cap1225
@cap1225
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 6 · Topics: 2
FAKE AZZ AQUA FRIEND....jus venting
an Aqua's anger is usually short-lived. Just wait a few days and he'll be contacting you.
Don't shag him again though, it's a disaster zone unless you're officially in a relationship with an Aqua - as in friends-with-benefits remain that way.
Don't shag him again though, it's a disaster zone unless you're officially in a relationship with an Aqua - as in friends-with-benefits remain that way.
Well you're absolutely RIGHT in that you shouldn't feel bad or become the villian when HE was the one who lied and/or didn't tell you the WHOLE truth. He may try to pull the "You misread this/misunderstood that" card, BUT I'm sure he knows that if the tables were turned & that if he stumbled across the same thing about you, HE'D probably walk away assuming the very SAME thing you walked away assuming: SOMEBODY LIED! So you're right in not letting him become the victim as his way of flipping the script. If what you saw wasn't really what it appeared to be/looked like, he could've just reminded you of the facts & let it be up to YOU to believe him or not. Him flipping the script was unnecessary & shouldn't have happened, especially if HE was in the wrong.
2. Yes Aquas generally are very loyal in friendships, BUT they are ALSO very determined NOT to feel bad either when someone they DON'T have a relationship title with, holds them to the same expectation as a "boyfriend" when really, he's ONLY just a "friend." B/c he's NOT your man, the part about Aquas being 100% honest/loyal doesn't necessarily apply. He's NOT your man, thus even though he was wrong for lying, he WON'T/CAN'T technically process guilt in the same way he would perhaps you were his GIRLFRIEND & lied to you. More than anything, remember he's a MAN 1st; and some men will "have their cake & eat it too" if you allow them too; they'll play the field if they CAN. They'll use the "well technically we're NOT together" line as a means of justifying why they DON'T OWE you the same respect/loyalty the way they would persay they were OFFICIALLY WITH YOU.
3. Let him come back to you. And when he does (b/c he WILL), don't let him off the hook about lying. I'm assuming that you NOT only want an honest boyfriend but that you ALSO want an honest friend too. I'm not saying you should badger him too death about it, BUT make sure HE knows that you DON'T appreciate the dishonesty & that it WON'T be tolerated.
4. Remember that Aquas can be EXTREMELY manipulative. They are VERY convincing & have a way of verbally & mentally ASSASSINATING others who dare to expose them or betray them. We have a "way with our words" so much so that even when WE'RE in the 1 in the wrong, we can FLIP it to make the other person feel the guilt/pain. And it's b/c Aquas can't stand giving someone else the same feeling of betrayal since that's the 1 feeling/thing we Aquas FEAR most that others could give/do to us!
2. Yes Aquas generally are very loyal in friendships, BUT they are ALSO very determined NOT to feel bad either when someone they DON'T have a relationship title with, holds them to the same expectation as a "boyfriend" when really, he's ONLY just a "friend." B/c he's NOT your man, the part about Aquas being 100% honest/loyal doesn't necessarily apply. He's NOT your man, thus even though he was wrong for lying, he WON'T/CAN'T technically process guilt in the same way he would perhaps you were his GIRLFRIEND & lied to you. More than anything, remember he's a MAN 1st; and some men will "have their cake & eat it too" if you allow them too; they'll play the field if they CAN. They'll use the "well technically we're NOT together" line as a means of justifying why they DON'T OWE you the same respect/loyalty the way they would persay they were OFFICIALLY WITH YOU.
3. Let him come back to you. And when he does (b/c he WILL), don't let him off the hook about lying. I'm assuming that you NOT only want an honest boyfriend but that you ALSO want an honest friend too. I'm not saying you should badger him too death about it, BUT make sure HE knows that you DON'T appreciate the dishonesty & that it WON'T be tolerated.
4. Remember that Aquas can be EXTREMELY manipulative. They are VERY convincing & have a way of verbally & mentally ASSASSINATING others who dare to expose them or betray them. We have a "way with our words" so much so that even when WE'RE in the 1 in the wrong, we can FLIP it to make the other person feel the guilt/pain. And it's b/c Aquas can't stand giving someone else the same feeling of betrayal since that's the 1 feeling/thing we Aquas FEAR most that others could give/do to us!
Here's what I'd recommend b/c trust me honey, women get themselves in these kinds of situations ALL the time. This has nothing to do with him being an Aqua. This has more to do with HIM as a man/person being given benefits/time/energy even if they weren't deserved OR met with a "title" as the reward.
1. Stop giving him so much. A man can promise you a "bright future" all day long BUT if his ACTIONS don't support what he's saying, then his words are MEANINGLESS. Instead of giving him you're ALL like you would a boyfriend, do YOUR part in making sure that YOU'RE doing/being "platonic." And if that means that you gotta stop having sex with him, spending all your time/energy with him, then so be it! It's alot better than giving it all, only to feel like crap when you realize that someone was MILKING you for everything you've got! If you want him to be exclusive with you, you have EVERY RIGHT to want that from him, BUT don't fool yourself into thinking that if you give it all, he'll "naturally" want to commit to you. If a man can have it all w/o the commitment, he's NOT necessarily a monster for taking what YOU give him w/o the commitment. YOU have some of the responsibility too.
2. Now that you know he's dibbling & dabbling b/w you & another woman, do YOUR part & cut your emotions for him off as best as you can. You canNOT control him & his actions behind closed doors BUT you CAN CONTROL how much of an affect/control/power he has over your emotions. Don't offer him exclusiveness if he's NOT offering you the same in return, in your face OR behind closed doors.
3. Give him what he's giving you. LITERALLY. If he's talking to other women, you'd be a fool to dedicate all of your heart/time to him ONLY. And if it's okay for HIM to play the field, THEN he won't have an argument or reason/excuse to be upset with you if he catches you doing the same things. If you give/offer him exactly what he's giving/offering you, 1. If he doesn't like it, TRUST ME, he'll commit to you & 2. You'll never have to worry about investing more than he is & feeling like a fool!
4. STOP expecting so much. When you stop expecting certain things, you WON'T be as upset/disappointed when he doesn't do/say certain things. If you start EXPECTING him to act like a man whose technically SINGLE, it WON'T bother you when you stumble across pictures of him with other women--him acting like he's single! Learn how to change/tweak what you expect from him/others.
1. Stop giving him so much. A man can promise you a "bright future" all day long BUT if his ACTIONS don't support what he's saying, then his words are MEANINGLESS. Instead of giving him you're ALL like you would a boyfriend, do YOUR part in making sure that YOU'RE doing/being "platonic." And if that means that you gotta stop having sex with him, spending all your time/energy with him, then so be it! It's alot better than giving it all, only to feel like crap when you realize that someone was MILKING you for everything you've got! If you want him to be exclusive with you, you have EVERY RIGHT to want that from him, BUT don't fool yourself into thinking that if you give it all, he'll "naturally" want to commit to you. If a man can have it all w/o the commitment, he's NOT necessarily a monster for taking what YOU give him w/o the commitment. YOU have some of the responsibility too.
2. Now that you know he's dibbling & dabbling b/w you & another woman, do YOUR part & cut your emotions for him off as best as you can. You canNOT control him & his actions behind closed doors BUT you CAN CONTROL how much of an affect/control/power he has over your emotions. Don't offer him exclusiveness if he's NOT offering you the same in return, in your face OR behind closed doors.
3. Give him what he's giving you. LITERALLY. If he's talking to other women, you'd be a fool to dedicate all of your heart/time to him ONLY. And if it's okay for HIM to play the field, THEN he won't have an argument or reason/excuse to be upset with you if he catches you doing the same things. If you give/offer him exactly what he's giving/offering you, 1. If he doesn't like it, TRUST ME, he'll commit to you & 2. You'll never have to worry about investing more than he is & feeling like a fool!
4. STOP expecting so much. When you stop expecting certain things, you WON'T be as upset/disappointed when he doesn't do/say certain things. If you start EXPECTING him to act like a man whose technically SINGLE, it WON'T bother you when you stumble across pictures of him with other women--him acting like he's single! Learn how to change/tweak what you expect from him/others.
Thanks for the advice but I actually did had my other friends and then he wants to talk about emotions being involved now I know was game. But things actually went from worst to ugly last week.
Let me quickly explain. I told him a secret that I heard about him through a co worker of ours. Now at the time I wasnt that cool with my friend who told me and no one knows that him and I were dealing with each other in that way. So when I heard the rumor being a REAL friend I told him. But I didnt want to tell him who told me started it. Ok so after he begged and pleaded with me and mention the we are closer than anything to hold secrets from each other...I told him that my friend was told this by another on of my colleagues.. I hope you following this lol..
Ok so weeks go by and just the other day my friend mentions it saying that the person who orignally said the rumor asked her if she said anything bcuz he asked her about it. I jus stood there bcuz Im the only one whom she probably told...embarrassed. So even though my old friend and I are not speaking I still approach him alone and asked him why he said that being as though we not cool anymore I still wouldnt betray him and talk about it. His only defense was that it was awhile ago and I should get over it. So when that pissed me off I told him it didnt matter how long ago a promise is a promise FRIEND. Then he wants to go all into the stop texting me and mentioning old stuff, and that he wouldnt sound so mean if I would do what he asked. So after that I said your words are too worthless to hurt me.. So his low comback was that he sees why my child's dad left which he doesnt even know the whole story to...
I said all that to conclude that I am truly hurt but I am keepin my distance. Im still in shock that this was the same person that promised me no matter what our friendship would always be strong. But apparently not. Now I cant face him and have no words for him either. Its like he made me an enemy and my only intention in this whole matter was just to have a cool friend. That's it
Let me quickly explain. I told him a secret that I heard about him through a co worker of ours. Now at the time I wasnt that cool with my friend who told me and no one knows that him and I were dealing with each other in that way. So when I heard the rumor being a REAL friend I told him. But I didnt want to tell him who told me started it. Ok so after he begged and pleaded with me and mention the we are closer than anything to hold secrets from each other...I told him that my friend was told this by another on of my colleagues.. I hope you following this lol..
Ok so weeks go by and just the other day my friend mentions it saying that the person who orignally said the rumor asked her if she said anything bcuz he asked her about it. I jus stood there bcuz Im the only one whom she probably told...embarrassed. So even though my old friend and I are not speaking I still approach him alone and asked him why he said that being as though we not cool anymore I still wouldnt betray him and talk about it. His only defense was that it was awhile ago and I should get over it. So when that pissed me off I told him it didnt matter how long ago a promise is a promise FRIEND. Then he wants to go all into the stop texting me and mentioning old stuff, and that he wouldnt sound so mean if I would do what he asked. So after that I said your words are too worthless to hurt me.. So his low comback was that he sees why my child's dad left which he doesnt even know the whole story to...
I said all that to conclude that I am truly hurt but I am keepin my distance. Im still in shock that this was the same person that promised me no matter what our friendship would always be strong. But apparently not. Now I cant face him and have no words for him either. Its like he made me an enemy and my only intention in this whole matter was just to have a cool friend. That's it
Oh wow. Yeah, you should NEVER feel bad for expecting complete privacy & loyalty from someone, ESPECIALLY if they're constantly asking you to trust them. He betrayed that trust but yet he didn't want to hear your mouth about it when he got caught up. Figures! What he doesn't realize is that betraying someone's trust will hurt whether that betrayal was done YESTERDAY..Or 2 years ago! Now had you brought it up 60 times & yet he said, "let it go," that'd be 1 thing. BUT since it was your FIRST time bringing it up to him, he had a lot of NERVE to act like YOU were in the wrong for calling him out on something HE did wrong!
He flipped the script on you & resorted to throwing "low blows" b/c that was his way of protecting his ego. He knows he F'd up. He knew the minute he snitched you out that he was wrong. And the message he was sending you when he did that was that you SHOULDN'T expect the same loyalty/respect from him when you guys are fighting or having tough times. It sucks, BUT hey now you know! You're NOT imagining things so don't even 2nd-guess yourself.. This guy is doing you a FAVOR by showing you his TRUE colors. So take it for what it is & go from there!
Him bringing that up about your child's father was just LOW, BUT the fact that he had to stoop so low tells you just HOW MUCH he felt embarrassed when you finally called him out on it. After all, if he didn't feel that you should've mad about him snitching you out, then he shouldn't have BEGGED you to tell him who told in the 1st place! BUT, that's what happens when you betray 1 friend's trust to gain another's. You can't rob Peter to pay Paul b/c if you do it WILL backfire. And this guy has SHOWN you repeatedly that he's NO good when your back is TURNED.
So instead of being mad & questioning everything, THANK HIM! Thank him for showing you his TRUE colors. See now you know that all the shxt he's said in your ear in the past was probably utter BULL! So THANK him for showing you who he REALLY is! Thank him for sparing you from trusting/wanting him 1 MORE DAY more than you were truly supposed to!
He's not only full of it when it comes to him swearing up & down that he wants more than friendship from you, but hell he doesn't even know what it means to a be a regular plain ole friend! THAT'S a problem! Not only do we all want LOYAL & respectful boyfriends, we ALSO oughta want loyal FRIENDS too.
So honey, let him go.
He flipped the script on you & resorted to throwing "low blows" b/c that was his way of protecting his ego. He knows he F'd up. He knew the minute he snitched you out that he was wrong. And the message he was sending you when he did that was that you SHOULDN'T expect the same loyalty/respect from him when you guys are fighting or having tough times. It sucks, BUT hey now you know! You're NOT imagining things so don't even 2nd-guess yourself.. This guy is doing you a FAVOR by showing you his TRUE colors. So take it for what it is & go from there!
Him bringing that up about your child's father was just LOW, BUT the fact that he had to stoop so low tells you just HOW MUCH he felt embarrassed when you finally called him out on it. After all, if he didn't feel that you should've mad about him snitching you out, then he shouldn't have BEGGED you to tell him who told in the 1st place! BUT, that's what happens when you betray 1 friend's trust to gain another's. You can't rob Peter to pay Paul b/c if you do it WILL backfire. And this guy has SHOWN you repeatedly that he's NO good when your back is TURNED.
So instead of being mad & questioning everything, THANK HIM! Thank him for showing you his TRUE colors. See now you know that all the shxt he's said in your ear in the past was probably utter BULL! So THANK him for showing you who he REALLY is! Thank him for sparing you from trusting/wanting him 1 MORE DAY more than you were truly supposed to!
He's not only full of it when it comes to him swearing up & down that he wants more than friendship from you, but hell he doesn't even know what it means to a be a regular plain ole friend! THAT'S a problem! Not only do we all want LOYAL & respectful boyfriends, we ALSO oughta want loyal FRIENDS too.
So honey, let him go.
Understand that SOME people don't/won't have unconditional loyalty towards you. We see this type of things with children all the time. When the couple is together, the man treats his woman AND child like a queen. BUT the minute that couple breaks up, the man all of the sudden not only starts disrespecting the woman, BUT also distancing himself from the child! And it's DEAD WRONG! There should ALWAYS be a difference b/w you in the relationship vs. you as a parent! The child should NEVER know the difference or feel LESS loved all b/c their parents didn't end up staying together. BUT to some people, their loyalty is only CONDITIONAL & only on CONDITION! And that's what it sounds like with this guy.
I'm not even convinced that he was GENUIENE when you guys WERE doing great & moving forward, BUT I'm not surprised that he flipped the script on you as soon as things got tough. Him flipping on you like that was HIS way of showing you that NO, he doesn't feel the same loyalty & respect from you anymore. You may be the kind of person that still keeps your mouth closed way AFTER the friendship has stauled/ended, BUT to HIM, all bets were off the min. you two hit a rough patch. It sucks, BUT hey it oughta be a lesson learned!
And if you ever do end up going back to him, NOW YOU KNOW what to expect the minute you 2 hit a rough patch. He'll be Mr. Prince charming ONLY on condition. THAT'S a problem & this about him will make it IMPOSSIBLE for even a regular friendship b/w you 2 to last b/c EVERY friendship/relationship will go through its rough patches. And if you can't maintain atleast SOME level of honesty, loyalty & dignity through the rough patch, then the friendship is NOT real or worth having/saving.
Let him go. What he did wrong wasn't technically THAT bad. He could've done worse & if you continue to keep him around, he probably WILL do worse! So if he was ready/willing to throw THAT LOW of a blow over something that's not even that big of a crime, IMAGINE what kind of low blows he'd throw when he actually DOES do something foul in the future?!
I'm not even convinced that he was GENUIENE when you guys WERE doing great & moving forward, BUT I'm not surprised that he flipped the script on you as soon as things got tough. Him flipping on you like that was HIS way of showing you that NO, he doesn't feel the same loyalty & respect from you anymore. You may be the kind of person that still keeps your mouth closed way AFTER the friendship has stauled/ended, BUT to HIM, all bets were off the min. you two hit a rough patch. It sucks, BUT hey it oughta be a lesson learned!
And if you ever do end up going back to him, NOW YOU KNOW what to expect the minute you 2 hit a rough patch. He'll be Mr. Prince charming ONLY on condition. THAT'S a problem & this about him will make it IMPOSSIBLE for even a regular friendship b/w you 2 to last b/c EVERY friendship/relationship will go through its rough patches. And if you can't maintain atleast SOME level of honesty, loyalty & dignity through the rough patch, then the friendship is NOT real or worth having/saving.
Let him go. What he did wrong wasn't technically THAT bad. He could've done worse & if you continue to keep him around, he probably WILL do worse! So if he was ready/willing to throw THAT LOW of a blow over something that's not even that big of a crime, IMAGINE what kind of low blows he'd throw when he actually DOES do something foul in the future?!
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