capricorn woman (25) ~ aquarius man (42)

I've been seeing a guy for just over a year. We both decided to take things really slowly at the start as we stay in two different cities over 5 hours away and he was hurt very badly when he's marriage ended 8 years ago and still to this day has issues that he has from then, which has stopped him being involved with other women (as far as i know there was 4) before i came along. He made it clear that he just wasn't interested in them.

It's not exactly been plain sailing, we've certainly had our ups and downs (especially with his aloofness, being distant at times and even blatantly ignoring) along the way which we're both to blame for (as i haven't really handled things very well with his behaviour) plus we've only spent a week together in the last year. We both have insecurities and fears for many different reasons, he's extremely scared of change. But we both seem to hang on in there i think, i'm hanging on in there, i'm not too sure if he is hanging on in there or not, or just playing along with me so to speak

As times went by i've now developed very strong feelings and emotions with this man, it's now become quite obvious that a serious chat is needed and i think he knows it too, problem is he is very guarded with his feelings and emotions and can sometimes feel quite uncomfortable when opening up with me and tends to avoid it when he senses i'd like a chat with him. Without realising i've been holding back and have not being myself with him and have have caused some of the problems we've had because i've held back as well, what's that saying two wrongs don't make a right, well that's what i'm not trying to do, sort the problems i've unknowing caused and sort situation out between the two of us.

I suppose the questions i'm asking are ....

How is he going to feel if i pin point him down to having a serious chat and finding out what we're doing and where we're going?

How will he feel if i open up and tell me about all my thoughts and feelings regarding him?

How to approach things.. do guy's really hate having those serious chats with us women, how honest and how much are they willing to open up?

I've read somewhere that guy's will think your.. needy.. clingy and desperate for opening up and revealing your feelings and emotions... thing is i'm none of them just someone who'd love to truly know where this is going and where i finally stand with him

Any advice will be very much appreciated!!!

Weird! You sound just like Brooks101 .She was asking about Aqua man too. She said she is about 30 and the guy is about 50.They both also are involved over a year. The questions she asked are so similar to yours. Her posts are hidden now but I can still read some of them where people quoted her posts.Whether you're her or not, it'd be good to read all the replies over there because there are many good advices there. Please don't ignore them and stubbornly hit your head against the big stone.I've read many stories here about women who are involved with the type of Aqua you're involved with right now and they always doesn't end well.You think you can wait. You think you gave the patience.You think you can change him. They're all misconceptions. For 8 years he hasn't done the changes himself. Now you're already with him for a year and nothing changed, do you really think that miracles just happen? Based on my personal experience, some Aquas might be abit distance and sometimes withdraw temporarily in the beginning to evaluate their feeling. Once the process is done however , they will do alot for the ones they truly love and appreciate.They're fixed sign for a reason.If his actions and his words are contradicting, you must know by now that you aren't precious in his eyes like he claims.In fact, he's just stringing you along till better options turn up because right now you're the best option. However, you aren't the only and final choice.