulled the "I'm not talking about you, I'm just saying" I took it personal and maybe he wasn't directing it towards me but I felt that way, and that's why I said we should just be friends then out of anger and being upset.

It's unlikely that you two will end up in marriage if he's a muslim and you aren't. He probably also will have an arranged marriage for him if not already. Love isn't enough. Granted you're the 1st experience he has but it won't guarantee much when you two are not just being seperated by tradition,culture, religion and races but also your own personal views and you both find it hard to reach a compromise without hurting one another. You can overcome it if you actually communicate abit better instead of making indirect comments and avoiding confrontations. It can work if you two don't add more stress for one another besides the externalities you guys have to face. I want to sa

(cont) say that it will be a happy ending but the fact that he's a muslim and a pakistan, he's going need a girl who can fulfill not just his expectations but also his family. You on the other hand find it difficult to change yourself completely to accomodate this guy's background without feeling like selling out yourself. Therefore it's best to take a step back to see where are you two going if you ever decide to be back together. At the moment, it seems letting go of this relationship is the best choice for your own wellbeing and his.

what they said below.

there is this aquarius man at work, who's muslim and his wife's muslim. she's a taurus sun, and i dont know his chart or anything but i notice that he takes his religion very seriously. (but he wears non muslim clothing) and i noticed that he's also very family-oriented. he doesn't judge others either for their religion choices; quite open minded about it but strictly keeps to his.
his marriage wasn't arranged though. some aquas are strict in their mindset what they want but rebel about certain things/criteria.

what the posters below said are true, about not separating from their religion, especially in that culture. (they'll make small adjustments but their 'faith' is strong) and plus, you'd want your aqua to make up his own mind freely. what is harder for your guy, is that you're his first. that'll probably tear him apart if he ever decides. don't hope too high. cherish what you have/had and try and give him alot of space. no contact.

I'm not Muslim but the thing is I always respected the religion and what they believe even before I met him cause I have some family members who are Muslim. But the thing is he's a hypocrite, he's Muslim but I think it's more to please his mother. He's been in trouble with the law and also dose hard core drugs like coke, MDMA, acid, smokes weed and drinks like a fish. Iade him stop doing the hard core drugs but he still smokes pot and drinks, but at the same time he has these high standards for a women that yet he doesn't fully make up for. So for him being so "reglious" is so bullshit to me.

Posted by radar10
I'm not Muslim but the thing is I always respected the religion and what they believe even before I met him cause I have some family members who are Muslim. But the thing is he's a hypocrite, he's Muslim but I think it's more to please his mother. He's been in trouble with the law and also dose hard core drugs like coke, MDMA, acid, smokes weed and drinks like a fish. Iade him stop doing the hard core drugs but he still smokes pot and drinks, but at the same time he has these high standards for a women that yet he doesn't fully make up for. So for him being so "reglious" is so bullshit to me.

You just proved my point. If possible, please read my previous post again for clarify. Like I said, you both hold extremely different views about life besides religion and that's what kill your relationship. You can feel all angry, upset about what a hypocrite he is or how love can overcome every thing or you show enough care and respect for his religion and background already, why doesn't he show you the same courtesy? etc... However, it won't change his mind and in fact, he can turn around and accuse you many other things too like you mentioned. My point is you think he's not that great and he thinks you might not be the best deal either so why continue? If you say it's because of love then why don't you take sometimes to think it through before insisting on hurting yourself and him further especially when both are emotional at the moment? Why don't you try to use this time to make sure you are calm enough to see if it's true that you can do things the way he wants or forever you will find it hard to comply and he's such a hypocrite as you do now? With this mind set about your man like this and he's at the moment about you, do you think if you guys continue to be together, how long it will last? Or in the long term, it's even worse? The love will be gone and all left is resentment and anger? Sometimes, break-up is a blessing in disguise because at least at some point in your life, you can look back with a smile to think about the love you used to have rather than the negative emotion you have.
Take a step back , breathe deep and see what is going on.

waterboy you need to do a little more research on aquarius man/cancer woman. in history, these two are some of the greatest love stories/great loves. i dont know why. and the aquarius man stays loyal and faithful because she gives him something that no other woman can be able to give and she in return gets something she needs to fulfill her. even astrologers can't figure it out, even if they've been studying 30 plus years astrology. astrologers can analyze, go into putting the puzzles together but they can never get inside someone's heart and head, never.

anyway not trying to give hope to the OP. she really needs to step back and forget the fact that he drinks and doesn't follow the rules of the religion. alot of people do that in real life, no matter the religion. muslim religion is very strict and men usually have a little more room to play than women in general. he probably feels deeply guilty for doing it when you mention it to him. you speak your mind and that's very good.

Posted by WaterBoy
@lisabethur8: no offense, but I don't buy this whole Aquarius man/ cancer woman thing. If anything i am sure Aquarius man is the worst possible match for a cancer woman. Cancer woman would be better off with a Libra man than with an Aquarius man and none of them are really a match with other earth/water signs. Just sayin.

your opinion. 🙂

you still have lots of time and experience to enjoy for the rest of your life.

Pretty much to address what everyone is saying. Im a very traditional woman, and besides some of the crazy things he does he's very traditional too unlike any of my ex boyfriends. We have a lot in common, down the way we eat, what we believe, what we like ect. It was almost freaky that he would pretty much finish my sentence. That's what made me fall for him because we were so much a like and we started off as friends. And for the that is muslim, all of the girls two women he was with before me sexually were not muslim, in fact they were both african american women, american. He's never been with his own kind, and he stated to me that he doesn't even like his own kind of people and that he would never marry a paki woman. His mom is very strict on him with religion, and his whole life he's kinda been a rebel, he wants to live up to what his mother wants him to be, but he can't because he wants to drink, and have sex before marriage, have a girlfriend, stay out late ect. I gave him a reason to want to be a better person, and he did the same for me. We both helped each other out in a lot of ways, and he was like my best friend. I gave him things and shown him things no other woman has gave or shown him and he told me he will always love me forever for that. Because at the end of the day is and honest and genuine person and he will always be honest on how he feels. It took him awhile to open up to me because he problems expressing his emotions, he never had a girlfriend or a relationship so there were couple of issues that I had to help with because this relationship thing was new to him, but with time he opened up to me about his life, cried like a baby in front of me many times. His moon is in a cancer, and I think that strongly reflects on how he is as a person, even though his sun in aquarius he still has a strong cancer influence because hes very very very sensitive and emotional and has a hard time letting things go. He will hold on to past events more worse then I will, it seems as if he almost clings to the past more then myself. But at the same time when we have had fights, he wouldnt call or text me for a few days because he has a lot of pride and doesn't want to seem like hes missing me like crazy when he really does and he has admit himself. I personally never had any issue with him being muslim or converting, because if I did its my personal choice. It's just driving me crazy that we haven't talked for almost 3 days.

It's just hard because I want to reach out to him but I don't want to annoy him. It's crazy because we have all the same friends and he lives 4 mins away from me, so it's not going to be easy just seeing him and knowing everything we been through but not speaking. I would at least like to be friends with him, he doesn't have to be in my life as a romantic relationship but I rather have him in my life as a friend vs nothing at all. And all the things his given me that I wake up and look at everyday its almost impossible not to think about him. Im hoping with time he will come around and speak to me. But Im not going to force it. I hear aquas need their space and if i bother him I don't want to upset him even more. I just feel for me I need some closure.

If he doesn't want to give you a closure, just do it yourself so you don't have to cling on vain hope anymore. I believe in you. From what you said, I think you're a resaonable person with strong character. Don't let this man drag you down to his level.

*resonable*

Posted by radar10
But the thing is he's a hypocrite, he's Muslim but I think it's more to please his mother. He's been in trouble with the law and also dose hard core drugs like coke, MDMA, acid, smokes weed and drinks like a fish.

He's not a hypocrite. He is 22. To be Muslim in America is not easy. He is religious he just doesn't know it yet. Right now his faith may not seem like a big deal but as he gets older and matures so will his beliefs, morals and values. Having a family member that is Muslim and being Muslim are 2 distinct things. What will you do during Ramadan when you are hungry and he is fasting? Will you eat in the bathroom? It would be disrespectful to eat in his face. What are you going to do when you are somewhere and he needs to leave because he has has missed his afternoon prayers? Are you going to be okay with that? What about oral and or anal sex? What about alcohol? That's not going to happen. While it may be happening now, once he commits to living the life of a Muslim there will be no more of that.

Being Muslim is not something you become to keep a man. The same would hold true for any religion whether it be Catholic, Jewish or Jevohah's Witness.

There's so much I wish I could tell you about life but I think learning for yourself ironically is what life is all about.

Yes, he will comeback as you will learn...they all comeback. He will not stay. He can't. If his mother is as strict as you say, he would be shunned.

Love him but also love him enough to let him go.

Posted by Nala13

Posted by radar10

click to expand

Your insight was very helpful and made me think about of lot of things. Being Muslim ( well more so living up to his mothers expectations) is hard for him. I consider him to be religious but not that religious, I think if anything he just wants to make his mother happy. From what he tells me and what I see, he doesn't really know much of being a muslim is. He was at one point atheist for many years, then he went from being that to christian to maybe a yr ago back to muslim. His parents got a divorce when he was 12 because his farther was sleeping with many women cheating on his mother, both they both remarried, from which my understanding and what he has told very bad to happen when you are muslim and that's its looked down on very greatly. He never really experienced love his live from his farther, friends, family, or girls even because he has a strong very cold personality, not because he is that way but he because he feels he has to be or people will take advantage of him. I came in his life and took the time out to get to know him, deal with his mood wings, and look deeper then anybody else, and thats what made him fall in love with me, and by him showing me the "real" him, besides the drugs and whats happened to him in his past I fell to love him and look at him more then just a friend. As far as me converting, I faithfully believe a 100% in the muslim religion. And it has nothing to do with him being muslim or not, I have always felt that way, I just never pictured myself being with a muslim or even falling for one but it happened. He leaves to pray and sometimes Im in the same room with him as he does it and it doesnt bother me, I find it quite beautiful and want to learn myself with time. The only thing I can say is that I don't know the future. I know his mother is very strict and she will probly want him to marry a muslim girl, but right now im not thinking of getting married. And when the time is right if it happens and If I'm still with him and I do decide to convert one day then I guess we can go from there. I believe that if mother knows Im a good wholesome woman who loves her son then I wish to her blessings. If not then yes it will break my heart but I will love him enough to let him go, in my head Im already prepared for that. For now

Posted by exam
If he doesn't want to give you a closure, just do it yourself so you don't have to cling on vain hope anymore. I believe in you. From what you said, I think you're a resaonable person with strong character. Don't let this man drag you down to his level.

For me I felt like what he did was out of spite to anger me to prove a point to me. We talked yesterday because I needed some closure, I needed to just express how I felt. I called him to talk and he agreed to talk to me but he told me no matter what he had no intentions on getting back with me and that it was just over and I needed to accept it, but he would still talk. I of course was hurt because a small part of me wanted him to say we could get back together, but while I had time to think about it at work, I suddenly became happy, because I know Im a good catch and I tired all my might to make it work and if he was over and done, I can't force someone to be with me, I have to love them and let them go. So when I spoke to him after work I was confident in myself, I felt wonderful and at a good place. Once we started talking to I told him I respect what he wants and I'll be more then happy to be his friend and Im finally okay with us breaking up being single and he saw on my face I was good. But once I said that, he from saying it wasn't going to work, to "i want to be with you, we can try this again" I was shocked but we talked about it more and we agreed to give it one last shot, and if it fails then its over. But he has a lot of anger issues, not like crazy, but he's very sensitive and he expresses it in a very different way.

My aqua ex would do the same thing. Just ignore him for real, no calls no texts. Most likely he'll come back BUT ask yourself during this time if you even want him back? After 8mo of this kind of drama i finally decided enough was enough and even after he pursued me relentlessly...but its really not worth it with all the mind games IMO.