End of the Road?

Hey all, there's been quite a few things running through my head these past months and involves an aqua that I've known for over 20 years of my life.

I'm a Sagittarius if it means anything but the man in question is born 23rd of January 1985. We were involved when we were much younger. We met each other in highschool and got together when we were 17 which lasted all of 6 years until we broke up and by that I mean I cheated on him.

For the year after he kept trying to come back in my life and as much as I didn't want to I ended up hurting him again. We kept a year apart until he reached out again and we've been friends ever since... until quite recently. And no we don't like each other in that way anymore.

Over the years we've both gone our separate ways but I still consider him my best friend as we grew up together, no one understands me more completely than him and that's speaking from someone who's married happily. He's battled with depression all his life and even now and he's helped me with my own when I developed it from anxiety a few years ago. In short he's probably been that rock throughout my life.

Probably around a year ago he started speaking to me less and less. He use to talk to be about his depression in a joking way but I know that's his way of letting steam off because I know he's the type of person to not talk about his feelings at all. It makes me feel really inadequate because he's very intuitive and knows what to do and say to make me and anyone around him feel better.

Few months ago I prodded at this behaviour but he said he was fine and just didn't have time to talk as much as he use to. Outwardly he hasn't changed, still shows up to parties and events and unwillingly becoming centre of attention with his usual chilled laid back sense of humour and grand entrances, social butterfly and all but he just wasn't talking with me as much as I'm use to. Feelings of neglect from me perhaps?

I think I may have pushed it that night when I confronted him and asked him why he was being more distant than usual. He just does his smile and replies casually that he just doesn't trust me anymore. He asked me not to push further because he'd rather not get into the details as to why and reassures me he still loves me all the same.

Still after that our contact has been less and less and I can't help but feel like I've done something wrong and any attempt to bring up the question will just lead to him completely misdirecting it or ignoring it.

I've been reading some of the threads here but I've known this guy for so long now... I know our lives are different now but I just can't stand this silence from him.

Help! What is going through this brain of his. I'll be the first to admit that even knowing him this long I still can't figure him out.

Posted by psybelle
Hey all, there's been quite a few things running through my head these past months and involves an aqua that I've known for over 20 years of my life.

I'm a Sagittarius if it means anything but the man in question is born 23rd of January 1985. We were involved when we were much younger. We met each other in highschool and got together when we were 17 which lasted all of 6 years until we broke up and by that I mean I cheated on him.

For the year after he kept trying to come back in my life and as much as I didn't want to I ended up hurting him again. We kept a year apart until he reached out again and we've been friends ever since... until quite recently. And no we don't like each other in that way anymore.

Over the years we've both gone our separate ways but I still consider him my best friend as we grew up together, no one understands me more completely than him and that's speaking from someone who's married happily. He's battled with depression all his life and even now and he's helped me with my own when I developed it from anxiety a few years ago. In short he's probably been that rock throughout my life.

Probably around a year ago he started speaking to me less and less. He use to talk to be about his depression in a joking way but I know that's his way of letting steam off because I know he's the type of person to not talk about his feelings at all. It makes me feel really inadequate because he's very intuitive and knows what to do and say to make me and anyone around him feel better.

Few months ago I prodded at this behaviour but he said he was fine and just didn't have time to talk as much as he use to. Outwardly he hasn't changed, still shows up to parties and events and unwillingly becoming centre of attention with his usual chilled laid back sense of humour and grand entrances, social butterfly and all but he just wasn't talking with me as much as I'm use to. Feelings of neglect from me perhaps?

I think I may have pushed it that night when I confronted him and asked him why he was being more distant than usual. He just does his smile and replies casually that he just doesn't trust me anymore. He asked me not to push further because he'd rather not get into the details as to why and reassures me he still loves me all the same.

Still after that our contact has been less and less and I can't help but feel like I've done something wrong and any attempt to bring up the question will just lead to him completely misdirecting it or ignoring it.

I've been reading some of the threads here but I've known this guy for so long now... I know our lives are different now but I just can't stand this silence from him.

Help! What is going through this brain of his. I'll be the first to admit that even knowing him this long I still can't figure him out.

Are you married to someone else?

Why do you care about him so much?

Moved on from what? When we reconnected that was almost over 8 years ago. We were both seeing other people at the time.

I apologised to him but he said it just doesn't matter anymore. He's always been very vocal when he feels mistreated before I just don't understand why now he's being silent.

Hey TheGreatSearcher!

I care about him so much because he's my best friend, I consider him family. He's always been there for me even when I gave him the shit treatment as well so why would I not want to show him too that he can't just push me away like he has done with so many people in the past.

@psybelle

My aqua friend has the same birthday! You better not be that girl that scarred him for life hahaha!

He's a lot like what you described. I'd say he's selective and I'll always remember what he told me about his 3 strike system.

I quote "I have this weird thing where I give people 3 chances and only 3 chances".

Preeeeetty sure that was his way of saying I struck out but he's still around and he hasn't really changed. So I guess my advice will come from another friend of ours is that maybe your aqua friend knows how sharp and piercing his words can be and he chooses not to verbally berate you because he cares about enough that he'd rather just ignore it and forget it.

Maybe think back to when it started and perhaps something happened a year ago?

Hey Libhel,

Nothing that I can remember, he started seeing his current partner a year ago. I may have said she wasn't a good match for him and he got a bit sulky! It's not like what I say would stop him though. Other than that it was a really rough period for him at work but that's all I remember. My friend does sound similar to yours and 3 chances system sounds like something he would do but I feel like I would've struck out as well a long time ago.

Does your friend also just pretends everything's okay when it's clearly not?

Posted by psybelle
Does your friend also just pretends everything's okay when it's clearly not?

I remember my first time on DXP I posted a very similar thread asking the same question so that's a yes.

Not too sure how much you know about Astrology but their placements aren't exactly the best when it comes to handling negative emotions and stubbornness to talk about it.

I usually just tell him I do care and I'm here whenever or just ask him out to do something fun and eventually (even as late as 3 months later) he'll say sorry about what's been happening and explain it all in detail. He's just not very good at expressing said emotions in words and trying to open him up just forces him further away.

Mine's with a Leo now and whatever voodoo magic she works on him I want some of that. I'll just chalk it up to his pisces bits and being in love and blind in love that he shares all his darkest secrets without a second thought. Pfft.

And look, you've known him for 20 years as you said. I've known mine for less than 5. Mine can't hold down a friend let alone a girlfriend. He's a drifter... if you've caught yours maybe you should just be you and not worry so much about it.

Thankyou so much for the vote of confidence! 🙂

Mine's also a drifter as you put it and I think he's my longest friend and me being his. I guess I just don't like this feeling of inadequacy and not being able to understand what he's going through.

Are you able to tell me what you mean by pisces bits?