Disgruntled Aquarian...

I haven't posted in a while because I've had nothing to complain about. Since end Dec we've been living together - practically in bliss. But recently my Aqua discovered that one of his employees, who is also a long standing good friend has been messing around at the office, not doing what he's paid to do and basically misusing the company's money. My Aqua went through a week of hell last week making up his mind to fire the guy. He never slept at night and was just generally quite snappy. He spoke about it extensively with me and I guess I helped him come to his decision. So Tuesday he fired the guy and it's since turned pretty messy.
He wants to talk to me about it (like 24/7 but anyway that's what partners are for) but I've noticed how agressive he's got and how short tempered. Example; we were playing scrabble the other night and he was losing, so he threw the Z tile across the table (the one that would cost him big points if he couldn't get rid of it). Very unlike him because generally he's not a bad loser.
Then in the second breath he climbs into bed and wants to be tickled like an 8 year old so that he can fall asleep.
I don't know how to explain this....bear with me. Basically I know this is working on him badly, he's hurt and feels betrayed. He wants me to listen to him and how he feels but the minute I become too involved he withdraws - almost like I must listen, give practical advise but without getting emotional about it. Also he seems to be taking it out on me a little....or is it just that I feel it the most living with him—
He told me over the phone today that he's going out drinking this evening with a guy friend, he needs a few drinks and that he's going on his own (basically that I'm not invited to join - unusual because he insists on me being dragged around with the boys all the time - even when I'd rather he went on his own).
I don't understand because when I have a problem it's him I want to just be alone with...I don't want him away from me so that I can rather be with my girlfriends - if he's unavailable then yes my girlfriends will suffice but he's always my first choice of confident—?
So why doesn't he want to be around me in this difficult time of his?
I support everything he's done and encouraged to do what he had to do—?

Some insight because I feel a little rejected at the moment??

well, as fire sign, I know it's hard to listen to someone and not attempt to personalse advise... this is good becuase fire will give a refreshed view not bugged down by history or what people think, etc...

The issue now is, remember the person's final choice is up to them, people generally don't follow other people's advice, least of all guys. Note when you're getting personal as the other person may think you're feeling for them, which is the opposite really, and when they hit you by pulling away, it's a bit surprising.

but I find with air signs in particular, a 'yes dear' is often better when they complain, because it's mostly logical talk, if they sense you going emotional before they have analysed how they feel about it themselves, they will withdraw. But it gets to the point where you have to not be so available yourself. Everyone's like that, if you help someone with pity party, at the end of the day, it doesn't help them, just further drags them into the pity well. Seems it's time for him to snap out of it, but never forget, it is NOT your problem to deal with ultimately, it is his. If you get too involved, it becomes your problem too >>> that has already happened but seems you can't help him out really.

Feeling rejected is maybe a valid feeling but it takes the focus to you when really, your life is ok so why feel bad? his moodiness has rubbed off on you, his logic and your logic has probably helped him with all possible options, it's time to inject OPTIMISM, that way he laughs, you laugh *shrugs* fire signs don't stand dark situations for long, it puts out the fire, we're zodiac cheerleaders - remember that when you're tempted to psycho-analyse, think about the good you'll be doing in the long run for the OTHER person... it has nothing to do with you

He just need some time away I suppose.
You said you both have discussed the issue extensively, maybe he senses your getting a little tired of it and him and he's giving you a break.

Take it.

^ mmm, that's a good point M...

but it's not like she wants the break it seems... if that's the case, he could discuss it as it is a case of what I want versus what you want? not likely to discuss though... then if she asks him, she seems demanding... meh. Eitherway, she's got to detach herself from his issue and not let it run her too. May not help the rejection she's feeling but will make for maybe more balanced atmosphere...

ugh, jeez

I hate relationships. I believe a relationship can only work in the truest sense of the word if both people are selfless and psychic.

The End.

^ha, you're telling... you gotta note details or you've messed up somehow --- whole thing's nuts! I can't even remember what I had for brekkie this morning 😕

That would be the ideal LadyM as humans are selfish and non monogamous. The way I see an ideal relationship bf/gf is the one which has the best compromise/peace ratio for both sides. And back to the topic I'll make a guess and say that for some reason he doesn't like having to fire this guy and at the same time does not want to bring that into the relationship until it's out of his system. Never had to fire someone but whenever I had to break up with a friend it was one of the moments I hated the most but wanted to still be in good mood with my gf. This is one moment I seemed obviously weird !

I can relate to this. If I remember correctly, your Aqua started this company? Anyways, he was betrayed by a good friend whom he trusted. It seems your Aqua was in a bind and was forced to choose between friendship or business. As far as the aggressivness goes, I would chalk that up to anger not necessarily towards you, but towards the situation itself and all of the unpleasant feelings it stirs up in him, which is why he wants you to tickle him, so he will feel something OTHER than anxiety and an overwhelming feeling of ickyness. It helps him to calm down.

As far as withdrawing, he knows that if he keeps talking about it over and over, eventually he will bring you down, and I don't think he wants to be responsible for that, so he maintains his distance. I would not take it personally, look at it this way..... he views you as the one to kiss the "boo boo" and make it better 🙂

"well, as fire sign, I know it's hard to listen to someone and not attempt to personalse advise... this is good becuase fire will give a refreshed view not bugged down by history or what people think, etc..."


Oh man.....I do that alot. I personalize everything. I think its because my Mercury and Mars are in Sag, and my moon is Aries :/

Somechick I think now that you might've been most accurate here...

I posted the above last week Thursday...after posting I gave him a chit chat call and he was rather blunt, kind of as to say, well why are you phoning me?

I got pee'd off so when he got home I kind of ignored him. Never made dinner just sat reading a book when he walked in the door....I can be rather catty when I'm pissed off. So he buggers off outside for a while, comes back and asks why I'm in a mood?
I told him he was rude over the phone..that he complains because I never phone him, he always has to phone me but when I do he's off. Told him I wouldn't bother phoning him again unless I was in an emergency. This led from one thing to another until he eventually accussed me of putting him in a bad mood so that he either won't go out with his mates for a drink (he mentioned earlier that Thursday that he'd really just like to meet some guy friends and have a few drinks after all the crap at work) or he won't enjoy it and that I'm manipulative and doing it on purpose because I don't want him to go out...truth is I'd already got myself a chick flick rental and was quite looking forward to spending the night doing "me" things.
So we had a bit of row...said a couple of nasty things in anger and when it all cooled down he asked if I'd like to join him at the neighbours for a drink. I obviously declined and went to bed in a temper.
Woke up the next morning and ignored him flat. Sent him a message during the day saying that I think we both need a little breather and that I'd be going to home (to my family) for the evening.
Well he didn't like this....said that he wanted his time the night before would've liked to have spent the evening with me and that it's too late for a breather since he actually wanted it the night before.
I ignored this.
On my way home to go pack, he phoned about 4 times in half an hour with stupid little things, but obviously fishing to see where I was and whether I was still going home to pack or already on my way to my family?
I got home and he gave me what he called a "half apology" and told me that he felt I owed him the other half of the apology...I eventualy ended up not going to my family (turns out they weren't home anyway!) and we had probably the best weekend we've had in a long time...did things that really pulled us closer, he was loving all weekend, sweet and just perfect. It almost felt like we "needed" the fight to get things back on track

- sounds a bit twisted I know..but ja.
We tried not speak too much about the situation with the friend come employee because during our fight on the Thursday eve he told me that he didn't feel I could handle his problems and that he have to consider what he lets me in on in the future — I was pretty insulted because I??ve done nothing but freaking support him, research labour laws on the net for him, listen to him rant and rave??_.
So after not mentioning it too much (oh and he mentioned that sometimes we talk about it just too much..??) over the weekend Monday he meets with the guy and phones me every two minutes to discuss the update on their meeting and what decisions they??ve come to about the stolen money, asking for advice etc. etc. etc. They eventually came to an amicable agreement whereby the guy will just resign and signed an agreement to pay the money back — so everyone walks away feeling a little better.
He got home last night in the best mood I??ve seen him in, in a while — obviously because things have finally been closed with regards the friend/employee. Told me that the only reason he kept me updated all day was because he??d already pulled me in so far he felt I should hear the rest and we then proceeded to have a few fun, romantic evening together. Got to bed at 2am after playing a round of strip scrabble (he's latest version of the good ol?? fashioned Scrabble game!) and things feel fine again.
Oh and to top??_he's left me alone all day!!! I haven't had a single call today??_a few short little messages updating me on silly things like the degree of traffic he drove through his morning and checking that I got to work ok and that's it!!!!!!!!!!
I got a break??_